LBJ23

Now I live for 3 weeks in a new town and there I have started to meditate. At the beginning I had there no new friends, no Internet access and no other employment. There I had to spend time with myself alone and now, finally, therefore, I have started to meditate every day a little bit. I have to fight with depressive phases and with fear of people, but i make progress from day to day. In the new town I make just a medical rehabilitation to become healthy again. My aim is to study psychology.

I will start the first week with an 20 minute meditation habit tomorrow. Then I see what thoughts come up. Then I will increase the 2-4 weeks out of 30 minutes per day. I notice which thoughts come up.

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild best or a god. Aristotle

I failed completly in my first try. I`ve been not meditating at all. Let´s try it tomorrow again. I start with 20 minutes per day.

"In theory there is no different between practice and theory. But in practice, there is." Yogi Berra

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." Socrates

Day 1: - Thought at my depression and on my cry last year - anxiety that my girlfriend does not answer and that i have to eat alone with my friend - fear that i don´t hold the 20min meditation session trough - pain in the chest and in the stomach - piano lesson from childhood with my sister - Thought on personal development coach which laught during meditation session - Ex-friend of mine verbal abused me - Humiliation from friends who make jokes on me - Fear loosing my girlfriend - Fear that my girlfriend cheat on me - Fear that my girlfriend cheat on me with a friend of mine - Nervousness/ playing with my hair - Cutting damage - I sensed my butt on the pillow - noise from a plane - Thought that i am being hungry - Listlessness to shower - silence/ hearing the alarm - My mother bring out the garbage and work

There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn´t true, the other is to refuse to accept what is true. Soren Kierkegaard

I fear myself the most.

"A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him. " Soren Kierkegaard

"I see it all perfectly ; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do it not - you will regret both. " Soren Kierkegaard

nobody can be enlightened because there is no one. enlightment is an illusion. no one can reach enlightment but the I will try it and has no chance. enlightment is the death of the person. the person are apparently enlightened but not in reality. it´s a story and not the truth.

andreas müller The message of The Timeless Wonder points to a nondual reality, which is recognized as the natural reality. There is no 'I' living its own life. There is no entity called 'me' existing as an individual. All there is, is wholeness appearing as this.

@Parki Accept your shyness at the beginning. It´s not a problem being shy. Realise your shyness more and observe your patterns. Behave every day a little bit differently in the direction where you would want there. It increases your self-esteem. After a time it becomes a habit. Look like you feel and ask yourself if you want to go this way or not.