jse

"How I became enlightened" - no need to watch, that says it all.

All practices reinforce the self/I/ego. Most important practice: no-practice.

Almost 2 hours to "explain" Love... Here is a much better, concise explanation:

Should the "I" love the "I"? Or (same same)... should the ego love the ego? Should an illusion love itself?

"I have to make sure that I'm there when enlightenment arrives." The "me" wanting enlightenment - hilarious...

Then this is for you.

Your obvious inability to tolerate criticism and your resorting to ad hominem attacks in order to defend your self-obsessed over-intellectualized viewpoint, speaks volumes for the path you are on. My hope is that as time passes and failures (such as your 30-day psychedelic retreat) mount up, more of your adoring fans will see through the messenger and chose the message instead.

There is nothing pedantic about nonduality - don't confuse the messenger for the message. This is what muddying the waters with the intellectual mind's obfuscation looks like:

The more that is spoken about something that is outside of the mind's grasp, the more confusion (and reinforcement of the "self" illusion) that will eventuate.

"You" are not missing out on anything, because "you" won't be there to block the experience. It's precisely because "you" weren't there (i.e. the psychedelic moved your active mind out of the way), that the awakening experience was allowed to unfold. However, after the experience "you" will take memories of the psychedelic-induced experience, and in a weird hindsight-based reconstruction claim it as your own. "I was there", "I experienced eternity", "I became God". No! - "you" were not there. It's just bullshit to support the mental process' desperate attempt at keeping alive the fragile illusion of a separate self. "Spiritual practices" themselves (and in particular chasing enlightenment) are hijacked and used by the mental process, to reinforce the illusion of an ego seeking salvation from the self, for itself, as a self. For fuck's sake, Leo... after all the effort you've put into this, shouldn't you get it by now?

Yes, it's called "sleep". Best time for this practice is at night.

Diary entry #756783, meditation... stage 2: "Today I realized meditation is ambushed by the self, and used to reinforce the illusion of a meditator."

Indeed. Take heed of the voice of experience.

Who is there, now?

The self wants to escape the self, as the self.