ajasatya

i can't guarantee that, but it's certainly true for me. i am an expert ex-victim. i recognize the victim mindset a thousands miles away. what worked for me? raw, harsh, direct, hard and clear truth!

@Mikael89 it hurts, doesn't it?

@TheBeachBionic yes, that's true. finding a healthy intimate relationship takes lots and lots of hard work. nobody just gets it for free. there will be no interesting partners interested in someone with the victim mindset. it took me 3 years to become someone interesting and now i'm married. you can start today and maybe you'll become a healthy person in 2~3 years? healthy people don't get along with unhealthy people. it's a natural mechanism of life and it's present on the entire animal kingdom actually. healthy wants healthy so the kids have a chance to grow even healthier. so yes, you're right. it's safe to assume that the prior likelihood is that nobody will want to be with you unless you become a healthy person. unless you want to be part of a toxic, fucked up and abusive relationship. those are easy to find.

you're completely right on this one. responsibility is necessary. thank you

yes. so people can see through the victim bullshit. if you don't call them to wake up, they will look at those texts and think "omg i'm so fucked up. why am i so nice in such a cruel world? no women will want me this way" it's pathetic. and straightforward realistic perceptions are highly curative. and i'll say it again. look around. most people are ignorant. when i was even more ignorant, a few years ago, i got into a fucked up relationship. one of those related in the texts. hell, i was miserable

most men are stupid. most women are stupid. they go well together. let them be.

@Rilles human beings are not like other animals. we don't have tough skins, sharp claws... we're not poisonous, we don't swim very well, we don't run very well and our feet are very fragile. we don't climb trees with dexterity and we can't fly. there's nothing wrong with being a social animal. villages and towns are our natural habitat. learning how to live in the woods is not how human beings will thrive. we will thrive when we learn how to live in groups peacefully and in harmony with natural resources. if i were put on the wild i would probably die. and there's nothing wrong about that. it's like a whale that's been transferred to an artificial aquarium... it will die extremely early.

@kieranperez this is why i asked you what your practical steps would be on another thread. knowing what you want and not knowing the actual path to get there is helpless. "i want to help people expand their consciousness" - that's not a proper goal. that's just empty gibberish. you will have goals when you decide exactly you want to be doing from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. and then you list the requirements for that task that you still have to master. when i decided that i wanted to be a data scientist, it would drive me very anxious because i didn't know what to do to get there. then i started to communicate with many data scientists and ask them questions about what they actually do. so i realized that i needed to study statistical models, hypothesis tests, data management pipelines, validation methods, model deployment etc etc. you gotta get more granular. you gotta get as granular as possible. this is something i also heard from elon musk.

@How to be wise Science is a systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in the form of testable explanations and predictions about the universe. c'mon, you can do better than wikipedia...

then you don't know what you are.

those are not scientists. those are just random people who became attached to scientific models as their religion. the scientist is in the lab making experiments, measuring magnitudes and publishing his results. also, you cannot say that those are false. you just can't say that they're true unless you've had the direct experience of them. until then, those are neither false or true. a question for you. what is science?

@How to be wise true scientists know that they don't speak of Truth. they know that they're creating models for Reality. and their job is to create models that can predict phenomena with as much accuracy as possible. you're probably projecting your own frustration onto scientists. instead, i recommend that you get in touch with competent scientists and have a little talk about the philosophy of science. or try to do a scientific research and publish your results. you'll learn much more about science that way than by speculating about the way that scientists think. this may clarify things for you. notice that we're always talking about models and measuring how accurate our models are. this is why you're able to use a blender, drive a car or use a smartphone.

what is it that possesses an ego?

it's not that simple... it's a pattern constructed through years. it's possible to clean it all.

@ThrowAway ask yourself: what is it that dies? what is it that is born? what are you right now? what is Reality made of? don't let these questions die untill you've got it very clearly. it may take a few years.

@Key Elements yes, it's our wedding

by finding good habits. don't quit bad habits. instead, find subistitutes.

something like a trophy that says how smart/amazing/cool you are... like winning a competition. then you go like "hey, you only won because you cheated". i find that perspective poor and misleading.

you talk about "getting laid" as if it were something else... it makes things worse for people like the OP let the man be the man

i'm going to tell you a big lie: God is the mystery of existence itself. every slice of Reality is infinitely profound. you can either ignore it or you can contemplate it and live it deeply. what the hell did i just say? nevermind...

1 hour and a half but it means absolutely nothing. you're better off meditating 20 minutes everyday than meditating 2 hours in one go every week.

@Emanyalpsid it has nothing to do with "believing you are God". it's about realizing your divine nature and aligning with the flow of Life. it's about eradicating the existential fear and finally being able to feel compassion and humility of Heart. this "believing you are God" is your own fantasy. the fantasy of the egoic mind, that cannot perceive the depth of this inner work. the fantasy of the egoic mind that projects its own egoic pattern onto others, thinking that everyone wants to be as important as it (the egoic mind) wants to be. you don't know what you're talking about when you say "God"...

catching that unicorn was waaaay easier than catching the unicorn that was in me in fact, i knew that i would find someone like her after i managed to transform myself. i just didn't know that it would only take 3 months after the major transformation. sure, you can see the unicorns. btw, the video you posted above is extremely superficial it doesn't tap into the best of Life! i highly recommend dropping the "women as toys for sex and trophies for the ego" game. it's a very toxic way to relate to people.

you are Truth regardless of what you think. you are Truth regardless of your capability to think. you are Truth regardless of what you seek or avoid. you cannot be anything else.

@Pilgrim get closer to nature and observe the flowers and the sunset. make your own adventures. sit down in silence and watch the anxiety that arises. face it all. face it until it vanishes. even if it takes hours/days/weeks/months/years/decades.