ajasatya

yes, i see what you mean and i agree with you. - how to find a good partner? For instance; how can you know if someone is right for you? first, make sure that you want to build a family. building a family doesn't necessarily mean having kids. building a family means spending the rest of your life renouncing selfish patterns having an intimate partner as your best friend. then you need someone like that... someone that truly wants to build a family. and even that, which is very rare, is not enough. both need to dream of the same lifestyle. dreaming and actually working towards a healthy life (in ALL ASPECTS) is fundamental. living a fully healthy life requires a lot of hardwork, which leaves no open space for boredoom or anxiety. teamwork is required. - what attracts people and which of these factors are more/less authentic/pure there is only one thing that attracts high quality relationships: living at a high quality standard and sincerely aiming even higher. such people are so rare that when you see someone like that it will make your eyes shine. the same will happen for the other person. - to what degree is romantic love authentic or a distortion of reality? the romantic love that's being indoctrinated in our culture is full of pettiness, neediness and cravings. it's about demanding and expecting... NOBODY can live that and nothing is actually being built. wanna know what is the most romantic thing ever? your complete presence! in fact, there's nothing more valuable than your full attention. making eye contact and deeply listening is unimaginably powerful. - how active should one be in their search? not much. the most important part is about working on yourself. you gotta be ready to offer as much as you think a high quality partner would be ready to offer. - how to go deeper in to love without possessiveness/neediness? develop unconditional love towards everyone. be kind and gentle to everyone around you. listen way more than you speak. sympathize with those who suffer and be ready to listen to them just to help them. people can help themselves just by speaking about their problems... usually, you don't even have to say anything. don't manipulate the conversations to be about yourself. - what are your thoughts on masculine & feminine energy? everyone should develop the ability to be strong, gentle, honest, cheerful, silent, graceful, flexible and rigorous when needed.

as a matter of practice, that's exactly being "spiritually inclined". lots of people on this forum think they are spiritual, but when they're supposed to grow up and mature they go like "no, dont touch me!"

@Benoit Jazy the idea of abstract spiritual ascension is nothing new.

i like to do things slowly. as slow as possible. i find it a lot easier to enjoy life on slow pace.

"good job! keep it up!"

@izakooo i think you should start a journal! https://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/16-self-actualization-journals/ please do so

yes, exactly. and yes, calculus is mathematics

it's already been done for thousands of years. although, the thin bottleneck is on the next step, which is about actually finding out what we truly are. if you want to guide people, go through the entire path first.

can't be done. the only way to Truth is through direct experience.

@Ampresus i don't regret doing or not doing anything. but i have this thing that was crucial for me when i was 14 years old: i started to learn deeper math. i am not a genius, so i worked really hard. i studied topics from future classes by myself and i struggled a lot to understand them. this effort made the topics that the entire classrom was studying quite trivial for me. my grades started to skyrocket. so this is my tip: always be ahead of your classmates. the vast majority of teenagers are highly distracted and undisciplined. nowadays you can go very far with just a little bit of discipline and focus. shine on!

no, total freedom = not being influenced by thoughts of "i can't do it". total freedom = acknowledging that there's no pre-determined course for you. your range of options is as vast as the range of options for mankind as a whole.

have you become a fully-whole and extraordinary human being, whatever that means, yet?

no i meant it in a more broad way. most people want their life purpose to be presented to them in some mystical experience. but it never happened to me during my experiences with psychedelics. this is how i see it: try lots of things out. you won't be able to know what you enjoy doing until you actually do it.

@Aquarius from suffering to wisdom. i'm happy for you keep it up

because you're not suffering enough.

@Manjushri cut your internet usage by at least 75% and start working out instead.

from my experience with psychedelics, no. psychedelics will take you to what you are in the most fundamental level, way beyond the avatar of whoever @CreamCat is in person. within the vastity and creativity of what you truly are, you're free to do whatever. are you brave enough to face your complete freedom while most people crave for some kind of guidance? this subject reminds me of some talks i've had with @bejapuskas.

it's kind of mindblowing that everyone is the source of reality, isn't it?

@herghly tibetan buddhism has its own straightforward and clean meditation technique and it's called shamatha.

thank you and congratulations!

that's deceptive i've thought about it a lot and i was able to find the flaw on that line of thought. if you ever get to the point where others' happiness truly makes you happy, the barrier of "my happiness" and "their happiness" is just imaginary. in the end, everyone is simply happy and nobody is doing anything wrong. calling the desire to make others happy selfishness is a kind of self-deception. i had to allow myself to feel it in my heart in order to be even happier. the problem arises when your state of happiness depends on others' happiness. that's just deliberately asking for frustration and suffering. i don't think about that possibility. that's just fear... a waste of mental energy. i do spend mental energy thinking about how to make every day feel better and better. it's not static, since we're both improving ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. in fact, the speed at which my life is changing and improving has increased drastically after we've decided to engage in this journey together.

there's no limit for how deeply connected a couple can be. if you want to eliminate the emotional involvement and the possibility of building a family... if you just want to play around with people, scratching the surface and bowing to convenience, that's your choice. been there, done that. even though i managed to do it without attachment, i look behind and i see how poor i was compared to what i experience now. to be honest, i am quite disappointed by how this thread turned out to be about contract and sex. very shallow indeed. but that's fine i guess... everyone can only speak from their experiences. if i came here 5~6 years ago, i would be saying the very same things you're saying. that's not love yet. that's just passion, as you said it yourself, like a fire that fades away. love is far far beyond that. first of all, you can't go very far if you don't love yourself. loving yourself means that you want to take care of yourself. one should strive for a healthy diet, physical exercises, emotional stability and mental steadiness, for instance. this kind of life is built. habits take a while to stick, but that's a life with self-love. for the same reason, love between a couple is built. it takes a lot of effort and hardwork. it takes a lot of wisdom and courage. it grows deeper and deeper, infinitely. true love is desiring the best for the other regardless of the situation. true love is about the couple being victorious together, always. from my experience, this is one of the deepest desires of the human heart: to open completely and give in to something that can be infinitely bigger than itself. marriage gives you this opportunity.

watchout! it's a trap!

this is something i noticed when talking to lots and lots of people. i'm more of a listener so i try to get people to places where they are scared to visit alone. i found out that the simple act of talking about their emotional difficulties can be incredibly healing. so we heal together by opening up when the other is truly listening. it's doable because we trust each other... the only challenge is the willingness to explore emotional pain. we build trust and compassion. i found myself defending groundless dogma several times, specially about spirituality. so i had to let go of useless concepts and struggle a little more to understand what REALLY is purification and how it leads to harmony. we do have some intense talks very rarely. but it's always calm and in low tone of voice. we talk about our own ways of feeling and expressing those feelings when things don't happen exactly how we want. it's a great way to learn more about emotional mastery. the good criteria for me was "someone who values health and growth over vanity and vices". how did i know? not so easy... we talked a lot. i was trying to sense her degree of commitment to spiritual purification. we agree that we want to live a healthy life. we want to eat well, exercise and experience emotions in healthy ways. we wouldn't be able to do that if we focused on buying useless and pricey clothes, cellphones of furniture. vanity slows you a lot. we have a vision for a healthy society and we want to have kids raised with love that can contribute with that world. it feels amazing when we understand that we can contribute to a better world through the feeling of love. i don't know how it is where you live, but here in brazil there are many different kinds of contracts. in our experience, we didn't even care that much about the contract. our vision was already crystal clear that we wanted to grow.

toxic thought pattern alert! lemme rephrase what you said. the act of marriage is a magical ceremony to celebrate the fact that 2 people are united in the name of Truth. edit: i'll be answering questions later.