ajasatya

@Nivsch turquoise is not nearly as mental as yellow. yellow is still very conceptual. for instance: the spiral dynamics framework is within yellow mindset a super advanced zen student is at yellow an intellectual yogi is at yellow someone who studies several spiritual traditions and religions is at yellow but beyond all that there is Truth. turquoise is living while conscious that GOD is all there is.

@emind look for a zen sangha nearby and practice with them at least once every week. zazen should bring a lot of s#!7 to the surface.

@flume i suggest travelling first, then settling down. experience both (because why not).

zero. it's a toxic way of thinking about what it means to be a man.

makyo

@sgn meditation is a paradoxical thing. true meditation is not meditation. it's no thing.

@leintdav000 the brain works in a way so that new abstraction layers are built as we grow older. at early stages, the brain learn very straightforward tasks, such as understanding your senses, walking, running, understanding and speaking, recognizing facial expressions etc. then, as time passes by, we learn how to investigate things with more depth. we can reach the limits of the mind with the process of intellectualization. and then it's also possible to go beyond the mind altogether.

@emind if you fear the possibility that your ex is having sex and you are not, i suggest that you try to accept it as a fact: your ex is having sex and you are not. not because it's true, but because you have to learn how to accept it. she's a completely different human being and owes you nothing. now that you're single, it's the best moment to take your time to turn inwards. face your struggles, aim for growth and become a virtuous person. go beyond the mind of a chimp (which is constantly thinking about fornication, food and/or noise).

this is inaccurate. i've been here for around 2 years and what i see is people becoming free of their own self-sabotaging habits little by little... each on their own pace. i've seen people come out on top as completely different persons, ready to thrive. how does it happen? it's a mysterious process of self-inquiry and inner investigation. telling people to read the bible and believe in jesus as a core message has never worked in front of my eyes. not just in this forum but in my entire life. from the perspective of someone else, your ideas and points of view are just dogmas unless they experience it by themselves.

nope. but i don't recommend starting random conversations out of nothing with random people. i would be a hypocrite if i did. instead i say go live new experiences and you will have what to talk about with people. not because you will have to come up with things to say, but because interaction is a straightforward consequence of people meeting to do something together.

what is "soul"? what do you want to achieve?

i do not consider myself a reader of the bible, but the bible does present beautiful stories of good men with peaceful souls. warning: i am presenting my own view of a beautiful life for a man. this is just food for thought for you. for me, a beautiful life for a man is quite simple if seen from the outside, but it's very deep if seen from the inside. if you focus on being a good husband, a good father, a good professional and a good friend, you're already doing better than 99.9999999% of men on this planet at the moment. what does "good" mean? i see "good" as a combination of immortal values such as justice, patience, courage, willpower, hard work, compassion, tenderness, temperance and purity of heart. being genuinely good requires a huge layer of foundations, which is severely overlooked by the average joe. don't be the average joe living an unfulfilling life... study every aspect of your language and imagination. and ask for wisdom from the bottom of your heart everyday. ask for wisdom with your entire soul.

here's a good start: question your values and beliefs. set them on fire and see what survives. what is the kind of life that you want for yourself? do you care about being a good example to society? what are the main characteristics of a great human being?

this is an impossible task. how can you make sure you're not cherry picking your samples and introducing HUGE biases in your study? studying controlled data is already complex enough. have you ever seen how a serious statistical social research is made?

@Sidi there is no fundamental answer. it's a relative value. the question is: are you brave enough to commit to a set of values that you've built for yourself? again: these can't be built for you by someone else. luckily, that's your job and yours only.

those labels did nothing more than harm to me. such a waste of time and mental energy.

@NoSelfSelf not sure if this will help, but what can be more interesting in a conversation between 2 human beings than the human beings themselves? develop true interest towards the other person. ask about what he/she thinks about his/her own life or about life in general. if you know how to listen properly, people will tell you the strangest things. the perspective of a person is an infinite rabbit hole.

the is the root cause of your struggle. you have a crystallized conception about what is true. if you're unable to let go of your beliefs, this forum may turn into your Hell. good luck.

@mandyjw i recommend that you team up with a trustworthy lawyer and a trustworthy psychologist. this looks like a potential seed for a green/yellow company.

@John Iverson more important than achieving success on this field: learning to lose and accepting rejection.

@Hardkill how do you think your question would be answered? data? interviews? hypothesis tests? what metrics would you use? how would you define a "good leader" numerically? before sticking to a question, i suggest that you ask yourself how would a good answer look like. keep in mind that deductive answers rarely work in reality. if you're not playing with abstract logical environments, you will need data to support your theses.

it may work with monkeys, lions and birds. but the human creature is too different to fit in such simplistic box. if you're involved with lower levels of consciousness, then yes. money, power, physical strength and low agreeableness may suggest that you are a good candidate to proliferate. in higher levels of consciousness, your ability and fluency in the practice of human virtues are far more important than lower traits. a small list of powerful virtues: honesty humility willpower kindness compassion temperance flexibility

@ivankiss here's another way of looking at it: have no friends. be a friend to people. get closer to them listen to them answer their questions calmly and patiently give them advice if requested demand nothing

@Empty i'm going to say this because nobody else has said it: i'd just get the hell out of there.

@Sauvik ever thought about dropping all this male/female/alpha/beta/gama thing? for how long have you been playing with these toys?