ajasatya

@john5170 it won't become you if you depend on external substances. it's not very different from marijuana or alcohol, which can give a glimpse of the same stress free experience. you have to practice mindfulness as @Gabriel Antonio said. you can even forget about the mushrooms and just practice 24/7 mindfulness. there's no shortcut.

my first fundamental fear was the fear of death and then it turned into the fear of eternity.

this forum helps me to mature my comprehension about what spiritual enlightenment really is and what it is not as it teaches me about the nature of the human suffering. this forum also helps me to improve the teachings i provide to help people around me. i can see my teachings becoming simpler and more effective.

@Jordan wang porn can fuck your life pretty badly. masturbation is bad if you cannot live without it, just like any other addiction.

@faith your frustration is a gift. and being sick of being frustrated is a bigger gift. there will be a turning point from which you won't be able to live by your old patterns anymore. there's nothing i can tell to help you. i can only hope it doesn't take you 40 years to start cleaning up your mess. your teacher is your own disgust. your fuel is your own suffering.

one must search within himself the wisdom to say or write such things. i myself had a phase in which i wanted to read all the buddhist suttas. it only lasted 3 days before i realized the non-sense behind the attempt to attain wisdom by reading any kind of scripture written by anyone else.

is he happy though? isn't his behavior a symptom of an inner anguish? aren't those signals of an unfulfilled life?

hello dear brother. i am playing a role on this forum. the ugliness/beauty of what i say is correlated with the ugliness/beauty of what people need to hear (read), which is correlated with the ugliness/beauty of what people are doing to themselves. sometimes i wish i had someone in the past with enough courage to throw my own lies on my face, just like i did with our friend @Electron. it would have hurt like hell, but it would have saved me from many ailments that i was summoning to myself due to ignorance. healing can get very dirty, ugly and painful before it blooms.

self inquiry is not supposed to give you answers. it's supposed to get you to an "unaswerable" state. it's supposed to break your mind and expose your irremediable ignorance. it's supposed to destroy your intellectual pride. if you really want to do it, stop asking others and get used to not knowing. nobody else can help you. we can only frustrate you and that's probably our job.

@Joseph Maynor go out in a quest to find the best yoga teachers for you. that's what i did. that's what seekers have been doing for centuries. luckily, you don't have to walk to another country on your own feet anymore. take the bus and stop by some yoga teaching center. there are plenty around us nowadays. they usually offer some free experimental class. if you're interested in kundalini yoga, check this out!

every breath i take feels like a prayer.

when i was a child i had these existential crisis because i could not grasp the fundamental nature of what i meant by "i". these experiences were always extremely terrifying as i felt like i was simulating my own death. i also had (and still have) the ability to focus in a way that triggered a funny pain in the center of my forehead. i used this technique to tolerate boring classes.

take some time to yourself, close your eyes and try to find that anger/apathy within your body. try to reach its source. relax each part of your body that you target with your attention. if you get in touch with that pain, stay with it and breath deeply. do it until you master the level of mindfulness to practice anytime, anywhere.

@Kimasxi the suffering you're experiencing is teaching you to live without expectations. it hurts because of your attachments. let go of the entire armor. it does hurt. that's how we differentiate between real work and mental masturbation. yes, it's getting you closer to enlightenment.

that's life in a monastery. the heart of zen.

then why did you create this thread? are you running away from your social phobia when deep deep inside you may not be so sure about your lonely satisfaction? do you strive to maintain the mask of the satisfied lonely guy but you secretly watch porn, masturbate and waste the shit out of your sexual energy more or less everyday? how hard is it to feed the politically correct self-image when you are actually carrying a crapload of guilt and fear within you?

@Weltschmerz it's just your imagination. if you're going to open your mind, be responsible for what you let in. these beliefs are clearly decreasing your life quality. you used to run late at night in the dark forest. that was fucking awesome. throw them away again.

@Vladimir we're already working together. i don't see your point. what else would you want? if you want to contribute to humanity in a richer way, try starting a meditation group where you live. invest in permaculture. start an organic food business. become an yoga teacher by reaching self-mastery. work on your channel and inspire people around you. do things in real life. this online environment can't go further than this, really.

becoming THAT is already doing enough. desiring power or starting any kind of group fantasy simply feeds the cycle of ignorance. do it for compassion. we're not more special than anyone. face it straight.

@Vladimir don't go that way. it won't work. instead, simply stop consuming red meat and chicken stop consuming milk stop consuming white sugar stop buying useless clothes turn off your tv and global news on the internet find a way out of oil dependence. use electrical cars, bicycles and your legs don't consume and don't share trash culture don't consume pornography develop deep respect for women cultivate a healthy and pure body so you don't depend too much on the government to pay for your health you just need to transform yourself. we just need to stop playing the hypocrite role.

this is a horrible advice for beginners. as beginners, we do need to perform a shift on the things we value in our lives. we need the willpower to go from unhealthy to healthy. when we play the role of those who provide guidance, it's also a chance for us to expand our own consciousness due to the fact that we need to be truly humble and compassionate, since it's not about our correctness.

@WaterfallMachine here you go

@harisankartj i'll give you some examples gross experiences: going to heavy parties to get drunk and stunned; being addicted to sexual satisfaction; clinging to massive social/media acknowledgment; craving for material ostentation. subtle experiences drinking tea mindfully; talking to other person while making full eye contact; listening deeply to the environment and contemplating your breath; walking slowly without any achievements in mind, not even a place to get to.

@Mondsee he's extremely attached to you and suffers a lot. it's that simple. the solution, in other hand, is not, because it involves pain, frustration. if you live trying to postpone/avoid that pain, you'll be feeding his attachment and your prison, which causes more suffering to both of you. if you face it for once and start living for the sake of your freedom, there will be liberating pain (not suffering) for both of you. talk to him about his attachment to control and how it affects your life.

@Black Flag you're experiencing spiritual poverty. your sources of happiness are doomed to give you frustration. you still depend on external approval. you depend on the acceptance of your parents and you depend on your intimate relationship. you want to fulfill external expectations that you accepted as being yours. you may find true happiness on the attainment of a peaceful of mind, which does not depend on those external factors. it takes a lot of practice and patience. try improving your eating habits. try yoga classes. try joining a zen sangha. do something different because the outcome won't change if you keep living day after day being ruled by the same destructive patterns. change completely. let the old you die.