Natasha

My Mom is temporarily living with me while her apartment is being remodeled. She often unconsciously tries to trigger me, so I just assert my boudaries and carry on with my life. Her attempts to guilt trip and make me try to win her approval doesn't work anymore. All that stuff from childhood has been dealt with through shadow and conscienceness work. Leo speaks on this matter in today's video. Also, Eckhart Tolle in his video 'Dealing With Unconscious People': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqr98O8QT3M

My Mom's apartment is being remodeled, so she's temporarily staying with me. It's been kinda challenging... imagine being around someone else's monkey mind on a daily basis. I love my Mom and I want her to feel welcome and accepted, but sometimes I have to assert boundaries and retreat. Especially when I meditate, she would start doin smth around the house making commotion, or asking questions, or talking about stuff, etc. And when I carry on with my sit and don't respond, she would complain that I'm ignoring her. I do try to give her my attention and attend to her emotional needs, but I also let her know I have my own stuff to do apart from her. As Leo said (and Eckhart also mentioned in one of his vids), use it as in-field mindfulness training. It's not easy. As I'm typing this, Mom is walking around huffing and puffing, because I'm on the forum and not doing what in her mind she thinks I should be doing at this moment

Rupert echoes this point:

The dorky side of Eckhart

@Shin Go for it. You always pick good ones out to make a point

@Alii An enlightened being would not identify with the personal story of 'me' and with a role of a victim. An enligtened would not victimize anything or anyone, because only victims victimize. That doesn't mean an enlightened cannot kill under certain curcumstances, though. The dis-identification with body-mind would make them more attuned to the 'here' and 'now' without a judgement or a label. Their desposition toward life would also be more fluid. There woud be no true attachments.

@Danielle Yep, typical ego backlash. Here's more helpful insights:

We are the happiest when we lose our identity

Doubt is questioning the validity of the currently held knowledge/belief in the light of the new information/experience.

Jim has had tough times in his life - failures, depression, divorce, deaths of loved ones, etc. Intense suffering is known to either make you self-distruct or to trigger awakening. I read somewhere Eckhart Tolle's teachings played a big role (pun not intended). Glad Jim was able to transcend all the nonsence of money and Hollywood fame. Richard Gere is another awakened Hollywood celebrity, his path is through the Buddhist tradition, though.

You realize Shin wasn't BS-ing you, right? You are indeed IT, enlightenment embodied. "You are what you're seeking" - Mooji It's so simple, it's funny

@MiracleMan Look up 'cognitive dissonance' and co-dependecy. My father was a narc too and mother an empath, I struggled with co-dependency for many years, until I learned enough to start the healing process and the answer is healthy self-love. Learn to love yourself in a healthy way first, and to nurture and accept yourself unconditionally. YT has great channels on understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse. Check out: *Peace and Harmony (highly insightful and therapeutic) *Understanding Narcissists (he is a grown son of a narcissistic father, offers practical advice) *Inner Integration (always great material) *Richard Grannon SpartanLifeCoach (martial art coach with a degree in psychology, really good stuff up to the point, no BS approach) *Sam Vaknin (a conscious malignant narcissist explaining how narcissists think and operate from 1st person perspective) Leo also has videos 'How to Deal With Difficult and Toxic People', 'How to Accept Yourself Unconditionally', 'How to Stop Being a Victim' Part 1 and 2 I don't know your age, but if abuse continues, you might have to distance yourself from or even cut ties with your Dad. You are the one to decide when to remove your hand from under the pounding hammer. Understand that toxic emotions of guilt, shame, fear, etc are created by emotonal vampires so they can control their target. Develop a narcdar and don't offer anymore of your lifeblood to them. You are not helpless. Educate yourself, knowledge is power. Go No Contact if necessary.

Or you could just shine the light of awareness on what would make you want to tell your boss to f*off (hint - the ego). So, you'd rest in that recognition and say nothing not out of fear to be fired, but because you wouldn't want to further feed the ego by saying those words. If Jesus was an awakened and highly conscious being, he would have most likely understood the remifications of his teachings. When he said, for example, that God and him are one, he was teaching from a non-dualistic point of view - everyone and everything is one with God, because the Relative and the Absolute are one. However, the religious leaders took it from dualistic point of view, which such claim sounded like heresy according to their law. Thus Jesus was accused of blesphemy and crucified. He knew the law, yet he continued to speak and teach, very much knowingly.

@Deep Developing of the higher states of consciousness usually follows self-realization. So yes the start is to recognize the nature of your essential being. Then the process of deepening begins. But what Rupert is pointing to is that self-realization is not out of reach for anyone. It's accessible not only to Jesus and the Budhha, but you and me, and it's a simple recognition of the nature of out own essential being. The well known enlightened teachers "didn't have a more direct access to the nature of their own minds than you and I have, they were just single-pointed about it." But I understand your concern about the spiritual ego. Perhaps further development of the higher states of consciousness could serve as to whether one's awakening was genuine to begin with.

@Key Elements I agree. Reverting to the ego self is fine. You start treating ego as a tool rather identifying with it. As you self-realize and become dis-illusioned about who/what you really are, that stays with you permanently after the shift. It doesn't mean you have to be in the state of bliss 24/7, but you abide as awareness, infinite being.

I agree. Here's a lady, Natalie Gray, who is not a spiritual teacher describing her awakening also as ordinary. After self-realization she was done seeking and stopped making YT videos...just went on with her life 'chopping wood and carrying water'... These are 2 of the 3 videos she made which I find quite insightful:

@Shin You always find the funniest clips to make a point

@Prabhaker Being ordinary is possible, it just takes courage to go against the norms and expectations of the society. But then you'd be labeled a 'weirdo'/ 'the odd one'. But you don't care cos you know you're here to live your life, not to seek approval of others What Rupert is saying, though, is that in India or other Easten countries the terms 'enlightenment'/'awakening' are laden with the cultural packaging of those contries and therefore they tend to have exotic, colorful, extraordinary associations with them. In reality, it's none of those things, but a simple recognition of the nature of our own essential being. And once you recognize your true nature is awareness, you settle into self-abidance, with the sense of lack gradually dissolving. You become ordinary.

Would be more acurate to say then - the REALIZATION of truth is gained...like, after having searched all places in the house, you realize the ring was on your finger the whole time.

Truth is gained, delusion is lost. But I have to add that a lot of people would prefer illusion over truth.

Yes. Leo did a great job guiding through one's body looking for 'self' that is nowhere to be found. What we think to be 'me' is just a thought. What we percieve to be 'ourself' (body-mind) doesn't belong to anyone. Yet the illusion of 'self' is so strong and persistent, it makes it nearly impossible for billions to see through it. And those who have seen through the illusion will tell you it's the most overlooked thing ever.

@mp22 I had my shift while doing a guided self-inquiry in this video:

@Prabhaker I see. 'Enlightenment' is just a term, a label. There are more enlightened/awakened people around than one might think (even on this site), they just won't reveal it. If you have shifted to dis-illusionment of who 'you' are (self-realization) and there is permanence to that realization, that's IT. It could happen to anyone anytime, with or without meditating even...from a yogi to a drunk on the way home from a pub. It's unpredictable, sudden, simple, yet profound. After the initial seeing, there is usually a process of deepening that can take the remainder of one's lifespan. Self-inquiry is a good way to help trigger the shift (there is logic involved in self-inquiry, btw). I had mine while doing a guided self-inquiry meditation in one of Leo's Enlightenment videos. Life just went on as usual afterwards. Before chop wood, carry water... It's also true when they say that once it happens, you just know. Peace

@Annetta Being played = being manipulated/controlled. Where is no love and care, there will be manipulation and control.

If Leo would've read this