AlwaysBeNice

Most thoughts we have are negative ego thoughts aren't they: 'What do I say, how will I come across, wasn't this stupid, what shall I do/who should I become (to be liked), what will satisfy me' etc. He said: "of any thoughts other than that of the Self.", as he says the Self is love, (practical) (conceptual) thinking can be done out of pure love too, instead of delusion. You are just as lucky

The terrifying part is only because you feel like giving up the 'you', that you carefully created as that was necessary to behave in 'approvable' ways to friends/parents/society (the ones you needed to survive as a child), seems like a really really bad idea and these fears call upon these human conditioned instincts that are generally carved deeply into the system and were responsible for much of who you taught you were. Just through desire, patience and compassion you will learn to chose loving yourself over the validation or dislikes of others or even of the idea of a judgmental God (he's so loving he'll even support you in thinking that you are not to be loved).

http://www.davidspero.org/about-david-spero He's legit

He did actually have a mystical experience he talked about. But yeah, as long as there are denial systems/negative ego, one will have a tendency to ignore and even hate spirituality.

+ 1 and still alive and can be beautifully used as an object of meditation and love

You need to understand how your mind works. All natural emotions feel good when they are not suppressed/labeled negatively. Most humans have a lot of suppressed emotions (which can all be found along the spine as chronically tight muscles that hurt when you press them as shown here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uyvhPpk04s, so check yourself, edit: better let someone else do it for you) Even fear is just a feeling of high alert. Sadness is beautiful when allowed. Anger is passionate righteousness . But your parents screwed you over, conditioned you poorly and taught you to suppress emotions. When you know that, you need to learn to accept all your emotions and accept the bodies way of releasing it, instead of panicking you can be thrilled about it, as it puts you back in the natural state. Aside from that just know that you are also beyond the body-mind as consciousness. So all the energy play is just play. So then, if you learn to really understand this, what's there to fuck up? You can't really, but people tend to underestimate their ego's defense mechanism/masks/negative traits/habits and want to deny them and become arrogant/delusional, but that's just only by their own choice, though it generally can take some years to unlearn to conditioning so patience and compassion for yourself is required. I guess one danger of psychedelics is that they may trigger so much, you rapidly transform and may need to purge things and work through things while you're still living a life as drone in society that needs to function properly so it can get it's food/shelter, but life's kind and will help you on this noble journey of becoming yourself again.

Wanting to have a superior identity is literally what the negative ego always wants, so it can appear to always be love-able because it feels it's unloved because of ignorance and as it has usually learned to suppress emotions, blocking the energy and creating (projective) masks and addictions. Now I don't know what you are, but in my view a big big trap is wanting or thinking to be enlightened when ur not, and given that's it's pretty rare and how you speak I'd say your not (and I've been in the very same spot). But contrary to what knee-jerk reaction your mind may have to this, be happy about this because it means that there is a lot more freedom and joy to be found than what you are currently experiencing, and no, one doesn't have to experience the growth as painful uncomfortable labor either. Anyways you can easily see how much suppressed emotions you have by letting someone scan the muscles along the spine that are chronically tight and that hurt when you press them as shown here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uyvhPpk04s

Go deeper, who cares? Our highest 'duty' is to become clear to ourselves, resolve all the suppressed emotions which cause the turmoil in the body mind. And then actually the need to know will fall away, as when you are absolutely happy you are too busy enjoying and loving life, being the most wise of all. As of absolute matter, there is just consciousness, and there is just manifestation, 'it just is'. It's one because it is, because it is you, are there 2 of you? What else is there to know about it? Nothing, it's the purest simplicity. So I would say watch yourself and go about the cleaning business first, terms such as 'problem' 'trap' 'fuck with us' 'insanity' and 'epistemically lost' are just left over concept shields still ingrained to not face the masks/Self that makes it feel separate. This is not an attack but advice, If I am wrong then so be it, if it offends you then you know it's true. Peace

Some people get psychotic during a 10-day vip, it happens, however, as someone who has experienced psychosis for years also brought up by meditation, spiritual info and a strong mushroom trip at 15, I can tell you it's not what we've been led to belief. It's just the ego spiraling out of control. It's when the ego structure (created fundamentally) after we've learned to suppress emotion, that is highly unaware of it's true nature as peaceful consciousness, get shaken up by life changing experiences, but instead of dropping masks, it get's so terrified and confused it wants to create more masks and ideas. It can easily be prevented in most cases by a good guide or even learning some basic real spiritual understanding, but in spirituality unfortunately many people themselves are still in the process of dropping the masks, so when someone else needs to drop em they too get uncomfortable and try to avoid it and many people still have a lack of understanding, are arrogant etc. That said, dropping into a 100 hour meditation 10 day to begin with is probably not the best idea for anyone, people tend to underestimate their amount of baggage as well, given the negative ego was designed to deny the baggage. And our attempt at medication is probably a cause as well.

Primal therapy, possibly in combination with dearmoring or pressure point massage, or maybe go to a massage therapist, also just exercise is good to get into the body and let the energy flow

I don't think it's generally a good idea to link no-lyrics songs as all songs are spiritual in a sense but the lyrics often make it relevant.. but when I was looking for simple relaxing tunes, I couldn't really find anything good but then I found this really cool concept of slowing down classical

Beautiful description of how one may use 'non-duality' to deny the world of form. The part of how that makes a specific kind of person is funny. I think it's not too uncommon that we see this mindset amongst some teachers, after all, the negative ego structure was created specifically to deny emotionally personal feelings, and so it loves superior identity, and what's better than to be 'beyond the world'? Especially since it's evens sort of true, something to watch out for.

He seems like a great guy whom has realized something profound but I feel like there are still some remnants. I've read stories of beings their realization and it's not uncommon for their path to be like: - Enlightenment experiences as a child - (devoted spiritual life >)Deep profound realization, integrated the experiences to a high degree - The complete last falling away of the ego and complete embodiment (and though it might deepen, they have been liberated of every last inch of negative conditioning) - I wouldn't be surprised if he and a lot of other teachers are at stage 2 here, whom do might think and claim or imply they are really done, kind of understandably so, but it's sloppy imo, but his teachings are pretty good.

checking actualized 5 times in 30 minutes for internet validation

The only thing that's really emotionally difficult, though it gets easier over time, is just to own the emotions, as that's what you were taught not to do. Doing physical actions that trigger emotions can be good, when you can then also easily allow them out. Some PUAs do stuff that's emotionally difficult for them for years and barely improve mentally, I remember Tyler saying that many of the experience PUAs that did cold approach for years were still afraid to approach someone. It's because the stuck energy is still held on to, they've just learned to deal with it better, which is useful to function to some extent but not a solution. So doing -doing nothing hard determination sittings- is actually one of the most emotionally difficult things to do because there's nowhere to run anymore.

It's because you are stuffed with suppressed emotions, and you had to create unnatural masks to hide them. When you stop they start to come up as they normally would, but the system is going: 'uhh, no, no no, bad bad bad, avoid!' which pulls you back and forth. So yeah, it's a sign of progress. You can diagnose how much you carry around and see that this is the case by scanning the spine for chronically tense muscles that hurt when you press them, this can also be used therapeutically. Things that I find especially helpful, aside from just going within and carefully observing and owning what you have, are learning to feel really compassionate/sorry for yourself and being in places where you are not afraid to cry or make sound.

I used to use weed 2 times a week, for doing deeper meditations and as an easy feel good. I used it as a crutch and I have no regrets having done so. As apposed to psychedelics I never felt likereally having to integrate it, maybe for new users that's different but it's really not such a hard substance imo. Oh by the way, the natural state of the body mind is perfect: Fear is just there to protect you and feels just fine if it's not suppressed and defined as wrong. Sadness is beautiful as well if it can flow (seriously) if it's not suppressed and defined as wrong. Anger is great too, it's passionate righteousness , if.. Envy is fine too, a passion for improvement, if... But we are told that our natural feelings are wrong, that we can't cry, be mad, etc. and then we suppress ourselves + create a fake unnatural identity with it and that's when the shitshow starts.

Ye, true nature is not scary. But (negative) ego structure, probably decades old that you came to identify with, that was created as a small child to censor your emotionality from your parents/surrounding, can carry deep fears with it that you are used to listening to.

Psychedelics can be fun and games, some people trip for many times and just have their fun trippyness, and you can do so if you are somewhat mature and mentaly healthy. But definitely at some point life might say: 'Oh, hey nice ego structure you've created around your traumatic emotionally suppressed youth, I'm going to break that apart by looping your ego patterns a 1000x, I'm sorry, ur saying 'NOOOOOO, NO, NOOOOO'? , too bad '

Ye, 'I don't have these suppressed feelings because I am not even real' is a common trick I think, it certainly was for me.

Going out on a bit of a limb here but what ever. Anyone here in Holland or even Europe who is mature and who has ranch or land to safely experience God and make purging sounds without being bothered? PM me and let's make a chat on skype.

From what I also understand it tends to go deeper than we tend to think, I just watched this, seems relevant