thatguy

That means it’s working.

The biggest thing that has helped me is zazen meditation. Not Buddhism, the physical practice of maintaining the posture and following the breath. If you stay with it, your "resting awareness" will begin to occupy your body as opposed to your head. You starve the part of your brain that keeps rattling on and on; therefore, thinking less. You'll also begin to detach from what thoughts you do have, so your emotional/physical reactions will lessen over time. You WILL also get stronger as a result of sitting, so EVERYTHING becomes easier, more manageable, less daunting, etc. Also, the zen walking meditation, "kinhin," complements the sitting quite well by further reinforcing the body awareness. I just had my 37th birthday last month. It was the first birthday I felt thankful and happy to celebrate since I was 4. I started sitting in January 2017. The zazen is also helping me recover from old injuries; partial ACL tear, tendinitis in wrists and elbows, bulging disk, sciatica, and the subsequent pain from physical misalignment. Will zazen cure everything? I doubt it, but it helps a whole hell of a lot. I hope you're in touch with a therapist/counselor, or at the very least in-person contact with a support group of some sort. Again, by "zazen" I mean the actual meditation posture and following the breath, none of the ceremonies/doctrine, etc. All the best to you. I've been there more times than I can remember. If I can get out of that mode of being, anyone can.