I Am That

@Cjaryo I agree with Shin, educate yourself on the topic and research how it is damaging. Thankfully there are a lot of people out there sharing their journey and reporting the many benefits of being free from consuming porn. Once you get a taste of the positive changes, it will get easier. I've been meditating for about 5 months, 15 minutes a day mostly and my 3 week break from PMO has been smooth so far.

@see_on_see I am not the nofap community in general. You seem to be getting quite carried away with that. I know it's probably hard for you, but try not to be so quick to box people in to that narrative you have running. Attachment to ego is via our psychology. It is this that shrouds our divinity. When you break damaging patterns, whatever that may be, you sever some attachment to thought forms and the dream becomes happier. Severing attachment to form is addressing the problem at the very root. For me, consuming pornography was (heavily) stimulating attachment, as proven by the immense positivity that has suddenly entered my life.

@see_on_see I never said masturbation in moderation was unhealthy. As I said, there's not too much effort involved at the moment. I am far from going crazy. I was going crazy before. Well, the root of all problems is identification with the ego mind no? So I would argue that I am addressing my problems at the root. My entire life has changed and you think i'm fooling myself? Right. You do what you want to do. If you want to watch filmed prostition, go for it.

@Vanish That's really awesome. Yoga, daily meditation, walks in nature, walks with my dog, supplements, healthy diet, exercise all couldn't cut through the thick dysfunction that had set in from my habit.

@Space Yes, i've only just started delving into the Taoist ideas on this subject. Highly curious. It would appear they have the broadest base of recorded knowledge when it comes to semen retention practice. Just from what i've read and what i've experienced after 20 days, I can feel this is a very powerful energy and well worth cultivating. Staying on track so far has been mostly effortless. @eskwire For sure. I think the main problem was that it became an identity for me and that's why it was so hard to track down and dismantle it. But of course there is also the troubling issue of the pornografication of modern society. As I mentioned in my original post, even my psychologist encouraged me that masturbating to porn was "fine." Now I realise deeply, it's not fucking fine at all and I plan on giving him a call about that. All these actors in porn clips are coming from trauma, a deeply unfulfilled life and it's basically filmed prostitution. Something that struck me to the core last night was that i'm pretty sure the baggage and energy of those people carries through the screen and you take on some of their energy, their pain. Or so the mushroom tells me anyway.

@Lorcan Jesus dude. What exactly are you doing after your shower? Wrestling fucking crocodiles? Sounds an awful lot like the ego at work here- never satisfied, always wanting something else. Maybe try doing less, not more.

There's quite a bit of talk about it here.. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/heres-why-nofap-is-essential-for-spiritual-growth.40561/ Also, maybe look into this book.. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/196327.The_Tao_of_Sexology

@RossE Wow. That's really great you had that outcome from just 1.5g and your first time. I bit off more than I could chew with my second last trip with 4.5g of dried Subaeruginosas with OJ. As someone else noted, it didn't become horrific until at least the second hour and I recall my body being physically sprawled out in the most fucked up, twisted way on my bed and feeling humanity's pain, from a masculine perspective, sitting in the pit of my stomach like an iron bowling ball. I don't know why, but Hitler's pain comes to mind. I have a female friend who has also had a couple of very intense encounters with the collective pain body on Ayahuasca and have definitely heard it mentioned in online trip reports. This was more or less beyond the point from which I could work with without falling into a full psychotic delusion. I ended up resorting to having a temazepam tablet to avoid doing any real damage. I don't let shit like that faze me too much though, as it's indicative of much more work to be done. I felt truly skull fucked the next day, and had some residual anxiety that lasted for two days, but two weeks later I tried an Ayahuasca analog with mushrooms. That went swimmingly! ?

Melbourne, Australia. Noble Park.

@JustinS Given the very high percentage of carbohydrates consumed, it's a diet basically suited to someone who is very active/is an athlete and actually has the time to eat that amount of bulk. Also, it would pay to consider that humans evolved on cooked food- this is a raw vegan diet. There are people all over the web who swear by it, but what works for someone else, may not work for you. You could always just try eating 10+ bananas a day. I can't say I found it very fun at all. Eating that amount of raw food can actually be quite challenging for your digestion and you'll likely discover you can never feel full eating this way.

@Alexanderryen Psilohuasca is indeed potent, but I wouldn't follow what he suggests on that webpage in regards to swallowing the seeds whole. Seeds have a very tough exterior shell and are basically indigestible- this is how they are designed. Swallowing the seeds whole is a very inefficient way to get Harmaline in your system. I have done it quite a few times and never had too much trouble getting powdered rue/peganum harmala seeds down with orange juice. Now though, just thinking about the smell and taste sends a fucking shiver down my spine. If you have time on your hands, capping powdered rue in vege caps is easiest method to get it down. However, this will still very likely create nausea. I have ditched playing around with rue completely for the time being simply because the nausea can be quite challenging, especially when used with acacia root bark. 3-4g of straight psilocycbe mushrooms, powdered and shaken up well in orange juice should give you very little nausea and will usually start to take effect very quickly- 15-20 minutes. Yeah, do not underestimate rue though. 3g rue and 3g of mushrooms was one of the most hellish experiences of my life.

@Don_Avocado Yes, likely the issue as continuous sniffing will encourange the product to end up in your throat. The blood vessels in your mucous membranes are very close to the surface, so ideally you want to keep it there. Gently is the way. It may also pay to fill a neddleless syringe with luke warm salty water to flush your nose out after the experience is over to avoid any possible infections. Great read btw.

@Richard Alpert Your best bet would be to just start experimenting mate. If you can go from eating meat straight to vegan, that's awesome, but what works for you will take you some time to settle on. Not getting enough calories is a very real concern, especially as an active male. Eating raw vegan requires a lot of time to eat, a lot of people overlook that. Do you have that much time to devote to eating? Then there's the fact that raw plant foods are generally very fast digesting so you will likely be hungry often. Karoline has given some good links to check out, but you will also need to investigate this with your lifestyle in mind. I'm relatively active and for myself, a HCLF diet just doesn't suit. I can sit for one hour and smash 1kg of beans and veg and still not be satiated. I need fat to remain sane and that's why I ALWAYS have tahini in my cupboard.

@pluto Thanks for sharing those. I'm somewhat skeptical of his claims from a thermogenic perspective, but I'll look into those pdfs. @Thomas Sounds like your gran is experiencing some pretty savage metabolic damage bro

@jes Your digestion isn't in full swing as soon as you rise so it's best to keep it somewhat light and nothing too cold IMO. If you're having a smoothie, make sure it isn't ice cold! You can't go too wrong with warmed rolled oats and blueberries/acid fruits. Oats are cheap as hell too which makes them a no brainer. Berries can be expensive but if you buy 1kg frozen bags it won't be too hard on the wallet. My breakfast usually consists of plain pot set yogurt with kiwi fruit and pumpkin seeds.

Yeah, I was a bit disappointed with this video. I've realised his content seems to be aimed at a younger crowd and I struggle to take him seriously anymore. Bitcoins are a pain in the arse.

Yeah, this is why I brought it up. It can be dangerous. I can't imagine anyone wanting to have spontaneous seizures occuring in their life. This can happen with heavy use of psychedelics. After smoking DMT and experimenting with Acacia bark I can feel that I have broken down some of that boundary between waking consciousness and the subconscious, as I can even experience closed eye visuals on something like codeine or no drugs at all.

The best method is action and there's no time like the present. It may feel totally wrong at first, but just start to sell and/or recycle your possessions that no longer serve you. Pack a bag full of clothes you can live without, go out into the city and pass them on to a homeless person. I know entheogens are the flavour of the month around here and I'm sure some folk are getting sick of hearing about them, but a recent difficult experience with an ayahuasca analog allowed me a broader perspective in regards to my materialistic side and the message was pretty clear- it was to reduce my possessions and greatly moderate consumption. Actually the message was a bit more harsh than that, as I was in a borderline psychotic state. I think for some people there are emotions invested in their possessions, so it would seem that holding onto these possessions is refusing to face a part of themselves. Anyway, that's just my take. All the best.

This is actually not unique to 5-meo. I have heard people who are 20+ aya ceremonies deep speak of this occurence. The line between waking consciousness and the subconscious becomes blurred and visions come and go as they please. I would expect this experience to be not only maddening, but also dangerous, as you have little to no idea when a vision will appear and cause incapacitation.

The Campfire Headphase album by Boards of Canada is one to check out. And this..

I think you just need to chip away at it. Don't rush it. Working with an appropriate dosage is important! I know that exact feeling of suffering due to a psilohuasca trip earlier in the year and an Acacia bark trip about a month ago. The pain was immeasurable. The only relief comes from knowing you can kill yourself or pop a benzodiazepine, if you have prepared well. Diazepam rescued me from my psychotic psilohuasca trip. It's all well and good for folk to say, just let go man. You can't. That's the issue, you're not ready to let go. I am in the same boat here. So what I'm doing is working towards disassociating from the illusion. Cut out all the unnecessary shit in your life and address your psychology. IMO Jumping to higher doses to "skip" straight to ego death is very risky and I would not suggest it. PTSD is not worth it.