PretentiousHuman

Day 20: Tired as fuck as I went to an overthinking again, ruminating about my ex Lover. I’m the only one making it hard for my self in moving on. Or am i just unaware of the things I’m doing for my self. I think i need some help now.

Day 19-B: I have a wonderful day. I got to the gym, watched the Thor, and again used Social Medias. I think it’s a tool where you can connect with people but it should be also use in moderation. I’m inspired now to read Nursing books as it will make me a better nurse and can use it once i’ve been at USA. I hope that all is well.

Day 19: It’s been days since I have journaled because I forgot to do it. Anyways, I have planned 100% of working and living at USA as a nurse. I’m from the Philippines and it’s my ultimate dream to live at USA. I’m at the process of healing now from my past relationship and I’m beginning to, once again reading some NCLEX materials for my exam. Will be disciplined now more than ever. ❤️❤️❤️

Day 18-B: A day without purpose. I just watch some movies and chilled. Time to sleep. Night!

Day 18-B: Photo of me and my favorite tattoo artist. ???

Day 18: Last night was an overthinking slumber. I fucking watch porn, fapped browsed social media. But I still managed to read journaled. I’m on my way to healing. ❤️❤️❤️

Day 17-B: Today was very tiring. I still have some symptoms from Crohn’s Diseases like diarrhea and abdominal pain but will try alternative ways of controlling it. I will try intermittent fasting again tomorrow.

Day 17: 1st day of catching all of my dreams. Let’s get it. Thank you Lord. ??????

Day-16B: I am so stoked. I already have the tatoos that i wanted. ?????? Goodnight.

Day 16: I was finished with my workout and it made me feel good. I will practice good sleeping habits too. I’m going later to the tattoo shop and i will have a forearm sleeve.

Day 15-B: Very happy to have my tattoos today and tomorrow would be the 2nd session and I’m getting a La Muerta Tattoo. Goodnight.

Day 15: I’m very happy. I will get some tattoos today.

Day 14-D: I’m gonna have my last tattoos tomorrow and I’m excited. I’m a nurse and there’s still a stigma that when you have tattoos, you’re perceived as a criminal, not accepted citizen, etc. I love myself now having tattoos more than ever as a personal choice or for personal development. My tattoos give me strength as well. And I don’t care now how people see me, I’m still in love with my self. Tomorrow would also be the birthday of my past lover, I won’t greet her, for the reason that i don’t want to reconnect with her anymore and I don’t want to expect anything from her anymore.

Day 14-C: I’m not going to go to any party anymore.

Day 14-B: I talked to a friend today that was related to the woman that i loved before. I told him that i am moving on and it is making me better.

Day 14: I had 6 hours of sleep and i was very thankful. Though i am still sleepy, i will be sleeping most of my free time now. My addiction to Social Medias should be lowered from now on. And the Screen Time from iOS is very effective. Grateful for Leo in all of his works. I’m getting better and I’m healing.

Day 13-B: I got so fucking tired at my duty. I’m a nurse and working in a government hospital here at Philippines is very tiring. I don’t know if I’m going to wait applying for US or just expedite going to abroad via UK because the latter is faster than going USA. I just have to manage my expectations with my self and be more forgiving with myself and other people. You can do it. I believe in you. Thank you Leo.

Day 13: I only got 5 hours plus sleep again. I will sleep earlier this evening after my duty. I don’t have the headache and dizziness i often experience. But the ringing of ears don’t usually go away. Lack of sleep is my number 1 issue. I will address this moving forward. I’m grateful that i have a job i like and being able to live the life i always wanted.

Day 12-B: Good things happened today as i got to the gym, eat delicious foods, had some pedicure, been myself. I won’t be worried on the things that is not good to me anymore. I will always believe in my self. I will just take things as they are and be grateful for everything that is happening to me.

Day 12: The day was rough as i am having diarrhea again because of my Crohn’s disease and it was aggravated because of drinking mindlessly last night. Will ghost people now. Will not explain if they would ask me or insist that they need or want me to go to their party. I have a lot of things to do and should prioritize it as soon as possible. But i also need to balance life in a heathy way.

Day 11-B: Will sleep now. Don’t like to socialize anymore. I would like to focus on the things that matter now.

Day 11: Woke up with a terrible headache and ringing of the ear. I will take a nap later. I will search on how to improve hearing later. Me and my sister will go to the gym now. See you around. ?

Day 10-B: This day was very fulfilling. I have forgiven the woman who doesn’t love me back. I had a grand time at work and had an unwind beer session post duty. I have a Best friend who is a gay that listens to me and vice versa as well. I’m thankful that we are getting along. God bless all of our friends who wants only what’s the best for us. And since i went from being a heart broken guy, i planned of not having any relationship for at least 1 year. I declined to be in love with any attractive woman around me. Focusing on my own growth is my utmost priority.

Day 10: I have improve from sleeping 5 hours to 6 hours since yesterday. I will be mindful of eating this night so I won’t binge on eating unhealthy foods. And I won’t dwell too much on negative emotions.

Day 9: I still think of her but less often now. I thank God that i have a job because it gives me freedom to what i need and want. I will sleep now hoping that it will be before midnight. I have screen limit most of my Social Media Apps. I need to execute it. I need to discipline my self to foods as well so that i will have a better mood.