alea

You know, instant gratifications kill your senses, instead, give you addictions. Your old libido could be an addiction, unnecessary, not real. With a diet/intermittent fasting your body may be becoming more natural.

You may have lost an unnecessary libido, and will gain the real one.

Day 33, I've lost weight without diet. Active lifestyle can cause it.

I used to be an infp, after 5 years I became istj, logistician..

@Shin thank you for the reply. I totally agree with you, she was a big source of dopamine. But, I like quality friendships and family. Sorry, I don't have meditation practice, let's move to nofap.

Day 20, extremely sad, stressed; sadness of a break up(long and serious relationship) / stress of some annoying things. I abstain from women, stick to some good habits(exercise, studying, socialise, psychotherapy etc.) but life has no meaning now. I think I depleted all dopamine in my brain

Day 20, extremely sad, stressed; sadness of a break up(long and serious relationship) / stress of some annoying things. I abstain from women, stick to some good habits(exercise, studying, socialise, psychotherapy etc.) but life has no meaning now. I think I depleted all dopamine in my brain

I think we have some coping mechanisms in order to cope with tension and stress/or some real life problems. For example, some people overeat, some become shy, some people become a workaholic, hypermasculine etc. Therefore, we have balance in our lives, and think "it's our nature"(overeating, shyness etc). But our brains don't agree with us and we have some conflicts between our acts and thoughts. You may choose to play safe rather than struggle, being friends with girls, masturbation, meditation etc. They are all safe and no tension. But they are not real at the same time, maybe that is why you have confusion. If you go out with baby steps and discover the nature, you may like it. I don't know.

@Good-boy You were happy being in a relationship and kept silent. You avoided conflict and your needs. You may have not been aware of the situation. But your inner world understood this toxic relationship and you lost your motivation. So, she said "You don't love me anymore."

Did you tell anything while she was talking about her career or praising herself?

@floresflowerscgf I had social isolation in my childhood and you exposed boyish things. I started with baby steps to change this pattern. It calls cognitive behavioural therapy. I also embraced my personality. You know, understanding of men better has an advantage in your life.

@disconnected There could be other problems, rather than alpha behaviours. For example money. You know these things better. I never understand relationship issues. I was happy with her, I had plans for the future etc. But everything is collapsed now. I tried talking but it didn't worked, so there is a silence now and I am sad. I am in between giving up and trying to convince her. Besides that, some relationships are toxic. Extrovert and introvert, pleaser/fixer and narcissist etc. There is a magnetic pull between them. You know, you can try other psychologists and see what happens. I search some names on the internet and considered their backgrounds. Finally, I picked up two of them. You may lose some money, but it may be a good investment. Take care.

Dear disconnected, I reread your posts again. You wrote, "I've been doing a lot of mistakes." and you repeated 2-3 times, "I did mistake"; then you want to improve. So I thought, "what was her mistake?" I think a relationship should involve our strong and weak parts. You know, in a marriage they promise, "I will be always your side in good and bad times". My father got sick and lost his ability to walk after 10 years of his sickness. My mother didn't divorce him. She has financial freedom too. I never claim divorce is bad or they are perfect couple, in fact they have a lot of 'mistakes. Anyway, I mean love is unconditional. I want to say, you were her man for 5 years, not her friend hanging out with. What are your needs, what do you want in a relationship? Can you tell her openly: "Look, I'm sick of your back and forth!" In a book called "no more nice guy" says: "Talking about your needs doesn't mean you're needy" For my story, I went to psychologist, we spent 1 hour 45 minutes. He is in his forties and has 3 children. I have been impressed by his approach, he gave some valuable information about my personality and past life. I'm still sceptical about psychologists, I hope he helps me to see my weakness besides making me feel good. I will continue the therapy. Yes, we are perfectly imperfect creatures. Keep improving.

If I were you, I would hang out with girls as much as possible. I would avoid being (close) friend with men by no means. You are female, it is your nature. Didn't you play with girls at school, in your neighbourhood or in relatives. And in my opinion, close friendship needs time and trust.

Thank you to share your story. My fiance left me last week and said you don't have independence thinking, you need others opinion (watching YouTube videos). Of course, she has other critics on me. Maybe we play safe and girls don't feel secure with us. I want to stop being coward. I will be more open to her (maybe it is too late). Instead of unauthorised youtubers I am going to see a psychologist, maybe a psychiatrist. Actually, I just want to rely on myself. We are good enough, should we blame girls like they do us...

Many thanks for the replies, I learned a lot from your messages. I hope I will be able to stick to them and break those bad habits. I would like to train myself to eat healthier.

Hello everyone, I am 35 and my BMI is 26.5, due to this I am overweight. It should be 24 something. It means I need to lose approximately 20 pounds. I work in an office (sedentary lifestyle), but I go to the gym 2-3 times a week. I have tracked my nutrition for 21 days. According to that, the main problem is size of my portions and carbohydrates consumption (bread, pizza etc) . I don't eat junk foods. I used to eat much meat, but reduced it and increased vegetables, My fruit consumption is okay. I don't crave for sweets, never. I also record my stress level, and there is some correlation between eating and stress. My meals are based on bread and I eat too much. I am looking for a sustainable solution. I need a good nutrition habit (as Leo adviced). But I feel hungry, I need calories

If you are craving bread, it can be a symptom of Vitamin-B deficiency.

Pause video and take notes, but it will be time consuming and a bit boring. I think there is no easy way to do, like everything in life. If you want to lose weight, you should go gym and on a diet. The problem is do you really want to do that? For example, if I paid you big for your notes, you would take notes without frusturation. Is it worth it?

It seems you suffer from procrastination. If you take it easy, slow down, you can see you accomplish more in life. You can see meaningless and meaning of life (or accomplishment). Propably you are not happy or in peace, so you are anxious, you are always in search of somethings. You know, peace comes from inside, you need this in order to deal with advanced issues or to survive. It is very simple for me, having a healthy sleep, chatting with a friend or family member, some fresh air, a delicious meal...

How do you describe "loser" ? What means loser? Why do you label yourself as a loser? Let's assume you are not a loser, how would you describe yourself now? What would change in you? These questions can help you.

A stoaic philospher said that you can't be master of all fields. I think we should learn to give up. Yes, if you give up exercise you will lose its benefits, but you should accept, it, take responsibility of your decision. Everyone is different, every time is different, maybe you have more crucial things than "exercise" that you should focus on now. Maybe your personality tends to other things such as arts, science, friendship etc.

First, read this book: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, then interact with people and real life.

You can replace the word "consciousness work" with a religion. A preacher can say that the only truth is "X religion", all others are distractions. I think we try to put those distractions in our life proportionally; career, money, family, friendship, science, consciousness work etc.

@Damir Elezi You may take it too seriously. What would happen if you worked 8 hours a day or zero? What would change if you became a famous musician or a loser? First of all, accept and forgive yourself, love yourself. Enjoy the life. If you want to be a musician you need to work hard, maybe 8 hours a day, but also your body (you) need other things; spending time with friends, intimacy, jokes, rest, sleep, hug etc. You are not a machine. And porn really drains you, you don't feel like do anything. It is a very bad addiction, break this habit. brainbuddy application can help you.