kurt

It's ok, you are not going to lose anything of value. In fact, there is everything to be gained from understanding who you really are. Trust me, if happiness, love and peace is what you want, then understanding that you are just a notion, a thought appearing in you is going to reveal that life is already full of happiness, love and peace because you already are those things. All you need to do is understand that the clinging onto this identity you think must be you is what is stopping you seeing what already is Yes. The fact that you think there is something else 'out there' that is going to finally complete you or make any difference to your life, is an illusion. This is the trap you are trying to free yourself from by bringing yourself to a place like this, becoming interested in things like enlightenment, truth, happiness. It's a conflict inside, because you know what is right - that you are already full, but there is a nagging thought based on your conditioning and the erroneous belief that you have unwittingly bought into all your life: that you need to do xy or z in order to find that completeness. Just the fact that you are aware of this inner conflict is great! Accept it as it is and let it dissolve in the light of seeing the futility of your pursuits - logically you should know by now that worldly pursuit is not a permanent solution to the problem. See if you can let it go naturally. It will dissolve when you understand the futility of the chase. It may return, keep inquiring into it and eventually it will pass. No, there is no going back because you know too much already. Again, you are trying to liberate yourself, you have always been trying to liberate yourself, but this time you know you have the right means. It's the ego that feels empty and at a loss for purpose and meaning, not you. There is no purpose and meaning in life except what the ego makes of life. If you can see the value in letting go of all value and see what is left behind, I assure you that you will see your egos search for "meaning and purpose" quite shallow and irrelevant compared to being who you truly are.

Not for the qualified. No. To qualify you need to work out your desires, otherwise its not going to work. Why do you think theres so many people here looking for "enlightenment experiences" through drugs? Nice guys, mature guys, but still non the wiser about enlightenment. Because people still think enlightenment is some kind of happening,even if we know on the surface it isnt, Its all subconscious drives, and those need to come to the surface and be understood properly. If your body is driving you toward certain things then its clear the subconscious is still not done with you. Ramana was super qualified, but people like that are rare.

Youre identified with the desires, which means your A) personalizing them and B) making them wrong. I'm assuming they are getting out of hand and this is why you're asking the question? I'm not sure what happened, but maybe some 'spiritual' literature misinformed you about the nature of desire. Desire is caused by ignorance (not knowing who you are), so desire and thinking is not the problem, ignorance is the problem. Just accept that you are a (20 something?) male and it's natural. These desires don't belong to you, so why you are personalizing them I don't really know. They were given to you for a purpose. Being spiritual or enlightened is not about quelling desire, it's about going out and working out these desires in life and acting on them. When you are ready you will eventually see the zero sum nature of them (that the objects you are desiring don't actually contain lasting satisfaction) and with that realization will come a readiness to convert your desire to experience more into a desire to understand yourself. However, you can't escape it,you have been programmed to do a job here and you wont be ready for self knowledge until you have "been there, bought the t-shirt". There is no spiritual bypass.

If you think about it, the only reason people go for success is for the feeling of happiness, or at least the freedom from feeling of limitation. So its all the same, ones conscious and one is unconscious. All of us just want to be happy

I don't see anything wrong with that, that's what some sex is, sometimes we want to be used and be a user. Sometimes we want to bash it out because the missus has a headache. It's all fine, what's the problem here?

Nobody is selfless, there are only different degrees of selfishness. If were performing selfless acts to reduce suffering then were still doing it for ourselves. That's the difference between dharma and adharma, dharma is just action for the benefit of the total, this includes ones self.

@Lorcan Passivity means taking a step back and not reacting emotionally but being internally accepting of what is happening. For example, if somebody causes you harm the stoic response is to hold back, accept the situation and think about it first, rather than be manipulated into reacting immediately. So when you spend time contemplating others ignorant behaviour while consulting the rest of your values - tolerance, understanding, careful analysis, non-injury, compassion, forbearance etc. etc. it is impossible that you will respond (if a response from you is appropriate) in a harmful way that will bring yours and their self image and reputation into question. If you resist it and then react, you internalize their actions and then condition yourself to react to injury and this will be an action that will be out of alignment with your values.** If your actions don't match your values you have created a dichotomy of dooer vs. knower and they are are odds with each other. The result is inner conflict and agitation = suffering ** When you judge another person and avoid them you create a victim mentality and this clouds every experience. Resistance means internalizing. So don't internalize, instead keep a clear mind so that you have the ability to approach the person with a response. Sometimes if you don't respond to the person you internalize their ignorant behaviours. Avoiding another person because you judged the person rather than their behaviour is a form of mutual injury, because you are communicating to them and yourself that something is wrong with both of you. Address the behaviour, not the person. Only children develop "hurt feelings" in response to what other people say and do, as an adult you should not let this happen. Respond, don't react. You ideally want to be assimilating every experience as it happens in the moment, and this means not harbouring judgements about a person, but responding to them in real time as they appear to you. The dick can be a saint, all people have an opposite side to them, so to remain free is to remain in contact with the situation rather than clouded by prejudice.

@BeginnerActualizer If you can afford one, the Nintendo Wii Fit has a really good yoga programme. I don't know how much these cost now, I've had mine for a few years, so the price might have gone up considerably? * And of course Yoga Vidya is a very good free yoga channel on youtube

No comment lol

You're on the right track in my opinion. The virtues are values that you should assimilate and use to interpret your experience, because you have control over these values, but you don't have much control over your experiences. As long as you understand that these are values to aim for and not a substitute for the person you are, that these values also have a downside (think about what that might be) therefore if you take these two factors into account then suffering should be minimal. Just to be clear try to investigate what passivity actually means, because it's not just taking flack from whoever, its actually responding to flack, doing what your desires drive you to do, but letting go of the results. If people want to take you for a ride then passivity means you respond appropriately while consulting the rest of your values - dont just sit and be a doormat - as long as your number one value is non-injury and you do everything in that spirit then all your responses will be fine, and if the results are not what you hoped for you are still fine because your intention was honourable. You can't do anymore than that!

Your thoughts and feelings have no power over you, its all about how you interpret these feelings. They are interpreted by your values. If you interpret them as a problem to be fixed then they will disturb you. That is how to disidentify from them, they are not your thoughts, they are the thoughts of the collective that you have chosen to make your own. So you have a values problem, and a control problem. You cannot change something that is, but you can change your relationship to it.

I'd rather be successful at being happy

Don't worry, you wont go insane lol. You dont have to do all of it, you can go out for a walk and do normal things, they dont force it on you. As long as youre not disturbing others youre fine. The worst bit is the boredom. Do it and enjoy it is my advice, it wont kill you

I agree, it's not really a beginners thing. They allow beginners when I did it, but their "beginners course" was for those who want to take their existing meditation up a notch. There were people there who were on one year retreats. The looked like zombies lol

@Jared Gregory Thank you I would like to say that there was nothing to forgive her for, because she did nothing wrong. The only thing that was lacking was your expectation that any of this is permanent. Which is in itself is innocent. What a beautiful way to see things, and freedom from all object expectation. Cheers!

@Kserkkj Consciousness is not an object, it is the real part of you. It cannot be changed. Only objects are subject to change and therefore "unreal" Enlightenment is not a state, it's knowledge that you are not the objects, but the objects are not separate from you (non-duality). Everything is already non dual, therefore it is not changing, it is only apparently changing. So no, the development of consciousness is another illusion.

@Ray I did vipassana for ages, it is really hard work, and not something I would do again. When I began understand the teachings it turned me off, because most of it is indirect and just made up quite frankly lol. It's not knowledge, it's mostly a philosophy. You will find vipassana was one technique robbed from another religion, and it was only meant to focus the mind for a few moments as part of a more comprehensive meditation technique. Anyway, Each to their own!

You cant fix low self worth because there is nothing wrong with you in the first place. So, no need to buy into the paradigm youre sold by society and psychology that there is something to fix. All you need to do is be with the feeling and go towards compassion, then you will understand.

No, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. I think my actual approach was an invitation for radical acceptance. Don't worry, my wording was probably not helpful. You're halfway there, you have some knowledge of the truth, but you dont see at this point that "self worth" is still another object to chase and has a zero sum nature. Anyway, Good work

I don't know who I am And that is not a problem, its a relief. Im free of trying to stabilize the person, or make him into something concrete. It's not real, it's only apparent. The part of me that is real and never changes can surely only be the knowing. The only thing I know for certain is the only part of me that does not change is the knowing of what does change, and I will never know what the knowing is, I can only know that I exist because if I did not exist then how would I know anything? I am self revealing, but the things never revealed anything, all they did was change all the time, caused me a lot of anxiety. But not anymore

I would take the stand against it and really have a word with yourself - I can tell you now that this is not true, because I had the same problem and it's just down to what you feed your mind with. Horror films? Fantasy films? Conspiracy theories? All those things have a considerable impact on your experience. Take the hard approach on yourself and chastise the stupidness of these ideas. I advise to stop consuming those kinds of things from now on.

Thanks for this

Cool post! I'm only going to make a couple of points 'cos the wife is nagging me to get off the computer, I may return to this later tho'. It's correct that through Buddhism / Vipassana it may take you a while to reach what they consider enlightenment, because it's mostly karmic and action based. They believe the mind and the person is the problem, so they seek to rid you of the mind to get established in what they believe to be reality. All paths don't make the same assumptions. It's entirely possible to establish yourself as non-dual awareness (which really just means you still experience life as a duality but your belief in duality has gone) within as little as two years using a more "direct-path" as long as you have the qualities of mind to do it. Which brings me to your next point, no, there is no way to establish your experience in non dual awareness, because experience only gives your mind cause to break the belief in duality. Thats all the experiences can do. Education is the main factor, and making sure the mind is still enough to be able to inquire on a moment to moment basis. The dope is not needed, but im sure it can help with dropping the illusion of time/space that the mind projects. Cheers!

Well, yes, enlightenment means you know you are the essence of goodness itself, so why would there be any reason to "do" good? All that is required is not to break the rules, because any enlightened person knows that all harm is only self harm. Plus like I said, there is nothing to be lost or gained in compassion or non compassion. The notions we have about enlightened masters being saints (I understand) is mainly a projection.

I agree. Love and hate are closely linked. Enlightened people can get upset at people who break universal values continually without regard. Its a completely different matter for most of us who are just prone to mistakes and generally want to do the right thing. I dont think any truly enlightened person would harm another, yet they do feel hate for certain ideas. The hate however is not binding, and therefore they can chose whether or not to act on it. Christ in the temple marketplace on the passover festival? Sometimes compassion can be sickly, egotistical and fake, and anybody who thinks they are helping others through compassion is probably not enlightened and just playing the enlightenment card. Ideas of healing or enlightening the world springs to mind. The facts are from our historical observation is that the world is and always be a mixture of dharmic and adharmic intentions and effects. Most of the enlightened people that have been around have been genuine teachers that have brought a certain amount of balance to the world, but none of them came here to save it, just re-establish dharma through teaching. Which is why I personally believe its important to get a thorough education on what enlightenment is, as part of the journey is to be able to spot a fake and not get pulled into their self serving bullshit. "It is only in the land of the blind that the one eyed man is king"