Sevi

AHHAHHAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Shir yes, vulnerability is something important to take into consideration to decide what actions to take. Especially female energy is a sensitive form which is made of a delicate substance, so that you wanna protect it the right way and keep yourself balanced; but already you seem knowing yourself well enough, -that's what matters the most- especially in such very private subjects. It's essential to take your time to clear your mind and to see clearly where you stand. I'd like to say, to work on differing the social judgements, social conditionings from our inner-selves and also to see our inner judgments about ourselves and life would be a very liberating act. (For example, to believe that you are vulnerable -or that much vulnerable- might cause you to not to take actions while some part of you is willing otherwise, it would be smart to detect if it is just a inner judgment of yourself or not) Lastly.. if there are heart breaks and disappointments.. that might mean that maybe you were on the look of the things you hold dear to your heart appear in life the way 'you' designed in your mind.. then the picture, pictures you saw was not an exact match to that.. so the difference, a dissatisfied expectation creates those reactions to whatever is in front of us. mindfulness practices are such wonderful tools to enjoy life deeply for what it is, and how it appears itself before your eyes:) then it gets easier to understand people, where they come from thus to love them just because.. Actually when you start to experience to really love the 'other', there is actually not any heart breaks my dear. But it takes a little time.. Wishing you all the best❤

@Shir my situation is quite similar to yours. I had 2 boyfriends but I didn't have sex before marriage and I'm not a religious person either. I understand where you're coming from. I would say rather than defining your desire as marriage, it would be a better fit to express it as a meaningful long term relationship where you and your partner have mutual comfort and commitment in it. You need to consider that a man's needs and expectations from a long lasting relationship naturally will have differences than yours. You want your very personal choices and wishes be accepted and embraced by a man, which is a very understandable desire. But on the other hand, have you educated yourself well enough to understand a man's deep manly desires and fears and ready to welcome them yourself? What you are asking is quite unique and I honestly believe that which is possible but it's not a one way highway. You might be creating a lot of pressure on the topic by expecting things to happen only in the the way you designed in your mind. It can be more comforting for you to be open to the universe, meaning, things can happen in a different format. You can easily see if someone values you as a person and a woman, when they try their best and if it doesn't work, it would be unfair to say they used you. I think it's about building the mutual trust along the way with the other party, by putting aside all the judgements and assumptions; and being truly open to communicate and be willing to be vulnerable... the more we try to protect ourselves from being hurt, the more we fall apart from being in deep intimate relationships.

You gotta manage 2 things: their image in your mind and your emotional reactions to that. 1) you picture them as humans thus your expectations from them goes into that category. Picture them as Pavlov's dogs; living organisms between human and animal. Your expectations will drop immensely. That'll comfort your mind. 2) when their perceived image in your mind shifts your emotional reactions arising will subside. We like to attribute beautiful, nice, high quality, high consciousness manners to the ones around us, this is a somewhat natural tendency. The fact is that heavy conditionings dull humans' real abilities. When you are off the hook of that hindering, it becomes difficult to accept the ones cannot. Also our hearts ache to see it on people, especially if they are someone we care. This creates that tension in us. When it's a Pavlov's dog, it's a Pavlov's dog. If you try to behave in a different range than their adjusted perception window, you'll upset yourself. They just don't know the languages you speak. Just speak theirs to them.

I was just thinking about this today actually, I like the idea. This way, forum can get the chance to actualize itself I was thinking about a sub-forum to improve some futuristic concepts where we can construct parts of it slowly in time, without rushing. So I'm talking about a sub-forum which remains major important matters which require time, effort and thinking. There was an excellent topic about: what kind of jobs possibly can be built in society or something. Such a topic can be improved step by step and those collective ideas and shares might help the society to evolve or produce some new values. I even didn't get the chance to contemplate and put my ideas together about it; the topic moved away. Or there was one this topic, almost 6-7 months ago: a question about Jesus, Leo and the precession cycle of the Earth (which is a cycle of 26000 years) where because of this cycle, the future North Star will be Vega, instead of Polaris. (Every 2000 years of that cycle comes across with a representation of a shift in the collective consciousness) I want to write about this for example, but I couldn't find that topic again. That topic for me, was a good one that should have had a different time frame/sub-forum than others. I'm suggesting this type of sub-forum only because to write down about such things requires time. It's not like you just put down what you think at that particular moment under a title. Ahah! I didn't know I was this loaded about this subject:)) * by the way guys if you can link that thread for me, that was a user name of 'cengis han' and was about comparison between appearance of Jesus, and -I think- Leo in terms of precession cycle.

@Shin

❤

Very well said @Emerald , I completely agree with that.

That makes already a life mission right there..

I know John Gray's book. That's a very common feminine misuse in women. As design women have this natural tendency to sense and fulfil others' needs and taking care of others. This is a very important, sensitive topic. Because when women misunderstand this natural tendency within them thus misuse it, all of the society suffers from it. In order to be able to feed others, first you need to learn to take care of 'yourself' first: emotionally, mentally, physically then you are an asset to someone else. For example, as in Gray's book, in order to create intimacy in a relationship, women leave almost their all existence out then -expectedly- they become extremely hungry thus emotionally imbalanced: depressed, sad, unhappy.. then it reflects itself onto their offspring and families, the children start to feel responsible and guilty then it creates a whole cycle. By just one simple mistake of not to take their own needs to account and not giving their attention to themselves when necessary.

Yes dear, I understood that, I've just found the time to write you back. First of all helping others and giving only makes you an exquisite high quality person. Our society -almost every society in the world today- is emotionally unhealthy. Because that sets the tone, it is so easy to get confused and doubting your nice manners. Since we can not heal such situation over a night, of course we need to build some skills to deal with this reality and learn how not to get infected by it while protecting our delicate gifts. A tall order already:) but it's not impossible either. A giving man, a helping leader is always attractive. So then, what is it that might cause this inferiority-superiority thing? (Of course follower's awareness is a huge important factor here, which I said above, there are a lot of emotionally crippled people around) but other than that, it's the motion of your attention, as a man/giver/leader. What I mean by that? When you love, when you wanna give, or help; those are all selfless acts. And also they perfectly may lead the executor(lover/giver) to be so lost in the other's existence. Generally that's the moment when the conditions of physical existence kick in: either your ego calls you back(because your attention is far beyond away from its needs; which is completely normal and healthy) or the other's ego -depending on it's health- starts to interpret the situation in a twisted way. But you should be careful here, the other person might be deeply appreciating you and just being an observant: you might also get into the trap of misunderstanding the other: because if you leave your center that long (the outward motion of your attention; not your help or whatever the thing you are giving) your ego will be hungry. Ego is not a bad word here. It more means your inner-self. Can you follow? It's not you giving and becoming unattractive, it is your attention fully leaves your center, then now to fill in that gap you are asking something in return; but nothing can feel that void in a such case because it is this empty cave which only belongs to its own lion: your own attention. So it's all about building the ability to stay grounded and centered while sharing your very exquisite gift: giving. So that, you can also protect your own emotional health which is one of the most rare qualities in our time. But of course scarcity might take you over from your past: to be used, to be a push over, not respected or appreciated.. but it'll only happen if the other party is sick. But be careful here: because some sick, low-conscious person did you wrong in the past don't accuse an -mostly likely-innocent, unrelated person. Does this make sense for you or am I confusing you?

I'm competing in ballroom dancing, and in my work our students from very different age groups are competing too. I perceive it as psychedelics. If you are conscious enough about what you are doing and what for you are doing it, and you know the doses well, then it can be acceptable; but still there is this risk of damaging yourself - I'm not talking about physicality, it's just the reflection of the real damage- Among the group of 75-95 year olds, the ones who are competing tend to be healthier, more alive and happier than who are not. Among the group of 30-75 it creates emotional dependence on results to feel-good, if they are coached psychologically right then they tend to feel and look sexier. Among the group of children, teenagers and 20s, it boosts their self confidence free from the results. Of course these are my personal observations and these are mild, social based ballroom competitions. I've been in different sports, I was the mc of the International Gymnastic Competitions in my country for years so I had the chance to observe the gymnasts from different countries. Group sports are heavy on athlete's psychology and self images, but single ones are a bit more constructive. As a person who's been in very different aspects of competitions, my personal opinion is, in couple of centuries or earlier, the Olympic Games will be banned. As it is happened to smoking. In 60s we see everyone smoking, now it's ridiculous and we know it's unhealthy. It's almost the same with professional sports. It goes far beyond damaging athletes' physical system with chemicals, also, to release the muscle pain and the psychological tension, the use of different substances turn into drug addictions. And so on and so forth. But on the other hand, it's like organic food or gmo; if you can hold the entire process healthy, there might be some goods to discuss. If you look at it as a tool for consciousness work, then surely you learn a lot about ego, social behavioral patterns, personal and group psychology. If you wanna know a person quick. Put them under a pressure of a competition coming up especially with something physical in front of a crowd. soon you're gonna know anything you wanna know about that person and also you're gonna know what you don't wanna know about that person if you trust your instincts and your friend, go for it;) but if you are not that sure yet:) better stay loving

Well it's not. We see a lot of trials, attempts, results: a written musical parts, despite of strong opposing feelings. You might not value what you wrote as music or didn't like or enjoy what came out, and it can surely be a disgusting music in an objective approach too; but there is this fact: you made/created it. And there is billions of people, one of them may enjoy it. Same as your college career and so on. You still love blowjobs and coffee, so the situation is not that terrible. Within your collection of your inner self, there is this part of yours, which needs your love and acceptance: the teenager. It is still very upset and is still there in the timeline: when it's rejected from the colleges it wanted to be part of. It is a very understandable pain. And then, the other thing in you which wants be loved and romanced by a girl is also very understandable and quite the norm. And it is a healthy desire. It is very common in our era that after applying for a college, the self-worth gets really damaged since this whole college process has been accepted as a definer of a destiny in the society's eye. Now, within a family, there is always at least one body that appears as a representer of that social value system, generally that's the gate where the virus enters into the young growing one's immune. Physical body inherently know how to terminate viruses. But we are very unprotected thus vulnerable to the social/psychological ones. A family system is actually mostly for acquiring it for the growing ones; but since generally the adults are already infected by such viruses, they become infectious instead of protecting the young ones and establishing the healthy self-worth system. Whatever. You are already answering nicely your question: First, yes you honor them. There is this lovely teenager within you asking for your help and sending you some nice signals for it -the part of you which knows that to make you at ease and fully integrated with all of your parts together thus reaching this sensation of relief; you need to give your tender understanding to it- you keep screaming, yelling and being even more hurtful to it. If you had a two year old daughter, would have come to you and said "daddy, I'm hungry!" Would you slap her across her face harsh, because saying so? You would feed her. Probably not just feed her but also be very affectionate while doing so. How hard it is to do so to our-selves. Well, that's the challenge, that's the start. Ask yourself: Who is weak? Who is miserable? Who is scared? Ask those questions gently like 10 times a day. But do not try to answer anything. Just ask, like for a month. Let me share with you my insight. If you want to feel, to be deeply in love, deeply be loved and accepted by that girl, she already does. You are already eligible, you have already done enough of the work necessary. You can allow yourself to accept it. And if you are -probably you are- so close to the edge of your childhood dreams, that's the drowning fear you're experiencing. Let your art/film/music be the most disgusting ones. Who cares? Who cares? You are there.

I really couldn't wrap my head around this. This is such a ridiculous thing I ever heard. I can not see any single connection that, how come some one who loves to give can be seen less attractive? I really didn't get it. If you want to open this to me a bit more then I'll read it later, since I'm gotta go now.@Shane597

Here, you need to train yourself to understand that the base ground of other people's responses might be relying on different reasons than you assume. For example, I grew up somehow needing as less help as possible from others, so if I really need help and ask for it, I generally become very fragile and that makes me loose my organic humanitive connection then I become way too distant at times, not because that I don't care or I see such situations, idk like, accusing other people's good intentions or something; but because I am uncomfortable. You see? And such cases (meaning being distant etc.) are not that much of an easy work to heal back to normal even if you have enough knowledge to help yourself and you do relevant practices. So while sometimes you think you or what you do, is the reason or the subject of the uncomfort arising, it might perfectly be other one's wounded background. If someone can not appreciate helpful people, or their effort of helping, it's really the indicator of their impotence and their incapability in life. It's as easy as that.

@Shane597 oh! Sorry! Yes, I didn't realize it. I'll read what you have written again.

Please let me know if this is helpful or that I'm slightly off-topic

I wanted to send that part because my battery died once while I was writing:) Well, just one very simple attitude of yours: a simple conscious pause in the ongoing process of exchanging information, will let them know about your masculinity right away. Period. Masculinity is about your consciousness level. When you see the other's consciousness is, you are the leader of the game (and growing up with a 'logical' 'female' already puts you ahead of the game right away) Don't be any hesitant, they'll get it sooner or later.

@Shane597 for example, personally I love men with feminine qualities, l write it like that to express it but to my opinion such a guy is very masculine with an evolutionized brain and consciousness structure. The 'masculine' guys scare me away, I feel they are impotent to connect to a woman (who is more evolutioned version of two genders: this is a personal point of view of course), I feel like I really can not find any meaningful, fulfilling or intimate connections to such men. Nothing to be offensive to those people, I'm just saying where I stand about how I feel in that quality. I'm also a very sensitive and vulnerable person too, for example if I'm rejected it effects me more than a regular female; this is tricky because I look almost the opposite, meaning like not caring or not attached at all or even intimidating at times.. Now it's because I've learnt in my early years to deal with not to be accepted and a heartbreak, I learnt to distant myself and lick my wounds myself. I believe most of the people are quite the same about that. I'm writing this because what you see outside might not really be what you might have guessed. In attraction, if someone looks down on you because of your personal qualities are not so much of a match to what the social conditioning is, yes it's hurtful at first; but you know, attraction is a long paced game, I mean it doesn't end just like that at the end of first round. People will definitely have enough time to see and get what you really are. So don't be discouraged or intimidated once they react one way. You'll have your turns to make the shot.

What are the crucial pointers for the research for the substance? How do you test the substance before you fully intake it for the trip? What is your the most important advice for a first trip over-all? Any advice of you guys is highly appreciated, Please PM me also, on the stuff you think is crucial to share. Thanks in advance

@abigailwornesable I think except having a child, none of the other stuff is permanent or irreversible, they are just choices that you made once for -relatively- long term. They are not your life sentence. It's about knowing what we want, and having guts to move to that direction; cleaning out every single thing out on that way. Not an easy thing but better than that miserable feeling on our death bed knowing that at least we could have tried, but we didn't. I think it's all about training our psyche to handle tough decisions and handling the consequences of it.

I'll meditate for an hour now guys.. if anyone wants to join.. ? Wishing a beautiful day to all of us??

@kieranperez watch "Amazing Grace" It's a true story, a biography. This guy (William Wilberforce), "maneuvers his way" through Parliament, to end the slave trade, in 18th century in Britain.

Oh! I missed this so badly! Wish I checked the forum on Saturday..

My best advice is burn your boats and never ever turn back. That's the best way to move forward in such cases. And the things @Huginn said else than that. Even if the things goes the worst, you'll always be better than what and where you are right now.