JRF2k

New signup here. New to spiritual enlightenment too. Have meditated in the past for various reasons, so I know how to do at least that much. I used to be a religious person, 33 years of my life. Then I started questioning and that lead me to set aside religious dogma and the concepts contained therein and starting looking myself. This also led me to become quite skeptical of everything. I viewed everything from the point of, where is the lie. It seems there is always a lie somewhere. You can't really trust anything you see or read these days. I have become very scientifically minded. I want evidence for the things I believe. If you say it is so, then it's your job to prove it to me and show me how I can attain the same results. Through all that, I managed to still keep an open mind about things. We know nothing. I know nothing. Taking all our knowledge gained from cave men to astronauts remains a scant nothing in the grandness of the Universe. It's like we haven't even opened our eyes yet, we are merely beginning to lift up our eyelids. Weirdly, I found myself drawn to this subject. I can't remember how I got on it, but I found this channel called Infinite Waters and started watching it. I love the guy. He is so relaxing to listen to. "Peeeeeaaaaacceeee. Infinite Waters diving deep." That just relaxes me to hear. He is entertaining to listen to, but ultimately the "woo factor" is too great with him. I can't see myself buying into the mysticism aspect of it, chakras, crystal healing, past lives, etc. From there, another Youtuber showed up, Naked Reality, a guy named Rali. I like him a lot. He takes this stuff and uses modern language to describe it and he doesn't dive into the mysticism and magic. Still, I have problems getting my mind around the no-self, ego death, etc. It's borderline woo for me, but I vibe with his no-nonsense delivery. I've watched Leo's videos before, the self-improvement ones. I was surprised to see on the feed all these videos from him regarding Enlightenment. I started watching those and again I appreciate the non-magical delivery of the topics again and Leo is a great communicator, I think. So, there's a little history of how I got here. There are some things that are stopping me, though, namely is this just another thing that we use to self-delude ourselves. I've always thought that we humans hate to think about our impending demises. That we cannot seem to accept the thought of the total destruction of us that comes with being dead. We construct these fantasies to help us not be so frightened by this aspect no matter how natural we tell ourselves it is. No one wants to die, so what a better way to deny that fact to say no we don't really die we just change in some way. Whether that's some aspect that leaves our body and goes to another dimension, realm, vibratory plane, or that become one with All That Is we still have a purpose after death and we are still who we were in this life. Having said that, I accept and am well aware I could be catastrophically wrong about everything. The Universe is so vast and mysterious that I think it's a huge mistake to say, "This IS how it IS." I, as a seeker, seek only the truth. I do not wish to be lied to or told to follow a path that ultimately leads to my own disillusionment and finding out that it's just humans being humans, scared, unsure, and willing to grab on to anything that will provide some kind of comfort from their assured demise. Thanks for reading and I appreciate all your thoughts, comments, and advice. I look forward to learning and growing with everyone.

Agreed. I figure if I could not entertain thoughts about this stuff, I wouldn't be here in the first place. I would have already written it off as woo. I come to this with an open, yet skeptical mind.

You're welcome. Sorry, it wasn't something more, but there is nothing more to it. You just have to forget yourself and everything around you until you are snapped back at the sound of whatever you are using to time yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

Yep, I have experienced this. It's the feeling of, "I have other things to do!" or "This is boring." Let that go. Set your timer and then forget about it. Let go and just be. Don't worry about how much time has passed or is left. Anchor yourself in the present moment and just be.