onilsson

Hey guys, I have been a bit back om forth on a recurring thought-pattern I am having - and I thought I could use some external advice. I have over the last couple of months made huge "progress" in terms of having more and more "non-dual" experiences. I sometimes feel that I right on top of the threshhold of transitioning into something unknown. Even though the pursuit of the-truth-of-myself have been what have been at the center of my focus the last couple of years, as I now start to get glimpses that are more than a handful so to say I start to get nervous and to back off. At the same time I continue forward, because at another level - I want to go all the way I am a person who value my mental clarity and cognitive abilities quite a lot. When I get into these wacky "non-dual" states - i feel as I am in free fall. That my grip of reality is falling apart. This is equally amazing as scary. Going crazy or insane is something I fear. And when I start to think about what would happen if I would truly allowed myself to fall, merge, transcend or you know - and in that, instead of fully accepting it and allowing it to become me, I would be overwhelmed and resist and try to crawl back to ordinary consciousness, and if that wouldn't work and I would be in a negative destructive thought spiral ... in that scenario my thoughts become dark of what I would have to do to stop my own madness. Otherwise I am right now really happy with my life. I have a stable personality and outside of this no dark thoughts or self-destructive intentions. I feel like ought to face these silly stupid worrying thoughts that have no sense to them what so ever. But I am at the same time a bit worried of what could happen if I did. FUCK ME as I write this I realize I am afraid of thoughts I havn't had, in a situation that havn't been. Anyhow - any good tips or advice when approaching dark thoughts that have elements of self-harm to them? Or any other good tips when transitioning - so that it goes as smoothly and positive as possible, and not the other way? I.e having a spiritual emergency Thanks !

HEY! I am curious about what you guys think about having fun while "on the path". Fun can of course be defined many ways and what is fun differs from person to person, but I use it in a very broad sense. I have been "serious" for quite some time and now this summer I've put "the path" a bit on hold and just enjoyed myself and tried to explore music, dancing, meeting new people, not having the agenda of making every discussion a deep philosophical one. I clearly see that this comes down to a balancing act. - and i am not a lil curious on your thoughts and maybe some practical examples of how you balance the serious with the un-serious. Where do you draw the line? I would for example go on a Tinder-date, or hang out with friends, go on a hike, or listen to music etc etc - but would not get myself drunk in the name of fun. Or eat candy till im stuffed. love love love

@Danka I don't know why it's become such a trendy thing to be dissing "intellectual masturbation"? Sure I do a lot of practices and techniques - but I also feel I get a lot out of mere thinking and contemplating.

@WaterfallMachine Ah well put ! I can for sure resonate with that. It comes and goes. Sometimes the seriousness needs to be on a break for a lil while and I just want to keep it light and playful for a day or maybe a week, and then after getting that out of my system there is a "calling" to going back to more "serious work". And I also agree with how a loss of purpose arises when you have been "slacking" for too long

I want to bring this question together with a variety of different topics covered in self-actualization, refering to videos from Leo (I am assuming you seen them all haha ) - so if you have seen them you know the concepts and what I have written in between the lines -- and I don't need to make this longer than I already will. And, yes, of course I want to shine some light to the topic - and yes, I want to promote veganism. I am not here to give you the detailed information, that I will let you verify for yourself. The main-point is of course that pain and death of innocent beings and environments is a direct consequnce of eating animal products. I am not really asking for help, not really into starting a debate either, but do you having something to share - please do! I primarily I want to call all those out who see themselves to be walking on the path of self-actualizing and maybe have forgot this little corner of the map. Each time you grab a bite, it has consequences. "Many droplets will in the end make a river" as we say in Sweden. Spiral dynamics: The ego realizes it's own backfiring mechanisms. At a higher stage - green or green+ I don't see how one could not be vegan. At these stages one would have enough awareness and big picture thinking to realize where there food is coming from. It's not magically appearing from the 5th space-dimension. It's about knowing meat comes from somewhere, and that consuming it will only perpetual the systematic flow of suffering. Knowing that the short-term benefit of the taste is heavly out-weighted by the long-term costs. One would not want to hurt themselves (read up on the topic if unaware) or others or the eco-system through one owns' actions. Addictions: Eating animal products can be an addiction, it is for most, it was for me. It's an indoctrinated habit taught to us without our consent. Suddenly we wake up to the fact we have been eating animals products every single meal for 10-15-20-25 years - never questioned it. It's second-nature. Stopping it would require change, withdraw symptoms, emotional labour. I was very neurotic in my mental activity during the transition phase. Please don't let yourself or the rest of us suffer because you are not the master of your own house. Ego: It's the you that wants that greasy slice of cheese. You want it for you. You want it, you want it, you want. Don't give me a rational bullshit philosophical answer. You want it because it just tastes so fuckin good. You are hooked to grease and fat, and you love it. You are very narcissistic in the way you let your desires, cravings and habits be so god damn preferential and bias towards yourself. The eco-systems and the animals have to pay a fatal price for your greed. Consciousness: Are you using high-level consciousness when you are going through your day? Do you take responsibility for your own actions? Be fully aware. Leos video about awareness as a cure for destructive behaviour can be thoroughly applied here I think. Start to study the subject a bit. Maybe you watch Cowspiracy or Earthlings and then try to FULLY aware eat a burger. Maybe you start to reflect on the fact that just as you, no other living being on the face of this planet wants to be subjected to cruelty and death - so maybe you from a point of empathy and consciousness let your actions reflect this. I think the point has been made and will chose to stop here. I am not a ranter about this in my real life, but if any community should be able to understand this - it should be you guys. Thanks you for your time and consideration with love, Olof

For self-exploration and personal development alone I really don't think that formal education is your best bet to be honest. Keep at it in your own way. Have your vision and direction for yourself figured out before you commit to such a lenghty thing. Maybe read up on the courses you would take. Go talk to current psychologists. Find out how does a day for a psychologist look like. I did this. But before that: Self-actualize If you have that luxuary. Do that first. Highly recommended I will enroll in the psychologist programme within a few weeks, I can give you an update about how it is later Btw are you Scandinavian??

@CaptainFlint Thank you very, very much for you took the time to write this. You put into words how my process was like better than I have done for myself. This is fucking dead spot-on on how I dealt with my porn and sugar habit. It's like those old-school scales. I had to convince myself enough intellectually to have the scale tip over to one side. Always unsure if it would tip back over again. Never thought about it like this before. But it's brilliant. It says you both want it gone, and you don't. A part of you want the addiction, a part of your psyche believes it contributes to something. It also shows that you as a person believes itself to be in LACK somehow without this habit. A belief truly worth digging in to. When what you want to discover and then say is that you do want it gone - wholeheartedly. And then it's magic pull over you disappears. I love it

Oh you are so on the right track now! Keep reading, keep meditating, keep having a vision for yourself. The fapping problem will only decrease its pull over you the more you develope your consciousness. Just keep at it. It's maybe a dull, and old, message - but you will thank yourself. High conscious living is truly amazing to its polar opposite.

You're right. It does indeed require some thought process and conceptualization to link the product to the both the animal and the suffering. Some concepts and links are important. Actions have real manifestations and consequences even though they are not shown in Your direct experience. Eating a vegan burger or a meat burger will not show any significant difference in your all-mighty own direct experience, but remember it may still produce consequences for other people, animals or environments direct experience. Riight. So if we are talking about a truly enlightened person who is completly lucid and immersed in the here and now - having no thought or label for reality - and never reflected or been shown this truth (you can't be aware of what you don't know) before his or her big breakthrough - then yes it is very understandable that this person will just see, feel, smell and be with the texture, taste of the product. I do understand causality and why it's perfectly explainable why people act or think, or in this rare exception don't think as they do. But I still want to get up in their face like "you may have realized the absolute truth and are now a manifestation of absolute infinity and consciousness yourself, but hey stop eating cheese mothafuckaah" But most of us, I am guessing, are still quite cognitive people. So it would be really nice if we could get this under our belt before all of us go enlightened haha. What I am doing is throwing in another concept for you to be aware of. Making life maybe even more challenging. One more sacriface, if you chose to see it that way, I encourage you to make. Be true to your compassion and benevolence. Come on, do it - you guys are tough (and amazing! <3 )(and eternally infinite right? ) But serisouly guys - read up on the subject a little - it's not ok to shrug this away or continue with blinders on. And just a little carrot for those who need that egoic motivation - there is a clear positive boost in your mood, energy and mental clearity on a vegan diet - I have my scientific guesses as to why, but I will leave them out due to lack of expertise. now have a great day!

@Heart of Space You are indeed correct in that no life style is more valid than any other. That's good, you are not getting into moralism. And you have also realized that you might start to lose the strenght and accessiblility of your highest levels of consciousness if you quit practicing. And that you and god and the whole shi-bang would still be the same nontheless of course. But very rhetorically and non-moralistic, why would one from a point of conscious choice, i.e not ignorance, ever chose to lead ones life in the direction of disillusionment and suffering? And also, and I may have misunderstood you ---- but on the notion that all your meditation and practice have been unnecessary - do you really think you would have been where you are today without it? Causality my friend, action and reaction. Life accumulates. You have always been You of course, but would you still have known it? Is that not the important thing - you knowing it in your heart and bonemarrow?

Wow that sounds profound! I am happy for you. This world need more awake people. I have never experienced something alike, so I will give you this message and carry on as usual All the love to you