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@Wisebaxter Not sure what other people have written because its all TLDR. My only comment is that you say you're balls deep in Yellow, but you seem to be missing the whole point of Yellow which is integrating the best and most valuable parts of all the previous stages. You seem to be demonising Orange because it doesn't suit your more Green sense of identity (classic Green trap). If you're truly Yellow you should be looking at the best parts of Orange and then starting to integrate them into your life. Of course you want to discard all of the bad stuff from Orange. Through the integration you can then consciously transcend that stage and move on.

@bejapuskas Here's a great site someone posted on the forum a while ago which i've been loving: https://www.dailyevolver.com/ . It's all about stage yellow integral thinking. If you want to understand Yellow then start watching a bunch of the content on there. It's not too difficult to get a basic understanding of Yellow, but embodying is quite challenging. With regards to Coral, and any stages beyond that, I personally imagine them as ever deeper and deeper levels of consciousness and metaphysical understanding and embodiment, combined with the more advanced intellectual thinking that we see in Yellow (but just even more advanced). I'm sure there are more stages even beyond Coral, but it's not really worth discussing to be honest.

@Tony 845 There's a huge amount of information about Kundalini on the internet and in books. All of your questions will likely have been asked and answered before somewhere. Just do some research!

@Jonty When you say you've been contemplating for 14/15 months, have you been contemplating different things over that period or have you just been focusing on a few or 1 topic like What You Are?

@28 cm unbuffed To be more inventive or creative you must do more inventing and creating. Through doing lots of creative work, and making lots of mistakes, new ideas come to you more and more. Reading and absorbing external information is great for inspiration of course, but taking action and actually starting to invent stuff is what will generate new ideas. The more you take part in invention and creation the more ideas you receive.

@kieranperez Dude, do not loose hope. Things will sort themselves out and you will find your way. I'm a few years older than you and a huge amount has changed for me in the past couple years. I took the LP course about 2.5 years ago and i've only now become much clearer about what it is I want to do, after so much confusion and doubt. I just kept the intention to figure it out and ultimately it worked. Don't think of your current job as useless or pointless. It's a small stepping stone and you're moving forward. You're taking some action and not just sitting on your ass! Also consider getting a life or career coach to get a professional outside perspective on your life, even if its just for a few sessions. Life/career coaching can be extremely powerful and effective because it makes you think in completely new ways. And often it's not expensive at all. Leo's course is great of course, but nothing compares to talking to someone one on one and being held responsible/accountable. Definitely recommended.

The transmissions do not work for everyone unfortunately. I have had quite a number of transmissions in the past from a number of different people, some of whom were deeply enlightened (where they were actually physically touching my head). I might have experienced a small raising of consciousness during the process, (might have just been placebo) but nothing of substance. I'm not denying that it can't work though. I'm pretty certain it does.

If i lived in the states i'd definitely attend. I may consider travelling over to NY if you were going to do the longer workshop on the Saturday as well. It sounds awesome. Otherwise I will have to wait for your potential visit to London. I hope lots of people attend the early sessions and it becomes a regular thing. I would assume that people attending will be fairly proactive self-actualizers and not just casual youtube viewers, so it would be such a great opportunity to meet new people.

If you are not separate from reality then you are not separate from every past life that has ever occured. Every life that has ever occurred is a past life. Whether you're conscious of any of those lives is another matter of course.

@Athena It's been said a million times, but check your diet. You might be intolerant to something. Try going on an elimination diet https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/elimination-diet#section4 for 3-4 weeks. Worth a try.

@smd Have you tried an elimination diet? You cut out a bunch of food groups for 3-4 weeks and see if your symptoms improve. Then slowly reintroduce foods to see which one is the cause. Definitely worth a try. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/elimination-diet#section4

@kieranperez I'd definitely agree with what Emerald said. You need a change of scenery. Focus on getting a fairly basic, but decent job that is not gonna completely drive you crazy (like working in a call centre), so that you can move out and gain some independence. When you're stuck somewhere you don't want to be (like home with family), your thoughts are stuck too. Which is probably why you can't seem to figure things out. I've been there, trust me. Moving out, changing your environment and changing your daily routine will almost certainly give you new ideas and insights about where you want to go in life. You can do it!

@Javfly33 I think its just a matter of facing that fear head on. You should pick a day that you know will be good for you to trip, make all of the usual preparations, and then just commit to it. It also depends on the psychedelic and the dose. A small mushroom trip is not going to be that difficult or challenging. A large LSD trip might be something to avoid - or maybe not.

@brugluiz I would advise reading So Good They Can't Ignore You. The author says that passion is something that comes later after the hard work, i.e. you work to become so good they cant ignore you which makes you passionate about that area. He says to avoid trying to 'find' your 'passion', as though you have some special one thing that just needs to be discovered and then you're sorted for life. It doesn't work like that. You basically have to find something that you're interested in, or that you actually want to do, and then work at building the skills and knowledge within that area. What do you want?? So you create the passion, it's not found somewhere. You create the life that you want. It's completely and totally up to you. Which is why most people fail at finding their life purpose. It's not something you find, it's something you create. Then after a fairly long period of time you start to develop a passion for that area, because you see the fruits of your effort. The important thing is to not expect passion to be their right at the beginning, nor constantly throughout. You have to recognise that a lot of the time the work will not be fun. But obviously, in order to be able to motivate yourself to do work that is not fun, what you choose to spend your time doing shouldn't just be some random idea. It should be meaningful for you and have the potential to help others or to make an impact. It should be intentionally chosen to move you closer to your vision or goals. When you're thinking about what you want to do, come up with some ideas and then think about what those ideas would actually look like in reality. What you be doing on a daily basis? What kinds of grindy things might you have to do? How many hours would you have to spend doing that? How long would you have to spend learning a particular skill? What might you have to sacrifice? Don't just create some lofty future image of yourself being an artist or a teacher, for example. Think about what it would actually look like and then ask yourself whether you would be willing to do that?

@Peter Zemskov It's quite common. A lot of people report similar experiences. Generally the movements are a good sign and should be allowed and accepted as best you can. Obviously if it becomes dangerous you probably want to stop or atleast be cautious. I don't know exactly what causes the movements, but I assume it's kundalini or some type of energy flowing through the body which can then manifest as physical movements or as emotional purges (emotion = energy in motion). There is a huge amount of information about this type of thing online already. Go research!

@Azrael If you ever visit London, i'd love to meet and hang out! Always loved reading your forum posts

@Eonn If it's your first time taking mushrooms you might want to just relax into the experience and not worry too much about actively contemplating your personal issues. But it's up to you of course. It also depends on how intense the trip is, and how capable you are of having normal thoughts during the trip. The experience can vary quite considerably from person to person and trip to trip. My advice would be just to focus on letting go and allowing whatever happens to happen. My second shroom trip I did just this, and I had a huge emotional release without contemplating or trying to do anything particular. It just happened. I cried like a baby for like 3 hours straight. That was some deep emotional healing.

@eskwire I thought the post you wrote about your ankle was really interesting! I wish I had commented now. It showed you have a lot of self-awareness, which is rare. Don't let the comments of a few people dictate how you feel. Leo and other people on this forum can be quite critical and sometimes a bit too insensitive. That's just the way it is, and sometimes it's needed, other times not so much. So try not to take it too personally. There's a lot of value in what Leo teaches, but of course, as you said, a balance is definitely needed particularly for women.

I love this interview. Such a profound discussion in an innocently ‘normal’ english pub. I believe this is only one of few interviews or videos of Maitreya Ishwara. Unfortunately he died in 2012. He mentions how Enlightenment is the final stage of evolution, and how ultimately we will all end up merging with God and Light. Not necessarily in these bodies, but in future lifetimes. They also talk about lots of other aspects of enlightemnet. Notice the deep silence and stillness in his eyes. Beautiful.

@Arthur Snorting never worked for me. Plugging it was much more successfull. I haven't had a breakthrough trip yet though.

Well then, there lies a potential solution. Chances are you're anaemic. If you're committed to the vegan thing, then go for it thats great. Maybe try supplementing. But if you're willing to include some good quality meat twice a week into your diet, there's a good chance your fatigue issues will go away. Atleast thats what i've found anyway. Not saying it's definitely the solution to your issues. But it could be.

Nah I supplemented it.

Are you vegan or vegetarian? I was vegan for around 2 years and I resolved all of my quite severe fatigue issues in a matter of days by reintroducing meat into my meals a couple times a week.

@Alex bAlex You can start a journal in the 'Self-Actualization Journal' section.

@Alex bAlex You gotta realise that this work is a life-long process, or atleast a decades long process. 1 year and 3 months is nothing really. It seems like you were trying to go too fast and do too much at once. Changing your lifestyle so radically and trying to change so many habits at once is bound to fail. Thats homeostasis for ya, you should know this if you keep up with Leo's content. Also realise that everyone backslides. It's part of the process. Don't see it as failure or an excuse to give up. I understand that this work is hard and gruelling at times, but don't fall into the trap of just playing victim. Everyone else has the exact same challenges. Stop complaining about your situation and DO something about it. So you need to start by getting the basics of life in place before working on other areas, in my opinion. Then you can start to tackle the other things you've listed, but in a slow, methodical and importantly strategic manner. You were not strategic about this process. Moving alone, for example, was clearly a bad choice for you at this point in your life. So think about what are the main things you need to sort out and fix right now. Write them out and prioritise the top 3 things. What are the things that will improve your life the most right now. And don't say enlightenment. Is it making new friends? Is it working on your communication and social skills? Is it quitting smoking? All of these things are big, and will require a lot time and attention. You probably can't be trying to change 10 other habits whilst trying to quit smoking, for example. So once you've figured out what your priorities are, then start working on that. I should also say, stop complaining about not having good social skills. Social skills are learnt! If you went out to a social event every day for the next month and spoke to 10 different people I guarantee you would not be thinking the same way. Social skills and communication can be learnt just like any other skill. And I bet you'll be surprised at how quickly you can get good at conversing with strangers if you just actively practise with a positive and optimistic mindset. Stop thinking that you're just going to be bad at socialising for the rest of your life. This is classic victim mindset. All it takes is a little bit of work and the courage to face your fears. And then a few months down the line you can start looking at other areas, like implementing an exercise habit (if thats what you want to do), or slowly changing your diet etc. With diet, make one or two changes at a time so you can counter the homeostasis that you will inevitably face. Life isn't all that bad. Pull yourself up with your bootstraps and get to work!