retardedhorse1

Hello guys/leo, i know Leo has good intentions with his videos, i dont doubt that. However, some of the content might do more harm than good.Im talking about all the existential stuff. His videos about enlightement, noself all that kinda stuff have thrown me into a deep existential hell of depersonalization. Again, i know this is not his intention and its certainly my traumatic past and anxious, highly sensitive personality that predisposed me to this. But dude, be careful with what ideas your spreading and expecially how you present them.Running around, telling people they dont exist has the potential to completely ruin their lifes.Everyone in my situation just wants to be a normal human being again.And whoever responds to this, please dont tell me about "oh thats just your ego talking etc."If your in this existential hell, you dont want to hear about enlightement and all that kind of stuff.You just want to be a normal human being! Its VERY FUCKING EASY to talk about this when your not in this kind of situation. I really just want to call attention to the potential danger in some of leos videos. And lets be real here, how many people have actually gotten closer to "enlightenment"(or whatever the fuck) by watching them vs. how many were just kind of entertained vs. how many were deeply disturbed and potentially thrown into a deep depression/Dp/dr.What do you think? I love a lot of leos content, dont get me wrong.But i suggest he might want to consider reframing some of these buddhist concepts in a way that is healthy for those without a stable personality.Just saying man..if he did a video for people to better deal with these ideas, he would do a lot of good for many, im certain of that. Anyway, just something that i think is very very important to keep in mind. And again, please no spiritual response. Thanks!

Jesus fucking christ." whats so bad about depersonalization disorder" Well good luck sir @electroBeam on your "path".Oh you have had a shitty traumatic life and your dissociating because of it. NAAAHHH THATS JUST A REQUIREMENT FOR " THE PATH" TO HAPPY LALA LAND.Good luck, i hope you get there soon ! ^^ Anway, if it works for you thats cool.I can only imagine your not experiencing the fullblown disorder, otherwise you wouldnt be talking like this ^^

Hello guys, ive recently had an issue with nihilistic thoughts that would ruin everything i enjoyed. Then for a few days i forgot about that and everything went back to normal.However, then new ideas appeared that i would obsess over all day long.You should know that ive had constant derealization for as long as i can remember.In and of itself it is not really a problem, but it can become one if i focus on it.I had years, where i was so engaged with life that i didnt give a shit and never thought about it.However now im quite aware of it again.So for me everything already seems kind of dream like and now on top of that, these ideas of "emptyness" and"no self" have poisoned my mind. So im constantly observing myself and deconstructing everything, every sensantion even. Deep down i know, that im not going to think myself into a deep depression, as ive always had episodes like this with various themes.And they all passed as soon, as those thoughts passed.But with this " ability" to imagine a certain reality to the point where you can actually feel it can be very frightening. As i said i have derealization, but actually not depersonalisation.But of course i also started to obsess over that, and then i start feeling like it becomes a reality. So now im also afraid of my meditation.It has helped me tremendously in the past, but know in combination with all the ideas mentioned above, im pretty scared of it.I know its an unusual and weird situation, but my main question is: How do i stop this constant self obesrvation..plus i need some reassurance that " no self" plus " emptyness" n stuff, are not ideas to ruin your day lol.But im pretty much using them as such.Pls excuse my possibly incoherent rambling..^^ Im really not striving for an awakening..i think im the type of person that could be ruined by that. I just want to keep meditating for psychological benefits and go back to being a more or less healthy, functional human being. Thx!

Thanks everyone, ill definitely get over this!

Hello everyone, so a few days ago this thought has manifested in my mind, that everything is actually totally meaningless.I mean thats kind of obvious, but it has turned into an obsession where im constantly observing myself and questioning everything that i actually enjoy doing.Such as my girlfriend, hobbies, even the tase of food lol. It goes something like this: " oh i am enjoying myself right now" " but this is totally meaningless" and there goes the enjoyment and i get a hit of anxiety. I have realized that every meaning is completely subjective and what you like doing is essentially very arbitrary.Now its a question of how you interpret that.There is the saying " you can choose to be happy" and thats exactly right.But for me its kind of a sad thought, because it implies that nothing is actually absolute. I know this whole thing is a stupid mind game, and that when im not thinking everything is fine again.But the last few days it has really become a viscious circle of deconstructive mind activity and constant self observation, which leads to extreme anxiety.And somehow feeling bad seems kind of more valid than feeling good, which i know is totally fucked up.Usually at the end of the day, my mind cant handle it anymore and just shuts down and i suddenly feel better than ever as i am very present and relaxed. I guess i have made the mistake of taking some of the spiritual teachings as constructs and i am now using them against me.I need to learn to allow myself feeling great.Yes in the end its all arbitrary, but there is no need to interpret that as a bad thing. Some help would be highly appreciated!!

Hello, i was just wondering whether to do shinzen youngs do nothing, where the only rule is: " whenever you become aware of your intention to control your attention, drop that intention" or more of an active surrendering meditation. I found that with do nothing i tend to just get into monkey mind the whole time, whereas with constantly actively surrendering/relaxing your body and brain (such as leos "next level of meditation")i get into a "deep state" much quicker. What are your thoughts on these techniques?

Hello everyone, now this is just me realizing how i have been for years and still am wasting pretty much 80 percent of my time on social media, on youtube, looking at stupid cat videos, going on random video sprees for hours, fucking netflix, facebook again etc etc. Im so sick of this and i totally see how all of this bullshit has just a temporary numbing effect because i often dont know what to do with myself. I am meditating and im working out and studying psychology at university and these things are awesome, yet there is so much free time that im completely wasting. I dont want to sound arrogant, but i really i have some talents, and i wish i had the motivation to use that potential but its just not there.I have kind of accepted that it makes no sense to force these things...but still. I kind of feel like i have no long term perspective, nothing im really working on or developing(except meditation/working out) and i feel a strong need for something meaningfull to identify with.Im very aware that all of this is egoic bullshit but im frankly not at a stage yet where i could drop it. The point is, i need to stop this toxic behavior and replace it with something thats actually fullfilling...but how should i go about this? I would really appreciate your thoughts on this! Thank you!

Hello, just a thing i noticed. Im currently doing shinzen youngs noting technique, to be exact "just feel". Whenever i focus on a bodysensation it is usually accompanyied by some faint "visual" sensation of that area, if you know what i mean. I am able to just feel without like "visually locating" the sensation and then it gets pretty weird, its just a sensation sitting nowhere in space. Any thoughts on this?

LOL ^^ When you focus on lets say your whole arm, dont you have like some very faint visual experience of that area while feeling the sensation? Maybe im just a little weird in that way, whatever^^it doesnt seem to be a problem

I would love to know more about leos own spiritual journey/progress hes made so far.

Hello people, i just thought this might be interesting to mention in the context of the spiritual journey. For those who dont know about derealisation, its a very weird feeling of being detatched from your surroundings, like your stuck in a dream.For me and most people, its also mostly a visual experience. Ive had constant Derealisation as long as i can remember.Ive been in therapy for years but it didnt change a thing.Im not really suffering from it anymore, as i am soo used to it.(its a permanent state, literally every second).Shinzen Young refered to it as the "evil twin of enlightenment" and i think thats really fascinating. Heres the vid for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA My meditation is going well, maybe someday it will change in some way, who knows. Anyone else whos experiencing this?

At the time the therapist didnt even know what was going on and never even mentioned the term derealization, even tho my description of my experience was pretty much the textbook definition of dr^^years later i found out that there even is such a thing and that im not alone with this weird perception issue.Its not as bad as you might think, dont confuse this with depression.It still sucks tho^^

My perception is also very fucked, i have 24/7 derealisation, which makes everything look very flat and dreamlike. Can you relate to this as well?

You mean one should stop formal pracice? And how is enlightenment made up bullshit? Maybe i dont get what ur saying^^

Hello guys, ive been meditating consistently for almost two months now and its been going great. Im doing a simple "concentration meditation" " shinzen young style^^" where i just focus on a body sensation and bring my attention back when it wanders. I sometimes get pretty deep stillness which is great, often however this "visual monkey mind" is going nuts. By that i mean my internal visual field just going crazy and shifting back and forth like an adhd child^^ I can keep feeling the sensation but at the same time theres all this visual crazyness which is much harder to calm down than the mental talk. I dont just mean the normal stuff you see behind your eyelids tho, its visual thought of no particular shape or form but with great annoying movement. Do you have any experience with this? Should i maybe switch to a "do nothing" like technique?

Thanks everybody! i will work on this for sure !

Hello people, i just thought i wanted to share this with you. Ive only been consistently meditating for 2 months now (40 min a day split up in 20 min each), using a simple "concentration meditation" where i focus one a bodily sensation( usually my feet touching the ground) and mentally label "touch" over and over again.Before that ive been experimenting with more "open monitoring" type techniques(where you dont focus on something specific) but they didnt work as well, they probably were to advanced. Anyway, the most dramatic effect, which i didnt really expect, was a great reduction of my social anxiety.I used to be very nervous around groups of strangers, but for some reason im way more chill now.My heartrate doesnt go up anymore and ive developed like a healthy indifference in my social interactions. If you find yourself struggeling with your meditation, maybe give this very basic concentration technique a try for a while.It might be less confusing and you are actually in control of whats going on.

Hm ye, if its a thought pattern in my case, it must be really deep in my subconscious.I dont have anxiety, even tho i had some phases in the past. Ye its probably a defense mechanism, maybe it developed as my parents split up when i was a toddler. Im not fighting it anymore at all, ive accepted it a long time ago.Maybe continues meditation practice will eventually resolve some of the underlying issues but im not expecting anything All i can say is that this state doesnt have to influence your life at all, its just a weird perception thats all.

well thats a bit vague dude.Its a perceptual phenomenon not an emotional issue.Im not depressed or anything, im fine^^ Could you explain what you mean by that?

Well i have to disagree, its definitely not a thought pattern and for me it isnt coupled with anxiety either. It has been there for at least 15 years no matter what.Its a constant way of perceiving the world.

Hello guys, after trying out different techniques such as do-nothing and leos guided meditation, i found one that works by far the best for me. And that is simple focused attention meditation.Just focusing on a single body sensation or sound and trying to stay as focused as possible. I guess thats pretty much the simplest form of meditation and now, after just one month im already seeing great results. Now here are some questions tho: If i focus on the breath i quickly start to feel like im suffocating.Instead i usually start with focusing on the sensation of my feet touching the floor.After that i switch to my hands touching each other.And after that i may switch to an external sound.What are your thoughts on this? I started doing this with repeatedly noting "touch" "feel" or " hear", but now i often get much more calm without the noting.Im not sure if i should stick with it? Do you have any general tips on how to set up my routine?Right now im doing 20 min in the morning and 20 in the evening. Thanks in advance!

Im just a total newbie but from what ive heard, this guy seems to totally miss the point. The spiritual journey, from my understanding, is not about ideas or more information. In fact, its the exact opposite of that. In a way you want to distance yourself from all conceptual knowledge and strip away all the "bs" to see reality in its essence. That can be a much more powerfull place to live from and will give you a completely new perspective on the conceptual world.

Hey, so ive been doing all of leos meditations for the past 2 months or so. While ive had some great experiences, letting your attention wander wherever it wants can be kinda confusing at times and letting go can sometimes be quite a struggle. This kind of meditation seems pretty different from the "classical" ones where you focus specifically on one thing like your breath, a sound etc etc. The second seems more like an concentration meditation to me, even tho they are both regarded as mindfullness medidation. So im a little confused here. Where exactly is the difference and why does leo pretty much ignore the second type? (from what i can tell at least)

Ahh okay, ive mainly been doing his latest guided meditation "the next level of meditation", where he emphasizes to not manipulate anything. Hm, i just did some meditation by focusing on a specific sound and it was awesome.