TimStr

Some general advice: Fist, get your own shit back together, THEN help out others. Don't beat yourself up! The path is long and you will stumble a lot. Growth actually happens by failing a lot! So don't worry about that. Every time you fail an feel like shit, say to yourself: "This is only going to make me stronger!" Then get back up on your feet and start walking again. Some specific advice: Make a clear decision and stick to it! Your ex is changing her mind a lot because she is confused and doesn't know, what she wants. And actually: You don't know what you want either! So make up your mind and then tell her. Don't justify or explain yourself, just tell her! Then go do it and stick to it! (Hint: Anticipate, that this is going to be very hard.) Go watch Leos video about self acceptance! Watch it at least once a week for the next two months. This will completely change you! Send it to your ex so she can also go watch it. Give her a sense of deep acceptance and space. Yes she hurt you a lot and you want her to stop. And yes you probably can't bear to see her suffering any more and you want her to change and grow for her own sake. But if you want a person to grow, the most important thing they need is space! One of the most beautiful definitions of true love I ever heard was: creating a space to grow. She should not feel obligated to you in any way!

Enlightenment has to be a strange loop. It can only exist as a strange loop. There is this description in zen of enlightenment being a gateless gate. You walk through the gate and realize, that there was no gate to walk through in the first place. On my last AL-LAD trip I was mindfucked by this paradox of enlightenment being a "state" that can be reached vs advita nonduality tells us that we allready are enlightened and can't get any closer to it. The psychedelic confronted my mind with the question of how it's possible to reach a "state" that I am allready in. What I now know, after watching your new video, @Leo Gura , that I became conscious of the strange-loopieness of the concept of enlightenment. There is this description of the substance of enlightenment by Peter Ralston that captures this, that rings very true with me. The insight here is, that there is no difference between enlightenment and me. That's were the metaphor of the cat unraveling the yarn unraveling the cat comes in. I am enlightenment, I just have to realize what I am.

Young children learn much more through absorption than through teachning. They automatially adapt to the environment, they're in. They absorb the behaviour and emotional vibes of the people they spend time with. So the endeavour of raising high consciousness children really is much more about becoming a really great and inspiring role-model for them. And also its about you facing, that you're children can be any way they want and don't have to live up to any standard what so ever, you set for them.

No, it isn't a goal of mine and it will never be. Doing the work, that will get me there is my number one goal.

I've been using Evernote for commonplacing and so far, I am happy with it. I have no experience with MS OneNote. I'd appreciate some thoughts from someone who worked with both, weather it's worth switching to OneNote.

@egoless Get into permaculture! Here's some inspiration. Watch the whole movie:

Ask yourself: Do you spend quality time in the evening? I have the exact same problem like you and I struggle with it till this day. But it has improved a lot recently, because I know, that I will benefit from forcing my self to go to bed earlier. Most of the time, when I was staying up late, it was either because I was doing some neurotic work for the next day, that I procrastinated on or I was just wasting my time with watching movies or playing computer games. But, I know people that are at their maximum productivity when it's very late. You have to judge by yourself weather you are just wasting your time staying up late or if you are a natural night owl. If you are, forcing yourself to go to bed early might just be a waste of time. But if you aren't, going to bed early is a extremely useful tool for productivity and controlling your bad habits. If you find, that you're just like me and you waste your time in the evenings, then you're right, there might be something off with your motivation. Notice that most of the time during this post, I was not talking about waking up early, but about going to bed early. I think, that going to bed early is far more crucial and motivating, than just waking up early. I go to bed, knowing, that I can now put to rest my efforts for that day and regenerate myself for the next one, not because if I wouldn't I would only get 4h of sleep till my alarm clock rings. Positive motivation is crucial here. You have to see, why this is good for you. This way you ensure, that you get a healthy amount of sleep (7-8 hours minimum). The one big trick here, is to force yourself to go to bed at about the same time each day. Then after a few days, waking up will be much easier and you need a little less sleep after you adjusted. Positive motivation for pulling this adjustment off. You need a very clear picture in your mind about how this habit can improve your life. Don't let yourself be forced out of bed, because you think, by fear. Let yourself be inspired out of bed by the vision of what you can accomplish that day. If this is hard for you, work on your goal setting. Write your long term goals on a piece of paper that you put next to your bed. Then, every evening, take a look at that piece of paper and think about what you want to do tomorrow to get closer to your long term goals and write 3 short term goals for tomorrow on a post-it. Put both of them next to your alarm clock and look at them, first thing in the morning. If you're still struggling with motivation take bigger action, the life Purpose course offers great leaverage on motivation problems. One other thing, that helps greatly is having at least one appointment every day, pereferabely early. That way, you have to get up, and, if you have a morning ritual, that takes up some time, you have to get up early. You can also schedule your workout early in the morning or talk to a person, that should hold you accountable.

@Serge Here's a key insight for you: The feeling isn't in the music, it's within yourself. If you want to learn to "feel" the music, start feeling yourself more and start to observe how the music makes you feel. It is very much a learning = observation type of endeavour. Here are some tips for how to pull that of: While listening to music, observe your physical body sensations and your emotions. Feeling bored, uncomfortable or disgusted are also emotions, you can tune into. If you feel nothing at all (at first), thats ok, tune into that. Use sound only! While music videos offer more sensual stimulation, they tend to put you in a very absorbed state. Headphones are great for this.c Go to concerts: Music, that happens right in front of you has some sort of special power. There is something about the in-the-momentness that amplifies the emotional qualities of that particular music. Get yourself to a concert, go to the very first row and allow yourself to be moved by the musicians. Dance! This one is huge! Allow the sound to move your body. You can do this in some sort of concert of club setting, but also alone at your place (where noone is watching you ). Some music is more suited for dancing than other and everyone has his own preferences here. E.g. my body moves best to percussive, non melodic , minimal techno. Find your own way to dance, there are no rights or wrongs here. Consider to listen to lots of different kinds of non-mainstream music: Most mainstream pop music is emotionally very dull and tends to stimulate your most basic human drive. Getting into other styles of music may take some time to develope a taste, but the emotional pallet you can discover here is vastly more rich, than in mainstream music. Here are some random examples of music, that I consider highly emotionally charged. Depending on your musical taste, this may also be an exercise for open mindedness. Don't worry, if you dislike some of the music, that's ok, I want to challange you. Remember the first tip of observing what you actually feel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R97hOKP-iUw&t=32s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIVrCZ5sNwE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNaUv_XYFGg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fktwPGCR7Yw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7KXq6RJ0PA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9INsERNFUo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e21NOp69hM

@Alexo45 Also, check this video:

Truth is the most obvious thing there is! It's like right in your face for 24/7! But the problem with this is, your intellect has nothing to contrast it with, that's why it doesn't stand out! Peter Ralston explains it greatly in this video:

@Alexo45 Firstly: You're perfectly alright. I guess many of the folks here including myself have been through a phase that is similar to what you are discribing. When you get into existential territory and start to question meaning itself it's possible that all of life (and ego driven personal development) suddenly looses meaning for a while. Your mind is learning right now that meaning is something artificially constructed. Your ego is triggered by this and wants you to stop, because egos thrive on having meaning. But in fact there doesn't have to be a you for personal development to happen. If you hold that paradox of "development is meaningful" vs. "there is nothing to develope" you will reach a stage where you find, that becoming a great human being is highly spiritual. That's usually when the compassion aspect of enlightenment kicks in.

@Extreme Z7 Thanks for sharing, Nietzsche's Thus spoke Zarathustra was one of the books that planted the seed of self actualization in me, alongside with some Freud. Nietzsche actually spent huge ammouts of time alone, contemplating and walking, so I guess, that he has some level of realization in the domain of consciousness work.

Addiction to communication and internet devices is one of the most common ones, especially for personal developement beginners. It is also one of the most obstructive ones when we start to pursue serious growth of consciousness. Most of us own at least 2-3 machines that offer constant distraction 24/7, which makes serious consciousness work basically impossible. Of cause technology has its upsides and growth is all about balance. So lets find some ways to learn to use our devices rather than being used by them. I just want this to be a big sharing and discussion thread for step by step practical techniques that help us to habitualize using our devices consciously. So post whatever you've got and discuss what works and doesn't work for you. Here are some of the techniques, I stumbled upon: batch your communication Have designated time slots throughout your day for getting to your communication. This keeps you in a proactive state, rather than in a reactive. have device free time in the moring and evening Give yourself some time with yourself at the start and end of every new day. have deliberate intent Before you touch your device, connect with what is your good reason for touching it. This gives you some leaverage on the negative force of distraction that your device offers. Get in touch with your feelings All addictions root cause is for your ego to find something, to distract you from a feeling or experience, that your ego doesn't want to experience fully. Observe your feeling during your meditaion to get in the habit of allowing every feeling just to be, rather than having to distract yourself from it. Mindfullness meditation is a great way of getting in touch with experience. Technology shabat Unplug for one whole day, every week. Shut your devices off satureday night and leave them off until monday morning. This gives you one whole day every week to just be with yourself and the stuff, that is most important to you. Unplugging Have a longer period of ceveraly days or weeks without your devices and internet. Retreats are a great opportunity for that. Here are some videos, that elaborate on these 5 techniques: JP Sears - Winning Your Mind Back! Ending Slavery to Devices Tiffany Shlain - Technology Shabbat Looking forward to hear about your ways of combating device and internet addiction!

@krazzer Definately improved my phone habits as well, by turning off notifications. Still, I find, that I tend to check my phone and messages way too often and most of the time just for the sake of checking them.

If you're a nature outdoorsy kind of person, and want to grow your own food Iwould have the following suggestion: Get yourself familiar with permaculture. It's basically a very systemic way of agriculture, where you design ecosystems by remodeling existing, stable, functioning ones, like the forest, that don't require tons of fertilizer or water input to produce food. Rather than imposing on the earth, its about finding our place in it. You could sell most of your stuff and buy a piece of land and turn it into a garden, that produces most of what you need. Other stuff you can barter. If you want some inspiration, watch the movie Inhabit.

@Wouter Then tell me: How on earth can you solve the issue of overthinking by thinking about it?! At some point thinking has to stop, that's what you want to achieve. There's a Fritz Perals quote about this that I really love: Doing highly physical activities like sports and especially body awareness related exercises gets you in touch with your senses. They also tend to provide you with that "Just do it, don't think about it" mindset, that you can't possibly get by reading or studying more.

@Wouter Reading a book about overthinking will only result in more thinking hence will not solve your problem. Do something practical instead. Get out of your head by going into your body. Imo opinion the root cause of overthinking and trying to understand, is the belief, that there is something that can be understood by thinking about it, in the first place. But in fact thinking and understanding are orthogonal at times and you need to stop thinking and work into some other direction to understand, e.g. do something with your body on the physical level. Martial arts, Tai Chi or yoga are great for that matter.

@MM1988 You can get Leo's list of recommended books. Most of the theory should be there. Here's the thing with radical honesty and relationships. It basically boil some down to becoming more polarizing and authentic. By being radically honest, you constantly show to other people, who you are and how you feel. You put much more emphasis on communicating your stance in this world. Of course, many people won't resonate with that. But the ones that do, do even more so. So you're trading your many shallow superficial relationships for fewer but more meaningful ones. Because you're taking a more defined position in this world people can decide more clearly, if they can identify with you or not. Sure, you may receive more hate from the people that can't. But you will also receive more love from the people that can. And trust me, it's a hell of a relief, if you stop kissing anybody's ass. Regarding not getting any insights about yourself: radical Honesty is a highly practical concept, so try it and apply it in your life, before making any judgment about it giving you insights or not.

@Nadosa My advice would be: Don't worry about it too much. I guess, you are getting to the point where your enlightenment work tries to teach you the lesson of no free will. You can not be conscious 24/7 because, there is no you in the first place. Letting go of the need for control might be the way to go. Joshu Sasaki Roshi's (one of Shinzen Youngs teachers) definition of enlightenment gets to the root of the issue: It's not about forcing to maintain max. level awareness all the time. But to tune into the "natural" changing flow of your consciousness more.

What kind of meditation technique are you currently using? Just as @Joseph Maynor said, it's not that common to hear people talk about an ego death experience induced by meditation. Perhaps you would benefit from some more mindfulness oriented meditation. I guess ego death is easier to face, if you're able to see it for just, what it is.

Your ego is not some thing within you or some part of you. It is you! It's all of you! So why is ego death frightening? It's because YOU WILL DIE! You, that entity that is reading these words and hearing them in his head will end! Forever! And you will not come back! Never! That experience of you, being alive, that you are just in will be over! I am not getting at this from a philosophical or conceptual point of view. This is actually how it feels! Of cause, if you encounter ego death on psychedelics or meditation, after some time, your ego might come back. But when you're at the very brink of it, it will feel, like it's the end, and you won't ever come back. It will feel terminal. You will die! Sure it's too much for you to handle, because you won't survive it! It will kill you. Enlightenment is the most lethal thing for the ego. Notice: I am not saying this, to freak you out, but to show you, that, what you've encountered is perfectly alright. That's what it's about. It should feel that way. If you find that you're not ready for this, don't worry, that's perfectly normal, the ego is there for survival, you probably won't ever be ready. I wouldn't say, that ego death is so common on meditation. I have never encountered it that way. So congratulations, you're making some real progress. In you're mind, you're probably saying something along the lines of: "Oh man, can't I have the insight without ego death. I am ok with anything, if I can avoid this. Please leave this little flame, here on this side of my eyes burning." But, if you want to drive enlightenment home you have to suffer through that. And if you're brave enough and conquer your fear death you will come back victorious! And there won't be anything left, that can harm you ever again. Except, that it won't be you, that comes back. Bummer. Watch Leo's video on 2C-B for additional explaination and words of encouragement.

@elias @Annica Short update on this one: Two weeks ago, I made a post to announce the meetup, which was almost instantly deleted. And I received a message from Leo himself, that he isn't on board with us organizing any sorts of public meetups. It's ok, to meet individual people, but getting crowds together in the name of actualized.org might get him into trouble. But I am still interested in meeting you guys from germany, so if you're from Stuttgart or happen to be around, make sure to send me a PM.

There are all sorts of different ways to organize your practice. Feel free to experiment and play around Imo, there are to main things to consider: What technique(s) suits your personality type? Nobody can tell you that, you have to find out through trial and error. Just as @ajasatya pointed out, if you want to know, if doing two techniques in one session works for you, try for a couple of months and then evaluate. What way of practice suits your life situation best. There are many ways to set up your practice. Key is, that you make it easy for yourself to integrate it in your daily life. If you have to go out of your way to have a meditation session, every day, chances are that missing out on days becomes more frequent. Here is a video from Shinzen Young, that offers a pretty comprehensive outline of meditation practice: Personal experiences: I often practice ceveral techniques in one session. Vipassana and Self-Inquiry (for me they work together great) I tend to do do nothing practice in the evening, since that's more effortless for me. I do more doing type of practice in the morning. I do 5 to 30 min of concentration practice in the beginning of every session, to sharpen my mind. It's a great catalyst for my practice.

Let me quickly explain, how this question arose for me: For some time now, I tend to stumble about all sorts of "conspirative" theories. I have a couple of friends that are somewhat into it and I also get approached by random people in the street, that are trying to sell me on their alternative world views. Everything from 9/11 was an inside job, chemtrails and the toxicity of flourinated water which seem to be kind of common theories to far out stuff, like nazi zombies living on the back of the moon and a friend of mine, who believed, that he was part of the MK Ultra program and thought, he was designed to be a weapon of mass destruction of the US government (he had to spend one year in closed mental institution). Especially the last two are way past the boundary of what the common masses would call insane. However, I just couldn't cope with the answer: "All of this is delousion!" There must be a bigger lesson to be learned. Probably half a year ago, I had a shift of how I relate to this: In my opinion, conspiracy folks are not much different than "ordinairy" people. They had certain model of how some aspect of the wolrd (politics, health, pharmacy, government) works, that they clung to. Then, they got presented with some alternative data (the conspiracy) and changed their mind, to accept the new "conspiracy" model. HOWEVER I see non of them truly learning the lesson. For me, when I heard about some of the theories, my mind went: "Oh, I believed this, but here is another reality to believe in, that is contradictory to the first one. So in fact, neither of them is the actual truth, but my understanding of truth has to expand, in order to encompass both of them. That means, both, the old and the new model are just theories that point to the actual truth, but truth can't be found in any of them." I find the perspective, that there is no actual truth, to be much truer, than any perspective to cling to as truth. So here is my question: May it be worth it to research conspiracy theories to deliberately shatter some of my believes about politics, world history and government? Knowing more different theories, but clinging less to them for me seems to be one way out of the web of believes. Also this might play into the concept of not-knowing.

@Amit Now this is a tricky one! Let's first make a CRUTIAL destinction between the content and the contour of thoughts (I got this from Shinzen Young). By content we define the actual content of the thinking, you're experiencing, what the thought is about. By contour we define define the actual experience of the thinking. How many thoughts come to you in e.g. 10 seconds. Were they are located in you're awareness space. How big they are... Now the answer to your question "Are thoughts also reality?" is very simple. The contour of thoughts is real, the content is illusory. If you really want to grasp this deeply, you can do mindfulness meditation on your thoughts. (This is part of the Mahasi Sayadaw school of vipassana meditation.) Sit down with closed eyes and turn your awareness to your thought stream. Pay attention to the nature of the numerous sensation that make up thoughts. What do thoughts feel like? How big are they? What do they look, smell, taste, sound like? How long do they last? Where are their edges? At any given moment, are they more auditory, visual or physical. The key here is that you get engaged with the contour of the thoughts, otherwise you will simply flounder in content. If taken seriously, this practice is one of the fastest cures for monkey mind.