assx95

This is long. But worth a read I'd guess. 1. I don't understand women at all. They don't care whether I exist or not. And what are your relationships with them? A friend who's trying to be a lover? You simply don't click with them, they're looking for someone else. Bare naked truth. Or else she would have showered you with all attention. No one does. Tragic really. That you aren't worth anything to any woman you know, except your mom. Family doesn't count. 2. If they don't care about you at all, why do you? It's as simple a matter of : you want to bed them, and they don't want that. They are however willing to be friends. It's quite a mindfuck. And I need to understand what's going on. They are all rejecting me, but why? What's wrong with me? I mean, I must be inherently flawed if every single woman I encounter ends up not caring about me at all. How do I fix that flaw? And when I do fix it, would you really accept the same women who ditched you cause you were imperfect and flawed? You don't see no flaws in them, do you? No. I am almost in tears. 3. You've put them on a pedestal. Why would you talk to her if she has no intention of doing that. To generate attraction so that she will. To do so, when it is an authentic expression of who I am, and what were we told about our authentic selves, that there is no you, so what authenticity are you talking about? The kind which expresses right what goes through my mind, even if it's from your needy self? Kinda. I don't think Leo's insights are helping me. Being completely detached, how does that even work? 4. I have failed with women. And why should I trust the bitches who dumped me because I was not good enough? A woman is not obligated to sleep with you. Just because she doesn't feel like, or a thousand other reasons, Agree? You don't actually agree on that. You may feel like fucking her, and they might not feel the same about you. In which case, they'll not want to sleep with you. Which gets you rounded up, for your feelings if you have any, must necessarily have a matching correspondent in the object of your desire? Wouldn't it be perfect if the women you want to fuck, want to fuck you. That would make things so much simpler. 5. I have come to the horrid realization that none of the women in my life give a f about me. They have options. Why is such a reality perfect? I don't understand. I am only hurting here. I am actually hurt. She has indeed treated me like trash, she doesn't love me, let alone care for me as a friend. The moment you treat someone like dirt, and they accept it, it's like losing all respect. I simply don't understand, why they would behave like this. Just say no, and it's the end of the game. In wanting me to not feed bad, they end up making me feel very bad. They've learned to lie and manipulate through this maze. You have been lied to. Start a new life Ash, these women want nothing to do with you, even if you would die for her, she probably won't blink an eyelid. How sad is that? Is that the reality? It's not all airy fairy. 6. What do you really want Ash, in return for this injustice against you? There must be a price that you're willing to accept. Me losing her? You're kidding me. Nothing could compensate for that. But she doesn't think so, she'd trade not talking with you forever for a fancy meal. What? But why? Why is it that the woman I am willing to die for, treats me like dirt? This is grave injustice, and totally not fair. What then do you think fair is ? That she fall for you, cause you fell for her? Just like you chose what you desire, let her choose what she desires, and it's not you. Wouldn't it be plain betrayal, if say, a woman who is ugly fancies you, and you fall for her, cause she fell for you. Where is your choice? Don't think about yourself Ash. Think bigger. Think about her. Literally die for the woman you're willing to die for. Dedicate your life to her, if you care so much. Love her so much, it's only possible to do so after you have sacrificed yourself. 7. Make your life about loving her. She will never know, it was you. And yet you die for her. That's what true love is.But you will fuck it up. I know that. Find that comfort within, let your love for her transform you.

End of week 1 of strong determination sitting- 20 mins. Also, living with minimal stimulation, the only thing i have used my mobile for is the timer. I was tensed today, jerked off twice, but didn't judge myself, and went on about the day. Slept to recover from the tiredness. Studied. Went to the gym to sweat for a bit and came back. I was feeling a bit light headed. Then I had spicy food for dinner. I took notes on Leo's advanced video on happiness. And then i just decided to sit on the bed and do nothing, had a smiley ball in my hand. Music from radio was playing in the background, there was rain. I didn't do anything intentional, and when i look back, i just let go without telling myself i am letting go. And every moment had a rich flavor to it. And i looked upon the room in one frame, not as separate objects, it's hard to describe it. What i can tell - i felt like i was on some mild acid without visuals. And everything was lively. And it just couldn't be described. P.S- I have done LSD twice, and watched most of Leo's Videos.

@Jj13 Yeah.

I've been watching videos from the beginning. I am skipping videos not relevant to me. And taking notes. I'm keeping the content aside on Onenote, and picking out action steps from each video, if any. Here it is so far: 1. You're not taking action. Track a trail of action before you complain of it not working out for you. 2. Use the Sedona Method to eliminate Resistance. Step 1 : Feel the Resistance, don't think about it Step 2: Could I let this feeling go? Step 3: Would I like to let go of this feeling Step 4: When can I let go? Step 5: Repeat the cycle at least 4 times before you judge it for not working. 3. There will be plateaus whilst you try to progress. Expect it. Be consistent on something as simple as practice when trying to master something. Repetition of an action will drill it into the subconscious mind. 4. Failure will give you valuable reference experiences (A causal relation between action and result), also you want to be experimenting and figuring out how things would not work. 5. Be driven by your vision, not by your problems. Counterintuitively when you try to avoid something because it causes you discomfort, that will lead to you being unfulfilled as compared to when you are driven by vision and you're excited so you discount the discomfort and pain. 6. Don't expect constant climax. If you overstimulate yourself, you lose the sensitivity to life, and fail to appreciate the subtle richness of it all. 7. Multitasking will make you miserable. Work in block time (60-90) minutes followed by a 10-15 min break. Focus on one thing at a time. 8. Everyday you will face a choice between comfort vs growth. Choose growth over comfort. You have to be willing to fail, accept some risk and go out there and do stuff. Otherwise you are going to be a bird in a cage, and you will not want to get out even if the cage is open.

@Keyhole The song is lit. I am subscribed to suicide sheep as well. May I have a link to your playlist?

Mumbai, India

@Peo Quoting directly from the Book of Pook : ---- Pook then took the young man to a wall with a majestic painting on it. The painting showed a young man, much like the young man in person, standing before a feminine monster, a sphinx! “What is that monster?” cried the young man. “Why,” said the Pook, “it is All Women, Mother Nature herself! This nasty sphinx devours all hearts and lives of those who cannot answer her riddle. That man, in the picture, he figured out the riddle to Woman. Thus, he became known as Don Juan.” “And the answer to the riddle?” “Is that there is no riddle. Woman is a sphinx with no secret. It is only our minds that we assign her secrets, mysteries, pedestals, and goddess-like status.” ----

Wow. I look forward to experiencing such a radical shift.

@Serotoninluv Check this out. It could actually be helpful to a lot of people.

@cetus56 You mean like wittgenstein- Use the ladder to climb to the top, and then throw it away.

@Serotoninluv I have started taking notes from the very start. I think it would be of interest of many of y'all if i post it somewhere. But then, I have been tailoring it and highlighting for things relevant to me.

@cetus56 If i don't ground myself in anything, then what will become of me? Will I not wander from one thing to another?

I text girls when i feel like, and say what i want to say most of the time. I am mostly nice to them. Why are they not attracted to me and why do they never text first?

@F E A R L E S S No one is entitled to sex, it's a consensual act. If all one wants is sex, then one can visit sex workers or not be so picky to not choose average looking women. What's funny and tragic as well is that most incels reject themselves first instead of letting the woman do the rejecting. Also, they give up way too early. And instead of trying their luck with multiple women, they choose to formulate theories about why women would never choose them, or why they would never get laid. I got rejected 30 times before I landed a date with a cute girl and five phone numbers. Statistics tell nothing about what's real. What was the probability that I, as a sperm in my dad's testicles would be a full fledged human being alive right this very second? Nearly Zero. The limiting beliefs that incels have, turn backwards and make them unattractive and this reflects in their behavior with women. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Go do pickup. It's more conscious to be red-pilled than be black-pilled. And don't whine about rejection, they should think of all the women they didn't choose cause they were not so attractive.

@sargam It's biology. Before I jerk off, i am all sexually excited, at its peak, but after i am done, i lose all interest.

I fancy attractive women with an outie bellybutton. It's a fetish. I've been scared to tell that to anyone. Also, i find some unattractive normal girls highly erotic. I think the point of radical honesty in my case to accept things I fancy which are shameful.

I have fallen in love time and again with no effort. If i tell you any strategy to do so, it would be self-defeating. I don't understand why you're conceptualizing love. And thinking of it in terms of neuroscience. Also, I don't think you can make yourself fall in love with someone, atleast not consciously. And how and why do you draw a distinction between your neurotic obsession and falling in love, when if you claim the former, and don't know the latter, you should technically be unable to draw any such distinction. And not having experienced love, you are formulating a theory to explain it, which is making you get lost in concepts. TLDR : Allow yourself to feel emotions and not get into the chemistry of it all. There is no one other than you, who determines whether or not you're falling in love, when that experience happens.

@Psyche_92 I don't know when the tables turn and they no longer want to talk to me. So i keep doing what i do when things flow smoothly. And i think everything's good for they intermittently do reply to my texts. It's only months later I realize that they were slowly trying to get rid of me. It's a problem on my side to not recognize signs and hints.

@Keyhole @Mikael89 @Shin @mandyjw @Psyche_92 @Rilles It's a tragedy that all the girls in my life I developed feelings for (4 in number) have treated me like trash and in the end disrespected me by ignoring me and being flaky. And each time, I did cry a lot. I didn't want to, but it hurt. @Natasha had told me to not contact her again after she stopped texting me all of a sudden. And i had to not follow that advice because i got a hunch related to her, and I had to tell her that, which I thought was authentic. I lost her now. She's not even seeing my messages anymore. Had she told me she wasn't attracted to me i would have stopped trying. But she had to go through the process of gradually toning down the quantity and intensity of what we had between us, until there is nothing now. And this was someone I knew for three years. I have decided not to go online on whatsapp and Insta, the medium through which i was in touch with her for 6+ months, and focus on my career and on contemplating Leo's videos. This achieves two things: 1. I don't want the neediness in me to act out. 2. I actually focus on things which will stay with me for a longer while. About women: Leo was right, that one is better off becoming completely detached. Not as a strategy to attract women, but when you realize the fluid nature of women: Inconstancy and Impermanence. You never know when that day arrives when she doesn't feel like texting you at all and stops completely. If you are attached like me, you will keep wondering and get hurt. And suffer.

@Shin What kind of details are necessary? I usually compliment them, and talk about things that interest me.

Don't hesitate. If you like someone, go talk to her the moment you see an opportunity. Don't rationalize your way out of approaching her. Take the risk. Rejection is always better than regret.

I clearly identify with how i look. Such that when I don’t look like the way I think I should look, I try to not look at myself, I try to make myself as invisible as possible to others, especially women who i am attracted to. I lose my confidence. And I try to erase off or destroy whatever is trying to ruin that image I have of myself. How do i stop identifying with that ? Such that when I get a bad haircut, or when i get acne in odd places i try to scratch it off or when I have red rashes from dryness on my face. I exhibit such behavior as described above. This is clearly an Ego thing. Isn't it? How do i fix the issue?

Known her for three years, met 5 times, I was head over heels for her, asked her out on a date recently to which she said yes. Would text her almost everyday, and one day told her- "I have a dream, and it is for you to be my girlfriend". She stopped texting. 4 days later, i got an emotional outburst of having lost her, and texted maybe 15-20 lines to her of how i was feeling, how much i cried, and how much she mattered to me. No reply. I then try to reach out to her on other platform- Instagram, Still no reply. When i cried, i felt like the universe doesn't care about how much i cared for her. And it felt bad. How hard was it to able to love her when she became indifferent. Today is day 6. I actually like her very much, and would trade the rest of my life to spend a day with her. I am not going to contact her for a while now. But if she doesn't contact for say 3 months, should i consider that she is now indifferent to me existing and has moved on from being a potential mate for me?

@ValiantSalvatore Thanks for the Book

@Natasha I watched his vids