assx95

I was low-key friends with her. Would text her once in a while. I was tired of repressing my sexual desire for her. So, i asked her, You down to fuck? Then she called me a pervert and a freak, and disgusting. I tried to tell her to not judge me for who I am but it made her more disgusted, i guess. I was only trying to explore the unknown. And it has scarred me. I could have been more nice but the damage was already done. I feel somewhat ashamed of what I did. Of my own sexuality. That i can't own my desires. This is dark. I'm thinking of withdrawing from all Social Media, i don't want to hurt anyone with my words. I probably manipulate a lot.

Wow. Something interesting happened with me moments ago. I could empathize with the women I manipulated. And accept reality as it is. To get in touch with being. And these were my words: "Wow. I am feeling love. Love i've never received. Even though i'm all alone. " I'm trying to unplug from all stimulation, and i notice how life gets trippier when you become more aware. Also, everyone on here is loving and helpful and throws in perspective, that definitely helps. You may lock the thread. The issue is resolved.

This is perhaps the key to understanding women besides interacting with them.

This is a play of emotions. Feel that anxiety and fear coursing through your mind and body. It is better if you do this when you are in the field (the club or the place where you intend to approach). Now, that you have excuses come up for why you can't approach and all those emotions, ask yourself if you could let that go, if not, repeat. Once you feel lighter, you have to bite the bullet and accept the consequences if any, her boyfriend might come out of nowhere and hit you, accept that this could happen ( it did happen with me) and get that out of your system. Notice that there is uncertainty of what might happen, and it makes it exciting and bold and adventurous. Now, without thinking twice, go in there, and give it your best shot, do not hesitate. Just make her feel comfortable and do the best you can. You have to fail multiple times, in order to learn.

@Anna1 I think you're needed here.

Yeah. Thanks Man. You guys were there when I needed you the most, even though we are all complete strangers.

Yeah, very simple and concise. Thanks Man.

Yeah. I want to be humble and be able to empathize. I do think it is the infinite love of God which gives her the freedom to not treat me well, and for me to experience what that is like. As men, we tend to rationalize a lot. Anyway, I want to get purified along the spiritual path.

It's not easy to be ignored all the time by women whom you once considered as friends. I won't make excuses. I lack empathy and respect. But i get treated like trash all the time by women I know in real life.

@Anna1 @Lento I am the devil. I could see through my own manipulations. Life isn't black and white, there are multiple things at play here: 1. I asked her this the night before : "Don't you feel like your life is slipping through like sand? What is it that you truly want to be or to have or to do? Or is there no such thing? And she completely ignored this text. 2. I then had an idea which I thought was genius, it was this " You down to fuck ? I think that's much more meaningful to ask than questions you don't answers to" Initially, i was scared, but then I wanted to explore how the bubble hits the road, I had to get over my fear. And so, I used her as a tool, to test this idea upon. I then told her how I choose not to judge myself for who I am, and then I told her how I find her sexually attractive, i also told her - I am sorry, if it helps. But overall, it was a shock to her, and very disturbing to her core values. I had the courage to be myself. And in exploring what could become of ideas, I had to trick myself to use it on her, how else would I know if it would actually work? The cost was our friendship, which didn't mean anything anyway, after she failed to treat me like a friend.

@molosku Thanks man. I will walk the spiritual path, i have to work on myself.

@28 cm unbuffed Thanks. But already watched it in the afternoon.

Hm. I don't know what to say really. But I can totally see how the spiritual path of dissolving the ego gradually would bring bliss and reduce any suffering.

Lol. I wonder if those guys on "PH" with *** dolls are happy or perhaps miserable.

I was disillusioned with the entire process. At first I was not being direct, and now I am too direct, I need to strike a balance. I have bookmarked this to read again. Thanks Leo.

@Preety_India I am now afraid, that what I thought was love, could have been an abusive relationship with me manipulating all the time. I am realizing that I could secretly have a very dark personality. I think so, because the more I am opening up to people, the more scared and disgusted and repulsed they are. And these are people who are friends. I don't know why I am telling you this. But please could you tell the moderator to lock this thread?

Maybe that's true. I need to have more awareness and stop manipulating people.

I want the moderator to lock this topic. I am not comfortable discussing it. I am ashamed of myself.

This was not her. But yeah, i am in a contradiction of sorts with who I am.

@Elisabeth That puts everything in perspective, thanks.

I will look into this. Thanks.

I don't understand.

@Parththakkar12 @Leo Gura Thanks for the Insight.

Yeah, Teal swan is relatable.

I understand.