assx95

I hid it. I didn't want to crowd the forum with an issue that is more or less resolved. I appreciate everyone's input, including yours.

@Leo Kaminski 1.Being able to sit in a room for an hour, unplugged from all stimulation and not moving even to scratch an itch. (Connection with being). I would say this is synonymous to meditation. 2. Not avoiding emotional labor. 3. Radical open-mindedness which is the same as not sticking rigidly to pet theories and ideologies. 4. Contemplation That's it for now. Things I am focusing on.

How is that any different than what we are right now?

1. What is the wrong answer to any question?

Be in motion. You enter the nightclub, and you see a woman you're drawn to, what do you do? You're already walking towards her. (See how dangerous this looks like to the voice inside your head), you begin talking to her (which involves somehow getting her attention in a noisy environment) without knowing what you're going to talk about ( Again, scary). Put all your awareness in that moment, and your learning begins. I don't know what you'd learn, or whether you'd get success but this is how you learn, by putting yourself in that situation. (I've had a girl's boyfriend appear out of nowhere and hit me, and i've also had a girl give me her number in less than a minute and then we went out on dates)

I love this one girl just the way she is. And she's not responded to my text and it's been two weeks. I sometimes cry and it hurts but I'm able to empathize with what makes her not respond. She wants a kind of infinite freedom and I want an intimate relationship. It is hard for those two values to reconcile. As someone who was needy, and I probably still am, the hardest thing for me to do was to let her be. To let her not respond, and to not manipulate her by sending text after text. I have only begun to love myself, but I have no self-respect, it doesn't strike me as something valuable to have. I'll welcome her back into my life when and if she wants to. But i am unsure of what to do of my own desires to be with her. Expressing myself completely, out of self-love would undermine the kind of Infinite freedom I intend to give her. The only reasonable boundary, and i think this borders on the concept of self-respect, is that if she starts seeing another guy, i'm never texting her again. That's where it hurts most I think, that she might choose to completely undermine what I want. I contradicted myself several times here. I can't help but do that.

At my stage of spiritual evolution, There are moments when there is the awareness that the hands I am typing with (I'm going meta) are some familiarly unfamiliar machine like parts of the reality which surrounds me : The reality where these hands are moving in intelligent ways to make relatively intelligible text appear on the laptop screen in the present moment. If i stop thinking, and remove unnecessary conceptualization in my head, in the present moment, then it gets trippy. Like those weed and acid like vibes (those are the only two substances I've tried) I get high and I find everything enjoyable even the background noise of cars being driven on a distant road, and there is a sense of not fully understanding of what's going on.

Neither. And both. It was fun they said.

I wish I had the opportunity to ask @FoxFoxFox If there is such a thing as fate : The idea that certain things are bound to happen no matter what. I was beyond shocked when he stated that past lives are real. Could someone answer this question cause my whole life I was tackling this one predominant question.

True. After reading @FoxFoxFox 's enlightenment Q & A s, i don't need to stick to beliefs. Also, speaking of relevance, I think we've deviated from the OP's intended issue.

But you're probably not looking through it right now. It existed then. But whatever is your present experience now is reality. Everything else is just concept and your imagination. You are talking of a permanence of objects. A kantian view of noumena.

I do think that acceptance of proof without working on it, is belief. If you're not seeing another planet right now, it's only a concept and your imagination. Same with the nucleas of a cell. Ultimately, how do you distinguish a planet from the perception of a planet if you're looking at it, or what you're doing here is imagining and conceptualizing a planet?

Again, isn't anything outside direct experience, just concept and imagination? Who cares if the earth exists, is flat or an imperfect sphere? I bet the majority of people if put in a room with no internet access and just a piece of paper and a pen wouldn't be able to prove whether the earth is flat or a sphere. Proof here is very tricky.

To put it into context, I am 24 living in one of the metropolitan cities in India. I understand how the term Incel is derogatory to women. Women don't owe me sex. At the same time, my body (or rather I) craves for sexual contact with women, when i get horny. Solo female pornography where women display their selves, is I think one of the most beautiful things a person like me could ask for, where i can choose the women i am attracted to, and pretend to make love to her. And spill myself. In real life however, i look average. I have a girl in my life, but it is long-distance. We haven't defined the relationship yet, but we flirt a lot and act like a couple. Went out with her like 4 times in total over 3 years. Yeah, poor numbers. That being said, the amount of rejections i've had to deal with, in nightclubs or otherwise while asking someone I know on Instagram is say about 60-70 so far in total. If i go to a nightclub tomorrow, i will probably end up with a number or two, but any attractive girl I choose (I know i'm guilty of not picking the ones I don't find attractive, i don't even notice them), will have 10 other dudes texting her, and commenting on her Instagram, and so it takes a lot of investment on my part to even keep a girl's attention, and much more for her to feel the spark if I feel it too. And given how busy everyone has become with their 9 to 7 jobs, at least here, it is like that. There's no time. I know i could just sit back and relax. Focus on other intriguing aspects of life such as books, psychedelics and spirituality in a broader sense, and run the clock out, as it will. I could be genuinely fulfilled as i am when i do strong determination sittings. My parents will force an arrange marriage on me when I turn 30, but i don't like the idea. I could go to Thailand or some Latin country for sex tourism, but i don't like that idea either. At this point in my conscious evolution, i see the meaninglessness in the things that will unfold in the future. Not in a negative connotation, but a sense of indifference. It doesn't matter. and if it does, i will do it. I am a cog in a wheel. I am replaceable even by a woman i love most dearly. I have cried like 5 times in the past when that happened, but now it doesn't break my heart anymore. I try because i don't have the freewill to not try. I just don't see what is there to do or accomplish in this world, than just live it out. Am i just here on earth as a human, to rant, to do my own thing, possibly bliss out, and that's it? I just cannot come to terms with it. With it all.

@Anna1 Hey thanks Anna

On a minor scale i did basically just that, I uninstalled whatsapp and instagram. I want to clean myself of the toxic influences of others as well as give them the chance to feel what it is not to be manipulated by me. Cause I am almost certain I manipulate people, not intentionally though.

@Arcangelo Could you post a link to your pickup journal? I can't find it.

Possibly. Analysis focused. Number crunching. Ask an MBA Finance how he gives presentations. That's basically it.

Kind of. I am working on being unconditionally happy.

I think your breakup was hard on both sides. Hurt on both ends. If two people are malleable enough, the relationship could work. Don't you want to give him another chance? Have you asked him - How he is feeling, after you broke up?

And now I have disabled my Instagram and Uninstalled whatsapp. She wanted freedom, and I intend to give her that. I want her to be free without me manipulating her in some way. Also she makes me happy, whether she is with me or not with me. Maybe she has already dumped me, but i have peace of mind right now. Yeah. I am predominantly anxious and she is avoidant.

@Cineva Anna is probably a genius for suggesting this, consider this.

@Preety_India @flume @DrewNows I think life is much more complex than a simple theory which explains all relationships. There is the unknown and there is the familiar, and you don't know if the very next moment, someone might flip what they want, a 180 degrees. That's the reason I don't have boundaries, unless it is absolutely necessitated. I don't understand respect. It's a very flimsy and shifty concept. Since the self constantly changes, and respect is an additional layer on it, you can't absolutely have respect for your self or for other, it is a self-imposed concept, and superficial imho. @Preety_India Your common sense is not so common. Not everyone behaves the same way. And not all circumstances are the same. The context is a deep rabbit hole which goes on infinitely if you keep going. You know what you're talking about, but I think you're neurotic in setting boundaries. Also even she admits that she doesn't know what she wants, and who she is. So how can she absolutely want space ? And how is anything obvious?

If it feels irresistible, then it is irresistible. Have proper expectations: You will relapse many times. Accept this. It won't happen that you commit to not fapping and then it's done. I found something better and sexier : Sexual visions and dreams, the ability to imagine and feel any woman riding you, the ability to get a boner and be horny all the time, the kind of energy that comes with that, the love for life that you feel. The connection to being. For you though, generally speaking, you keep finding the niche of porn that is sexier and more fetish oriented, and it is very good. Kinda irresistible. You will go through withdrawal symptoms. But if you've seen enough of what you find enticing. Your mind will find a way to recreate it or replace it with something better or an equivalent if you completely cut off that source. Be motivated by what could be possible. If you want to really quit, just sit there and do nothing. Watch your urges arise, stay and go away.