Shin

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi

Your capacity comes from failure, learning from it, and working your ass off on the long term. There is no such thing as an easy way in life, you can't accomplish great things just because you're "gifted". Being gifted only gives you a 5/10% faster learning curve ... Read the biography of some successfull people, you'll start to see that most of them weren't talented at all to begin with ... Your problem is that you're in some sort of depression, I was like that for 8 years, in a matter of a year, I switched to: - Virgin -> healthy relationship - Judgmental asshole/Anxious about my look/behaviors -> Doesn't give a shit, at all, BUT I try not to offend people and help them as much as I can without betraying myself - Always stressed/living in my head -> Way more conscious of my thoughts and what thoughts are, I think a lot less than before, and I can force my brain not to think (or more accurately, sensing the pre-thought and refuse to go along with it). - No diploma/no goal -> Bachelor Degree, currently doing an accountant degree (which I won't get on purpose to leave room in order to find my real life purpose). - No physical activity whatsoever -> 1 hour of hiking every day, 1 to 2 swimming session per week - Living in my parent's house -> Living in my parent's house (It will change everything, so I don't rush it, but it will happen in 2017) I was really low in my self-esteem, I had suicidal thoughts, there was no point to anything ... So how did I do all that ? Well, that's the problem, I don't really know, but what I'm sure of, is that you need to socialize more, questioning your thoughts all the time (negative ones), and the most important of all, Force yourself to have a meditation habit A meditation habit will raise your awareness, and more awareness equal more understanding of your thoughts, more understanding of your thoughts will lead to less association with your thoughts, and finally, less association with your thoughts will brings you more HAPPINESS. Watch these videos: https://www.actualized.org/articles/benefits-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-meditate Trust me, if you can keep your meditation habit sticks for 2 months straight, every day, no excuses, It will be the most profound and important habit you will build in your life. You have no idea how important it is untill you do it for at least 3 months. I come to the point where I want to meditate for most of my freetime, it is THAT GOOD.

You didn't seem to have found your life purpose yet. If you're on your life purpose, you don't just feel it, you know it, you're it, and goals, that depends on what you call goals, but a goal can be achieved, a life purpose, by definition, can't (you'll always do it, it has no ending). It doesn't matter if you've fixed all your negative habits, and have good ones now, even if you crushed all your neurosis, it is still not enough. Finding and aligning yourself to your life purpose, that's what you need to do, everything else will be secondary when you'll do that, and by the way, it's the only way to have true happiness.

Fear is only a reaction from your ego in order to stay in homeostasis. You got to go to the point where no other opinion are important anymore, you will listen but you won't really care, because you will know that you're most certainly the only one who will have the balls to do what you got to do. It is really scary, to know that no one can really understand you, and that no one will ever help you untill you get to the point that your cause is seen as valuable (or already done), but that's what growing as a human being is, it's supposed to be painful, pain shows you that you're on your way to greatness !