@Ayla
I completely agree with you on this, to focus on myself! I really have become quite recluse since I've come home to take care of my parents. The only reason I've been able to date and meet guys is because of online dating websites and facebook. I've put up appropriate photos (that are not sexually suggestive, and wrote a nice bubbly and friendly profile).
I'm quite a tomboy which doesn't help. I attract men (with out even trying and being myself) that are already in relationships with someone else and the women look at me like they want to kill me! I think I've put my feminine side on hold for too long. I think this is apart of my life that I'm really missing and want to bring back. I miss the days in my early college years where I was consistently active and adventurous and going out with girls my age. I was completely focused on myself. I wasn't thinking about men, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
I also think enlightenment and personal development is important. I took a break from seeking enlightenment because it was overwhelming. It was making me depressed so I had to stop for a while. I think I need to work on that too. That's also missing and would make me happier. I think women do have a tendency to have a tougher time with enlightenment more than men. This is because if a woman wants to have a family and kids, she has only a short window of time to make a decision. Men can wait until their 50's and 60's to have kids if they want...women can not. Yeah you can adopt, and it helps the world a lot, but it's not the same as the spiritual experience you have from being pregnant and giving birth. I think about that...I question if I really want to get married and have kids at all. ...if that will make me happy. I think I need to do some more self discovery.
You know what they say....when you stop looking, the person just falls into your lap...literally! lol
