Peace and Love

@popi I think I'm worse than he is..... ha ha ha. Life is too short. I can't live my life trying to impress other people. I have to embrace and love all of me, even the weird and the dorky stuff! lol

https://www.poopourri.com/ She should have used poo-pourri..... Tis the season to smell Jolly! lol But seriously though this is a problem for people, especially women and it's very unfortunate. I used to be one of those ladies, and I totally get it! The pain and agony of holding it in...not good, and certainly not healthy. I'm sorry to hear your ex went through that.

@popi @Leo Gura Leo!!! I have no idea what you are talking about! Girls Don't FART!!!! LMAO!

Keep an open mind...You never know where you can find some good music! Don't be afraid to post! This one is for the spiritually inclined individuals out there. 1.) Tell Your Heart To Beat Again By: Danny Gokey 2.) Song Lyrics You're shattered Like you've never been before The life you knew In a thousand pieces on the floor And words fall short in times like these When this world drives you to your knees You think you're never gonna get back To the you that used to be Tell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday's a closing door You don't live there anymore Say goodbye to where you've been And tell your heart to beat again Beginning Just let that word wash over you It's alright now Love's healing hands have pulled you through So get back up, take step one Leave the darkness, feel the sun 'Cause your story's far from over And your journey's just begun Tell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday's a closing door You don't live there anymore Say goodbye to where you've been And tell your heart to beat again Let every heartbreak And every scar Be a picture that reminds you Who has carried you this far 'Cause love sees farther than you ever could In this moment heaven's working Everything for your good Tell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday's a closing door You don't live there anymore Say goodbye to where you've been And tell your heart to beat again Your heart to beat again Beat again Oh, so tell your heart to beat again 3.) Topic Category: Personal Development, Dealing with Grief/loss 4.) How has this song/music helped you to grow and progress on your journey? This is a personal favorite of my mother's. We are recently going through the loss of my dad, and has inspired us with hope and love. Life is like a roller coaster with many dips and turns. We will have things that in our life that can cause us great sorrow. We must not give up on our journey. Tell your heart to beat again! Don't give up! Life goes on! Things do get better!

1.) Full Chakra Healing ~ Spa Music w/ Binaural Beats + Isochronic Tones (ZEN, REIKI) 2.) Song Lyrics - N/A 3.) List Topic Category: Meditation, 4.) How has this song/music helped you to grow and progress on your journey? - This is the music I specifically use while meditating and while working with hypnosis/reiki clients. I really love sleeping to this as well. I sleep like a rock, and I feel very energetically balanced in the morning.

@Bebop Great song! Thanks for posting! I'm trying to think or more! I hope we get more posts soon!

Eiffel 65- Now is Forever 2.) Song Lyrics We should think about, what we got right now, cause the good things are made up of time. Smile to your problems, leave the past behind. Never forget this. Find the truth in your soul, keeping you alive. Going on from minute to minute. Dont shade the future, with all thats behind. Live for today. The past is all that's gone, the future is yet to come. This moment is all our own. We should live this way, just building up our day, now is forever. The past is all that's gone, the future is yet to come. This moment is all our own. We should live this way, just building up our day, now is forever. Dont shade your future, with what you dont have. Keep your mind on whats here today. Now and forever, build the future now. Keep this in mind. Though you will take your time, to get what you need, but youll do it step after step. Yet to come is all thats gone, learn to live this moment. Live for today. 3.) Topic Category: Personal Development, Letting Go, Living in the Present Moment 4.) How has this song/music helped you to grow and progress on your journey? I think it is so important that we let go of our past and forgive others. We can get so caught up with text messages, facebook, addictions, negative thinking and worry, etc. and not focus on the present moment, which is the only thing that truly exists.

@Ayla Thank you so much for sharing your journey, and passages. My dad recently passed away of stage 4 colon cancer, and my mom was reading the Psalm of David to my dad as he took his last breaths. It was a beautiful emotional memory for me and my mother. Thanks for posting this.

Hi Leo, I thought it would be interesting, and it would mean a lot to me to hear your take on dealing with the death of someone that is close to you like a family member, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. from a high consciousness/ enlightenment perspective. How do you deal with grief in a healthy way? When does it become considered unhealthy? My dad just very recently passed away of stage 4 colon cancer in October. My mom and I literally watched him die in our arms as he took his last breaths. It has been a very emotional time for the both of us. Dealing with the absence of someone can give people many mixed emotions- grief, anger, depression, etc. It can make you question your life purpose. Sometimes it can stunt someone's personal development growth when they are pursuing their journey of enlightenment. How can grief be used to enhance personal development and even enlightenment? As an optional add in: Considering that you have added a few paranormal books to your book list....What are your views of dead loved ones communicating with you from the other side? I was having a lot of very spiritual incidences around his death (which included my dad consistently seeing angels and spirits, and his dead brother within the span of last two weeks of being alive. And after my dad passed away he made attempts to communicate with my 12 year old niece by sending her "Clairaudience," messages in her sleep.) It is that time of the year where families and loved ones gather together for the holidays, and these times are the toughest to get through especially when someone has passed on to the other side into absolute infinity. I'm sure everyone in this forum has had at one point dealt with the loss of a loved one or at some point will be experiencing that. It would be good to be mentally, spiritually, and on a conscious level prepared of what is inevitable to come to everyone. Thank you Leo!

@Leo Gura I thought you might want to see this. As I am still learning about Reiki myself and constantly will do so because it directly involves my life purpose. This is what I've discovered online while searching Reiki and enlightenment. I'll let you come to your own conclusions and answers. Everyone has their own path to take, and what may be right for someone else may not be right for you. Let your intuition guide you on your beautiful infinite life journey! Find and discover your own sacred truth! http://www.reiki.org/reikinews/spiritual.html This article is written by William Lee Rand, the c-founder of Reiki.org and is the instructor and writer of many Reiki books, etc, Another beneficial process is to use the distant symbol to send Reiki to enlightened beings such as Jesus, Mother Mary, Buddha, Krishna, or God. Once you feel the energy flowing, ask them to help you fully express their enlightened nature in your everyday life. Or you can also ask your own enlightened self to help you assume its enlightened nature as your true identity. There are many different classes and levels of Reiki you can take once you are officially a Reiki Master. Several months ago, after watching your enlightenment videos I decided to research and see what Reiki can do to help me achieve enlightenment. From what I can see from my research there is officially an Enlightenment Reiki Symbol that you can use once you are attuned in that specific class. My goal is to take this class at some point, if this is indeed real. The symbols do not work unless you are attuned to them. http://www.kathleenmilner.com/tera_mai_symbols.html http://www.tera-mai-conversation.com/1/post/2015/07/tera-mai-akasha-seichem.html AKASHA was given to Marla Abraham after she took my Reiki Mastership class. This symbol was originally called Planetary Healing & Enlightenment. Akasha means Ether. In July 2015, Buddha added the 5th element, Ether, to Tera-Mai Akasha Seichem . Ether binds the elements of earth, air, fire & water, and elevates the healing abilities of Tera-Mai Seichem. POWER of FIFTH ELEMENT, ETHER: - Ether clears out hidden, dark energies in the energy field that surrounds us. - Ether gets to core issues. The Truth comes out ! - Expansion of consciousness and knowledge, which brings enlightenment! - Access to Universal Records. We might know who we are, and our connection to The Loving Creator. - Creativity! - Clears our timeline and other lifetimes. - Ether is able to bring us gifts from our other lifetimes into the present.

@Leo Gura Hey Leo, Have you seen this youtube video? "How Wolves Change Rivers"? It talks about how carnivores GIVE LIFE to other animals. The short video clip talks about how Yellow Stone Park was absent of wolves for many years which created an over population of deer and elk. And because of this over population of the deer and elk the vegetation was pretty much destroyed and barren. Hunting by the human population unfortunately does not solve this problem. We NEED carnivores even though many people are afraid and killing them. When they reintroduced a few wolves into Yellowstone Park (in 1995), radical changes started taking place. They chased the deer into different areas allowing vegetation and trees to grow back, which attracted migrating birds and helped to repopulate other animal species. I think there are a lot of things we don't understand about nature that we have yet to discover. There are studies being done about how carnivores benefit our ecosystem and the roles they play in saving it. Apparently from what I can see we need BALANCE. There can be no good without the bad. But who is to say that these animals are bad when they play such a huge role to other species' existence? https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/jan/09/carnivore-cleansing-damaging-ecosystems http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/20165/20160223/fear-large-predators-helps-keep-ecosystem-balance-video.htm "THE FEAR" large predators instill in their prey may be the glue holding ecosystems together, according to a new study. Aside from hunting prey, and therefore controlling population size, large carnivores paint what researchers call a "landscape of fear," inhibiting prey from feeding and restricting them to designated areas only. It is believed that this sense of "fear" can facilitate cascading effects down the food chain. These results have critically important implications for conservation, wildlife management and public policy," Liana Zanette, a wildlife ecologist from Western University, said in a news release. "We have now experimentally verified that, by instilling FEAR, the very existence of large carnivores on the landscape -- in and of itself -- provides an essential 'ecosystem service,' and failing to consider fear risks dramatically underestimates the role large carnivores play in structuring ecosystems." https://www.newscientist.com/article/2078511-just-the-fear-of-big-predators-can-alter-an-entire-ecosystem/ Just the fear of big predators can alter an entire ecosystem This one is interesting too.... How whales are important to keeping fish ALIVE and effecting our climate. Removing tens of millions of carbons from the atmosphere every year. The return of the great whales, if they are allowed to recover, could be seen as a benign form of geo-engineering. It could undo some of the damage we have done, both to the living systems of the sea, and to the atmosphere. We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.... "When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe." - John Muir

This is a very interesting personality test, although I'm not too familiar with it. Here are my results.... Your personality type is: Mediator (INFP-t). That pretty much sums me up. lol. I love how this website goes in great detail about the different personality types, giving the strengths and weaknesses and areas to focus on. This insight is a powerful tool for personal development.

Hey Friends of Actualized.org, This is my first post. I really want some serious honest help and feedback with this. Inappropriate comments I will not answer or respond to. Just FYI. I will not be giving out any personally identifiable information for my safety and protection. I have an interesting dilemma here. I'm an ex-adult entertainer. I was in the field for 7 years and recently retired a few years ago and have moved on into a new career. (I go by a different name with my career so I'm not identifiable). I had my fun, but I also had my scary moments in the field too. I got therapy for it, and am completely fine and have moved on. I don't even identify with it anymore, but I see it as an experience that's helped me grow personally. I haven't been dating or in a long term committed relationship for over 8 years now. The problem with being apart of the adult entertainment field is you get a lot of experience in the bedroom. In fact you become really really good at it....to the point that men, well it seems like normal men can't keep up at all. Like when they're done, I'm ready to go again in like the next 5 minutes. And then again after that. (And no I'm not exaggerating about this). And it doesn't help that I'm a health nut, so it makes the problem worse! I just have all this energy, and I feel like the partner I'm with can't relate and doesn't want to reciprocate. Most of the men I've run into personally throughout my entire dating experience before and after my adult entertainment career and professionally have been completely inexperienced and incredibly selfish. They are completely in it for themselves only. It's like there is no foreplay and once they get off they're done, and that's it. I do my part on my end and they absolutely love it, but when I give them feedback or direction on what I like and what turns me on (and I'm talking normal intimacy stuff) they just ignore it. There is no satisfaction for me. It's like I get no benefit from it at all. The last guy I dated I sent him Leo's video's on how to have great sex for direction...he didn't take my advice. I soon after dumped his ass. I have an intense fear of ending up in a long term committed relationship with a guy that is absolutely terrible in bed. I know everything in a relationship is not about sex. I'm extremely big on communication, but these days when it comes to dating here in the United States, people want to have sex after the first few dates. It has become the norm. I'm not sure how to go about it, or how to approach it to have success. My goal is finding a long term intimate relationship with someone I can love and care for, and grow old with, and vice versa. There is more to the story...which makes it even harder for me to date. I have started dating again. I have no problem finding men at all that are attracted to me, which is great. But....most of them I'm not attracted to at all, I'm not Lesbian, but the majority of men that I've encountered just don't take care of their bodies and appreciate health like I do. I'm not vain, or a “shallow hal” but I do believe that I should have some sort of physical attraction. The good news is I'm not famous or anything so it's not like I have to worry about a guy noticing me while walking down the street...... however several years ago I was on the news for something non related to my adult entertainment career. This specific news article unrelated to adult entertainment blasted my name all over the internet but they mentioned I was in adult entertainment!! Which is a huge problem. I did it for a good cause at the time, and I helped a lot of people because of my news article. (sorry I can't list it for my protection, I really can't take the chance with my safety). So anyone that looks up my full name sees it in plain sight. Most people don't find it because I go by a different name but if I'm dating a guy he's going to find out eventually. It's completely inevitable that it will happen. So sooner or later they find out I'm an ex-adult entertainer. I've tried the approach of telling them up front usually within the first few dates that I'm an ex-adult entertainer. I think it's important to be honest and have good communication. Once a guy finds out I'm an ex-adult entertainer it's like I'm not even human anymore. This goes for a lot of my guy friends and men I've dated. It's like I become a piece of meat and they want to know every detail of that part of my life I don't even identify with anymore. They immediately want to have sex, and the relationship completely collapses and I end up having to break up with the guy because I'm just some piece of arm candy. I love myself enough to walk away from an abusive situation. I deserve so much more than this. It would make sense to just wait on telling the guy. As long as possible. But the problem is I have this fear the guy is going to be terrible in bed! Lol Yes this is a serious fear. And from my experience if you get too intimate too quickly in a relationship the guy has no respect for you, and there is no reason for a guy to want to have a committed relationship because he already has the benefits from being in one. What should I do? How should I go about this? I'm completely serious about this. This is not a joke or a prank, or someone seeking attention, this is my real life situation. What kind of guy should I be looking for? Like specific characteristics? (Like a guy that is naturally more romantic and intimate? A man that may be more communicative and non-judgmental?) Thank you everyone for your help!

@StarfoxEpiphany @flhugoboss @Salaam Wow, Thank you so much for writing me back. It's nice to have multiple perspectives and point of views on my personal circumstances. I haven't been on this forum for a while. I changed my values and my perspective and have primarily focused on personal development and actualization. I no longer associate myself with adult entertainment. It's just a phase of my life that I went through and I learned a lot from my experiences. I don't even think about sex anymore. It's like I'm not even interested in sex at all!!! It's weird. I see how sex can be an addiction for some people and a potential issue for myself. I did a lot of reflection on my past dating life, even before I got into the adult entertainment industry and I could see where there are areas needed for improvement. But what's so interesting is I'm not even interested in dating anymore. I just find so much gratification focusing on myself. When I was looking for a date, many women like myself get into this obsessive mode about finding a boy friend and we just drop everything we're doing, and literally ruin our lives to be with a man that may not be interested in us or willing to reciprocate those feelings. I found out that finding a boyfriend to fulfill my needs was starting to become an addiction, especially the feelings of finding one, and I just don't like how I feel. I don't want to need anyone. The only person I need is myself! The negativity is just not worth my time anymore. I like the growth and improvements that I'm making and where this is all going and I'm just not willing to give that up for anyone anymore. I like being independent. I like being adventurous. Unless the guy resonates with personal development and my values I probably won't even bother. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in bad company. I will agree that the people you attract into your dating life have a lot to do with how you feel and treat yourself. If you find yourself to be important and special and lovable people will notice these things. If you don't put up boundaries, (boundaries which is a form of self love), people will walk all over you, even if they don't intentionally mean to do so, causing abuse and mistreatment. They say the fastest way to fix a relationship is to change yourself. You can never change the other person, but if you change yourself you change the way other people respond to you gaining their love and respect. I'm sure I will eventually find someone. I just have different priorities....the right kind,....where the focus rightfully belongs, on myself! And not on anyone else!

@Salaam No worries. I haven't been on the forum much either. I've been busy doing alot of personal development work. I would love to hear what you have to say when you have the chance to write back.

@Mess HI Mess, http://www.christianreiki.org/ http://www.reiki.org/ Here is a link that has more information about reiki and Christianity, that show stories of nuns, priests, and pastors that use Reiki in the church. There are a lot of Christians that use Reiki as reiki is not a religion. I know quite a few reiki masters that are Christian and others that have other religious views. Reiki is considered spiritually guided energy.....and I've heard William Lee Rand the owner of Reiki.org also define it as the "Holy Spirit" in one of his instructional videos. The second link is from the International Center of Reiki where you can find out more information and look for a reiki master so you can become attuned to reiki. You need to become attuned to reiki for it work. (As I am attuned to reiki). It is very very rare that anyone is naturally attuned to reiki, but it does happen. We all have the ability to channel reiki and use energy healing, we just have to turn on the switch. There are many different types of energy healing, such as healing touch that is now used by a few nurses and other health providers in the medical field....( btw Reiki is also used in more than 80 hospitals in the United States) acupuncture is considered energy healing because it deals with the meridian lines, that are channels. And when two or more channels cross together is called a chakra. We have approximately 440 chakras in our body, but there are 7 well known main chakras that run along our spinal column, and center of our body. Good luck on your journey.

@SomewhatAnonymous Hi somewhatAnonymous, I thought I would put in my two cents about this. I actually have two people in my family that are married to spouses that are significantly older than they are (15/20 years) and they were both happily married. Let me list the examples and their experiences. My great Aunt Elizabeth who is now in her 80's had a husband (is currently deceased) Uncle Albert that was 15 years older than her. They were madly in love with each other. My Uncle Albert had the opportunity to become a professional baseball player, but he loved her so much that he decided not to pursue his career. And he was happy with that! They spent a lot of time traveling together and hosting family gatherings....the things that really matter. When you really love someone you discover that money and fame isn't everything it's out to be. The ones that love you that are close to you are what matters the most. My second relative is my Cousin Debbie. She is in her 40's and she is married to her husband Ed who is in his 60's. In fact Ed was previously married and has 3 daughters that are OLDER than my cousin. Yes this is a TRUE story. And on top of that my Cousin Debbie and Ed just recently had a baby together, little Abigail. They are happy and they don't care what anyone thinks. I know that my Cousin's parents...my aunt and uncle...were upset at first about the marriage...but you know what....love is about the relationship you have with someone that you love...between two people...you're not out there to impress someone else or make someone else happy. ....it's about what's right for you. And now my cousins parents are fine with it, and now they have a grandchild. Love is a funny thing....you don't pick who you get to fall in love with....it just happens. Oh and I forgot this too. I actually have two best friends that are 40 and 60, that have been together for over 20 years now. So when they met one was 20 and the other was 40. Some people are into that, and nothing is wrong with it as long as you are happy. In fact for a long time I was madly in love with a guy that was in his 50's and I'm in my early 30's. I didn't care that he was older than me. We had so much chemistry you could blow up a science lab! lol. It ended up not working out but I can tell you this....if he proposed I would have without a doubt said yes! So I want you to know that it's ok be with someone that is older than you, as long as it's a healthy relationship, and you love each other. Now on to the other stuff.... Am I letting someone super special go because I can't deal with a (potentially) superficial issue? Or what is the issue here? Why am I so conflicted? I think there is something underlying going on here. If you were traveling and you can have just as much chemistry with someone else you have to wonder if something is really there between you and your gf. Also this happens too a lot of times in a relationship. If you are seeking other women outside of your relationship that means there is something lacking or missing in your current one. Are there any red flags you are over looking? From what you are telling me in the list she sounds like an awesome woman, but maybe she isn't the right one for you either. And that's ok. Ask yourself this honestly....Are you afraid that you won't find someone else that is younger that has the same qualities? If you want someone that is closer to you in age, and that is really important to you...I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Men are naturally biologically wired to be attracted to younger women....to youth and beauty. This is because the younger woman will be more likely to be healthier, survive and have kids. We live in a world that no longer has to play by the rules of biology. Start asking questions......Why am I doing this? What is really going on?

@Yukise99 hi Yukise99, I used to be extremely addicted to video games while growing up. I was an avid collector and had all the vintage game boxes, magazines, consoles, etc. I was introverted at the time and would spend the majority of my time playing video games when I wasn't working or at school. I later on discovered that I was using video games as an emotional crutch because I didn't know how to get along with other people in high school. I was made fun of and not well liked. When I got into college, and made a few girly friends, I became extremely outgoing and I no longer was interested in video games anymore. As long as you have a desire to change that is what's most important. If you are at home in front of a tv screen playing a console, on PC, or on your Iphone the majority of the time... you need to ask yourself why you are doing this? Start asking questions. Am I using games as an emotional crutch? Am I afraid of success? What is really going on? From people I have talked to that I know working in the therapy/mental health industry, I can tell you that an addiction between drugs, food and video games is really not much that different from each other. It's like picking your poison....what do you choose to become addicted to? What are you using as an emotional crutch...an escape...to deal with stress...to cover up dealing with problems? A lot of the time the solution to breaking a habit and creating a new one is actually planning things out step by step....a vision....an obtainable goal. You don't have to completely give up video games if you don't want to. But if you make dedicated time in your schedule to work on self actualization and pursuing your career it's going to be a lot more obtainable for you. Think baby steps. Put in your phone or calendar....I will dedicate such and such time (like a few hours a day, or whatever works for you) to work on self actualization or pursuing my career. And hold yourself accountable to it, or have someone else that will hold you accountable so you can get things done. Come up with a list of reasons why you want to become self actualized and pursue your career. List ALL of the reasons, and pick out the ones that resonate and have the most meaning for you. That will help drive you and keep you motivated. Also you may want to ponder what your life purpose is. Start asking questions about that too. I took Leo's life purpose course and I loved it. It gave me that direction and fulfillment I was looking for.

@Choks By no means am I car savvy or knowledgeable about cars.... but what about making/designing/inventing cars that are more environment friendly? They've already started to create cars that are electric.....what about solar powered cars? etc. Why not be able to travel, but without the expense of hurting Mother Earth? We need people out there like you that can come forward and emphasize how important it is to take care of the world we live in. Just an idea. If you wake up every morning and you are excited and look forward to working with cars than perhaps it is your life purpose. And if you can find a way especially to give back to others, your going to feel that personal fulfillment and gratification you are looking for. If you take Leo's Life Purpose course you'll get a better idea of what your life path is. I took the course and I now have direction and purpose. And who says that you can't do both? Be a personal trainer and work with cars? You could own your own business have people work for you and still have time for yourself and your health. You won't know unless you go out there and take that risk, or find out. But you can take smart risks and do it in a smart way. You could still work with cars while getting your personal trainer certification and then you will know for sure. Also you may want to interview and talk with personal trainers and do research to see how others are doing in the industry, and ways you can improve it and be better. And making mistakes is not the end of the world either that people make it out to be. It's the perception that is important. How we perceive mistakes. Mistakes are for learning and for growth. When we make mistakes we learn what is good or bad, what we like or dislike, etc. Just do it in a smart way so that you can get the best benefit from it. And most important stay positive!

HI @dboyle, If anyone should be leaving you a comment about this, it should be me. I am an RETIRED ex adult entertainer that has worked in the field for 7 years and part of the time I was an Escort. I will not be answering or responding to inappropriate comments. I have been following this thread for the last few months. I was hesitant to leave a comment, out of fear and protection of my identity, but I've decided to grow a set of iron clad balls and write you this message on my opinion of this matter. BECAUSE I really do care. And if I had to do it all over again, I would have never done escorting. It is dangerous and emotional damaging to both parties. It really breaks my heart when I hear about things like this. That people feel that they are inadequate and that to fit in they have to do things out of the norm.... whether it be sex, relationships, or anything else. Before I went into the adult entertainment industry, I lost my virginity to my Bf I was seeing in college. I was 21 years old. We ended up dating for 4 years, and we broke up. And we had sex on our one year anniversary. When I look back at everything....and giving advice to someone else, I would have waited longer. You don't need to impress anyone, and I wouldn't care if the guy was a virgin and never had sex before. Sex is a skill you acquire with time and getting to know the person you are intimate with in a long term relationship. Sex will come naturally to you. What's important right now is your character, being emotional engaging, being confident, being humorous, and most of all being your best self. That's what the RIGHT WOMAN would want from you and what you rightfully deserve. And that is what I would want from any man that I'm dating as an ex adult entertainer. Plus another thing, Sex is like an addiction.... like fapping lol Once you have it you don't want to stop, but in all reality the best person to have sex with is someone you care about, not an escort, and let me explain to you why. Escorts are professional ACTRESSES! That will tell you anything you want to hear. You are hot, you are so sexy, oh that turns me on...yes they will lie their asses off. They FAKE orgasms! Trust me...I know...I was one of them. I FOOLED them every time. And they will try to spend the LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME with you if possible so they can see the next client. This will not be an intimate experience that you will be looking for. Not to scare you, but I have met men that regretted having their first sexual experience with an escort and had to seek therapy because of it. It makes them feel like a lesser person...like they didn't deserve to have sex with someone that loved and cared for them. Which is absolutely NOT TRUE. Having sex with someone you care about and an escort are two VERY different experiences. I also worked in other parts of the adult entertainment field including webcam and as a stripper(the proper name is dancer, if you worked in a high end gentleman's club, like I did). I see the same thing all the time. And I'm sorry to say this, but the MAJORITY of men that seek adult entertainment venues or services usually have relationship issues of some sort....unless they're coming in for that one time for a bachelor party. Trust me on this when I say this....I've talked to a lot of men of all ages, and all backgrounds, you hear the same stories, same circumstances. I was one of the rare ladies that actually cared and played sex therapist with my clients. I generally care about other people and their well being no matter who they are. Going to an escort or venturing into adult entertainment will not leave you satisfied with being good enough in sex, feeling adequate as a man, or give you experience in relationships. Instead it becomes a very expensive spending addiction which gives men this incredibly screwed up view on relationships and unrealistic expectations of women. I only want the best for you. And even if you had to wait longer to have sex, the right woman wouldn't care. The HEART, the SOUL, the INNER YOU, is what matters most. Sending much LOVE and PEACE to you. I know and trust that you will make the right decision. ********************************************************************************************* Just FYI there is a HUGE difference between an ESCORT and a HOOKER if you don't know. HOOKER- you usually find on a street corner, for example: usually a $50 bj ESCORTS- work for agencies, some are self employed. Their are high end and low end agencies. Usually requires the client to have a background check when they call the agency before you can even see the escort. And not all escorts are for sex, a lot of them go on actual dates and RECEIVE DONATIONS. (It is not considered paid money because of legalities).

@Salaam Oh I forgot to ask you a few more questions about how you met your wife. Thanks so much again. Was your wife still working in the adult entertainment industry when you met her? I noticed when I was dancing...yes I was a stripper...that men get VERY possessive. They don't want you to be touched by other guys...which makes sense. It's somewhat of a territorial trust thing from what I could see, even though I had absolutely no attraction to these guys I'm dancing with. It's all an act...strippers are professional actresses...a fantasy. I never dated while working in the adult entertainment industry because the guys I came across wanted me to quit dancing...I couldn't afford to at the time, and they were unwilling to help me out if they wanted me to leave so badly. I know a lot of women that leave the adult entertainment industry can become very hypocritical of their bodies. It's bad enough that the porn, tv, and modeling industry give the impression that women should be walking stick figured barbie dolls. I am definitely one of those women that have left with an emotional scar. In my mind I'm like 5/10 pounds over weight... but men look at me like ok...why would you feel that way? And honestly I really do feel like if I don't look like the pictures there is something wrong with me. This is something that I am currently working on right now. Not giving a crap what anyone thinks of me. It's one thing to take care of your health, but not to do that to impress a guy or men in general. Did your wife feel that way when you met her? Did she have her own insecurities? I hope you don't mind me asking. It just comforts me to know, I'm not the only one that's suffering with this issue. I'm wondering if I would have to do a complete overhaul first of my personal self image before I could see anyone. I'm just seeing which areas I should focus on.

@Salaam Hi Salaam, Thanks for the kind words and sharing your personal story on how you met your wife and what you love about her. It really means a lot to me. It gives me hope that I can meet someone. I know there are great guys out there like you, and that is what I'm looking for! I just haven't quite figured out how to approach it. How long did your wife wait to tell you that she was an ex-stripper/pornstar? I'm wondering if I should wait as long as possible. And how exactly did she tell you...did you suspect it, or did she tell you little pieces of the puzzle at a time? I'm sure her intuition kicked in when she knew that you would be receptive to it. I'm looking for more intimacy than anything. Like what Leo talks about in his videos "how to have great sex". The crazy stuff can come later...but yes...I agree he needs to be open....That is something I should be on the look out for. Most guys I've met are quite mechanical...it's like a robotic pattern,....it's the same thing over and over again. I want adventure and excitement! lol So many people don't explore in their relationships, and that's why things get boring. I would love to find a guy that would read these relationship books with me. The ones that Leo has on his list are great. I think if couples put more effort trying to make the relationship work there would be less separations, divorces and breakups. I definitely think I need to focus on myself and personal development, but I want to be on the look out so I know what kinds of characteristics to look for. I have been in a series of abusive relationships, and I'm ready to break that pattern. I just want to know what the visual cues are that I should be looking for and I appreciate you pointing those out. I also understand my attitude and how I feel about myself directly effects to some degree the type of men I can attract. I totally agree about the porn. My first bf that I had sex with had this really screwed up belief that sex shouldn't have any foreplay in it. Yes he really believed that. He thought if they aren't doing any foreplay...than why do we need it? Like he could just stick it in there. I was very naive then....I was 21 at the time and didn't know any better considering I came from a very conservative background. The sex was painful the majority of the time. And it did leave a sour taste in my mouth for a long time. When I left him, I had 3 months of vaginal bruising .....yes it took that long to heal..... A few years ago there was a guy that I had a huge crush on that I almost dated. We had this connection and we knew each other for a long time but circumstances unfortunately could not allow us to be together. I'm glad things did not work out between us because I was horrified to find out this....He has a very f*cked up view of sex because of porn. I cannot even tell you how much I've seen porn screw with people's heads about what is considered healthy intimate sex. I gotta tell you this guy was into some crazy stuff...he sent me some chick hog tied with a gag being forcefully dunked in a glass swimming pool...while shoving a dildo up her...it was just wrong...and very scary that he thought this was a turn on. He wanted to do some very hurtful things to me....and I ran away in the other direction as fast as I could. I don't even know how this stuff is even allowed on the internet and why people would think someone else would really like that!! I don't want to attract anyone like that ever again! Thanks again for all your help! You rock!

@Elton I got your email. Thanks for the kinds words.

@Dodoster I don't think I deserve the perfect candy by no means....i don't even think I'm perfect and I know I have my own issues. The problem is these guys are not even intimate. And when I have sex I don't have an orgasm....they don't even try to do any foreplay...the guy is just in it for himself...that is what I'm saying. Sex is a two way thing....you're giving each other pleasure....i'm not getting any pleasure...and that's why I have this fear. I think great sex gets better with time and when you get to know each other...but if the guy doesn't even take direction...and doesn't want to turn me on...that's a huge problem. I want what Leo explains in his how to have great sex videos. The sex that lasts for an hour, and we''re intimate, enjoying ourselves...being in the moment..... when I'm with a guy we're done in 10 minutes. .... that's not sex for me...... I don't want something that looks like something straight out of a porno...I want INTIMACY, ROMANCE and a connection that bond you get from being in a long term relationship. The crazy fun stuff can come in later on, but it's more of being receptive to it. What I'm interested in is the visual cues I should be looking for. I've watched Leo's Video (I forget the name of it) but it lists like 40 red flags to look out for when dating and getting into a relationship so you don't end up in an abusive relationship. The men I've ran into have had these red flags.....so they don't even get past the first date.... I completely agree about the geek thing. Being that I was a book worm in high school and college I relate to that better than a sports jock type. I want more of that feminine side that Leos talks about in his "How to be more masculine video"

@Ayla And Thank you!!