Birdcage
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Everything posted by Birdcage
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@Jared Gregory You are right. It's about accepting yourself and being happy with it.
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@milica996 that really helps. I will try that. Thank you so much. Two more items to add to my affirmations
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Think of it that way; we as women ( sorry for generalizing ) usually buy into the life style, the aura and way of living of men if we want something great and long term. We want to feel secure, protected, desired and be able to confide in the man. If the guy is somehow meek, that comes off as weak and deep down we know we can't feel secure inside weakness or carelessness. Think of it as that exercise where you stand your back turned and the person behind you has to hold you when you let go. We wouldn't want to let go if the one behind will 'maybe' hold us or hold and then let go when he is tired.
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Women love men who have passion, self esteem and self worth, who know what they are doing, what they want and are sure they will get it. From the outside, it looks like a big ego. But actually(you know what it is,since the whole enlightment is about that) maybe the reason you are meek is because you don't know what you want or just very comfortable with what you have right now which is completely ok. But since you posted, means you are seeking more. I can tell you that it is great that you are comfortable inside, but from the outside, we want passion, assertiveness. Not an attitude of 'meh, yea fine, I would like that but if not, then it's ok' We want an attitude of 'here I am, I'm great, i know what i want and i get it' without coming off needy or perverted. Hope it makes sense.
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Mine is; Meditate for 20-30 mins( in the evening), positive affirmations(which I do while I shower or run errands just to get it in my subconscious),being aware of negative thoughts and going for positive, journaling each day, besides that the eat well, walk everyday and do Pilates 3 times a week. Besides that, when I have questions or doubts I meditate in those to come up with an answer.
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Am I missing something here. As seen in Leo's and other self-actualization videos, books.. etc it is claimed that ego should be noticed and dealt with, so we can be more in touch with our being and reality. I'm all up for it when Leo says there is no killing of the ego or fighting it, but solely being aware of it is the key. After all, if we didn't have ego and 'want more' in our heads, we'd still be walking on for legs. Where I have a problem understanding is this; happiness is within us and no amount of money, love, possessions will make us more fulfilled. We should find happiness within. I understand that and agree with it but isn't the motivation to actually get off your ass, work, accomplish something, find a mate... etc is for the search of happiness or fulfilment. I know they won't make you happier but then improving your life, career.. etc seems trivial. So basically we might just as well be born, learn to read and write and walk and then sit under a tree for 70 years and look within. What am I missing in here? Isn't the feeling of 'not enough' is the basic motivation for getting moving? I'm not saying desperation is the key, but don't we somehow have those needs so we can actually get up and do something. If not, then what is the point? We should all just sit around and be aware of the present moment until we die, if that's the case. Any thoughts on that will be very much appreciated.
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@Lawrence very eye opening. Thank you for that:) I went on watched some of his other videos on the site. There is not much but still awesome. I absolutely love this guy. I think I'm more on the becoming side instead of being side. Being is my peace but becoming is what makes me fulfilled. I feel more in touch with the universe while I'm in action and mobile. The funny thing is, i don't get tired. The more energy i spent, the more i have. I guess you could say I'm very extroverted. I love talking, listening, I can talk to complete strangers and find common ground very soon and feel very comfortable doing that And it felt great to know that becoming and action is also valid. I currently am reading his book about the 'power of now'. Not so sure about the name translation because I read it in my own language. I'm sure I will come back with more questions
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Ego is basically like a magician standing in front of his magic. So we only see the guy, not the magic going on behind. Now it doesn't have much purpose yet it is so strong. Since the day we are born, it is there, bitching, anxious, worried. How did it get so strong? And when did it exactly take over? Ego's sole purpose might be (from an evolutionary point) to keep us alive. Because there were too many dangers out there. I just had an epiphany and typed like crazy. It happened too fast I could barely write it down. Then got erased because I lost wifi. So I tried to sum it up but didn't come out as strong as it was when it first came to me. Hopefully I'm on the right path though
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@Lawrence thank you. Will watch it tonight
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@Seyed thank you. I will look into that
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My understating in a nutshell is that we as humans are merely tools for the universe to experience itself whether through actions or creating or experience and ego is getting in the way, therefore we must be aware of it. My question is that, if that's the case (and I mostly believe it is) then where is control and power? We have a very limited view of reality and the way it works so the word 'power' in itself is an illusion. But then what is the reason for human beings to have an ego, needs, wants.. etc. In the first place? Don't everything in the universe have a purpose? You might 'like' one or 'not' but that doesn't mean it is not necessary for this whole 'energy' to function In a very very simple example; what is the reason and purpose of being hungry and looking for food when you can sit and just be aware that you are a tool for experiencing hunger, starving and dying? I know it's put too simplistic but I hope you get my point. If we categorise experiences as negative and positive ( which is not useful in it's own contexts and are solely objectives ) then what is the point of choosing one experience over the other? Hence free will, which is survival in its basic core. what is the reason for having ego in the first place? Or did I just answer my own question? That ego is solely there so we will survive Any ideas?
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@Seyed makes sense. Somehow letting the energy of nature/god/universe flow through you instead of being stuck in the illusion of self and trying to guide it?
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I think I somehow get your point. Thank you. I'm kind of a newbie but really fast to learn. Up until now I went through mastery exercises to reveal deep rooted issues. Worked on those. Staying with emotions. At first it was hard, a lot of grief, resentment, anger. Crying a lot. I still do those exercises and 'feel' pretty much nothing. I know it's there but the 'burden of that feeling' is weak and somehow belongs up in the air, instead of inside. So I watch it. The ego, I accept it and be aware of it as much as I can, still have a long way to go though. There was only that issue I mentioned above that confused me. Thanks for clearing it out.
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I'm trying to put in simple words just to make sure I understand. So if I had found my life purpose, then I wouldn't need any outside stimuli to accomplish anything. But purely be a conscious/energy experiencing itself subjectively. Hence creating. I know it is put too simplistically but did I get your point?
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I feel better and look around with a purpose. I'm less controlled by my emotions and feel more grounded. I still have my ups and downs but less downs and more ups so far. I don't get carried away by promises from others. Something weird; whenever I feel I want something(not need it but kind of like to have it), it kind of appears. I don't know if it's selective perception or something else but it does. I feel more calm and I keep working on self-worth issues ( whenever I do deep souls searching, it comes up). So overall, I think I'm on the right path. Basically going through a life changing event at the moment so I will see how it all wraps up. Kind of a newbie here so...
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Lol
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My personal opinion; you have been honest with both of them. You are not going around telling women you are in love with them and want to spend the rest of your lives together. So that puts you in a position where you are honest and open. They might be looking for something more and that's completely ok. I think you should take your time to search what you really want. Keep on dating, building your op sex skills? Settling down? Being single or not? Once you find that out, quit the drama of fulfilling someone else's desire and the fear of losing that person because you are not in the same path(relationshipwise). It is important to know that you want and move on from there. If not, it will come back and bite you in the ass eventually. Im not going for 'hey you have been married for so long, so go around and do pick up now..etc'. Everyone is different. Take time, meditate and find out what you want to experience after all the 'she said, fear, shoulds' are stripped off of your being. Hope this makes sense
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Hey everyone I have been reading E. Tolle. There is one part he writes when you concentrate on a limb ( feet.. etc) you can actually feel the energy flowing, like a tingling sensation. I have been doing that and lately during meditation I started feeling that tingling sensation throughout my whole body, traveling all around, heat and energy, especially in the heart chakra. I'd like to think of it as healing . Any insights or experiences about that you'd like to share or any guides?
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Thank you. I will look into kria yoga now that you mentioned it. To me that sensation was very interesting because I have never felt that before and that energy being in my heart chakra (not at first but over time ) made sense since I'm struggling with opposite sex relationships and going through a challenge at the moment. Being aware of where it is located while going through an emotion and being aware takes a lot of practice. At the moment I can only manage that for a few seconds, then I'm in the ego, then out of it a few seconds.. so on.
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Beautiful. Thank you for sharing
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As much as I would like to agree with that, I don't think this applies to reality. You might come across someone who understands you but still be a dysfunctional match, someone who is so different and help you to an open mind or someone who claims to love you, but is so stuck in his/her comfort zone that you are bound to leave or simply be a great match to a polar opposite that you will be constantly challenged. I personally don't think 'love' is what is portrayed in main society Or a bubbly feeling of 'being one' with the other. Understanding one another is a very important key but that doesn't mean you will be happy or be able to grow together. Just some thoughts
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Turkey, Istanbul here. Roots include Georgian, Yugoslavian, Turkish and Russian. Complete mix:))
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@Ivansmarks I don't that has anything to do with male/female energy. You should work on feeling comfortable in your own skin, accepting you are not better or worse than anyone and that other people's opinion don't matter that much ( yet here I am giving my opinion). I have anxiety when I'm around people I don't know well, but they tell me I look very confident and together from outside. Just know that everyone is worried about how they are perceived. Some of them just hide it better
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@Lynnel wow. The funny thing is, I actually came up with that while I was doing soul searching but dismissed it asap ( cause I seem to have guilt issues since childhood ) something I need to work on... You summed it up real good. It was a like a 'wake up slap in the face'. Thank you for that? Cheers
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I don't think you should overthink that. Sex is just sex and it takes a long time before it gets really good. For most people it never gets real good and just stays below average. So don't expect sparks and rainbows (imho). But keep in mind that you will always remember your first time. If you want to remember your first time by that experience, go for it. At lest remembering the first is true for most women like me.