sagaranupr

Hi all, this is my confession. I had recently posted about quitting weed. U guys had totally supported me in my quest to quit it. Invariably, I failed. I think I have quit but whenever my friends call I go out n smoke some. I don't hang out long with them(somehow feels I get destroyed more if I stay there). I come back n the 1st thing I do is...open YouTube. I watch it uncontrollably long time( I don't watch TV). After a couple of hours I get bored n guess what I set out to play online chess...which literally has never ending number of opponents. All I do is these 2 and it's been almost 2 years I have quit my job to prepare for an exam(which I convinced my parents as to its my childhood dream and don't crush it n all). My friends don't receive my call when I need to smoke it. But when I get a call I can't just say no. This has been my journey. Even today I woke up at 5am went for a good job, came back meditated for an hour(usually I do 30mins). But the worst part is I cannot, I repeat cannot convince myself to get to study(my work towards my goal). This is because yesterday I din smoke n my subconscious somehow tells today evening u will go till then pass time. N I pass time but guess what my friend doesn't even receive the call. I get frustrated n I pass one more day like that. This has been a repeat for an year almost n I can't do anything about it any suggestions? Please help me get to my goals. I cannot find my inspiration to do my work. Thanks

Jog*

Hi, I'm a 25 year old man. I have quit my job to prepare for an exam on joining the Civil services. This is an extrem tough nut to crack. I had passionately chosen my path earlier. But even if I know I should work towards it I am not. From last August I ve been "yet to start" preparation. I dono if I will complete my syllabus even once I have no motivation to do it. The only alternative I have is to go back to my old job but I hate it. As of now I am in my parents basement n I dono when il be kicked outa here too. All I do I spend time on the internet n smoke maruana. What should I do to make myself work towards my goal.?? I can't stop smoking drinking n wanking. I took to meditation 7 days at once n nothing much after. What should I do on a daily basis to make myself motivated to do what I should do n for once not Procrastinate! Please help I'm sick of my life wasting in front of me.

@guru loved ur post. Today I read for 4 hours n teached what I read for 2 hours n it was a productive day after a long fucking time! Just the fact that i wrote something here made me make concious decisions and guess what...Today.. I quit weed n tobacco n it was the first time ever in years that I quit tobacco consciously!! I will sustain this atleast for a week n only then I will make sure I leave these toxic habits for ever (which I will probably come back to eventually after a week which I hate)

Ya I did try the library for a few weeks n it worked but a few days later I found it incredibly boring n started to go out to friends in the name of library. I somehow find a way to not do what I should do : (