Arnold666

Name Scheduling Something Pleasant Purpose/Effects Many of us know that when we are feeling sad and depressed getting motivated to do almost anything can be difficult. We often find ourselves withdrawing from people and activities that we previously enjoyed. Scheduling one or more pleasant activities into our daily life is a way to help increase our positive experiences, social engagement, and activities, all of which can make us more energized and help improve our thoughts and mood. Method Summary In your mind or on paper, come up with one or more pleasant, fun, or pleasurable activities. Then see if you can set up your schedule to do one or more of these activities each day. Long Version § Begin by brainstorming one or more activities that you enjoy doing. § It is best to do this when you are in a good or neutral mood so that it is easier to think of ideas. § Activities can be large or very small, such as going to dinner with friends, taking a hot bath, listening to music, or going to the park. § If you have trouble thinking of ideas there are many pleasant activity lists online such as this one § After completing your list, each day see if you can select one or more activities that you will make time to do. § While you are doing your pleasant activity, try to really pay attention to and be mindful of your experience, focusing on how it feels and what thoughts, emotions and sensations are present. § After a few days or weeks check in with yourself about how things are going and if you wish to schedule in more than one activity a day go for it! § Continue trying to incorporate and make time for pleasant activities in your life as much as possible and notice how it affects your mood and wellbeing. History In the 1950’s psychologist B.F. Skinner was the first to propose that depression was associated with a withdrawal from healthy behaviors. While initially behavioral activation, which includes scheduling pleasant activities, was a component of cognitive behavioral therapy, in the early 1970’s various behavioral psychologists led by Peter Lewinsohn created behavioral activation as a stand-alone treatment. The treatment has since been modified and expanded over the past decades by various psychologists. Cautions Don’t be disheartened if you can’t seem to “get going” or think of pleasant activities- depression makes these things very difficult and it is not your fault! Remember to be gentle with yourself and refrain from self-judgment or criticism if you cannot think of a pleasant activity- this is very common when we are feeling bad. Notes Sometimes we can feel as if we don’t have time for pleasant activities, however it can be helpful to set aside a specific time each day that you plan to do your activity. Also, pleasant activities need not be time-consuming endeavors and can be as short and simple as eating a good meal or taking a break to stretch. If you are having trouble actually doing the pleasant activities, see if you can carve out and designate a specific time to do them into your daily planner or schedule. Remember that the most important thing is to treat yourself with kindness and not to beat up on yourself if you do not do a pleasant activity.

@whoareyou Dude... Just keep on meditate for a few years, it will make sense.

Name Realizing Intention Purpose/Effects Intention is the force directing an act of will for good or evil reasons. Actions stimulated by negative intentions--whether greed, envy, delusion, or hatred--tend toward bad results. By being aware of our real intentions, we can improve the world for ourselves and for others. It allows us to take real responsibility for the consequences of our actions. Then we can endeavor to always act with truly good intentions, to ensure positive results for all. Method Summary Find your purpose, discover what intentions will help you to realize this, thoroughly examine them, and then use them to act with your purpose in mind. Long Version 1. Sit in a relaxed but alert posture, with the back straight but without straining the body. Meditate quietly on the breath and gently center yourself in the body. The posture meditation technique here walks you through a simple but effective technique that will help prepare you for contemplation of intention. Allow yourself to reach a state of gentle disinterest in the everyday goings-on of your world. 2. As you come to this point, come psychologically to the end of your life, not in a frightening or threatening way but in a contemplative way, as if you have just finished an autobiography and are considering the message or moral at the end of that story. Consider your values and your successes. Now, with understanding and forgiveness for your own humanity, consider how you could have better lived those values, how you could have done better for yourself and for others from this future place. Use this gentle consideration from that future to discover what the future you would say to the present you: what is your meaning in life? What is your true purpose? And how could you better fulfill that purpose? 3. Now, coming out of this contemplative state with as much compassion for yourself as possible, write down your life’s purpose on a sheet of paper. Then, underneath this, make a list of core values that reflect this; for example, if your purpose is to improve the lives of the less fortunate, you might write “compassion,” “generosity,” “unselfishness,” etc. Next, use these values as intentions. Create a list underneath the first one with concrete actions that realize these good intentions. With our previous example, these behaviors might be working with a charitable organization, donating time and money. Your purpose and values don’t necessarily have to be this “saintly,” your purpose could just be to be the best life partner and parent you could be. 4. Next, affirm these core values. As shown here, expressing deeply held values allow us to feel empowered. In a mirror or with a friend, explain what you have on your paper: what your purpose is, what your values are, and how you will but those values into action. This friend doesn’t need to respond to your affirmation; he or she just needs to listen. 5. Finally, in a standing position, come into full awareness of your physical body and your mental strength. When you have established yourself as an empowered being, bring into mind one of your intentions, perhaps the one that is easiest to realize. Next, bring to mind the opposite side of this intention: what may stand in the way. Considering this obstacle, bring to mind the decision to act in spite of it. Become fully and entirely aware of the strengths of your present self and of how much it would benefit yourself and others if your intention were realized. Next, become fully and entirely aware of the other side, trying to completely understand its opposite position and how you can appease its needs reasonably without denying your intention. Finally, open yourself to the universe, considering the ramifications of your intention and examining it to see if it truly increases the good of all. Fully examine your intentionality. When you are sure that your intentions are sound, make the decision on what the first step you take will be. History Wise Intention is the second part of the Buddhist Eightfold Path to the relief of suffering; the Buddha said that speaking and acting with a pure mind leads to happiness and that speaking and acting with an impure mind leads to suffering. Later psychologists pointed to discovering intention behind action as a way in which to find meaning in a universe that often seems devoid of it. Philosophers from Aristotle to Kant discussed how intention links actions and results and allows us to comprehend our world and "make sense of it all." Notes The oft-repeated phrase "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" reminds us that intentions not fully examined often lead to bad ends. Use this phrase to remind yourself to look at the root of an intention, not just its superficial appearance.

Name Progressive Relaxation Purpose/Effects Many people are stressed out, and this causes them difficulties at work and at home. They may have trouble falling asleep, or getting a good night's rest even when they do sleep. This progressive relaxation technique is a proven way to chill out, release all the tension from your body, and get some sleep. Method Summary Tense a muscle group as hard as you can, then let it go. Repeat this for each muscle group in the body. Long Version § Lie on your back, with your arms by your sides. Your knees can be raised if this releases the lower back. § It’s best to do this in a quiet, dark room where you will not be disturbed. Make sure all phones are turned off! § Start with the calf of one leg. Breathe in very deep and then let it all the way out. When the breath is out, tense the calf as tightly as is possible. Hold this tension for at least 10 seconds, giving it your all. Then let it go, relaxing it completely, and inhaling deeply again. § Next move on to another body part, for example, the other calf. Repeat the process, tensing this calf for 10 seconds or more, and then letting it relax. § Work with each muscle group in turn. The sequence may go something like this: 1. Left calf and foot 2. Right calf and foot 3. Left thigh 4. Right thigh 5. Left buttock 6. Right buttock 7. Lower belly 8. Stomach 9. Back 10. Shoulders 11. Left bicep 12. Right bicep 13. Left forearm and hand 14. Right forearm and hand 15. Neck 16. Face § Once you have covered the entire body, you can either repeat the process as many times as you wish, or consider yourself done for now. History This progressive relaxation has been taught for decades and works wonders! Cautions This technique can make you very sleepy. It may be better not to operate machinery immediately after doing this meditation. Do not do it while driving.

Name Problem Solving Purpose/Effects Effective problem solving is a tool that can be used in all areas of your life. Two common barriers that hinder problem solving are defining the problem too broadly, and thinking that there are no possible solutions. Learning to define your problem clearly and specifically can make it more approachable. Additionally, brainstorming multiple possible solutions can help you find ones that will in fact work. Method Summary Specifically define your problem, and then brainstorm some possible solutions. Next, rank these solutions in terms of viability. Then try one or more and see what happens. Last, based on what happens, either enjoy the results or revise your solutions based on this new information and try again. Long Version § Choose a problem in your life that you would like to address. § Specifically define the problem, focusing solely on the facts and avoiding interpretations based on feelings. § EXAMPLE: A person might say, “My partner doesn’t appreciate me or the work I do for our home.” However, if this peson focused on observable facts alone, the restated problem could be, “My partner does not help with chores around the house or thank me for the work I do.” The second kind statement is more likely to lead to real solutions. § Once you have defined the problem in this factually focused way, begin to brainstorm some solutions. § Get creative! Write down as many solutions as possible, no matter how implausible they may seem. § This will help activate your creative thinking and perhaps reveal previously unseen solutions. It can also reveal that there are more viable solutions than you originally thought. § Next, rank your solutions based on practicality and effectiveness. § Choose the top three potential solutions and make a specific plan for implementing each one. § Now, rate (in percentage form) the likelihood that each of these three potential solutions will solve the problem. § After analyzing the pros and cons of each solution, select the most reasonable one and try it. If it does not work, move down your list of solutions until you successfully solve the problem. History This method was adapted from a practice created by Canadian psychologist Donald Meichenbaum and later expanded upon by psychologists Michelle Craske and David Barlow in their book Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry. Cautions Be wary of trying to carry out solutions that are too impractical, expensive, or time-consuming. Notes Just because a solution has the highest probability of working does not always mean that it is the best one to pursue. For example, imagine your car has broken down. Although buying a new car may have the highest probability of solving your problem, it may not be financially viable. Use the cost-benefit analysis to determine the amount of time and money needed to implement your solution, and then choose a plan accordingly.

Name Overcoming Anxious Thoughts Purpose/Effects According to anxiety specialists Michelle Craske and David Barlow, when we are anxious we tend to overestimate the probability of something bad happening and underestimate our ability to cope with it. Learning to accurately estimate the real odds of a painful or harmful event actually occurring, and how to formulate a coping plan, can reduce the power of anxious thoughts. Method Summary Work with anxious thoughts by first estimating the real odds that your worry will actually happen and second, formulating a coping plan. Long Version Estimating the Real Odds § One way to work with an anxiety-provoking thought is to write it down and then estimate the real odds that the event it refers to will actually occur. § Estimating the real odds means ranking (from 0-100%) the likelihood that this event will actually happen. § When estimating the real odds, treat your anxious thought as a mere guess, not a certainty. § Ask yourself if the catastrophe you fear has happened before. If it has ever happened to you before, how often has it happened in the past? § Consider the evidence that the feared event will not happen – such as positive factors that will prevent it altogether or minimize it. § List some other possibilities that could happen instead of what you fear will occur. EXAMPLE: If you are worried that your presentation will not be well received, alternative interpretations or possibilities could include: § The audience loves the presentation. § Some members of the audience like the presentation and some do not. § You feel you did a great job and don’t care about the audience’s response. Decatastrophizing & Coping § Assess what the actual impact would be if your feared event actually happened. Keep in mind that most people – and in particular, anxious ones – overestimate the actual impact, the real consequences, that occur if and when a feared event actually happens. In other words, it’s usually not at all as bad as we feared: the consequences are briefer, milder, and have fewer lingering effects that we had expected. § Then consider how you could cope if your feared event did happen. What practical steps could you take to reduce its actual consequences? What could you do to reduce its impact on your emotions? How could you increase positive influences coming into your life to balance, compensate for, or protect you from the negative event? § Remember that there are ways to cope with any event, regardless of its magnitude. Consider how people throughout history – and probably you, yourself – have dealt with difficulty things, even awful things, and gotten through them and survived and moved on and flourished. § If you are at a loss for ways to cope, imagine any step that you could take, big or small, to help deal with the situation. Perhaps ask others for their ideas. § Remind yourself that everything is constantly changing, and that “This too shall pass.” § Realizing that you could find a way to cope with even your most feared catastrophe can be both healing and empowering. History This method was adapted from multiple practices created by psychologists Michelle Craske and David Barlow in their book Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry. Cautions Do not vividly imagine your feared event occurring. If you become very fearful, anxious, or uncomfortable while thinking that your fear may actually happen, please discontinue the practice. Just brainstorming ways that you would cope with your feared event is effective. Please remember that just because you are imagining what would happen if your feared event occurred does not mean that it is now more likely to happen. Notes If you tend to blame yourself for bad things that occur in your life, it is helpful to remember that there are many factors, many we are not even aware of, that contribute to the difficulties in our lives. Also, keep in mind that negative events happen to everyone.

Name Nature walks, ecotherapy Purpose/Effects A walk in nature brings us a serenity by allowing our overstimulated modern minds a chance to rest. It helps us to relax, it lowers our stress, depression, and anxiety levels, it increases our attention spans and memory, and it provides a source of gentle exercise. Spending time in the natural world slows us down and makes us feel at peace; thus nature walks can be very effective as a supplemental therapy for addiction, AD(H)D, anxiety, and high levels of stress. Method Summary Find a quiet, natural area and go on a walk. Long Version 1. If you live near a national park or can take a long weekend to go to one, they are excellent places to begin due to their prolific natural beauty. Otherwise, find a wooded area near you, even if its a city park or a flood plain in the suburbs. 2. Prepare yourself by wearing comfortable clothes that protect you from sun and brambles. Be sure to wear comfortable walking shoes; the walking is as beneficial to the mind as nature. If you will be in a more secluded or wild area, prepare yourself appropriately. 3. Go to the natural place: the more quiet and peaceful, the better. Try not to go for an intensive hike unless you are quite physically fit; you aren’t looking for a workout that might disturb your sense of calm serenity. 4. Walk slowly and with relaxed alertness. One of the beneficial aspects of the nature walk is that it engages your attention in a peaceful way, without demanding it in the way that a walk through a busy city might. 5. Breathe deeply and comfortably, smelling the fresh air. Immerse yourself in the sights and sounds of the natural world, and take it all in without overthinking or overprocessing. Enjoy the greenness of the trees, the swaying of plant life in the wind, the singing of the birds. If you see something particularly interesting, allow yourself to appreciate it gently. 6. Let the sense of lovingkindness that nature gives us fill you with each breath. If you feel it is appropriate, you mind want to give gentle thanks quietly for the beauty of the world and its serene stillness. 7. Walk for as long as you like. History Retreating into nature has long been used to clear the mind. Henry David Thoreau famously went to Walden Pond to "live deliberately" to to learn "what it had to teach." John Muir, who helped develop the national park system in the US, called natural areas "places for rest, inspiration, and prayers" and encouraged those who lived in cities to take time in nature for spiritual and emotional renewal. The Buddha spoke of the natural world's beauty as a great source for spiritual joy, and St. Francis of Assisi used its beauty as evidence of the glory and benevolence of God. Cautions If walking in genuine wilderness, or in an area with dangerous wildlife or terrain, take all the precautions necessary for any sensible hiker. Make sure somebody knows where you are. Try to avoid long walks in excessively hot or cold weather, especially in secluded areas. Bring water and give any wild animals a wide berth. Do not walk alone after dark! Notes Some people find organized nature retreats especially helpful to galvanize mental and spiritual renewal. You can find a nature retreat organization near you online that provides guided ecotherapeutic walks or psychologically- and spiritually-oriented camping trips.

Name Mindful Pause Purpose/Effects Throughout our day it is easy to get wrapped up in bouncing from task to task, becoming highly stressed, exhausted or emotional without even being aware of it. By taking a moment to stop what we are doing and mindfully pause we can become more focused, aware, and direct our attention where we want it to be. Pausing mindfully can also help us regulate our emotions so that we do not further exacerbate our stress or destructive mind states. Method Summary Throughout the day at various times, stop and take a moment to check in with yourself and how you are feeling. Long Version § Begin by designating three times a day that you will pause mindfully and check in with yourself. § For each mindful pause begin by stopping what you are doing. § Take three mindful breaths, placing your full attention on each in-breath and each out-breath. § Proceed to shift your awareness and attention to what is going on internally. § Become aware of any and all physical sensations throughout your body. § If you come across areas of tension, invite them to soften. § Become aware of any emotions that may be present and see if you can greet them with a curious and compassionate attention. § Become aware of any thoughts that might be present in the moment. § See if you can observe these thoughts, emotions and sensations as passing events and refrain from engaging in their content or pull. § After you have become aware of your internal experience, bring your attention back to your breath and follow your breathing for a few rounds, allowing all thoughts, sensations, and emotions to be however they are. § When you are ready, with awareness, set your intention for how you want to proceed in the next moments of your life and what you want to focus on. § Return to whatever you were doing with greater awareness. After practicing at regular times for a few days, also begin to use the mindful pause whenever you are experiencing a distressing emotion or difficult situation to respond to it mindfully instead of reacting in an automatic, possibly destructive manner. History Many Buddhist meditation teachers recommend mindfully checking in with yourself throughout the day to become aware of your experience. The method presented here was adapted from a variety of sources including the Breathing Space meditation by psychologist Zindel Segal, the Mindful Check-in and STOP practices by MBSR instructors Bob Stahl and Elisha Goldstein, and practices from Pema Chodron’s book Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves From Old Habits and Fears.

Name Letting Go of Your Story Purpose/Effects The stories that we repeatedly tell ourselves about our lives, others, and the world can be very limiting and inaccurate. Identifying and then letting go of our stories can often be quite liberating. It can also open us to new directions and possibilities in our lives. Method Summary Examine the stories you currently believe about yourself, others, or the world. Question their validity, and practice letting go of them. Long Version § Find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed and have time to reflect. § Ask yourself, “What stories about myself or the world do I believe that keep me from being happy, trying new things, and doing what I really want?” § In order to discover your stories, think about how you introduce yourself to people or explain your actions, emotions, and history. § Once you have identified your story (or one of them), notice how it feels in your body when you believe it. § Also notice what thoughts arise when you believe this story. § Now, ask yourself who created this story and if it is accurate. § Begin to imagine what it would feel like if you didn’t believe this story, and see how it feels to let go of it, for even a moment. § Observe how this feels in your body and mind. § Ask yourself what you would do differently if you didn’t believe this story. Optional: § Throughout the day, whenever you are upset, ask yourself, “What story am I believing right now?” Examine whether this story is really true or if it is limiting and negatively affecting you. History Changing or letting go of one’s story is commonly practiced in psychotherapy and some meditative and religious traditions. The method presented here was adapted from a practice created by James Baraz in his book Awakening Joy. Cautions Letting go of your story can be difficult, especially if it has existed for many years. Be patient when working to let go of your story and remember to practice great self-compassion throughout this exercise. Also, it is not necessary to let go of your entire story. Just identifying and questioning the limiting parts of your story that do not help you is beneficial. Notes If you are having difficulty letting go of your story, begin by just considering the possibility of letting it go and see how this feels in your body and mind.

Name Letting Go Purpose/Effects By relinquishing our grip on things, we allow ourselves to see the world with new eyes. Letting go allows us to be more objective, to relax, to reflect, and to heal. There are many things to let go of, and many ways in which to do so. These skills and techniques all lead to a healthier and happier emotional life and a renewed sense of our real place in the world. Method Summary These many skills help you to let go. Try them all and find what works for you. Long Version The Body: 1. Practice Breath Awareness Meditation, which encourages physical and mental relaxation. 2. Practice Diaphragmatic Breathing, also encouraging physical and mental relaxation. You might also try Bellows Breathing / Breath of Fire. 3. Now try the opposite. Try breathing with no control from the command center. Combined with relaxed, body aware meditation that just lets your body “do its thing,” this can have powerful results. 4. Release tension from the body with Progressive Relaxation. 5. Do “heartmath.” Inhale and exhale for equally long periods with centered on the heart with positive emotion. 6. Practice Basic Relaxation Meditation. 7. If you can, consider therapeutic massage or even Postural Integration. Thoughts and Emotions: 1. Identify from where wrong thoughts come. These facets of the personality may be the result of past trauma. Listen to them, comprehend what they say, and then quiet them. Try your best to realize intention. 2. Argue with your wrong thoughts. If something comes up in your mind that you know is wrong, instead of ignoring it so that it can fester, confront it mentally. Sometimes the best way to let go of something is to engage with it. 3. Be realistic. Accept what you can and can’t change. Get some perspective. Often the bad seems worse and the good seems smaller when we worry too much. 4. Say goodbye to things. Let the past be the past. Perhaps make a formal farewell to mental patterns, banishing them gently but firmly. 5. Use relaxing, centering imagery. Imagine yourself in a beautiful, safe place. 6. Be compassionate and forgiving of everyone…including yourself. Transforming Ill Will can take you from negative to positive emotions. 7. Decide that your thoughts and feelings are, at least in part, the result of choice. Accept that you have a part in emotions, and that you can often choose to have them or not. 8. When dealing with a frustrating emotion, imagine it flowing away with each gentle exhalation, naturally waning until it goes. 9. Identify the root causes of tension and frustration. You might want to try Emotional Journaling if the past overwhelms you. 10. You might use your emotional journal to vent. Sometimes venting is even physical. Yell into a pillow, or even hit it. Just let go of the anger. The Self and Wants: 1. Recognize that your self is not the center of the world. Try to avoid personalizing everything. 2. Each day, realize how connected you are to others. Remind yourself that we are, in the end, all in this together. 3. If a want or a personality trait seems to dominate you, ask yourself if this is indeed who you really are. 4. Assess your wants. Find the unambiguously positive ones and the ones that are actually needs. Keep them separate from those that spring from greed, anger, or delusion. 5. Analyze desire. Consider the positive and negative ramifications of each (for example, it’s nice to have a big house, but having a big mortgage can be more trouble than the house is worth). 6. Recognize that letting go of wants and negative emotions brings your self into a better place. Align yourself with the good. 7. Be positive. Try Taking In the Good. History Much of Buddhist thought deals with the benefits of letting go; the Third Noble Truth reminds us that relinquishing our grip on the world is the only way to end suffering. Notes Many Christians speak of "letting go and letting God." Relinquishing the illusion of control doesn't require a higher power, however, just the recognition that our selves are not as important nor as powerful as we might sometimes think.

Name Identifying Personal Values Purpose/Effects Amidst the constant stress and activities in our daily lives it is easy to lose track of what we truly care about and value. Identifying and working to further incorporate personal values into our lives can not only be fulfilling but also deepen our sense of purpose and meaning. Method Summary Make a list of the personal qualities and values you most resonate with and specific ways that you can incorporate them into your life. Long Version The word “values” has many definitions, but in this case it means personal qualities and ways of living that you believe in and resonate with. Psychologist Steven Hayes describes values as “chosen life directions” that are “vitalizing, uplifting, and empowering”. A value is not merely a goal, but can be thought of as a continuous process, direction, and way of living that helps direct us toward various goals and live a meaningful life. Identifying your values: There are various ways to identify your personal values including choosing which domains or areas in your life are most important to you, and specifically what you value within each domain. Which areas of your life and how many you choose can vary. They can include relationships, work/career achievement, parenting, self-care (health, leisure, etc.), spirituality, community involvement, and education/learning. § Begin by taking some time to reflect deeply on what areas of your life and ways of living give you the most meaning, interest and sense of fulfillment. § Feel free to use any of the areas listed above or think of your own. § After you have chosen a few areas, evaluate how important each one is to you and rank them accordingly. § Next, closely and honestly examine how present this value is expressed in your current life, including daily activities, lifestyle and relationships. § Make note of any values that are highly ranked but not highly present in your life. § Begin to brainstorm and list any concrete ways that you can make this value more prevalent in your life. These do not need to be major life changes but can be small actions or activities. For example, if you value spending time with your family, perhaps making an effort to have family dinner together four times a week, or read a bed time story to your children every other night. § Continue to think of different ways to further incorporate your values into your life and test them out, noting what works and most importantly, enjoy the exploration! History Identifying and incorporating personal values into one’s life is a long-standing tradition emphasized in many cultures and religions. The practice specifically described here was adapted from the work of leading clinical psychologists Steven Hayes, Susan Orsillo, and Lizabeth Roemer. Cautions Realizing that we are not truly living the life we want to live or embodying what we value can be difficult and even painful. Please remember that above all, maintaining a compassionate and gentle approach to yourself and discoveries is critical to the process and for creating real change.

Name Identifying Core Beliefs Purpose/Effects Below many of our automatic thoughts lie core beliefs and assumptions that create and influence our day-to-day thoughts and worldview. By identifying these core beliefs we can begin to challenge them and come up with new, more realistic views that often include a more positive outlook about ourselves, our lives, other people, and the future. Method Summary When you realize that you are upset, examine your thoughts in that moment, including those murmuring in the background of awareness. Pick a thought that seems particularly prominent, central, or at the heart of the upset, and then ask yourself if even deeper assumptions or beliefs underlie this thought, such as ideas about yourself, the world, or life that reach back into your childhood. When you find deeper assumptions, write them down . . . and then ask yourself again if there are even deeper views or perspectives beneath these thoughts. Don’t be obsessive about this process, and let yourself do it for only a few minutes at a time. And once you find a core belief, then step back and ask yourself if it is really true. Long Version § When you realize that you are upset and experiencing negative emotions, recognize what thoughts are occurring and write down a particularly gripping or distressing thought. § Next, ask yourself, “What would happen if this thought were true? What would it say/mean about me or my situation?”. § Draw a downward arrow below your first thought and write down the answer to these questions below the arrow. Then ask yourself again, “What would happen if this next thought were true? What would it say/mean about me or my situation?” § Write down the answer again and keep doing this process until you cannot answer it anymore and come to a solid conclusion, which is a core belief. § Recognize and identify this core belief and begin to question and challenge its validity. § Ask yourself, “Is this belief always true 100% all of the time?” § Additionally, see Disputing Negative Thoughts and Common Errors in Thinking for more help challenging this belief. § This method can also be done with core views about others and the world. Starting with a negative thought about other people or the world, ask yourself, “What would happen if this was true? “What would it say or mean about others/the world?” History Identifying core beliefs and assumptions using this downward arrow technique is a common practice in cognitive behavioral therapy and was created by Dr. David Burns. The method presented here was adapted from Dr. Burns’ Vertical Arrow Technique in his book, The Feeling Good Handbook. It was also adapted from Dr. Nancy Padesky and Dr. Dennis Greenberger’s Downward Arrow Technique in their book, Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. Cautions It is quite possible to be unaware of our core beliefs. Discovering them can sometimes be disheartening or it can be painful to realize that these views have been influencing our lives for many years. Please be gentle with yourself for having whatever beliefs you do. Try to remember that you are more than your beliefs and assumptions and beliefs can be changed.

Name Humor therapy, therapeutic humor, laugh therapy Purpose/Effects Laughter may be the best medicine after all. Laughing is found to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and boost the function of the immune system; it also triggers the release of endorphins, increases pain tolerance, and promotes general wellbeing. Humor therapy takes advantage of the natural benefits of laughing and channels them for psychological gain. Ensuring a healthy quotient of laughter every day is a great way to up your quality of life. Method Summary Laugh lots. If you have to, fake it ’til you make it. Long Version The basis of humor therapy is, of course, to get yourself laughing. Jokes, funny anecdotes, comedy films, whatever makes you laugh is okay. However, sometimes in stressful situations, when the benefits of humor therapy are needed most, you may not have something at the ready, or the stress may keep you from seeing the humor in the situation. In that case, here is a meditation on humor to do whenever you need the therapy of a laugh: 1. Stretch generally to loosen up any physical tension that may hold you back. Make sure you get your arms, shoulders, back, chest, and legs. 2. Now, as silly as it seems, start faking laughter. Make yourself go through the motions of a good belly laugh. Soon, the contagiousness of the act of laughter alone will take hold. You’ll begin to laugh spontaneously and genuinely. Throw your head back and laugh from the heart. 3. Do this for five minutes at least, or for as long as the laughter takes. History The King James version of the Bible says in Proverbs 17:22, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones"; the therapeutic benefits of humor thus have been known for millennia. Through the Middle Ages, Renaissance, and Enlightenment, doctors and philosophers advised laughter as a supplement to more traditional forms of care, with such figures as Martin Luther and Voltaire suggesting its use. In the modern era, some hospitals began to bring in clowns in to attend to sick children and keep their spirits up. Now therapeutic humor groups have sprung up around the world, offering some of the cheapest, easiest, and most fun therapy around.

Name Guided hypnosis, hypnotherapy Purpose/Effects In a hypnotherapy session led by a professional hypnotherapist, the subject is slowly led through a monologue given by the therapist that relaxes the body and mind while keeping the latter in a state of subdued alertness. In this trance state, the mind becomes more open to forms of suggestion toward specific or general healthy behaviors. Hypnosis also promotes relaxation and is a good stress relief technique. Hypnotherapy has been strongly indicated as a treatment for gastrointestinal problems, chronic pain, anxiety, and countless other conditions. Method Summary Find a hypnotherapist and undergo sessions with her or him, addressing your individual needs. Long Version 1. To decide if hypnotherapy is right for you, you should first make a list of what you feel you need to address. Many individuals use hypnosis for very specific reasons, quitting smoking and weight loss being two of the most popular, but hypnotherapy is also very effective as a general stress and emotion management technique. 2. Decide what kind of hypnotherapist interests you: you can find social workers, counselors, and psychologists certified in hypnotherapy. If you are interested in talk therapy in addition to hypnotherapy, many professionals will offer a combination of both. This can be especially helpful if you tend to bottle up your emotions; by talking a bit first, your hypnotherapist can suggest messages that would be particularly helpful. 3. Look around. You can start by going through the National Board of Certified Hypnotherapists’ website or do a Google search using your area. If you know people in the mental health community, you may want to ask around for recommendations. When you find a hypnotherapist, ask her or him about areas of specialization. There are hypnotherapists who specialize in anxiety, in eating disorders, in irritable bowel syndrome, and nearly anything else you might need. When you find someone who looks promising, make an appointment. 4. During your first appointment, you and your therapist will probably begin by just talking. She or he will want to know about your life and what concerns brought you in. Be honest and forthright, as you would be with any therapist. The information you give now will help her or him tailor the hypnosis session to your needs. 5. She or he might suggest a mini-session during the first appointment, so that you can see how you respond to the trance state. If she or he doesn’t recommend it, and you have time, you can choose to bring it up as a possibility. 6. Your hypnosis session will begin with you relaxing into a comfortable position in a chair or on a couch and closing your eyes. Your practitioner will then begin to read or recite a monologue that encourages your body to relax. Don’t think too hard about what’s going on or worry that you’re not relaxing enough. Try to just listen. 7. You will start to sink into a relaxed state of trance. In this state, you may find your body reacting in strange ways: your limbs might tingle, you might hallucinate that you are rocking back and forth, etc. Don’t be afraid; these are perfectly normal and safe. 8. The therapist will then take the opportunity to offer messages that correspond to the needs you addressed earlier, often in addition to messages of general physical and emotional wellbeing. Hypnosis will have put you in a state of susceptibility to these suggestions. 9. Slowly, your therapist will ease you out of the trance, gently and with easy breaths. You will remember what has been said, but it will most likely seem a little hazy. You body may feel extremely relaxed, to the point of being on pins and needles. Be sure to get up slowly. 10. Adjust your appointment schedule to your needs. Maintenance for anxiety reduction and general wellbeing may only require a session or two a month, while appointments intending specific results like quitting smoking may require more frequent sessions at first that taper off over time. History The 18th-century German physician Franz Mesmer developed a primitive form of hypnosis based on what he called "animal magnetism" that became known as "Mesmerism". In 1841 the Scottish physician James Braid took these ideas and developed what he called hypnotism. Many psychologists of the day became fascinated by hypnotism and began used its effects on suggestion in their own experiments and trails. Freud began as an enthusiastic proponent of hypnotism but eventually abandoned it in favor of psychoanalysis. Now hypnotherapy is a discipline divided into many divergent branches used to treat almost every condition you could think of. Cautions Hypnosis can often bring about powerful emotions. You may feel the urge to cry afterward, or you might feel light-headed and airy. This is normal and okay. Notes A hypnotherapist will not have control over you; you will still be awake and rational. The stage hypnosis you see on TV where the hypnotist can bend people to his will is just showbiz. Hypnotic regression is a controversial procedure in which the hypnotherapist sometimes uses the trance state to access repressed memories, generally of traumatic experiences like child abuse.. Most hypnotherapists do not do these extreme forms of hypnotic regression and many are strongly opposed to it. However, if you are interested in this form of hypnotherapy, consult with your practitioner.

Name Gratitude practice; being thankful Purpose/Effects Gratitude practice is simply being thankful for the good in our lives. By focusing us on positive rather than negative thoughts, it helps us to see the cup of life as half-full rather than as half-empty. It reminds us not to be greedy and to find satisfaction in what we have, though we may strive for more. Gratitude requires no sacrifice but provides great rewards in compassion, happiness, and mindfulness. Method Summary Every day, acknowledge something for which you are grateful. Long Version 1. Keep a journal you can use for your gratitude practice. This journal can be separate from the one which you use for Emotional Journaling, or you can use the same one if you wish. Every day, write down five things for which you are grateful, no matter how simple or humble. Be honestly appreciative, and don’t patronize yourself with gratitude for, say, “having food unlike all those starving kids in China.” 2. If you don’t wish to journal, at the end of every day, say your five things to yourself before going to bed. 3. See the giver behind the gift. When something nice happens, think about the person who made this pleasant experience happen. Did your partner bring you a cup of tea without asking? Did a friend call just to see how you were doing? Did the checkout girl at the grocery store notice a rotten piece of fruit in your bag and tell you so you could exchange it? It doesn’t matter if the experience was small. Express your genuine gratitude to this person and remind yourself that people are often surprisingly, overwhelmingly kind. Say thank-you to everyone. 4. If you are a religious person, use your gratitude as an opportunity for praise. Always begin your prayers with thanks to God for your blessings, rather than supplications for favor. Saying grace before a meal is a type of gratitude practice that many of us have experienced; it can even be done by the non-religious. 5. Use the emotional strength that gratitude practice brings you as a tool. Recognizing the beauty of the world does not mean ignoring its flaws. Do your best every day to earn your blessings; Community Service / Charity is a great way to manifest your gratitude 6. Do this even when you don’t feel like it. When you’re angry or sad, gratitude is even more important than when you’re happy. These emotions are valid, of course, but by reminding yourself of what there is to be thankful for, you can take off their destructive edge. History Gratitude practice is part of many of the world's major faiths. The Psalms of the Hebrew Bible are full of thanks and praise to God for all his blessings. Christian worship centers on thanking Jesus for his sacrifice on behalf of the world. The prophet Muhammad, founder of Islam, said, "Gratitude for the abundance you have received is the best insurance that the abundance will continue." The Hindu ritual of puja expresses gratitude to its deities through offerings. And gratitude is an important part of Buddhist lovingkindness practice. The contemporary positive psychology movement recommends gratitude practice as one of the strongest tools for promoting a sense of general wellbeing in all. Notes It's been shown in clinical studies that people who write down their gratitude for ten weeks had their levels of happiness raised 25% from the control group. It's that simple: being thankful makes us happy.

Name Gratitude Letter Purpose/Effects Practicing gratitude can yield a variety of physical and emotional benefits, including increased happiness, optimism, and determination. Being grateful can also reduce stress and improve sleep and immune functioning. By writing someone a letter of gratitude and reading it aloud to him or her, you can experience firsthand the benefits of being grateful. Studies by positive psychologist Martin Seligman have even reported that the effects of doing this just once can last for weeks! Method Summary: Write a letter to someone you appreciate – typically, a person who has made a difference in your life, and to whom you feel grateful. Then if possible, meet with this person and read the letter to him or her. Long Version: § Choose someone who has contributed to you in one way or another (e.g., emotionally, financially, with support) – perhaps a person you haven’t yet fully thanked. § Brainstorm ways that he or she has contributed to you, and had positive effects on your life. § Write down both general and specific things this person has done for you and how his or her actions have made you feel. § Take as long as you need to write this letter (some people take several weeks). § Compose a letter that is roughly one page in length, and then ask this person if you two can meet. Make sure not to tell him or her about the letter beforehand. § When you meet, read your letter to its recipient aloud and give this person time to let it sink in. § Pay attention to how reading this letter makes you feel. § Spend time reflecting with this person on the effects of the letter and what he or she has done for you. History This method was adapted from an exercise created by psychologist Martin Seligman called the Gratitude Visit. Seligman describes this practice in further detail in his books Authentic Happiness – Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Happiness, and Flourish – A Visionary Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. For more information about Seligman’s work and positive psychology, please visit: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/default.aspx Cautions Try to do this practice with an open mind and withhold expectations about how you think the recipient will respond. Remember that you can feel and express gratitude to someone while also asserting yourself with this person; for example, you can be grateful to an intimate partner while also wanting more help with housework, or more lovemaking. Notes Reading the letter aloud to its recipient is an important part of this method. Try to make sure you choose someone with whom you can meet in person.

Name Gottman's Marriage Tips Purpose/Effects Following these tips can help strengthen marriages and help them to better weather the inevitable problems all relationships face. Method Summary Marriage requires work, affection, conscious thought, and a positive environment. Long Version 1. Seek help early. Instead of waiting the average time of six years before looking for outside assistance, seek help as soon as a problem makes itself known. 2. Edit yourself. Honesty is important, but making every single critical or negative thought known just hurts your partner. 3. Soften your “start up.” When a problem comes up, instead of beginning with an angry confrontation, bring up your concerns gently and with care. 4. Accept influence. Both parties need to be able to accept and change feelings and plans due to the influence of the other party, but this is especially important to remember in the case of the husband accepting his wife’s influence (as women are more likely to accept male influence due to the culture at large). 5. Have high standards. Don’t tolerate bad behavior until it reaches a breaking point. Hold yourselves and one another to the highest reasonable standard. 6. Learn to repair and/or exit the argument. If an argument isn’t getting anywhere, change the subject, make a humorous or caring remark to lighten the mood, establish a common ground, and back down when necessary. If an argument is especially heated, agree to take a 20-minute recess to cool down and then re-approach the situation with more level heads. 7. Focus on the bright side. Cultivate a positive climate rather than a negative one in your marriage. Continually say kind and loving things to your partner and about your relationship…these affirmations will only become more true with time. History Dr. John Gottman has studied what makes marriages succeed or fail since 1973; using his insight he has been able to tell with over 90% accuracy the future of a marriage. These marriage tips have been gleaned from years of research. Notes You can take a relationship quiz on Dr. Gottman's website https://www.gottman.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-partner/ and test your own relationship's strength.

Name Establishing safety, reducing fear Purpose/Effects Research has demonstrated a link between situations fearful to the self (like being confronted with death) and a decrease in personal willpower. In order to optimize our mental and emotional capacity, we must feel safe. The following methods promote a sense of safety that allows our mental resources to stop fending off outer threats and instead focus on our inner wellbeing. Method Summary Relax, meditate, and continually affirm your safety, while seeking help from others when necessary. Long Version 1. Practice diaphragmatic breathing. By focusing your mental resources on your breath, you allow exterior threats to recede. Exercises that allow you to concentrate on the ebb and flow of your body often help to establish a sense of safety. This is because they center your attention on the internal and the personal rather than the external and interpersonal. You may want to try a full body awareness exercise if you find this helpful. 2. Relax the body. When we feel afraid and vulnerable, we tense our muscles; you can think of it as trying to create a coat of armor or as preparing for a physical conflict. Our muscles hold this tension and promulgate a continued sense of insecurity. The decrease in muscle tension resulting from physical relaxation also helps move blood flow from the muscle to the heart and brain, promoting clear thinking and wellbeing. A progressive relaxation technique helps your body to “forget” the fear that your mind might have already cleared. 3. Use a mantra or a statement that makes you feel peaceful and safe. You may want to select an affirmation using the method described here. One very powerful reminder comes from a folktale about King Solomon, in which this wise and great man is told that “this too shall pass.” Nothing in the human sphere is eternal. In the grand scheme of the universe, our minor fears and worries are ephemeral. If feeling threatened, remind yourself that “this too shall pass.” 4. Meditate in a safe place. The Buddha received his enlightenment with the Bodhi tree at his back, guarding his vulnerable side. You don’t need a tree to sit under. When you meditate, become aware of your space and its consequences on your physical safety. If you’re indoors, consider the safety and seclusion that comes from doors and walls. If you’re outdoors on retreat, consider your isolation from the stresses of the “real world”. Treat your space as a sanctuary. You might want to use a basic relaxation meditation or posture meditation technique to enjoy the benefits of physical relaxation and meditative calm. 5. Seek refuge in others. Whether you talk to a therapist or just talk to a trusted and understanding friend, we can’t live without expressing our fears. No man or woman is an island. If you feel ashamed of your fear, you might want to begin by journaling it and then using this insight to talk to another. History Much of the historical writing on meditation promotes establishing safety; Buddhist teachings often focus on helping the student separate her or his animal fear response from her or his mind, promoting a detached sense of impenetrability. Prayers in many different traditions act as a way of reducing fear by letting anxiety go into the hands of God. Cautions Don't take this too far. Though the fear response can be detrimental to mental and physical wellbeing, it serves an obvious evolutionary purpose. When we feel unsafe, sometimes it's because we are unsafe. If a threat actually puts us at risk of real harm, we should listen to this fear and seek refuge using more permanent means. Notes Frank Herbert's 1965 science fiction novel Dune contains a prayer called the Litany Against Fear, which is a powerful mantra against feelings of threat: I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Name Emotional Validation Purpose/Effects Validating our feelings and emotions is a simple yet effective method of managing highly intense emotions. Instead of repressing or invalidating how we feel, which can subsequently heighten our current emotions, validation can serve to soothe intense feelings and make them more manageable. Validation can be used on one’s own emotions or in relationships. Method Summary During times of intense distressing emotions or experiences, identify and acknowledge what you are feeling and try to accept and understand your emotions by identifying some causes and explanations for them. Long Version When experiencing intense emotion(s): 1. Try to identify the emotion. § If you have trouble identifying the emotion- practice various mindfulness techniques including the Emotional Awareness Meditation. § If helping another person, you can say, “you seem to be saying that you feel (emotion), is that correct?”. Or, “You appear (emotion), is that correct?”. § If you are unable to identify the emotion and just know that you feel a muddier, more general upset feeling, that is okay as well. 2. Once you have identified the emotion, work with acknowledging and accepting these emotions. § See if you can work with accepting whatever you are feeling as a part of your current experience and acknowledge that this emotion is what is present right now for you. 3. Look for potential explanations and reasons why you or who you are communicating with is feeling that particular emotion. § Try to find the source of your emotion by thinking about what makes the most sense as to why you are feeling that way. § For example, if your child is upset and crying because their toy was taken by another child, you would validate their experience by reminding them that it is frustrating when a toy is taken and it is okay that they are feeling upset. Another example would be if you or a friend were very nervous before a presentation, simply reminding yourself or friend that it makes sense to feel nervous before public speaking and that the majority of people feel this way so you/your friend are not alone. History Emotional validation is widely used by many psychologists, social workers, caregivers and teachers. Some even consider it a natural component of interpersonal communication. Dr. Marsha Linehan, a leading psychologist and creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), uses emotional validation as a central tool for her treatment and has done significant work to promote and enhance it in the field of psychotherapy. Notes It is important to note that emotional validation does not mean you are agreeing with or supporting your own or another’s emotional response (especially if the emotions are very destructive or irrational). Validating means that we are acknowledging and working towards understanding why we (or another person) feel a certain way and accepting that that emotion is here and real for us right now. One way to get a better idea of validation is to think of its opposite, which is invalidation. Invalidating someone else’s (or your own) emotions would include expressions such as, “Stop being a baby”, or “Get over it”. On the contrast, validating expressions convey understanding, such as, “It makes sense why you feel this way” or “Wow, that sounds really difficult”. Validation can also be conveyed to others through facial expressions and body language such as nodding.

Name Emotional journaling; writing therapy Purpose/Effects Getting your emotions down on paper can help you to process difficult times as well as help you with sorting out general emotional problems. A journal acts as a free talk therapist..."someone" you can spill all your feelings too, no matter what, without judgment. Using a journal to self-express can relieve anxiety, help you to understand negative emotional triggers, and resolve problems in your daily life. Method Summary Write down your emotions every day as entirely as possible; re-read them later for insight. Long Version 1. Choose a journal. You can use a plain notebook or a fancy one. You might even want to write an anonymous blog. There are also guided journals like Writing to Heal, Writing for Emotional Balance, and Time to Write to Yourself; guided journals may be helpful if you don’t know where to start and feel uncomfortably overwhelmed just using the tips below. 2. Before you begin, remember that this journal is personal. Don’t try to write masterful prose or try to analyze your feelings too much. Just spill out your emotions as fully and truthfully as possible without self-judgment. Try to write for ten or fifteen minutes straight daily. Afterwards, re-read your writing for possible insight. 3. Start by describing a recent event. Answer all the basic details of who was there, what were they doing, where and when it occurred, and why things happened as they did. Write in detail, using all five senses to describe the moment. Remember, smells and tastes are as important triggers to emotional memory as sight and hearing. Now, express your feelings about this event – how all your sensory inputs and interactions with others made you feel. This exercise helps you to become comfortable with a full-spectrum emotional journaling experience. 4. Now, instead of focusing on an exterior event, focus on an interior feeling. Using the emotional trigger linking techniques above, try to understand the “big picture” of your emotional response. If you are anxious, consider the situations in which your anxiety arises and try to identify its triggers. Express your anxiety in its fullness; do not be ashamed. Nobody will read your personal journal; you must bare your raw feelings as much as possible. You will often find thoughts rising up that you couldn’t have expressed otherwise. Follow these thoughts and feelings to their root and try to understand them. 5. You may want to use the event-describing techniques above to examine experiences in your past. Take a life-changing event (whether it is positive or negative) and try to describe it in its fullness. Find all the triggers for emotional response and explore them. You may find links you didn’t realize were there! 6. If relationship troubles are part of your life, use your journal as a way to express your feelings and problems without hurting your partner’s feelings. You may be able to see the situation more objectively after letting off steam. It also may help you to better pinpoint the reasons behind your anger or sadness so that, when you converse with your partner, you’ll be able to resolve them. 7. Notice the words that you use. Sometimes they are the key to deeper feelings within the subconscious. Highlight or underline words and feelings that seem to recur. Try to understand why these particular things are important to the unconscious mind. History Diaries and journals have existed for millennia; the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius' famous work Meditations began as a journal expressing his personal philosophy and shows remarkable emotional insight. However, the method of using a diary as a method of personal emotional exploration is mostly a 20th century phenomenon, seen in the journals of figures like Carl Jung. Later, psychologists such as James W. Pennebaker began exploring the very real benefits of emotional journaling with experiments demonstrating that journaling (especially expressing undisclosed or unexamined trauma) strengthened mental wellbeing and even improved physical health. Cautions Don't overthink while writing. Let your 10-15 minute writing period be stream-of-consciousness and nonstop. Later, after you've expressed all of your feelings, you can re-read what you wrote and analyze it. Do not, however, do it in the moment. Notes Many choose to write before bed as a way to process the events of the day and to release any tension that might impede sleep. Did you have a diary when you were a teenager? The emotional turmoil of adolescence leads many young people to journal. If you choose to see a counselor and discuss your emotional progress, the journal can often act as a helpful jumping-off point. See Also Self-Affirmation to Reduce Self-Control Failure - another writing technique that can work synergistically with emotional journaling.

Name Disputing Negative Thoughts Purpose/Effects By replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, it is possible to greatly enhance your mood and sense of wellbeing. Human beings have a tendency to focus much more on negative thoughts than positive ones. Sometimes it is rational and necessary to think about negative things in order to improve them, or to avoid repeating mistakes. It is often the case, however, that people are thinking about negative things in an irrational manner. A simple, common example is a thought like, "I always screw everything up." Is it really the case the every time this person has ever attempted anything they have failed? Obviously not. They somehow have managed to make it this far, which means that they have succeeded much more often than not. So the thought "I always screw everything up" is actually an exaggeration. You may not think this kind of exaggeration is a big deal, but actually thoughts of this kind can cause people to become unhappy, anxious, and depressed. Our thoughts affect our feelings, and negative thoughts that are exaggerated have exaggerated effects. Imagine the emotional effect of the same thought if it changed to something more accurate, such as "I sometimes screw things up." Even this slight change to a more correct assessment already makes the thought less negatively charged. The idea behind the Disputing Negative Thoughts technique, then, is to "listen" to the thoughts in your head, and to evaluate their accuracy. If a thought is not accurate or rational, you replace it with one that is more positive. Over time, this will make your emotional state more positive in general. It also allows you to respond to situations in a more helpful manner. Method Summary Every time you notice a negative thought, check if it is accurate. If it is not, replace it with a positive thought. Long Version If you find that you are feeling angry, depressed, upset, or anxious, take this as a clue to examine your thinking. Make a habit of using your negative feelings as a cue to begin the Disputing Negative Thoughts practice. 1. Reality Testing Check the accuracy of the basic facts behind your thinking. Ask yourself: 1. What is my evidence for and against my thinking? 2. Are my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations? 3. Am I jumping to negative conclusions? 4. How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true? 5. If your thought is a core belief, write it out and ask yourself, “Is this thought 100% true ALL of the time?”. Begin creating a list of any and all instances you find that are not true. 2. Look for Alternate Explanations Ask yourself: 1. Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation? 2. What else could this mean? 3. If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation? 2. Put Things in Perspective When you are feeling upset, you are likely to think about things in a way that is much more extreme than the actual situation. This can make the negative feelings a lot worse. Putting things in perspective, can help you to reduce this extreme self-talk. Ask yourself: 1. Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be? 2. What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it? 3. What is the best thing that could happen? 4. What is most likely to happen? 5. Is there anything good about this situation? 6. Will this matter in five years time? 2. Use Goal-directed Thinking – Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating (i.e. it doesn’t make you feel good or help you to get what you want) can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective. Ask yourself: 1. Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals? 2. What can I do that will help me solve the problem? 3. Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time? 4. Do a cost-benefit analysis of believing your thought. Ask yourself, “How will it help me to believe this thought?” and “How does it hurt me to believe this thought?”. Write down your answers and decide if believing this thought is more harmful than good. If so practice choosing to let it go, or opening to the possibility that your thought is not true. History This technique is one of the core practices of cognitive therapy. This direction in therapy was mainly pioneered by Aaron Beck, and popularized by David D. Burns with his book The Feeling Good Handbook. The specific version presented here is a variation of the one created by Dr. Sarah Edelman and Louise Rémond at the Foundation for Life Sciences. It also includes techniques from Dr. Burn's book, The Feeling Good Handbook, and from Dr. Christine Padesky and Dr. Dennis Greenberger’s book, Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. Notes Disputing negative thoughts takes a substantial investment of time and energy in order to be effective. However, the results of long-term application of this practice are quite positive.

Name Developing an Inner Guide Purpose/Effects An inner guide can be a great ally for your emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Developing an internal nurturing and encouraging figure reminds you of your abilities and good qualities, while providing counsel in difficult times. An inner guide combines the benefits of a good friend (a shoulder to lean on) with self-inquiry and introspection, allowing us to make better decisions and improving our self-esteem and self-image when we need it most. Method Summary Find a figure and allow it to help sustain you. Long Version 1. Choosing a guide may seem like a difficult task. There are many options to choose from. Your selection should be informed by your own personal needs: if you are hard on yourself, choose a figure you think will offer unconditional love; if you need steeling and unsparing encouragement, choose a figure that you respect as a caring but tough hero. 2. You might choose a real person, alive or dead, whom you have known. Perhaps you had a grandmother who was always a source of intense love and affection, or perhaps your father always knew how to sternly but lovingly snap you out of lazy spells. These guides don’t have to be accurate representations of the people they represent; think of them as archetypes put in easy-to-recognize forms. 3. You might choose a guardian angel-type figure, one that seems detached from this world but that nonetheless has a powerful investment in you. A divinity also can be a great guide, whether Christ or a bodhisattva. Figures from mythology that attract and inspire us can also be great guides, nurturers, and protectors. 4. You might pick a person or animal that appears in your dreams, if she/he/it seems to be a repository of love and useful wisdom. For more on dreams as a source of real guidance and inspiration, see DREAM TENDING LINK HERE. 5. Of course, there is a long tradition of animal spirit guides. Don’t try to adhere to traditional indigenous totem traditions; if a hedgehog or a walrus seems appropriate, by all means let it be your guide. 6. When you have found your guide figure (when your guide figure has found you), you can proceed in many ways. You can allow its voice to come to you when in need, or you can actively engage with it. 7. When dealing with a difficult situation, you might want to think to your inner guide figure. She/he/it might begin to offer encouragement, advice, or a pep talk. This doesn’t mean you’re crazy! The guiding figure is your subconscious’ way of helping you with what you need. 8. You may also want to enter a meditative state through deep breathing and physical relaxation. In this state, you can engage actively with your inner guide and ask she/he/it for help. Record what you learn and use it in the future. 9. Constantly engage with and build up your relationship with your inner guide, and its strength will increase. History Praying for guidance is a part of many traditions, and through the ages saints, bodhisattvas, and angels have acted as inner guides for many people in many different cultures. The stereotype of the indigenous American spirit animal comes from many different traditions: from the totemism of the Pacific Northwestern tribes to the nahualism of the Mesoamerican people, animals were often seen as embodying traits that influenced and guided humans. In the late 19th century, early new age groups known as Spiritualists and Theosophists began talking explicitly about "spirit guides," often channeled spirits of the dead. Notes Sometimes your best inner guide might come to you in a dream. The characters in our dreams, both those based upon people and things we know in waking world and the completely mentally fabricated, offer insight into what we might need in a guiding figure.

Name Breath of Fire, Bhastrika Pranayama, Bellows Breathing Purpose/Effects Breath of Fire is a type of intense breathing exercise that has many effects. It calms the mind and stimulates the body, increasing oxygen and decreasing carbon dioxide in the blood. It is excellent to do before meditation. Classically, there are many other benefits to Breath of Fire. Various yoga scriptures claim that it will increase digestive power, eliminate diseases, clease the nadis (energy pathways) in the body, awaken the Kundalini, and so forth. It is also claimed to be a powerful weight loss method. Method Summary Breathe in and out through your nose very quickly and forcefully. Long Version 1. Sit in “lotus” posture. That is, on the floor with your back and neck straight and aligned. 2. Keep your mouth closed. BOF is done through the nose. Make sure there is no mucus blocking the nostrils. Breathing should be free and clear. 3. Now breathe in and out as quickly and forcefully as possible. Use your stomach muscles to power the breath. The stomach muscles should expand and contract like a blacksmith’s bellows. 4. After a certain number of breaths (try 10 to start) or number of seconds (or minutes), end by taking a long, full, deep inhale. 5. Rest while breathing normally. 6. End here, or do another round. History Bhastrika is a traditional Kundalini yoga pranayama method from India. Cautions Breath of Fire, like any pranayama, comes with a lot of warnings. First and foremost, only do this if both nostrils are open. Do not practice Breath of Fire with one nostril plugged. Furthermore, if you have high blood pressure, have any heart condition, or are pregnant, you should not do this practice. Pranayama is intense, physical exercise, and should only be practiced when completely healthy. Breath of Fire may make you feel quite dizzy. Notes Focus your mind on your breathing or your third eye during this practice. You can also mentally repeat the mantra "Om." You may find several variations on this practice, some of them involving arm motions.

Name Controlled Breathing Purpose/Effects Many people do not breathe normally when they are anxious; this is particularly true if they feel especially afraid or panicked. Learning to deliberately return your breathing to more normal rhythms when anxious can help reduce the physical, embodied aspects of anxiety – which can feel better in its own right, as well as reduce feedback loops coming from the body that intensify anxiety. Method Summary: Inhale for four seconds and exhale for at least four seconds. Try to do this for at least four minutes. Long Version § Sit or lie down, placing one hand on your belly and one on your chest. § Inhale through your mouth or nose for 4 seconds, then exhale through your mouth or nose for at least 4 seconds (longer exhalations are okay). § Feel your belly gently expand during the inhalation and return to normal during the exhalation. § Inhale and exhale smoothly and try to avoid gulping or gasping for air. § Repeat this practice for at least 4 minutes. (4 minutes is the amount of time needed to restore normal carbon dioxide and oxygen levels in the body.) Practicing for longer than four minutes is also good and can help increase your relaxation. § At first it can be hard to do this practice when you are very anxious. Therefore it can be helpful to practice 2-3 times a day – when you are not especially anxious – for a few days to get used to it and be able to effectively use this practice when highly anxious. History Controlled breathing is a method used to treat anxiety commonly used in cognitive behavioral therapy. The method presented here was adapted from a controlled breathing exercise created by psychologists Christine Padesky and Dennis Greenberger found in their book, Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. Cautions If you begin to feel lightheaded or dizzy, stop this breathing exercise. Some people find awareness of the body – and in particular, awareness of the breath – disturbing, even alarming. If you find that awareness of breathing is so uncomfortable that you cannot do this method, explore other methods for managing and reducing anxiety. If you struggle with panic or anxiety attacks, seek professional help and do not rely on this method solely to reduce your anxiety.

Name Confidence Building Purpose/Effects This is an NLP exercise for building up confidence. Many people have low self esteem. Often this manifests as lack of confidence, even about activities in which they are highly competent. Low self esteem can lead to non-optimal outcomes. By building up self confidence, we can improve the outcomes of our activities. Business deals, work, love relationships, friendships, etc., can all be enhanced by building up our confidence. Method Summary Picture yourself with very positive attributes, while a large crowd of people applaud you. Long Version Begin by getting grounded. In a nutshell, this means letting go of concepts and worries, and getting in touch with your body, your senses, and the present moment. Now close your eyes, and imagine yourself standing in front of you, looking back at you. Bit by bit, create a new you in your imagination that has all the characteristics that would give you incredible confidence. If what you want is a thin you, picture yourself thin. If you also want different hair, give the imaginary you the hair you desire. It can be anything, including non-visual characteristics. You may want a powerful voice, a brilliant mind, a super-sexy ability to make love, and so forth. Imagine yourself with all the characteristics and qualities that would give you the super confidence you desire. Watch the image of yourself change before your mind’s eye. Make sure that the image is big, bright, bold, and powerful. Imagine the feeling of confidence coursing through the veins of the imaginary you. Feel the rush of power, control, and fearlessness that comes with this confidence. Notice how the imaginary image even stands with the stance of great confidence, and holds its head in leonine way. Next, when you are ready, walk around behind this imaginary image and step inside of it. Become it. Feel yourself experiencing all the sensations of having amazing confidence. Notice how your body changes, your stance shifts, even your gaze subtly alters to express this volcano of confidence within you. Now imagine that this new you is standing in front of a large audience of admirers. They are cheering and clapping, and swooning with adulation and devotion to you. Pay particular attention to where the positive feelings you are having are located in your body. This spot is the center, the physical source point of your confidence. Feel into it deeply with your body awareness. Continue alternating between the visualization and the feelings of confidence in your body for as long as you wish. This exercise should feel very good.