The Obedient Listner

It was a while ago. After receiving the admin privileges in a chitter-chatter website. Someone managed to lure me into a trap to click a malware link (Or probably just an IP tracker). Few minutes after that I experienced a distributed denial of service attack. Clashed my whole network and the effort that I had once spent over there. The person and his friends sent me a message saying "We are watching you!" and few other sarcastic jokes. Basically, it was cyber-bullying [Somehow I deserve it for being a juvenile delinquent back at school for a period of time]. It made me wrathful for few seconds. Longing for revenge and annihilation for each and every single one behind it. But then I remembered how much I despise anger. Also how they not only managed to penetrate my machine, but also my head. That's precisely the issue! To be a strategic thinker. Your steps should be thoughtful and calm . Reflect on how you've lost the battle. Not rage in an emotional storm. How can I prevent my enemies from entering my head? How can I remain undisturbed while encountering a direct threat? In other words, what should I be telling my self in these situations? Note: Please don't tell me to avoid conflicts. I believe that friction is inevitable if I choose to pursue my ambition. Many thanks in advance.

@Anlib I've lived in Skåne for more than 8 years. I remember how difficult "gymnasieskolan" was. I consider myself lucky to have travelled here in England to finish my studies. Don't be ashamed of not getting the grades. Scandinavia's educational system is pure madness. When it comes to whether you should start working or remain in school depends on you. Firstly, are you emotionally prepared for retaking the year? Secondly, what will you do differently to get the grades? Otherwise, consider getting a job. Ha en trevlig dag!

@Richard Alpert Thank you for the response! That seems to be true. But we are the most intelligent of all known creatures. So maybe it has to do with our prevailing consciousnesses? Also, can't we consider evolution as a form of success? When it comes to other creatures, what's your saying about the hexagonal beehive patterns? These are the most suitable shapes in regards to space, resilience and the rest is here: Why do honeybees love hexagons?. That's a form of success, isn't it? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Emerald Wilkins You left me completely speechless, I don't know how to thank you! What you have just shared with me is extremely dense with information. So I took note of it. I have also added - The Diamond Net - to my self-development plan. After all, I am just a newbie who has just started the journey. Yeah, it was so subtle, that I couldn't even tell my own existential crisis. As you've mentioned earlier, perhaps it's a sign of progress. This outlook on love is completely new to me. Nevertheless, it gave a colour to my life.

@PetarKa Thanks mate, your insight is really useful. I totally agree with you. People in my circumstances should work on the basics rather than being impatient and jumping to something that they can't handle, enlightenment in this case. Personally, I need to get momentum in life as you've said. I wish I could find the holy grail of motivation. How can I remain persistent while life is hitting me with crap constantly? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Saarah I'm very grateful for your feedback. Your speculations and ideas are valid. Absolutely! When you don't get what you want, you start to ask this question. There are so many experiences I wish I had. Not being able to participate in cheerful affairs made me miserable, thereby resenting life. I would consider those to be a brilliant set of pacifications to extinguish the aforementioned resentment. But that's it. Painkillers to calm you down. It doesn't give meaning to life. It doesn't inspire me to pursue a big goal. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Emerald Wilkins I appreciate your input. There's no doubt that you are light years ahead of me in self-development and consciousness. So I will not dare to argue with you. However, I still find it hard to accept that there is such thing as "infinite unconditional stone-faced love". How can this remarkable leniency be real and you have those heartless barbaric savages who killed the girl with no mercy or second thought? They are now among us, roaming on Earth. A friend of mine sent it to me. The girl was almost my age. It just struck me. I am killing myself for self-improvement and that's how cheap my life is? Why even bother? Maybe if I lived in a different world where justice exist I wouldn't have asked this question. Life is unfair which discourages me from persisting. I have literally lost my motivation to persistently seek my immature dreams and I am feeling so empty now. Play and learn, huh? That's it? Is that life? I can't help but to perceive our world with utter disdain.

As days passes by, I am starting to realise how cheap our life really is. Huh.. Where do I even start? .. 16-year-old girl beaten and burned alive by lynch mob in Rio Bravo, Guatemala? I will make the assumption that you are aware of what's going on around the globe. How FUCKING disgusting this world really is. I gave up religion when I turned 15. It was a realisation that this faith consisted of hoaxes and legends. At least back then there was a warm feeling of security and meaning in life. Being an atheist was really tough for me, it literally was and still is heart-rending so to speak. Then I found you guys talking about something called "spiritual enlightenment". I am 18 at the present moment. It depressed the SHIT out of me, just like the last time when I realised that God's benevolence wasn't real. I'm no longer depressed, or at least I want to think of myself as such. I've lost a sibling, lived in poverty and now struggling with studies & career. My social life is really poor. I don't even talk to my father [Called the police on him once]. I just want to know.. why hustle? Why seek success? Why try to find a soulmate? Why even bother to thrive in this rat race? JUST WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF LIFE ANYMORE!? No drama folks, I don't want your pity or sympathy and I know I should man the fuck up and stop whining like a kid. I just wish that somebody who's wise enough comprehends the situation and gives me a direction. Appreciate any comment/criticism/advice.

Definition of technology: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes, especially in industry. Mhm.... *facepalm again*

ROFLMAO! .. You want opinions? Trust me, this anxiety proves nothing but your constrained sexuality. My friend, you are gay. Deal with it and leave women to us.

@Gabriel David Gomez If you haven't already, make a YouTube channel like @Leo Gura. Your propositions may attract a fan base under your name. The world being fundamentally logic? That's new. I mean logic is not a tangible thing, it's the science that deals with reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. So I am not sure what to say here, however I totally agree with the fact that the universe works upon logic. Does that make logic the core of reality or a descriptor of a deeper truth? Is it just a map or the land itself? The usual definition of logic favours the former, just a map. Good luck with the publication, I wish you all the best.

Uses science [Computer, electricity, internet, servers, software, algorithmic formulas and much more] to connect to this site and calls it an illusion!? ..... .............. ....................... *Facepalm*

@Gabriel David Gomez Your ideology is similar to that of Elliott Hulse, with a linguistic touch.

Buy a breathalyzer, follow the instructions and paste the results. Then I will tell you what's going on.

@7oo13ad The quote changed my perceptive on many issues, I'm grateful for your time. Honestly, I asked the question because I was worried about relationships. I was told before to be myself. If somebody connects with me romantically, she will end up falling in love with somebody who isn't me. A person whom I'm pretending to be, thereby fake. However, my personal answer will be no. Just because I've decided to change for somebody, doesn't imply that I am not being me. ------------------------------------------- @Gabriel David Gomez True, I haven't really researched the topic in detail. You can consider me a newbie if you wish. Now I really want to confess, I am really impressed by the high quality response. The answer was frankly dense with information and takes time to digest. My image of what is the personality is quite naive. You perfectly categorised the constitutes of a "self". Whereas my ideas lacked introspection and a keen reflection regarding the self. Absolutely! All I am doing is constructing shallow structures on what it means to be yourself. Perhaps I should focus on detaching my thoughts on who I am and just be that person. Let go of ideas and erase its presence altogether. As you said, it's constraining you only.

@Gabriel David Gomez, I'm honestly, quite grateful for sharing your perspective on the matter. However, it seems to me, that it was merely a form of spiritual enlightenment [Which I'm not a fan of] rather than the low conscious dilemma of being told "be yourself". My intention was to clarify what it means to be yourself within the realm of practicality and usefulness to succeed in life. And by success here, I am talking about the general definition; more or less, the achievement in the realm of financial, psychological and relationships terms. Often, I hear these words even when I read a book on investment: it will frequently point out that you should pick the plan that suits your personality and is compatible with your attitude. So I speculated on whether there's a "fixed self" to take into account while making major decisions. Should I avoid complex plans because I was described before as impulsive? If I act calm for weeks & months, can I outline calmness as a part of my authentic self, or is it fake because I used to be emotional? In this case scenario, is getting rid of impulsiveness equivalent of not being yourself?

Leo is known to be a contradictory person . I would say intellectually it takes few minutes for the average person to comprehend & wrap his/her head around the whole business. Beyond that, I am not qualified to answer your question.

@Frogfucius, I have to admit. That was eye-opening, the fact that language doesn't deliver the precise condition of your body. Including feelings and needs. Verbalising your present situation can lead to an invalid interpretation, hence it's an incorrect resemblance of you. Mr.Sage & Wise Toad , I've learned today from you, that my inner voice can be unmistakably described as ignorant. Appreciate your input.