I'm a very new meditator. I've only been meditating for about six weeks. For the past 5 days or so I've been experiencing strong emotions during my sits. I wasn't surprised by this. The instructions I've read and videos I've watched on meditation told me to expect this. I go thru it by trying to experience the emotion as fully as possible while remaining objective and observing my reaction. Sometimes I'll pour gasoline on the emotion to get it to burn hotter. It's working great. My brain feels 50 pounds lighter.
I've been experiencing the emotions I expected: anger, fear, sorrow, even blind rage. Usually the emotion is preceded by a tightness in the chest and a few gasping breaths. The emotion usually lasts about 5 to 10 minutes. Tonight, however, it began with convulsions. I doubled over and began drooling, spitting, making grunting noises and laughing softly. This lasted for over half an our. After the emotion went away I ended my session and went to post about it here. As I sat down at my computer I started to feel it again. I went back to meditate and the feeling lasted for another 15 minutes. I ended the session when I realized that I was starting to wallow in the emotion.
The emotion I felt I can only describe as pure evil. It was just maliciousness.
It wasn't frightening. I just found really interesting. I didn't realize this side of myself existed, but looking back at my life, yeah, I've done some pretty mean things. Now that I'm aware of it I can make changes to the way I treat other people.
Anyway, something I thought I should share.
