Lily273

and how do you explain that you are deleting normal non offensive comments that you did not like on your own videos? i read a comment on your "opnemindedness" last video and after few days this comments was gone, i regret the money i have paid for your course, honestly, i thought you are tiny bit better that those false teachers out there that are only after money and fame, but you only talk , your actions show none of the enlightenment you say you have .. it is sad i have been following you for good 5 years but now i see that its time to walk away .

it was faster than the speed of light or speed of thought whichever one is fastest maybe the thought because at the later recollection you remember a last thought - i am dying but its an incomplete thought half of that thought gets distorted by time, freezes in time as if slowly melting and falling into infinite white hole and just being suspended there like an endless geometrical structure... one second you are the human who has been building your life as you know it, the next second hasnt even finished yet when you are not... you are not anything . and you cant even know it or think about it because your mind doesnt exist ... you dont exist and you dont know you have ever existed there is nothing left from everything you know and you are not aware of this either.... what is there ? its whiteness.... infinite whiteness . whatever is there which is also here can not be described by words unless one starts to invent words or easier just to find approximate words.... there is no thought but also no feeling there is noone to feel or think or know anything. the whiteness is endless it seems static but its dynamic also , simultaneously, its being and becoming things all the time endlessly, its forming things that are hard to describe but that are fundamental to everything... there are white "structures" "geometries??" in these whiteness that are infinitely small and each small "component" is infinite and has infinite number of small components and all is flowing simultaneously but also it has nowhere to flow as it moves in its staticness this whiteness is always there until it isnt anymore, its now ink black, the ink black is the white anyway they are the same... the ink white/black is deeply infinite. . the ink blackness underlies everything it is everything and then slowly yet super fast the ink blackness is and some endless part of it is turned into forms that form everything , forms and shapes resembling forms and shapes familiar and in that instant there is the one / the me , who is understanding this resembling who knows there is idea of resemblance and who realizes there is a someone who perceives this ink dark.. instantly the ink blackness is now seen as "things/structures/building blocks " that form everything and the more the understanding happens, the more the forms are covered by surfaces, the surfaces are not solid they are shaking and fluctuating between solid and powder like , these surfaces are the surfaces of everything that cover/hide the ink blackness the absoluteness of the reality . then there is i , the knowing that i am here somewhere and that all these surfaces are extension of me somehow but i am not me as i know it, just a metter of fact fabric . there are no emotions, this is not spiritual , this is not scientific , you can see how this is really very different and very neutral, it is very neutral, it is alive, but not in a way we think of life, but its certainly very very neutral, it has no agenda, it is the absoluteness and it is the everything , it doesnt want or need anything and such concept have no place .... in retrospect it seems that there is a "of course it is how it is" everywhere the sense of i starts to narrow down and more it narrows down the more the structures become less shaking and more solidified covering the underlying ink black, the sense of how far/stretched/vast i am occurs , ocean like smile that have melted down like an endlessly expanded ice cream river slowly starts shrinking down as everything else, until it finally is only limited to my lips , then i discover lips, breathing, heart, fingers,... objects ... then there is the world, here, and memory comes back, the mind starts to try to understand what happened, and wonders how come there was something while it wasnt there, i remember now who i am as a human and what i took and hence why all this ... first my mind wonders why there was no emotion? many people talk about infinite love and god how come i couldnt call any of this love and god and feel something? but i let my mind relax , it doesnt matter. so mind is a sort of camera/receptor machine, it scans the absolute reality with the senses it has employed, and constructs surfaces and filters down this absoluteness into forms and things that we see, they appear solid for this reason it seems... the infinitness is always there/here .. it will be impractical it seems, to be perceiving the absoluteness directly all the time and functioning in this particular world /society /culture , hence mind is there to serve this function for life to take place in this particular way, many of the possible ways ... ego is that , the mind and body and everything to do with the gross body and the less tangible mind .. ego is not bad or good these things dont apply, it is what it is and it is necessary to do its part, ego did not create itself , but it was made for this reason - to sustain life .. and it is easy to die it seems, it is just like allowing yourself to fall ... maybe if one has unfulfilled desires or thoughts these could be an issue, maybe. if one does not want anything from the world anymore, not because the world is bad or good, or that one is sad or depressed, but because one is fulfilled and doesnt need anything, then the fall, the letting all that you know including that knowing to fall is possible, it is not a conscious process though ,,, its inner beautiful emptiness that allows to expand and breathe out last time if life is here to be, then its beautiful and if this life is not here anymore , then thats also beautiful everything is neutral and there are no fears ... am i different person now? i dont think so, only few things have changed, now i know that i will keep on meditating and continue my life as it is, if it ends at any second i will completely surrender in a heartbeat .. i still have to work on all the things i was working on previously but now with just added realization that actually it doesnt matter if i do these or that .. one cant do anything wrong.. its just doing what seems most pleasing to ones own mind and others around them, and if one fails so its ok ego isnt bad , its not something to try to get rid of, its a coat , its a peace of cloth and one needs to keep it clean and wear it with gratitude and when not needed anymore, drop it with gratitude too all is ok with everything i have not done any prior drugs and will not do anything in the future either, there is really no need i am grateful for life as it is and its a great journey to experience while its here, experience without getting attached to anything and letting go anytime i feel more liberated, feel people , animals and all objects closer now there is no such thing as important, and no such thing as more or less important, i am no more important than the plastic on my desk and the grass blade , none of any of the things are more or less important than others, all of the things of the everything are essential and necessary but not important set and setting was something i wanted to cover from the beginning but didnt want to bore the readers, all i can say is that the set was a long hard process that went from hell to heaven with constant work, love and dedication. setting was http://www.psilohuasca.com/magic-toad/

Yes would be interesting to hear Leo on these too...

Dear friends, i nkow what you mean, as much as you want ot meditate, but that bad lower back or other aches in other parts of the body make it harder for the already wondering mind to become still, so even taking one problem out of the equation can improve the meditation for us the unenlightened ones. For months i was struggling with posture, until i went to India and stayed in the ashram, see here in UK a teacher wouldnt touch me, but there in India, the yoga teacher/students staying in the ashram would comfortably touch and adjust you, without any concept of agenda whatsoever, pure blessed minds,,. So after months of back ache, this one yoga teacher adjusted my spine a bit, my shoulders , even my chin, he basically made tiny adjustments as i was seated here and there and i felt really comfortable, and so grateful instantly Do in my very humble opnion it will be hard for Leo to give advise on posture as i think one has to see your posture and be there to correct you. my little advice is to go to a meditation centre, join a meditation group or something, and see if there is an experience teacher/a guide, and ask them to check your posture. Another thing you can do is seat next to a mirror and correct yourself - in essence you want your spine to be tall, your shoulders relaxed, your chin is slightly tacked in , the spine is creating a natural curve, while chest is open as much as comfortable, also if you are doing any mudras with your fingers, i would say try to not do it (this can stress your fingers and resonate all the way to shoulderblades) would also suggest against any type of lotus like foot posutres, the thing is many us westerness try to replicate these seating postures, but those guys in India are used to seating like that from childhood, its just customary to them, whereas we have to consider our own habbits and unless you are really flexible and have no problem seating any complicated cross legged, just sit on a chair . Also just make one change at a time, and see if it works then move onto the next change.

Dear Leo First please accept my deepest gratitude for all your work... there is a gap , massive gap, there is theory, that can be interpreted in milloins of ways and the applications are not straight forward, and then there are the enlightened masters who speak in symbols (if they do speak) so what happens in between it seems that nobody wants to talk about... Nobody that i came across with , nobody but you, so far that i am grateful and certainly many people who folow your videos and have signed up for your book list (for which also i am so grateful, it would have been taken me ages to stumble upon all these books individually) share the same gratitude i think... I have been pracitcing meditation but not on regular basis, for several years now, and only in the last few months started dedicating more time and doing it daily, following your self-enquiry and strong determination seating... i am also in process of doing 3-4 times a day one hour seating.... Something happened to me when i did the neti neti with you ,,, i dont find many words to describe but there was silence the kind i have never known before, deep, veyr silent silence, silence that felt like i needed and wanted so much, perhaps my mind stopped thinking for fraction of a second, in any case, it rendered everything else i have experienced so far a bit pointless, so that now i am less and less focused on what i would pursue in the past... ?.. My mind keeps going over your words, and yes i know you may say that the mind cant comprehend this things, but for now thats the only tool i have and thinking is the only thing i know... You say i am nothingness.... that contains space and time.. . this means me and you and everyone else is the same nothingness so there is no distinction between me Lily and pretty much everything else around me ... and that the nothingness which is constant was there before the body as i know it and identify with started its existence,,, so why is the nothingness linked/attached to this particual self/body/entity? why is it that the nothingness that i am is perceiving things through this particular Lily the person ? if i am to my body the same as to a coffee table, then why is it that an assigning/identifying to this particular body took place? ... i am trying to keep my mind open for this possibility and just contemplate or go in silence with it... what helps is that i go back to moments from childhood, something very vividly stuck with me, in kindergarten when i wasnt allowed to go out of the balcony there was this overwhelming sense of ability to hover/fly/disperse in space but frustration that i was somehow contained in this body, the first time i looked at my own legs, as i was putting on a colourful leggings i was given, i have realised that ohh so these are my legs, this is me? it felt scary and alien and ver often as a child i would look in the mirror and not buy into that this is me.. perhaps these are just childish nonsense, but it helps to present to my mind an alternative scenario that i did have some 32 years ago of what i was, and the no identification of the body.... Apologies for the long post, please , pleasee kindly make a video of where you share your thoughts on the WHYs which nobody addresses, i know that the masters generic answer is somethign along the lines of - the WHY isnt important or that the WHY is created by the ego, or that knowing the WHY will not give me anything, but these sound more like people avoding to share their thoughts, afterall theres no harm in contemplating and trying to understand why ... and yes sure understand is the wrong word again... PLease tell us why do you think the nothingness that is our true nature, gets assigned/identified into the little individual small letter selves where each one is different but in reality everything is one and the same? Thank you so much for your time and for everything

not a Brit, but been in UK for 10 years now and live in Croydon atm, anyone nearby, get in touch