Well, you are in a dream where you dream a society. This society is evil, it has always been evil, but your whole life depends on it. You were born from evil-doers and you are entangled with the evil-doing of your imagined society.
Just remember that everyone is lost in survival, just like you.
Certainly not. It fact it will probably devolve in many ways.
Hard to say.
You can change some things if you really apply yourself.
Getting old sucks and then you die a miserable death.
Sure, of course.
I don't know cause I have never been asked.
I notice you have a lot of questios which you expect some easy pat answers to, when the right thing is to do the work to have your own insights. My verbal answer do not give you genuine understanding. You have to earn the answers through years of contemplation and experience. I can't just give them to you like a basket of apples.
When you realize Truth it is self-validating and completely obvious. That's what Awakening is and it cannot be wrong. You could misunderstand it though or build a fantasy around it, but that's another matter.
Anti-5-MeO is what you've been puffing your whole life.

Add Sean Carrol, Sam Harris, and Daniel Dennet to the idiot column for completeness
And add Newton, Leibniz, Godel, and Cantor to the real scientist column.

Fear is always about the future.
You don't fear your past rape. You fear having to experience that again.
And even if you are afraid of your memories of that event, what you fear is re-living that experience (via your memories) in the future.
So even fear of a memory is fear of the future, not the past. Because fear is fundamentally resistance to future experience. If something has already been experienced, or is being currently experienced, it is not feared, since it's already here there is no need to fear it.
Don't believe me. Explore how fear actually works in your direct experience. Notice whether your fear is actually of the past, the present, or the future. This requires some good mindfulness skill.
Be careful not to turn this into speculation about how fear works. Do not speculate or guess! Actually look at what fear is doing in your direct experience. There's no room for guesswork here.
Is fear about the past or the future? Don't guess! Check what your fear is doing.

How to be calm, collected, graceful and cool
1. A 50 minute, non-stop brisk walk (in nature if that is possible and easy for you), with ZERO phone, and if you listen to music then an mp3 player only with soothing beats. You can google a walking meditation if you feel inspired and try that. Once per day, or as needed.
If you do this before bed, you will sleep better and you will need less sleep. Oh, and you'll get to sleep better also.
If you do this in the morning, you will have a happier day and feel joyous, better and healthier. You will FEEL it, not just be it.
It is highly important to leave your phone off or at home for this to work.
2. Less phone time, less online time, in general. Reduce your phone and internet time as much as possible LONG TERM. This is so important, don't just dismiss this point. If you are serious about never feeling anxious again or feeling jealous again, then please delete all of your social media accounts and even consider dramatically reducing you time on this forum.
3. Yes, magnesium is a great supplement to purchase. Four different doctor have told me that magnesium is the #1 most common missing element that most people are missing from their diet. You will feel happier, more energetic, and you will be smiling more in the day. The first day I began taking magneiusm powder, not only did my should cramps in gymnastics permanently disappear but I felt more 'bubbly'
4. Fish or krill oil. Along with magnesium, these are the only 2 supplements you will ever need to take in your life if you feel up for buying and spending money on supplements. This is a long-term thing, you will not notice it right away. It will take about 2 months before you notice fish oil works.
5. If you generally feel anxious every day, and if you don't already, I recommend eating EGGS every single day for one month. Do not skip any days when eating eggs. DO NOT SKIP ANY DAYS. You will feel....more.....masculine and Gaston.
6. If you have never tried it before, some minimal Wim Hof breathing, or pranayama breathing, or deep oxygenation of the system based on periodic breathing, or Buteyko breathing, done EVERY SINGLE DAY will destroy your anxiety and make you very calm, centred and cool. You can get a little high doing these breathing items and its a rapid fast way to get centered.
 
And, if you haven't began already, yes, please begin some form of meditation.
Do not be dogmatic with the meditation and get advise from dogmatic meditation methods.
Find something that is 'good enough' and begin meditating for at least 15 minutes EVERY SINGLE DAY at a minimum. If you ever extend the sessions to 45 minutes or so, you will find your focus go up, Zen go up, ability to enjoy things go up, and overall you will become a bit of a psychic. Sorry, it's a consequence.
Good luck in becoming a calmer, happier, more confident being that you know in your heart is your birthright.

@FacelessI wholeheartedly agree with that. There's a variety of psychic powers other than clairvoyance, and each one one of them usually has very high skill-cap and can be self-taught, albeit different people have different natural aptitudes. Using the example of clairvoyance (which simply means clear-seeing), what I mean by skill cap is how these psychic powers can have 'different flavors/utilization', depending on how you train it. Clairvoyance can range from just having intuitive thoughts, to having extra-sensory perception, to hearing messages from spirits, to seeing the future or alternate timelines in a direct visual experience, to just being able to see auras which are essentially colors radiated through the electro-magnetic field, as all colors do, which helps you read people's mood or even thoughts to some extent. All these multifaceted skills are interconnected with one another and they synergize really well together, especially in helping you gain a direct experience of what reality is.

If you're interested in developing your own psychic power(s), it's very helpful to first develop your intuitions and concentration, even if in the end you don't really delve into the clairvoyance stuff and maybe are more interested in something like Reiki Healing, or even Luciferian Magick, Light/rainbow body, Reality Transurfing (based on a book written by a Russian quantum physicist/mystic named Vadim Zeland), telepathy, transportation, telekinesis, pyromancy, entity channeling etc. There's so much 'secret' paranormal powers that nowadays people are distributing more responsibly and accessibly everywhere. Most of the time you don't really need to find a specific one that you like, though that will probably take you on a great adventure, but mostly just focus on what's available in your area and in the vast world of the internet, because ultimately all these psychic powers share a common energetic source that people around the world have different names for, and also utilize differently. If not, the world would be a boring place. Magic is everywhere and so are magicians. You just have to believe, but at the same time, let go of all your beliefs. RPG games and fantasy novels can be scarily accurate at times, despite how cheesy it might seem at a surface level, especially with their terminologies in the items (everything from weapons, accessories, heck even potions which are probably inspired by psychedelics/herbs) , spells, stats (such as mana), etc.

Which brings me back to what I said earlier about developing intuitions and concentration, because games, if you don't fall the wrong side of the mindless addiction, can help train these traits, especially strategy games. I personally play chess since I was young, and it really helped me become comparatively more predictive and strategic in my everyday life than non-chess players. There are certain things that only chess players can 'see', heck probably even Go/Wei Qi players, which is an even more complicated game than chess despite how much simpler it looks. And it also helped me get to the present moment, especially when playing bullet chess (each player has 1 minute) online with high latency (lag), because you really get a sense of making decisions moment by moment. Though like I said, chess is just an example, you gotta find your own developmental 'hobby' that could synergize with your meditation habits. One of the most helpful mindsets to have, is that despite having a specific goal in mind, you also need to have the humility to admit that you don't really know what's the 'best power' for you, or anyone else to have, and that at times, just training despite not knowing what powers you will develop, is good enough. Let the fruits of your labor surprise you, though it ultimately depends on the seeds you planted. A good theoretical background to have, is on things like the chakra system (At least just the basic 7 colors system, which could be found in rainbows), which actually has some parallels with spiral dynamics, down to its colors, though they can be very different too, and general physics and metaphysics. From absorbing random information about these topics (even things like zodiacs, astronomy, astrology are connected too), you would develop your intuition as your database of knowledge expands, though you have to keep this database liquid 90% of the time, unless you really need it to be solidified to first understand it and make use of it specifically, as much as possible.

But aside from all these mental and spiritual activities, it is also important to provide enough and the right type of nourishment and activities, to our physical body. I recommend ketogenic diet and intermittent fasting (or even OMAD, which stands for one meal a day) for longevity and efficiency of energy production and usage. Using fats as fuel, maintain a manageable production of insulin, which then prevents the cells in your body from becoming insulin resistant from the over production of insulin which are generally caused by the over-consumption of protein and carbohydrates, especially if they are not in forms easily utilized by the body (or too easily utilized, depending on the situation). When your cells are insulin resistant, insulin could not bind to these cells, and your cells wouldn't be able to utilize carbohydrates and protein, which in long story short, would either end up becoming stored as fats and sticking to your body tissues as it accumulates, which trigger an immune respond that would remove these sticky stuff, but also causes scarring on these tissues, which shortens the telomere (in simple terms, gene sequence 'zipper') of your cells, accelerating aging and increasing the risk of inflammation and cancer. Whereas using fats and therefore relying on ketosis, will keep all the complex processes in your body in homeostasis, which will directly translate to how you experience your thoughts and emotions, especially when developing your psychic power(s). A legal and particularly popular adaptogen, that also has a bit nootropical effect (maybe even psychoactive to a little tiny extent), could help greatly in managing the hormonal processes in your body, improving your concentration and stamina, sexual and atheletic. It's called Ashwagandha. Another popular one would be Maca and Tripahala (a combination of three herbs), among many others like classic turmeric and ginger, and even hemp products (aka industrial cannabis, which uses non-psychoactive parts of the plant). It would'nt purify and break you down like a 5-meo dmt, but at the very least, there is no legal issue and it's relatively cheap, considering you don't have to travel or even pay a trip sitter. There's a lot of dietary techniques to be researched about by yourself to aid your self-development and maintenance, which also includes what I mentioned earlier about fasting (intermittent and prolonged), particularly hydrated fasting (still drinking liquids throughout the day that wouldn't break your fast, which essentially means to keep your insulin activity, or glycemic index, low by not consuming any protein and carb, or as low as possible, to re-supply your body with essential minerals/electrolytes (ionic form, usually dissolved in solvent, of minerals which are actually the useful ones for you body), which are more absorb-able in fluids than solids).

There's a lot of studies done on fasting. I'll just simplify the benefits. Basically, in a fasted state, around 12 hours into it, your body will start producing  tons of HGH hormones in order to help the body preserve its muscles, and also build them, so it's actually good for building muscles, or just preserving them in general, as long as you exercise regularly to let your body know, "Hey, I actually need these muscles.". If not, your body will break them down for fuel through muscle atrophy, and conversely, if you exercise, your body will prioritize maintaining its muscles and using your fats, dietary or the ones already inside your body, as fuel, and even to convert it to glucose itself for the brain, which means that you don't actually have to consume glucose or any other carbs, other than for very high intensity physical activity, in which the high spike of energy are produced through the anaerobic respiration, which is largely inefficient and requires lots of glucose, but very explosive in nature. Which dispels the myth about how unhealthy it is to fast. Secondly, it also improves the efficiency of brain activities, by limiting it to only certain areas, unlike how people who eat a lot, especially if it's high in carb and protein, who tend to be very unfocused and emotionally unintelligent with their higher blood glucose and pressure, and the over-stimulation of chemical signals in the brain. So that dispels the other myth about needing to constantly eat food to keep your brain functioning. It's quite hard to get used to, but it works, though it's not necessarily for everybody, especially one meal a day. Another helpful skill/education to have, is the ability to understand the nuances in food nutritional labels, and also the ingredients used, especially in a ketogenic diet, which mainly comprises of around 80% fats and 20% or even lower protein, and as little carb as possible. Carbs/sugars are the most addictive substance on the planet, period. Even more so than alcohol. I recommend consuming apple cider vinegar, or coconut vinegar, to help anyone transition to having a low-carb diet, as the the ascetic acid that is present in all vinegar (though not all vinegar is free of preservatives and other toxins) is extremely beneficial for the body, not just physiologically in terms of lowering your blood glucose levels and reabsorbing minerals, but also epigenetically in terms of reshaping your bodily functions (and potentially your offsprings) to have more affinity towards ketosis as means of energy production and consumption. And if the addiction is really bad, i recommend consuming probiotics and prebiotics (food for the probiotics aka the good gut bacteria that helps with digestion), from things like fibrous food, kefir, yougurt, some sour veggies, probiotics water, mushroom tea/coffee/elixir etc, but make sure that they have very low sugar content, at most 50 g, though I still find that to be quite high and you don't really need to much of them (not saying to consume all I've just mentioned, just choose one).

But the most important dietary needs in all biological life, is the air, not just oxygen. Anything can be utilized by your body, as long as it learns to adapt to it. When you smell something bad, you should look at the bright side, in knowing that at the very least, no matter how potentially toxic it might be, the fact that you are smelling it, means your nose is 'filtering the bad stuff' in the air so you can use the 'good stuff'. The most effective way of having your daily oxygen meal, is Wim Hof breathing technique. Literally, the machines used to measure the levels of oxygen in his blood, broke because there's just wayyy too much of oxygen, in a good way, that strengthens his alkalinity and immunity (anti-oxidant, because to grossly simplify, his blood is already oxygenated) and improves the circulation of energy throughout his body. Though, some cardio exercises, particularly High Intensity Intervals Training (HIIT), and also some yogas and pranayamas, heck even tantric sex, are more than good enough for your body to not only get sufficient amount of air, but also helps you become more aware, and therefore improve how your body process all of these free abundant energy that's all in our atmosphere, and also of what goes on in and also out of your body in general, which as @Leo Gura once said, awareness itself is curative, as just the process of becoming more and more aware of your body at the subtlest level itself will already heal and empower your body. It starts with the breath, but eventually you also have to spread and increase your level of consciousness to all parts of your body, to the point that you won't even have a body anymore in a sense that you won't personally identify as anything specifically physical. But before that, you have to explore every edge of the physical world, including 'your' own body. Until then, the 'transcendental' world will patiently wait for you/itself. Like I said earlier, regular exercises is not just for increasing our awareness of the breath, but also for maintaining our muscles from atrophy. And also to get used to really making use of as much as possible of what is accessible for you, including 'your' body. Because in general, if things are not used, they will start to decay, just from it feeling that it is useless because of its lack of use. Everything is useful! As long as you are mindfully using them that is, nothing can go wrong. If you can't grasp even a little of what I'm saying, your psychic power(s) is already manifesting itself, because ultimately, these powers are just ways we could utilize this one universal energy that proceeds all other forms of energy. And the human body is a very sophisticated instrument when it comes to utilizing this energy because it is constantly evolving innovating its usage at such an exponential rate!

The human history has always been in ebb and flow between psychic evolution and psychic regression, especially with the flux in its global population and culture. Right now, I believe, we're in the middle of another global psychic evolution, because with all the knowledge and skills humanity have accumulated for ... a very long time, we've become more and more strategic in how we develop our psyche and evolve each other's through our interactions, without threatening the pre-existing immature paradigms, and also transcending the limits perceived by our ancestors. Anyways, as I'm writing this, I feel more and more empowered and inspired by our potentials as humans. I hope, whoever is reading is, you are too, by your own potential! As always, good luck in your endeavors and much love!

P.S. Feel free to point out some of the misconceptions or errors in the things I've said. I'd appreciate it a lot, and I recommend doing your own research instead of just taking everything I said as given.

You are making this some grandiose thing. There is no leap of faith. Just live your life with passion and joy. That's all self-actualization is saying.
What is the point of living a life you hate? That is just stupidity and laziness. When you realize this, and you get serious about living a good life, you will discover that personal development and raising your consciousness are the best tools for that. And when you raise your consciousness high enough, there you will find God.
All your current ideas about God are wrong, and so were Kierkegaard's.

This is my recount of my first experience with LSD. I would like to begin by saying that I felt a level of stress in my life before I took this substance. I felt that all of society was constantly conspiring against my growth and development as a human being heading towards self-actualization. I awoke before 7 a.m. in the morning and I retrieved my LSD. For this trip I would not have a trip sitter available so I was on my own, however I have done high dose psychedelics from a nondual perspective in the past and thus I felt confident in my set and setting. I had four LSD tabs. I tested the tabs the day before using the Erlich testing reagent and they all registered as authentic Lysergic acid diethylamide. I cleared my room of anything that could potentially be damaged or that I might accidentally hurt myself with. I listened to Gregorian chants for about five minutes and began to meditate. I turned off all technology around me. After this I looked at the tabs of LSD and said, “I will go wherever you take me with grace”. I then placed the four tabs underneath my tongue and meditated at the edge of my bed. After what felt like 20 to 30 minutes the tabs dissolved and I swallowed them.                                                                                                                   
Shortly after this I felt the first effects begin to take place. It felt as if all of the nerves just beneath my skin were warmed up by the substance. My mind while in a calm and meditative state became hyperaware of my surroundings. The mind asked questions such as will I be safe without a trip sitter? I slowly began to pass out as the LSD entered my serotonergic system. The LSD assured me that I would be safe. Then I saw a fractal energetic alien looking figure that said, “Ok, let’s get this started.” Next the ego structure melted. My body began to move in the bilateral yoga positions that Martin Ball talks about. My body contorted into positions which normally I couldn’t do. I had experienced this strange phenomenon before with psilocybin mushrooms. On the level of sensory perception I experienced something extremely strange. It was as if my senses began to meld into each other. No longer could I distinctly hear, see, smell, taste, or feel anything independently of each other. I smelled sensations, and heard colors, as insane as that sounds. My entire body was almost vibrating from the amount of nervous system stimulation that it was receiving.  Notably, for what seemed like quite a while, my hands began to move in very odd ways and  preformed a very strange type of sign language which was completely out of my control. It was as if the LSD had possessed my body and was trying to see how it could guide me similar to my psilocybin trip. Throughout most of the trip the mind was constantly making comparisons and drawing parallels my prior mushroom trip. However unlike psilocybin the lysergic acid diethylamide was much more lenient as a substance as the curious ego structure was not ever abruptly silenced. The nature of this substance in my opinion was a bit more lucid and exploratory than other psychedelics that I had experienced.      
After this my body passed out for a second time. My ego structure was further dissolved and my consciousness/awareness was sent to a place far outside of space and time. It was at this point that I was shown the infinity of existence. I am completely lacking in the vocabulary necessary to convey exactly what I experienced but I will do my best.  My consciousness/awareness came to a place where it was shown the World of Form from an objective viewpoint. All of creation was seen as an Absolute Infinity in every way. I saw the infinite ever changing fractal nature of existence. My awareness was transported to other places across the world of form as well.  I was shown what I can only describe as organic computers. These spiritual machines several millions of orders of magnitude more powerful than even the most advanced human quantum computers today. I also saw what I would call energetic crystal architecture. I distinctly remember a palace of sorts it looked like a cathedral and Hindu temple made of pure crystalline light. It was beyond beautiful. It was in complete harmony with the ecology of its setting.                                                                                                                                                                                    
Fractals were everywhere and in everything. During this experience the ego wished to revisit the Akashic Records that it had seen before from the psilocybin; however the LSD conveyed that it’s all an Absolute Infinity, even the Akashic Records containing all of the knowledge in the multiverse are only an infinitesimally small part of the Absolute Infinity of existence.  At this point the experience became chaotic as I lived the lives of countless organisms. The stories of entire lives were experienced in immeasurably short lengths of time.  The mind was racing at the sheer amount of stimulation from the experience. Then the most amazing part of the experience occurred. I will do my best to describe this using the limits of language I was shown existence from outside of existence. I saw the totality of the infinity of existence as incomprehensibly beautiful and profoundly complex infinite fractals. Each fractal was an infinite layer of novelty. I began to hear this extremely strange yet beautiful “cosmic music”, the music of infinity. This music still played until I went to sleep that night. I learned that reality is infinite to such a degree that it cannot be anything else.                                                                                                                 
My awareness returned to my body but was different. At this point I was still tripping extremely heavily. My entire field of vision was almost completely immersed in intricate morphing fractals of beauty. The state of awareness of my mind was very different.  I began to gesture to smoke an imaginary blunt. Each time I took a hit from this nonexistent blunt my awareness became more and more aligned, aware and existential. Next, what happened was extremely beautiful. After about three hits from the imaginary blunt I began to speak in a voice that was not my own. It was as if the consciousness of the totality of existence began to speak through me. I had a dialogue with God. My mind would think thoughts and the body would reply verbally, channeling the message of this unity consciousness. I began to speak words that were not my own. It was as if the voice of God (being the infinity of existence) entered my entire being. God told me the following things using my body as a vector to relay.                                                                                                                                                                                  
“Reality is an absolute infinity.”                                                                                                                                                
“The way your species is living on this planet doesn’t make any sense. You’re causing so much suffering. This earth is all we’ve got. We don’t have any way of moving out and even if we did wed just severely damage another planet.”                                                                                                                                                 
“All of reality is infinite and everything is simply various forms which I use to experience existence and express myself and that’s really it, now you can do whatever you want with that.”                                               
“ It’s all an absolute infinity!”                                                                                                                                     
“Everything in all of the totality of existence is an absolute infinity in every way. “I really don’t know how I can make it any more apparent to you.”              
“It’s infinite to such a degree that its infinity to the infinite root of infinity.”                                                         
“As long as you know that it’s all one you’ll be ok.”                                                                                                 
“Everything is going to be alright.”
“You really don’t have anything to worry about young man. You’re on the right track. Stop rushing. That’s fear.”                                                                                           
“ Fear is illusory.”                                                                                                                                                                            
“Don’t hold yourself back. I don’t hang out with people that hold themselves back, man!”          
“Really after all we’ve been through, after all the species has been through, you’re really gonna hold yourself back?” At this point I started crying, the mind realized the huge amount of suffering that it has caused itself over the course of its 20 years of life.                                                                                                                     
“Enough with the excuses, no more excuses, stop holding yourself back.”                                  
“You’re writing a book. That’s good.”                                                                                                                                     
“ All life wants to express itself in every way possible. All lifeforms are expressions and express themselves as fully as they possibly can.”                                                                                                                                    
“If you’re going to do something, do it at your all because it’s an expression of life. Put all of your love, effort and energy into it. Anything less is not worthy of you or authentic of what you are capable of.”                                                                                                                                                                              
“Sometimes you’re not gonna have enough money but you’ll always make it through. You’re not gonna kill yourself that’s a no go.”                                                                                                                                                               
“If we mess up here on earth we are going to mess up there too.”                                                    
“You’re free to do what you want.”                                                                                                                        
I conveyed to God my fears and insecurities regarding being social and vulnerable with other people. I also explained how even though my views of sexuality are by no means conservative that I still have subconscious thoughts which label various parts of the human sexual experience as negative or ugly.  For this I felt ashamed of it. God replied “How’s that bad?! The intricacies of sexuality are just another part of the infinity of existence.”                                               
“You need to lighten up!”                                                                                                                                          
God also addressed my anxieties regarding sex both as it relates to me on an individual and how it relates to the collective.
“You need to have sex. Sex opens you up. It opens your heart.” After this was said, all of the small amount of negativity that I associated with being a virgin left me.
“Choose the way that equates to the most openness, love, life and full expression.” Love equates to openness. At this point my awareness was abruptly transported outside of physical existence again and I saw what I can only describe as an Infinite  energetic fractal torus of everything. It was as if God said, “look at that! That’s the perfection of everything flowing freely. This is what you are. You are an energetic free flowing being. You are infinity. You are a microcosm of the macrocosm. Whenever you dwell in fear or doubt you block this ever present flow of energy within yourself. You deny me. But most of all you deny yourself.” I was also told things about the power of the placebo effect. However I do not remember exactly what was said.
“What will it take for you to live the life that you know you can live?!”                                                                   
“You’re divine yet you live in shit hmm how’d that happen? (Referring to the human species)                   
“Because you doubted me. Because you live in fear. Because you believe in the illusion of separation. The illusion of duality.”                                                           
"There is only the infinite trans-temporal eternal pregnant present moment, of infinite possibility. What your species calls time, time does not exist.”                                                                                                                              
After this the dialogue ended. I went into a different trance like state where a menagerie of glossolalia came from me. I spoke in words which sounded very similar to Tibetan throat singing. It felt amazing. I passed out again shortly after this. My awareness was shown the intricacies of energy and food systems, being that they are systems of transactions and that life is about balance in every way. This also relates to life and death.                                                                                   
After some time my awareness returned to my body and the ego structure somewhat reformed. The strange sensations all over my body were so pervasive that I thought I had soiled myself however I did not. My body was covered in sweat. The come down portion of the experience began. It had been roughly seven hours since I had ingested the lysergic acid diethylamide.  I looked towards my bookshelf and was intensely drawn to The power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. As I looked through the pages of the book fractals still immersed my vision however I could still derive information from its pages. I felt so grateful as a looked at the book.  It then came to me that life is all about sex, ecology and spirituality. I put down The Power of Now and looked at my bookshelf again this time at the book Sex, Ecology, Spirituality by Ken Wilber. I went to get the book however I knew that If I picked it up it would have been too much of an emotional overload for me and I would have had a release or break of some sort. I spent a few minutes after this and explored the various books on my shelf.  Afterwards I sat for a bit and simply looked at the many fractals in my visual field. A voice came to me saying that, “Everything is divine.”                                                                    
“Existence is here for you. Now go experience it!”
I then turned on my phone and listened to the sounds of the Didgeridoo instrument and listened to ambient music. This added a level of intensity to the experience.  When I looked at the sheets on my bed I was what I can only describe as tribal art, in action. The hallucinations looked like the cave paintings in France had become fully animated on the sheets of my bed. I was very introspective; my mind was racing with thoughts however I paid them no attention. My hands were still moving in this strange sign language fashion. As time passed I walked around my home and I thought to myself, “this is the quintessential psychedelic experience, most of those pieces of psychedelic art that I’ve seen were inspired by this very experience.” I now understood why LSD played such a large part during the 1960s.                         
I began to look out of the window to my backyard. I watched the trees; grass and sky all begin to morph into several fractals. As I looked outside I saw a squirrel scurrying around in my backyard. As I looked at this squirrel it too began to morph into fractals. At this point I realized that I was not looking at a squirrel but at a reflection of myself and the infinity of existence. I felt a love that I cannot describe, for humans do not have the language for it. The feeling of Absolute Oneness and Absolute Infinity was so much that my mind could not take it anymore. I completely broke down and began to cry extremely emotionally. Tears flowed like waterfalls down my face and I couldn’t believe that this was real. That I was real, that life was a thing, that both you and I are absolutely ONE.                 
After this the mind began to calm. My brother returned home a bit after this and asked me if I was OK. When I explained what I had just experienced he knew that I needed some time to process the experience. As the LSD experience continued to come down I spoke to a few friends that came over. While they are recreational users they were supportive of what I experienced even though they did not understand. Fractals were still present roughly nine hours after I took the substance however it felt good to be able to converse about the experience. I went to the bathroom after this, and looking at myself I realized that my body and that the bodies of all living things are organic architecture.                                     
The effects continued to dissipate. I had a mild headache however it was nothing intense.  The rest of the day was spent in a state of happiness. I spoke to myself and danced around my room like a crazy person. The effects of the LSD finally wore off after over twelve hours in total. Even after the LSD effects dissipated, my physical body felt different and still feels different. My mind feels different as well. I am already in good physical shape however, I feel much lighter and more agile than I ever have. These are the main things that LSD taught me. Everything is Absolutely Infinite. I need to lighten up as a person and stop being so serious about self-actualization and enlightenment. In closing I would like to say that this experience helped me to work through some very personal stuff and I am grateful to have had this experience. I am a forever changed person.
This video gives a good representation of what my glossolalia was like.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwANedEkqaY
While I can't convey what I experienced when I say absolute infinity this may help. Play and mute this video of fractals while listening to the song below.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7-iyyR-iSg
In another tab play this song and skip to about 2:15, listen to it at 0.75 speed.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z685qqdv3zk
This is the best recreation that I can provide of the most intense and strange part of the experience.