Hi there,I'm 20 years old and I'm sick and frustrated with the way my life has gone for most of my life but mostly specifically the last 4 years. I've been shy for most of my life and have always struggled to make friends and was bullied in school. When I was 14. But situations changed for the better between 14 and 16 where at this time I was extremely happy in my life and although I was still shy ,I had something that I believe in strongly and with conviction which helped me overcome my insecurities.
Until one day my entire world changed DRASTICALLY and this thing which I relied on so much for my happiness was turned against me. I went through a long period of depression and anxiety to the point where school became un important and friends became a distraction. Throughout that entire 4 years I avoided going anywhere with friends or even contacting anyone because I saw basically on survival mode and saw them as distractions.
During this time while trying to deal with my issues I would spend all my time on youtube frantically trying to find answers to my problems which is where I discovered actualized.org. At this point I had watched so many videos that that I had completely forgot the reasons for why I became depressed. At this point my worldview had completely changed and the initial reason for why I became depressed and anxious when I was 16 has completely changed.
As a result I've become more reclusive than ever. I have completely forgotten how to converse with anybody and i haven't contacted anybody in a very long time and now i feel stuck under parental lockdown and struggle to find jobs.
However, I'm optimistic and thankfull for everything which has happened. My worldview and my attitude on life has completely changed and i feel like this is the perfect time.
so to whoever is reading this. Please. Give me tips if you can on how i can start my life from scratch from the ground up and completely change my whole identity.
