nightrider1435

@AleksM Yeah for me its more about what you said last. I'm making this so much harder then it has to be, and I know this too.

@AleksM Curious if you have any advice for point #2? Really struggling with that one, I feel bipolar now, like I'm about to just lock myself in a room for a month and just mediate it's that bad. I guess it's just part of the process... My monkey isn't happy right now.

I'm 98% sure I'm having a kundalini awakening, I can relate to all of these.

@Thorny_arms Wow that's pretty incredible.

@egoless I would say yes there is such a thing of over using any psychedelics. Know what you can handle. You might have such a profound mindfuck paradigm busting trip that you would want to months to integrate the experience. When the mind gets fucked allow it to get back on its feet before it gets fucked again.

If you haven't already, Leo put a post about the dangers of psychedelics on the insight blog, go check it out. My psychedelic use has defiantly effected my experience of smoking weed now, no doubt about. Whenever I'm stoned now it sort of reminds me of my LSD trips since I've used LSD the most in the past year. Vice versa, an individual who's had a breakthrough on 5 MEO DMT will most likely experience 5 MEO like affects if they smoke weed. Not being able to handle weed like you use to? Depends on the person really, for me personally I'm perfectly fine with it. I don't know if its possible for shrooms to cause brain damage, most certainly not if you know your using it in a responsible manner. What other effects should be expected? Well, if your using psychedelics for enlightenment work, you'll start trudging through unknown territory at some point and there's no telling what you'll find out there, just be aware.

Experiencing more moments of peace is a good sign. Hang in there and keep on going, as far as I can tell you're doing fairly well actually.

@cetus56 Maybe some day. I'm not sure what god wants out of me yet.

This insight is huge, people who haven't experienced it for real have no clue of the significance! Happy for you.

@egolessYeah just do either mediation or inquiry like you normally would. Weed can be great for either, but if your a recreational user then you'll lose the spiritual power from it. I'd recommend to space it out, like only smoke once every two weeks or ideally once a month. If you can do that then your practices could go deep whenever you do smoke.

@Voyager Yeah I'm not sure if I even want to let my identity go. The unknown... Is very scary through the eyes of the ego haha. Acquired taste? Sounds about right.

I've had a similar experience, mine happened after smoking some weed though. My ego really thought it was about to die but I'd had never felt my heart pound so hard before and it freaked me out. Yeah man waking up is no laughing matter, I had an Awakening last April and its been a hell of a ride since.

@5driedgrams The only thing that comes to mind is yoga, something I want to start as well because I have blocked up energy too, alot of it is in my arms and legs.

I just sit cross legged with a straight back when I mediate. You can mediate sitting in a chair as well, would be easier for strong determination sittings. I've always preferred sitting cross legged, from my experience it seems better. Always mediate with your back straight, that's the most important part in my opinion.

Awesome! Now the magic can begin.

You don't exist... This is meaningless... We're in a dream... Peace is beyond your personality... Hahaha. Reminds me of myself whenever I tried to explain all this to non spiritual seekers which is why I don't even try anymore, people just won't understand haha.

That's usually how it works, it hits when you don't expect it at all. It's a good sign to, there is most likely more to come for you, these moments will most likely keep occuring until you permanently embody this state of being. You'll be able to see the beauty in everything, reality will start feeling magical again. Your starting to wake up.

I would say having a curiosity is even more important than the actual self inquiry practice itself. If you truly are curious, then everything else is secondary. I don't know if you can force it though, you just have to naturally want to know. Taking a psychedelic could maybe spark an interest. I think what your doing right now is just feeding your ego if your only in this for benefits. Just sit down and self inquire for the sake of just doing it, don't have some destination in mind.

I mediate for at least 30 minutes a day, but I usually try to do an hour. I'll do self inquiry occasionally, but I don't find it necessary to do it everyday. In a way I'm always sort of self inquiring as I go about my day. The labeling technique is also one of my favorites, I like to use it whenever my mind wants to wander, or I simply keep awareness on the breathe to stay grounded. Leo also has a good video about techniques:

@Max_V Mediation becomes awesome at this point, when you can just watch your sensations knowing they are not yours. I think this is when true healing can begin. Your ego is going to hate this because it's starting to become exposed, so just be ready. Want to trade places? My situation is flipped, seems like I'll never get out of hell..Lol. but I know that's not true, I'm just having to be real patient here.

I know what you mean when you say nothing feels satisfying anymore. You find yourself deep enough in this work and you get the "what did I get myself into feeling". These all are just stories of your mind, they can feel very scary and real. At this point trust is important, you just have to trust the process. I've always had this intuitive feeling that everything will be good in the long run, and I trust in that, it makes me feel comfortable.

I remember the first time I experienced this during a mediation session. It happened just like you described, I felt this very intense fear come up out of nowhere, and I didn't know why. Oh man... Buckle up my friend ... And keep moving forward. This was a turning point for me the first time it happened, shit started getting crazy after that.

Damn I wish I had the chance to mediate in locations like that, I've just been doing it in my room. I'm going to Colorado in the next month or so and I'm planning to mediate out in the mountains, possibly with some Lsd hehe

I do this to myself way to much, realizing I can't keep living like this. I've been working on this the past couple months but like you said it's not easy. I'm just glad I'm catching this now at the age of 21, I just want to live in peace.