nightrider1435

@TJ Reeves Wow, thank you for this! @Dizzy After reading TJ's post there it seems I'm experiencing this as well.

@Elton I have a dependency to weed as well, I have been smoking every day for the last couple years and it is a huge energy drainer! It can be helpful IMO, but it depends on your intentions and your usage. If you smoke everyday then it will be no help to you. You have to let your tolerance reset all the way back to zero if you really want to use it for spiritual reasons.

@Dizzy The next time you smoke weed try out some mirror gazing mediation.

That's for you to find out on your own.

I would say continue your practices, try to be mindful of what triggers these hallucinations without attaching anything to them.

@Key Elements Possibly? That image has come across my mind, and after that experience I thought yep... that picture makes more sense now. And yes everything was swirling around the center. One of the most beautiful experiences I've ever seen.

@Dan Arnautu Funny thing is I just passed it off as whatever, but a couple days later I was like wait... What the fuck happened there??

Me too, and you bring up a good point here. It's all illusory and meaningless, but it was like that before the journey, nothing is different really. We can still live and enjoy life. @electroBeam Maybe just appreciate what you already have and build from there, don't take life to seriously. There is no rush, just live at your own pace.I am working on this myself as well.

I saw something like this while mediating after smoking a bowl of weed.

I can agree with that. You really just need to respect this shit IMO. I'd be concerned that I would mess myself up if I went to fast.

@Durka_Durka Your intuition is on point, allow it to guide you. I've been there and done that now, you can't disown it. Let it all out and love it. If you really want to dive in, take some mushrooms or acid, and just sit there and be with yourself. You might be in for a surprise. Just keep your head up and carry on.

@How to be wise You already are life. The ego will try to complicate this, literally just be life, that's it.

@Paintballer This is exactly what I needed to hear.

Yep. I don't know... Butterflies and rainbows... Yes... Coming around to that. On the verge of just giving up here.

Hey man i feel you. My ego is similar, and from what it looks like here it might start to get painful the deeper you go, this is how it has been for me. Keep on mediating, ride this shit out. Yep your on point here, your going to have to do exactly that! Let it all surface and just be aware, try not to drown in it. Nothing is good or bad here, it all just is. keep pushing, it will get better. Don't try to solve any of this, just sit there and be with it, welcome it. Who is the victim here?? I would drop that right now. When the mind hits you with things like this just be aware of it, don't give it meaning.

I think it comes down to that anyone can have long lasting effects from taking psychedelics, but how driven are you to keep them around once your back to normal? Setting an intention seems to be really important as well, what do you want out of the experience.?... but at the same time you can't know what you'll get until you take the plunge. Some experiences I've had with mushrooms,acid, and mdma, all within the past three months seem to have lasting effects. Before diving in the psychedelic world I had almost a full year of mediation under my belt, I was averaging 30 to 60 minutes most days. @Azrael Psychedelics have been a game changer for me, I am in on investigating this further. I'll write out more trip reports in the future. This has been my approach so far, but I'm curious to try out this mircodosing technique. Seems like a good way to be able to transfer all this into everyday life more easily.

I'm pretty sure I reached this turning point about five weeks ago. I got home from work and mediated for an hour. After I was done I went and picked up some food and as I was driving back to my apartment pretty much what you described right there occurred. This hits home with me as well. I can recognize the source but my ego is still there and it has been hell sometimes. What you said about the invisible suit makes sense as well. I'm back in the fucked up mode like you said but my sense of self is rooted in the source. Seems like I'm in the process of weakening the suit now. This post has helped out alot, thanks for sharing!

Very eye opening experience, I can relate to this as well. Don't beat yourself up, remember that you are loved!

I've tripped twice so far, once on mushrooms and once on acid. Mushrooms are pretty wild, you may want to start with acid because it's more smooth. Start small and work your way up. Don't underestimate these substances, even with light doses. The thing I've noticed from my personal experiences from psychedelics is they can give you exactly what you want, so be careful what you wish for. Once you see this stuff for your own there is no going back, it cannot be forgotten, at least for me.

@phoenix666 I feel you, I'm the same way. Confused and terrified, it's ok though. Use this forum to your advantage, we all want to help each other out here.

Your words always hit home with me. Confused as fuck here but I'm learning more everyday.

I came to this conclusion while rolling. It's literally that simple... but at the same time pretty damn difficult. It was easy to see how much I avoid just being during my peak. It's actually quite funny, when in that state of pure love, happiness, bliss, my ego was constantly on the move to be doing something. Whether it be gritting my teeth, resisting through my body, repeating the same tasks over and over again like opening and closing my laptop, fridge, pantry, running around in circles basically. Why is that I asked? Because we're not content with just straight being yet... haha. So I'm like a fucking bowling ball tumbling through this big hallway of mirrors still trying to seek stuff out. Why though? Anything we try to seek out is already right here right fucking now! I think I am done seeking but only time will tell. It's pretty damn easy to become unconscious of this again, but I'm pretty sure I saw the fork in the road. We are just being, and that is all!

@Shin This monkey mind can't stand stillness! But now I have a better sense of direction when I mediate. @Paintballer The end of ego before resistance? Hmmmm... I would think it would be the other way around but I'm open to that.

@John Flores Damn that all makes so much sense to me. The universe is starting to clear up, and the beauty of it took me by surprise. Totally feel off the edge of my seat. Microdosing is something I've been wanting to try for a while now. I just want to test that out on a weekend first before I try microdosing before work on a weekday haha.

The inside is completely different now, but the outside is still the old reality. It hasn't caught up yet, but I have to be OK with it. Things will change and I don't know how, but I have to be patient with myself. My old ego tricks do not work like they use to anymore. I can't run from myself, its impossible now. It seems like I'm climbing up the stairway to heaven, whenever I fall back down a couple stairs I get right back up. I'm hiking through the rain forest of my mind with a machete, occasionally I get tangled up in the branches but not for long. There is no one in the driver seat anymore, and there is no looking back, it just can't be allowed at this point. Everything is just so goddamn vivid and beautiful. There is a dam holding back love but it's slowly starting to trickle through, seems like it could fully come down at any time now. I've been sucked back in some old destructive ways but deep down I know I will never stop the hero's journey. I'm on it for the rest of my life, and its just really getting started. This is just where I've been at lately, wanted to share.