Spiral

That is very true and really irritating, that's probably the biggest issue with personal-development I have found so far. Luckily sometimes you find someone who are not like that and you'll "click" almost immediately, but it's sad how rarely that happens.

Exactly

To grow, you must first suffer.

@Nichols Harvey@egoeimai Neither of you are sexist, can't you just skip the name calling and leave it be.

@egoeimai Number 1. I did not mean all girls are like that, just like this Cuzzo did not. Number 2. Just because I say that a lot girls of aren't confident, does not mean I don't think men are. Having that mentality of yours is not going to do you any good.

@Cuzzo I wish girls/women would more confident and happy with themselves. Most of the qualities you mention is due to a lack of confidence. Where do young women gain their confidence from? Looks,Guys(/girls),Employment, Social circle? I mean the once who are not into help-development. Actually both men and women have horrible self-esteem these day

@Shane597 When they become independent, not only financial, but also socially and emotionally. Regardless don't call a women under 35 a women.

I've always been a bit uncertain about tantra. In my experience guys I know who practice it always do so mess with their sex to a extent that I find unhealthy, in other words they would on a regular basis have uninterrupted sex for 3-5 hours and cause injury to them self and their partner. They often become obsessed with it, it seems targeted for spiritual people and they seem able they do it in moderation but a lot of people can't. Would really like to "see" people focus more on the non-mechanical aspect.

@Joseph Maynor Not really, most people are either kind or write to distract themselves, although I guess there are worse way to pass time. You get those karma points.

Title kind of explains the topic. What are the most important factors for you guys? I do of course have some of my own, but generally having them all is a bit unrealistic. To be completely honest I feel like I do not want 95% of all girls i meet, and usually i'll have to compromise with the remaining 5%. I mean most of them are good looking(Swedish girls), so I could have sex with them, But that's not what i'm about. Maybe it's just Swedish girls and i'm unlucky, because i do like Ukrainians, Germans and Austrians better(the few i've meet). Thanks in advance

@Emerald Ahh I see what this is, we are having problems of semantics. I do really appropriate your advise and I feel obligated to recommend you the book: Dear Lover by David Deida. If you like this dualist kind of thinking in terms of masculine and feminine, I have not read it myself but i've read the one for men and that's quite the book. You can see how shin seem to be very promotional of the male one and he seems to have changed at lot recently, I would think it has something to do with that book. I thought you meant the more spiritual meaning of intuition, the divine knowledge somehow received from within. To for instance become Interconnected with the cat, to become the cat and feel what it feels like to be petted and to think whatever cats think about. Or the classic video by Leo where he for instance mentions in relation to confusion.

Well women do find status attractive just like a guy found a compassionate girl attractive both are innocent, without any manipulative/exploitive intent.Wish you the best resolving your insecurities.

That is the problem exactly, when I was a macho guy with low standards in regards to personality, this was not really a problem for me. I would think oh she is kind and honest, that's good enough. But after getting more inclined with other people suffering and especially their way of dealing with it. I would just feel bad for them and perhaps make friends with them, but not be interested in anything romantic or sexuell. Have you seen Leo's red flags? he is picker then I am. Although I do not consider intuition a feminine attribute,I consider it independent of both logic and emotion. @Arion Thanks, this is exactly the type of response I was looking for But what if you would met one by mistake, would you say no? @Toby It's not like I go around on the street judging people I don't know, I would at least go for a date first before I decide whether I want to be in a relationship with her, I really worded this topic horribly it seems. I view "girlfriend material" as someone I personally with be interested in dating, is that degrading and objectifying? I don't consider it to be, just like a won't feel offended being called "boyfriend material".

@Mrkvn8 Good question The point is to be happy without doing anything, pleasure is to be avoided in a sense.

@Emerald While I do agree that 50% is a bit ridiculous, the source you cited is really old."1991-1996 General Social Surveys"and "In the 1981 National Survey of Women". I can imagine that people being less faithful these days(no source to back that up thought )

I kind have the opposite problem I am way too trusting and confident in my self. I mean most American married women cheat. http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=124040

@RituUsing open body language it will you more relaxed, could it be social anxiety?

@Morrtiz You have a point but, being desperate is not the same as being insecure. Edit: Desperation is born from suffering, where as jealousy is comes from a feeling of not being enough and therefor think others will cheat on you. They can coexist, but does not have to, In case that is not obvious.

@SFRLI do think she'd be upset either way,perhaps less thought. Every guy is not so uninterested in female company as you are, that's just a personal preferens you have. @Pinocchio NTO-Dingu Fair enough.

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu While I agree about the non manipulation, how would he do that practically in this case. His options are: Break up. Meet the friend anyway in secret. (exploiting her trust) Be honest about meeting the friend despite not having permission. (exploiting her low self worth) Not meeting the friend.

Self-development vs spirituality ROUND TWO! No but seriously being manipulative is not the answer, you'd be happier alone then.

Sorry if I sound condescending and privileged here but, Is not better to get to know the person better first to make sure you don't get these types of issues. If you missed something talk about and if he/she does not change, find someone else before you get too invested. Changing people rarely works.

While I don't mind being politically incorrect, I did not mean that as an insult, you obviously suffer for it and so I feel bad for you. I'm not familiar with type of issue, so I wish you the best of luck in resolving the it. The following video might help.

@CuteCornDog Sounds like a lack of sympathy and understanding to me. Why does it matter if you understand what they mean anyway?

@Anirban657 Do you mean more social as in sending pm's or responding to/creating topics? Either way remember that you are anonymous, people generally don't care enough to judge you, because they don't need to invest in you. I don't want to say that people are careless, but there are way to many people on forums to invest in them all.