Spiral

Do try to go on dates with a girl who just broke up, rebound relationships normally don't work out. If all you want is sex, don't date the girl, or you'll get the fuckboy reputation. Also a girl who want's a relationship she will delay the sex, to "keep you around". Best you'll get in this situation is rebound sex. Although kudos for being cocky.

I think the most optimal time is shorty before finishing high school or you local equivalent. No need to get too deep too early but like the basic, get your habits, social skill and so in order. Does it hurt to so earlier no, but you get the most out of it you have some life experience.

@BobbyLowell For me the biggest positive changes in life, come when the people in my life changes completely. In other words you're kind of locked into a certain way until then, so learn new stuff and figure stuff out but you can't really embody it yet, because there is to much resistance, this is one of the reasons people say that you start to discover yourself in college(or at least after high school). As per confidence you'll discover that achieving things big or small, will make you more confident. This could be as simple as staring new habits one at the time. As you get those down, you start to feel like you are worthy and able to get the good stuff in life. Start small, so that you know you can do it. The thinks you can achieve in 6 months is rather amazing. In high school, at least I was very limited in term of finding new people to hang out with, perhaps a new hobby or sport could do the trick?

"What was, will be. What will be, was" "The Worm who loves us. It will always love us, and thus it always has." You can really find this stuff everywhere I'll leave you with this one: umop S! dn (hint: you're reading it the wrong way)

It's very common don't worry about it, stuff is happening.

@Shakazulu To which degree a man is careless of how much of a man he is. Now don't get me wrong most men care and that's is only normal, even I ponder it.

Slowly try to reduse one of them at the time, I would start with porn, then fap, then sex. Once you reach 3 weeks move on to the next one. Example: stop watching porn, like this limit your self to once every 3 days and do that for 18 days. Then do once every 6 days for 18 then 9 days for 18 days then stop completely.

Backstory There is this girl, that I grown a liking for. She has recently started doing personal development, which is great. But I found that whenever there is a problem in her life she resort to weed or want to cuddle and be intimate with me: to feel better. Now I'm all for cuddles but I'm also all for growth and overcoming problems long term. On one hand I get it, she is feeling down and wants to feel better so she seeks out something that will. But on the other hand this is not how you solve problems, doing this only delays them and you don't learn anything if you just run from your problems. For me the best approach has always been to suffer though it and have faith it will get better, often this will require action of some kind. Now talking about the problem with someone that understands and cares can be very useful, but that's not really wants she is after here. Now I can't do anything about her smoking, I wouldn't even tell how I feel about sense we are only friends after all, the cuddles I can but wouldn't that just be cruel? Don't get me wrong this does not happens often, maybe once every 3 months. So what would you do in this situation?

@AilinKyung It's all about your age, when you are 40+ you'll probably really enjoy family reunions. Either way it's not like you have them every month anyway I presume, so maybe it's bearable. Although I do agree with you, all those questions and boring topics are giving me IBS.

@Girzo Look i'm not saying it's impossible to spend to time together, I've had a couple girlfriends in the past and a have a few female friends right now. I mean a problem long term, it's fine the first few months, because you are getting to know each other, but you can't barely spend 10 hours talking about for instance "studying at school" or "finding a job" it feel even less relevant if you studying different things or already have a job. I mean do you really care about what specifically she did at work today? Imagine you spend 9 hours a week together and how fast you'll exhaust topics like that. And yes that kind of girl is great, but really rare

It's not really my biggest challenge per say, but i don't think my biggest challenge is the kind of rabbit hole you want to delve into. Also this is probably applicable to a lot of people The challenge: Finding common ground, outside carnal pleasures. I'll elaborate more, let's imagine a guy who is completely new in the dating scene, a guy who's only hobbies are video games that wants to find a girlfriend. He will struggle because he probably does not have anything in common with girls, sure there are some gamer-girls but let's say that he does not have any around him. What should he do in this case, if his life is all about video games what can he talk about or do together to even get to the dating stage, or even worse on the date. He can learns pickup and use "practical tricks" to get the girl anyway, but that doesn't really solve the problem, because he still don't have anything in common and so it's unlikely to last. For me personally, most of my female relationships be it friendly or not, at some point boils down to carnal pleasures and if so it generally only last until we get bored or we find someone else. So to wrap up, this is a problem for both genders, regardless of how good you are with the opposite gender.

@Emre Well she is just doing something she enjoys and It's a solo activity right. Now I can imagine this would feel disrespectful and inappropriate for a girlfriend to do. Although it's kind of somewhat unfair to ask her not to because not directly cheating on you, I would look at like this she likes to twerk regardless of if there are other guys around. But it's bothering you so what should you do? In this kind of situation you need to work on yourself to attain the confidence and none-neediness to be don't care to this type of stuff. I for one would not consider it cheating nor disrespectful per say because like I said, it's a solo activity. Although I would find it distasteful regardless of whether or not she was taken, that could just be age thing though

Can absolutely imagine that works. Another fun way to do it is to, flirt with them and let them have a good time with you as a costumer and then leave you phone number in the paying thingy. This way there is no awkwardness at all she can make up her own mind if she wants to contact you are not. In my country girls are often a bit outgoing so maybe I'm just biased. I have never done either though, it's a tricky situation.

@Emre Do you feel like she is cheating or do you think it's in poor taste?

"Deserve" People deserve whatever they get. It's not up to you to pick who deserves what. The only people who deserve to be told are the ones who are. Maybe just semantics for you, but thinking someone does or doesn't deserve something is going to backfire on you. If you think someone does not deserve something you haven't forgiven them for something they have done or is currently doing. Now you may not want to help or have someone as a friend of yours but that's a completely different thing. P.S. This guy deserve this

@Ilya Meditation and inner work. It depends on what specific need you have.

@SFRL @WaveInTheOcean I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex, I agree you should be able if you want to. For me romantic relationship is more than just sex you should hang out with each other not because you want to have sex with them, but because you like them and like to spend time with them in the ways you both enjoy. You have genuine care for the other and have hobbies and activities you both enjoy outside the bedroom and these are things that bring you together. The sex it self is just a big bonus. For me a girlfriend is first and foremost a female friend I have fun with, can relay on and can share my thoughts and hardships with. If the girl is just in it for the sex then you might as well just be exclusive fuck buddies no? Made a little triangle graph(in paint) of what i mean. All relationships can be found in this graph, friends are at the Friendships corner and so on. Now you should of course have more friends and people in your life, else you're going to have problems.

Statement: "If you can not have a relationship without sex you shouldn't have one at all" Now I just made that one up, but I do think it holds merit, does it not? I mean if a relationship is not worth it because you not having sex then you should't have it. I'm main referring to romantic relationships. Fuck buddies is a completely different topic. How do you feel about that?

Stop needing things, if you don't need anything from anyone else you won't objectify them.

If you look at it this way: There is a car, your body and consciousness Light get reflected from the car, your eye picks up the light from said car and converts into useful electric information. This information is now send to "your" consciousness and you become aware of the car. The information is also stored in short term memory, if a emotion is used then it's also hard "printed" into your long term memory. If you brain later things of the car, you become conscious of that thought. So you must be aware of the fact that you mind always serves as a lens of sorts. Also if your being bombarded with thoughts, you won't have the clarity to perceive reality as it is, you are lost in thoughts so to speak. Because there is only so much information that can be sent at any given time. So here is where high vs low consciousness comes into play.

@ZX_man Yeah and I feel you, had a girl scream at me last week because I did not want be her boyfriend This one is quite the screamer in general. I hadn't even slept with her.

@Hardkill Maybe you use lots of seduction techniques you've learn, the problem with them is that come of in a certain way you are not. When said girl discover this she will leave. Seduction techniques works by giving a dishonest view of the person who uses them and therefor are dishonest. Guy who never learned any tricks don't use them and simply behave naturally.

Thought are usefull, but you'd probably be more happy without them.

@BobbyLowell Are you friends with him?

@Girzo Sorry if I came off as angry or upset. I just find this topic as more complex than you made it out to be. For me this kind of stuff also comes of as dishonest, just like pickup tactics. If it makes any better, I also disagree with "Being your full authentic self -> Increases your social status" as this also is true to some degree,but very situational. A desperate, socially awkward person would instead benefit from gaining attachment and improve their social skills. Also they would benefit just follow the guidelines you made, rather than being their authentic self (at least directly).