Spiral

@Hardkill Go for it, although pick hobbies you actually enjoy. If your social circle is very (in lack of better word) "nerdy" then you'll surely struggle. So in other words: don't hang out in order to get girls or pick a hobby for the sake of girls. It can be a bonus especially if all the people in your social circle is doing the same. So don't just use people for it.That would come off as desperate among other things.

You have more growth and see the benefit, doesn't help I know.

You need to do something else, I still struggle. Maybe a friend you can hang out with or a new positive hobby. Something along these lines.

@Nahm Haha

I applied for a job yesterday and they called earlier today, inviting me to an interview on Friday. In the past I've worked at my fathers company, he is the CEO and another family member was responsible for personal. I can't use these references legally without informing the employer about my relationship to these people. It is also considered unserious to use family as references. I don't know what to do. I'm not close to any of my professor/lecturers. Same goes for my high school teachers. Never really spoken to them, just handed in my assignments and so on. I assume using classmates is a bad idea. Things I've done in the past: Had a internship at a café (It's obligatory in 8th grade) but this only two weeks and a long time ago. Most likely they don't remember me. I've ran an proper company as part of a high school project, selling homemade solar changers for phones and tablets. It's just a part time employment, but I would really like to have this opportunity. P.S Yes, I know I should have thought of this waaay earlier. But I didn't.

@h inandout We have had plenty of time for that. I'm her closest friends. Girl were awesome, a long time ago. Just like men was able to be.

Backstory My best friend seriously told me that, she feels like I'm only friends with her because she offers me food and occasional cuddles. While this is untrue and I take that as an insult. Now it's fine, I'm not angry at her or something but it's an unfair statement, imagine if your girlfriend just thought you liked her because she "cooked really well". Now you might just think ohh well she is just insecure and that's why she thinks that, nope. Regarding food, she has been the one to pay and to a great degree cooked the food. Yeah, sure but I've payed for her food as well and most of the time we cook together. I've even told her that she pays to much. As for cuddles sure I enjoy them and it adds to our friendship, but once again it's not why I'm friends with her. Now she wants to have a serious chat about the future of our friendship. I do get why she came to this conclusion though, but that's her misinterpreted something, which I can't prove. The story, another girl whom I don't know very well put on her snapchat story pictures of some type of food that really stood out to me. I asked her what it was and she told me, we had a little chat about it and she invited me to try it. Now I've never hung with this person before one on one, but she is kind and offered me to try. So I went to her, to try this food and hoping to have some pleasant company. I'm pretty sure she wasn't expecting anything else either. I never gave the impression I wanted anything else, nor that I was really interested in getting her to know very deeply. Now we had a fun and I would really enjoy spending more time with her again even if this excludes food. (Although she invited me to have a similar dinner again) I told my best friend this in less detail, because she asked. Then she got upset and made these types of assumptions about our friendship. Now you might say "girl are very emotional, you should know this by now" but she has not been this way before. Problem The problem is: how can I possibly prove my motivations? Now it's not the first time people have questioned my motives. So assume I there most be a problem with me, maybe they have a point or perhaps I don't make my motivations clear enough. Because why would I unless they ask? A lot of the time people don't understand me, which is fine. Surely some of you have the same problem(self-help and all that). As long as this lack of understanding doesn't create problems, I don't mind.

@NEW11 I pretty sure I had feelings because now I'm disappointed. Result: We are now friends but with less cuddles. Possibly less eating together as well. I mean I'm fine with that but I don't feel super motivated to friends with someone who just thinks I'm using them.

Update! I got the job. They did not even want my reference. It crazy how much, confidence and charisma can do.

@CuteCornDog How old are you and, would it be possible to move out? Sidenote the only way he could break the law by replying to you was if he treated you. Curious...

@NEW11 Well let's just say that she doesn't have much problem with being with a guy only once. She has also told me she has been unfaithful in the past, that just sounds like a world of hurt if I actually got feelings. I want to have her in my life, that's what my feelings tell me. It doesn't specifically how.

Well I'm not sure what I will do. If I would do, what my feelings tell me I would sleep with her.Pretty sure that's not what you meant. We'll see what we go from here. On the other hand she has also told me that I'm not her type and that she finds the idea of sleeping with me disgusting. Regardless of if she meant that, it's kind of mean and a unnecessary thing to say, it's not like I asked. Although she was also been in the mood on a few occasions so I suppose that might not really be true.

You can

@F A B Life is all a big role-playing game, by that definition in that case.

@NEW11 I mean I can date her and be faithful to her and so on. But I wouldn't say I have feelings for her anymore. I was in a relationship with another girl before, not having any feeling for her either and that didn't really work out. Not saying I will be in a relationship with her, but it's not off the table.

@NEW11 Yeah I suppose so, although I do prefer friendship. Some sex and dating can't hurt. Maybe some flowers, she loves that stuff. Although if it doesn't work out surely the friendship will suffer afterwards .

@NEW11 Yeah i'll do what you said, I pretty sure I had a very minor crush on her a few months ago. At the time despite my feelings, I did not see much potential in a long term relationship. The reason I care so much at that it's a very meaningful friendship, all my other ones are very shallow and due to a lot of people moving away within the next few weeks (to other countries) my social circle is going to "take a hit". Also this friends is into PD and so on, so she has a lot of growth potential.

@NEW11 I do think I've made myself clear to her before. We have casually talked about it that topic. @Lynnel Well it's not the first time she said it, in the past I've just not seen a very serious statement. In the past I've told that's wasn't the case. This time she actually wants to meet and talk about our friendship because of this whole thing. Most likely we will have this convo tomorrow and we'll see what happens. Currently i'm considering stopping eating and cuddling with her, and remind her of my lack of feelings. We'll see where that goes.

@Moreira Yeah, that's how you train your PC muscle. You can get way more dopamine from doing that over and over again. So don't, it would be worse then fapping. It's meant for sacred sex!

She is a adult legally if she is 18 right? I would also find it strange but if you both want to, what's the harm? If the brother is a close friend you might want to reconsider.

@NEW11 Yeah and she has shown interest before in more clear ways. Although I don't think it would be a lasting relationship and so I don't have much desire to invest in something that serious. I feel like I'm putting her in a bad spot if I say that. @ElenaO She knows I have tons of "side chicks". She came up with the term(not creator)and consider herself one. I made a stupid joke about jealousy when we discussed it. I actually very common that my female friends bring up each other even though they don't hang out yet know that I do. I just assume they like gossip and stuff. P.S I'm single so don't think there is anything unethical going on here.

Words are meningless and forgettable. The greatest joy in life comes from silence.

What if: I can't see if anyone upvoted my comment. But other people can? The stages of getting rep: Wow someone liked what I said Cool this smart person agrees with me. Got an alert, thats irritating. Not even someone who quoted me.

Day 4 is for some reason the most difficult for me if you look at it in isolation. It's like my body is telling me "wow man these are old liquids, are you expecting me to deal with this?"

She needs more friends, if she has a bunch of friends to go shopping with for instance, you won't have to. You should do something together once in a while in my option like, go for a walk, cuddle up with a movie or make a nice dinner together. If you're always hanging out the relationship gets boring.