Spiral

How to win friends and influence people. While making friendship isn't probably your goal, knowing proper social behaviour makes you likeable. Influence makes you powerful which is attractive.

@Source_Mystic Gender is not the same as sexual preference. @willen1995 None of the word you used are genders. Being a man is not a gender, being male on the other hand....

I get this sometimes, it very strange because it not like I actually want to be with anyone. I've got it right now as I'm writing this, I've seen Leo's video on it were he advocates suffering through the whole experience. I mean sure I can do that, it disappear while I sleep. So I normally just go to bed. I'm not the most fun to be around anyways when I'm like this. So I actually avoid creating last minute plans. Regardless of how I deal with it comes back after a few days. It's normally trigger by me seeing other people doing something fun. I can't really say that I've had any fun for a long time, over a year. In the past I would really enjoy going out partying, now I get really depressed by alcohol and find the idea of partying kind of depressing. Not that think that I'm better than that, it's just I don't have that fun at them and when then everyone else gets buzy and I'm all alone, wondering aimlessly. I do have conversation regularly with friends but I don't consider them fun it's just me doing something to pass the time. Or because someone is in need of assistance. Well the best solution is obviously to get rid of all loneliness for good, but I can't just isolate myself for a month. I have work to do that involves other people among other things.

@Arctica If you are happy with the person you are with, stay with them. Trying to "upgrade" will not work out at all. I mean what if you after spending 3 years with that new guy, you find yet another "better" guy. On the other hand if your are on the edge of cheating, that's not good either. Also note the even if you find someone else, doesn't mean it's gonna work out. The old guy won't take you back. The older you get the more difficult it will get to find someone you want as well. Now yes I get, it's a very common issue, I was with a girl who have had a boyfriend for 12 years she, is 26. She is kinda a mess now, cheating regularly and so on. Not my proudest moment if I put it that way. It not to late to improve the sex you already have you know. You can both learn and practice some tantra and do some crazy stuff. Also other ways to bring more excitement to your life.

Well let's do some math, let's say the city has 500.000 inhabitants. Half of those are male.(250.000 left) Say one forth is in the right age group for you. That leaves you with 62.500 girls. Now let's say you also want attractive girls, with somewhat high standards, say 1/6? Now you have more then 10.000 girls to approach. Excluding tourists, I would say that's plenty and hardly a problem. I mean if you want to get good at game having the girl actually be attractive is not essential.

@BobbyLowell Find out why you feel that way and fix it, by changing how you view that specific trait etc.

There is chronic depression and so on, that's a great ride, not a hopeless existence at all. Wouldn't say that makes you neurotic though, it's "just" mindless suffering.

@Andre Quinonez There are other things than enlightenment you can experience when you experience complete ego death. Less fun things. Just look at christianity they have some unique wisdom to offer when it comes to (ego)death.

I've never seen a successful open relationship, although I rarely see successful "closed" relationship with today's youth. I can imagine it's better then being single but I won't want it.

Well you don't really have anything to lose here right? She might hate you but at least you tried. On the other hand he might have learnt his lesson, I doubt he wants to have someone to abuse. Might happen anyways, because he is messed up.

The library? To be honest only meet one girl at the library. Ever tried a spiritual meetup at meetup.com for instance? Those can be fun, it's very often new age stuff, not really my jam but better than nothing.

@Aquarius I mean you don't have suffer because you recently have gone through a breakup, you also don't need to love the person you're in a relationship with. It just uncommon. You know what? I think dating sites etc will be the way to go for you Maybe bars/clubs?

@Aquarius I do agree with Psyche_92, waiting will probably do you better, suffer throught the breakup so to speak. Regardless, I don't complain to guys who wants girlfriends so why should I do the opposite. You'll have to get yourself out there, sitting on you ass obviously doesn't do you any good. If you go out and meet new people surely you'll find a guy you'll like, maybe a concert, maybe a stand-up show, whatever you fancy. Also nothing wrong with talking to the guy first or making the first move, it can come off as desperate, but It can also come off as confident. Guys do actually like confident girls, although in a different way. I would stay away from online apps and sites, I've found that there is a normally a reason people have to use to dating sites etc. P.S It can also just be the way you worded your question, that makes us think this way. II mean if you resenly broke up, you should stay away from guys

Not saying I agree at all with the politics of trump, not super into American politics either, so far my favourite president has been Obama. But! I do think it's not very open minded to assume being spiritual and being liberal have to go together. Spirituality and conservatism goes together just as well. Things like avoiding porn, video games not using drugs for fun and so on is conservatism.

@Shroomdoctor Sorry man! I'm going through the life purpose right now, very slowly and for the first time, so I can't really offer any advice.

Start doing things that have nothing to do with girls, achieve things, create positive habits. Confidence is all about what you feel like you can achieve and if you have a history of success you'll be more confident.

@billiesimon Well I'm going to agree that's more complicated then I made it out to be. I normally don't ask for advice from girls either, when it comes to attraction. But I've in the past gotten very useful tips, that been very successful, that's what I meant. Well feedback to be more specific.I do for instance often cuddle in a cruel way, that was very surprising to hear.

Well I won't say female advice is wrong it's just, communicated in a way guys don't really understand to a guys who won't understand it anyway. Here is a common one: Girl: "I want a guy who can make me laugh" So the guy thinks he should be funny and makes jokes, but that not it at all. I mean it doesn't hurt but that not what she really means. If I would ask her if she meant that she would say yes, because we are confusing to them. How men work is also incredibly complicated. It's a mess basely and people don't really know what attracts them, they just know what they like.

@Shir Tell him how you feel or ask him to get you someone else. @Psyche_92 "Life becomes awesome when YOU are absent. " haha, don't say that to normal people it sounds insulting.

@billiesimon I am really cuddly and affectionate and I'm the most successful person with girls I know. I thinks it's more about how and why you are cuddly etc. Lonely? If so that's bad. It's fine to be open and honest, although being a nice guy can be problematic. You need to have your own stuff going on. Don't start hugs, avoid giving random massages. If you sitting and talk with a girl and you feel like giving her a foot massage go for it. But don't just go and give a girl (you know) random pleasure. P.S you would love Sweden, it's customary to hug as a greeting here, if at least one of the two is female.

She can also just be messing with you, either way I would stay very long in the evening if I can't use a bed. No sex is fine but if I'm gonna spend the night I have want a bed to sleep in. I have a tendency to abuse power not to this extent or really intentionally but still. Like purposely making taken girls horny but not sleeping with them.

Cold showers. Take a deep breath and breath out all the air in your lungs while going in to the icey cold. While breathing out you don't feel it, although you can't breathe out forever. As someone that lives in -15C, cold showers is a great morning habit because it puts you in heat mode. You don't freeze at all if you go outside.

Oh you don't say

Maybe you should take a break say a week (preferably without seeing him)

I have many of the same problems, I'm not close at with my family. I speak to them once every 2 months, meet them a few times a year. Surely being close to your family has it's benefits but for me it feels like it's too late now. I'm completely independent and don't need them anymore. I wouldn't say you need to be close to your family especially if they're not nice towards you.