Spiral

@Shakazulu If your having dinner with your family and a guy with a chainsaw comes in and tries to kill you all, perhaps it can be useful to defend your family on a more permanent basis. It's also good to get a different perspective and having embraced the dark side makes you more resilient.

@ZZZZ I would say your choice of clothing is a representation of who you are, if you lazy for instance your choice of clothing will show that, assuming you are as you say being authentic. Now is being lazy objectively bad? no, but I prefer being efficiency. To appreciate beauty, is not being materialistic it's a way to see the world as something more than yourself. One should find a balance between emotion and rational, overdoing one is a problem.

What's thing with those hats? Great for keeping girls away it that's their desire.

@SFRL Great, good for you!

@BobbyLowell Here is one way I like to spice conversions up. Start by don't seeing conversations as exchange of information. Some are of course, but if you're trying to enjoy yourself or meet new people, emotion is the way to go. By realizing which questions are serious and which are not you can change your response based upon it, by unserious I mean if it's intended as small talk. If it's a unserious feel free to make a joke out of it, or answer ironically, that creates a playful vibe. Example: Someone asks you what you do for a living and you sense that they are simply making small talk, you can in a flirtatious and jokingly manner tell them you're a astronaut(bonus points if you tell a ridiculous story). This creates emotional tension, if you ask them back they'll probably not tell you the honest answer, and so the games begin. Being flirtatious is fun regardless if you attracted to the other person, but try to make it clear that you're not seriously flirting. Don't overdo this, it will make people unable to trust you.

@Jamesc The union between two people, traditionally a man and a women. Modern interpretations may wary. Practically you spend a lot of money to make your feminine partner happy for some time. Assuming they want to get married. There are also legal implications.

It's a great way to get a headache

@Artimus I would distance myself as much as possible from your ex and anything that reminds you of what happened in order to, move on as much as possible as quickly as possible. While not become completely numb, that's a miserable existence. Running is a great temporary solution, just run as fast as you can, exhausting yourself. It clears the mind so you can deal with your own mind when it's especially bad. I have found this to be a uphill battle, it's important not to lose hope and be ready to face it head on.

@SelfHelpGuy Don’t send unsolicited photos of any bodypart to anyone, I would do the same as your girl. It’s like sending random “funny” memes, it’s very uncharismatic. 9/10 times they don’t find it funny, if it’s a inside joke it might slide. I mean if she did not find you photo funny, she “can’t” really say anything truthfully.

@Hardkill Well let’s put it this way, they will be harder than girls you meet the first time. Now if you want to talk to them again that’s up to you. Since you are struggling, make a voice recording of yourself making a approach if you get rejected upload it. No face, nothing like that and cut out names in the recording so you can still be anonymous. We can analyse it and tell you what you did wrong. Maybe it’s a really easy thing we can help you with. Or if that makes you uncomfortable, write down the interaction and tells us word by word in text form. Recording is better because we can analyse tonality but it’s better then nothing.

@QeenB Breath and try to talk showily. Try to make every word that comes out, sound as clear as possible. This will make you focus on that rather than the situation. Without sounding like you are talking to a baby, that can be offensive. Focusing in tonality is also something worth taking into consideration. So saying: my NAme is SPirall is better then saying it in a monotone way. In other words try to make to important words have slightly more force in this case: name and sprial are the important words as it’s what you want to communicate. Also it’s ok to quite to think, for some time. Take a deep breath clear you mind and something will come to you.

Maybe he is insecure about handling money or simply can’t handle money. If he would bring money with him he would spend it all, this way that won’t happen if he relies on you. Either way don’t lend money to people it’s generally not a good idea. Try not having enough money for him once and see what happens.

@8Ball Work is tricky, If you "bother" her too much your/her boss might get annoyed. If your too forward and she or other people will think you're create a "problematic" environment it becomes messy. So if you want to get somewhere with her, it's better to do so outside work and try to be as professional as possible at work. I mean she probably already decided whether or not she likes you, girls make that decision very quickly, so asking her out is probably the way to go. I'm not a big fan of trying stuff at work or with people I "have to" meet regularly because if the relationship doesn't work it gets awkward. Not saying you should make the same choice but maybe something worth taking into consideration. If you are a bit new to the whole "getting girls thing" I would advise trying your luck with girls from other places, to get some more experience and get abundance, as that changes your perspective on things.

@Amer Breaking up works, if it’s a pattern.

Sexual trauma and addiction can change the way your body reacts to sex. For worse and better respectively. It’s as you might expect not without side effects.

Possible? Yeah, but I won't recommend it.

@Anna1 I suppose I most make up the ~10% of swedes who didn't know that.

Well I hardly consider peeing in the shower something sexual, assuming I haven’t been misinformed.

Do more stuff, such as meet new girls, no need to sleep with them or even date them just spend time with them. That’s helps because you rewire your brain. That’s how you get over her.

@Scarecrow Does it only apply to women you find attractive? Or all women?

@Girzo People who are stage orange will assume they are stage yellow. It’s extremely common, one might even say a inherent trait of stage orange. So the key is knowing if you been in stage green at some point. Because you don’t go backwards obviously.

If your stage red or higher, sprial dynamics have very little to do with your ability to make long lasting relationships. It might dictate what you think about and hence what you talk about but otherwise it’s very unimportant. You can befriend people of all kinds of stages and tiers, although you most likely prefer people in the same stage.

@Frylock Nice is not the same as kind or caring, nice is selfish and manipulative. Being nice to someone means your doing it because they want something from them. Being caring and kind is someone else. This is why neither guys or girls want a nice partner. Guys are attracted to kindness and girls want someone who challenge them emotionally, not by being mean but by being assertive.

@Frylock Well empathy might have been a poor choice of words mostly meant benevolence. Having great emotion intelligence is naturally beneficial as you can have social interactions more efficiently. As for the confidence yeah sure it varies but that’s alright. Being confident when you are around the girl is naturally what matters. You don’t need to be 100% all the time, not even with girl if it’s reasonable for you not to be. If you feel incredibly uncomfortable around a friendly girl, hardly a dangerous being(for the most part) why would she assume you’d be confident when facing something dangerous? Cats are more dangerous than girls at least physically, in my experience Looks also varies for girls on a day to day basis so I don’t see how the range of confidence is a problem. I guess having a higher mean confidence when try to get girls is useful. Sidenote I do agree with you that all this pretentious behaviour is harmful. It very common in pickup although one can look at it as, you “cheat” girls and as a result you become more confident gain more social experience and so on.

“Abundance” Could be something worth investing for beginners. Girls are very susceptible to it, it’s not as difficult as one might believe.