Spiral

@Hardkill Well let’s put it this way, they will be harder than girls you meet the first time. Now if you want to talk to them again that’s up to you. Since you are struggling, make a voice recording of yourself making a approach if you get rejected upload it. No face, nothing like that and cut out names in the recording so you can still be anonymous. We can analyse it and tell you what you did wrong. Maybe it’s a really easy thing we can help you with. Or if that makes you uncomfortable, write down the interaction and tells us word by word in text form. Recording is better because we can analyse tonality but it’s better then nothing.

@QeenB Breath and try to talk showily. Try to make every word that comes out, sound as clear as possible. This will make you focus on that rather than the situation. Without sounding like you are talking to a baby, that can be offensive. Focusing in tonality is also something worth taking into consideration. So saying: my NAme is SPirall is better then saying it in a monotone way. In other words try to make to important words have slightly more force in this case: name and sprial are the important words as it’s what you want to communicate. Also it’s ok to quite to think, for some time. Take a deep breath clear you mind and something will come to you.

Maybe he is insecure about handling money or simply can’t handle money. If he would bring money with him he would spend it all, this way that won’t happen if he relies on you. Either way don’t lend money to people it’s generally not a good idea. Try not having enough money for him once and see what happens.

@8Ball Work is tricky, If you "bother" her too much your/her boss might get annoyed. If your too forward and she or other people will think you're create a "problematic" environment it becomes messy. So if you want to get somewhere with her, it's better to do so outside work and try to be as professional as possible at work. I mean she probably already decided whether or not she likes you, girls make that decision very quickly, so asking her out is probably the way to go. I'm not a big fan of trying stuff at work or with people I "have to" meet regularly because if the relationship doesn't work it gets awkward. Not saying you should make the same choice but maybe something worth taking into consideration. If you are a bit new to the whole "getting girls thing" I would advise trying your luck with girls from other places, to get some more experience and get abundance, as that changes your perspective on things.

@Amer Breaking up works, if it’s a pattern.

Sexual trauma and addiction can change the way your body reacts to sex. For worse and better respectively. It’s as you might expect not without side effects.

Possible? Yeah, but I won't recommend it.

@Anna1 I suppose I most make up the ~10% of swedes who didn't know that.

Well I hardly consider peeing in the shower something sexual, assuming I haven’t been misinformed.

Do more stuff, such as meet new girls, no need to sleep with them or even date them just spend time with them. That’s helps because you rewire your brain. That’s how you get over her.

@Scarecrow Does it only apply to women you find attractive? Or all women?

@Girzo People who are stage orange will assume they are stage yellow. It’s extremely common, one might even say a inherent trait of stage orange. So the key is knowing if you been in stage green at some point. Because you don’t go backwards obviously.

If your stage red or higher, sprial dynamics have very little to do with your ability to make long lasting relationships. It might dictate what you think about and hence what you talk about but otherwise it’s very unimportant. You can befriend people of all kinds of stages and tiers, although you most likely prefer people in the same stage.

@Frylock Nice is not the same as kind or caring, nice is selfish and manipulative. Being nice to someone means your doing it because they want something from them. Being caring and kind is someone else. This is why neither guys or girls want a nice partner. Guys are attracted to kindness and girls want someone who challenge them emotionally, not by being mean but by being assertive.

@Frylock Well empathy might have been a poor choice of words mostly meant benevolence. Having great emotion intelligence is naturally beneficial as you can have social interactions more efficiently. As for the confidence yeah sure it varies but that’s alright. Being confident when you are around the girl is naturally what matters. You don’t need to be 100% all the time, not even with girl if it’s reasonable for you not to be. If you feel incredibly uncomfortable around a friendly girl, hardly a dangerous being(for the most part) why would she assume you’d be confident when facing something dangerous? Cats are more dangerous than girls at least physically, in my experience Looks also varies for girls on a day to day basis so I don’t see how the range of confidence is a problem. I guess having a higher mean confidence when try to get girls is useful. Sidenote I do agree with you that all this pretentious behaviour is harmful. It very common in pickup although one can look at it as, you “cheat” girls and as a result you become more confident gain more social experience and so on.

“Abundance” Could be something worth investing for beginners. Girls are very susceptible to it, it’s not as difficult as one might believe.

Well empathy is not something that attracts girls, it's of course appreciated, but "kindness" alone gets you nowhere. Confidence on the other hand.... The same goes of for confident girls, us guys aren't attracted to that, but it doesn't hurt. (Very unconfident may be problematic but if it normal or high) Being full of oneself isn't attractive either, being humble is because it reflects confidence and high self-esteem. Bragging shows that you need confirmation and therefore don't have high confidence and high self-esteem. Being detached is the opposite of being desperate in this situation and desperation is unattractive for both genders. Girls/women see through it because it not genuine, if it is you'll have quite a lot of success.

So i've been trying to become less lonely as of late, but as a result I appear to have become colder and evil(perhaps distant would be a better translation) or so I've been told. Swedish people are the world's most individualistic, so if I hear foreigners say that I am, I simply consider it a cultural difference. Although now I being told so by even my swedish friends. I mean I can see what they are getting at, but pretending to care about people hardly feels like the right course of action. It's not like I hurt people or even offend them, but rather that I don't care much. Especially when i'm working or studying, I rather my "working partner" be quiet or talk about at least related things, a joke or two is appreciated. Sometimes he goes on about his how pretty his girlfriend is, I don't agree and mostly just feel like he wants my approve but of course i'll pretend agree with him. When i'm more social I don't tend to have this problem, but i'm well aware i'm not the most sympathetic or emotional normally. When I seek meaning in relationships I get lonely, but when I don't I become distant. Where is the balance?

No personal experience, but it seems to work out for other people.

@Barbarian Number 8 Haha that’s harsh Asia is indeed the way to go.

@F A B Haha ok it means you are male and like perfume that was made to smell nice to your gender.

If you live in a cold country I would also advice you avoid drinking milk, you have enough “slime” as it is in your throat.

Leo has a video about it, I suppose that could be one tool.

Maybe 50%, online dating is definitely my weak spot when it’s comes to attracting girls. Never used tinder so I base that on how many girls seemed interested. Although never wanted to go on a second date with a girl I found online.

You don’t need a girlfriend or any friends at all. How is he puching people into relationships?