Spiral

I think it’s completely rational for poly-people to want to convert the rest of us. They want more people to pick from and so they are trying to make more available.

While I never really considered myself a PUA, I merely watched theory and tried my luck online. It was my way into PD, this seems to be a common occurrence. Pick up has a lot of redeeming qualities that don’t involve sex or relationships. Especially if you, like me were a introverted gamer completely devoid of social skills. Social skills of course, but also among other things learning to enjoy the company of others and being away from the comfort of a screen. Learning to and start to appreciate taking care of yourself, physically and healthwise. If you have success you start to have faith in the growth process and try to improve your life in completely different areas. Not to mention confidence. But things come to an end, and so should the pickup life style. One should move on to bigger better things. A lot of people get trapped and this is where you find the problems with pick up culture.

I can imagine it's advice they received as children: "treat others nicely to be liked" combined with desperation in the form you described.

@billiesimon Do you know what is the cause for the nice guy syndrome? (Actual question, I really don’t know). I just find it fascinating.

@Paulus Amadeus What do you mean in this case? What advice do we give, that we lack results in? Well some people arguably merely share their options.

@Applejuice Why do you want a girlfriend? The answer will partly dictate the way you should approach the matter.

@SaltyMeatballs it’s normal, you’ll probably change your mind at some point. Better to find yourself and so on before you look for someone else.

Almost everyone judges everyone else. It’s very human to do so.

Don’t forget to wear a seatbelt if you not used to the car. Regardless how confident you are in your driving abilities.

I didn’t have a great time either to be honest, although I would probably have regretted it if I did not go, because I would thought it would have been fun. If you don’t wanna hang out with your classmates I wouldn’t go and either way I wouldn’t go if I couldn’t dress up. How about borrowing something?

@Peter12 Not sure how it works in your country but if you want to part take in the ceremony you’ll probably have to suit up. If you don’t care then don’t go.

@thehero Abundance isn't about sleeping around it's about being able to and having options. Having options isn't being unfaithful. You don't need to work to get abundance once you already have it. It's kind of a spiral effect.

He most definitely doesn’t have feelings for her. If he had he’d want a open relationship rather than f+. Besides being rejected because someone wants more is kind of a compliment.

@AmalieRuby Perhaps you could tell him that if/when he no longer want the “free man life” he can contact you. In the mean time you could move on and try to find someone else. If you are taken and he now want’s you, too bad he’ll have to find someone else.

If you are really bad with girls I suppose I could indeed be worth it. But if your almost at the point where you could then no it’s not worth it. By really bad I mean you can barely talk to girls you are attracted to. Lycka till hursomhelst!

Looks juicy!

@Shakazulu If your having dinner with your family and a guy with a chainsaw comes in and tries to kill you all, perhaps it can be useful to defend your family on a more permanent basis. It's also good to get a different perspective and having embraced the dark side makes you more resilient.

@ZZZZ I would say your choice of clothing is a representation of who you are, if you lazy for instance your choice of clothing will show that, assuming you are as you say being authentic. Now is being lazy objectively bad? no, but I prefer being efficiency. To appreciate beauty, is not being materialistic it's a way to see the world as something more than yourself. One should find a balance between emotion and rational, overdoing one is a problem.

What's thing with those hats? Great for keeping girls away it that's their desire.

@SFRL Great, good for you!

@BobbyLowell Here is one way I like to spice conversions up. Start by don't seeing conversations as exchange of information. Some are of course, but if you're trying to enjoy yourself or meet new people, emotion is the way to go. By realizing which questions are serious and which are not you can change your response based upon it, by unserious I mean if it's intended as small talk. If it's a unserious feel free to make a joke out of it, or answer ironically, that creates a playful vibe. Example: Someone asks you what you do for a living and you sense that they are simply making small talk, you can in a flirtatious and jokingly manner tell them you're a astronaut(bonus points if you tell a ridiculous story). This creates emotional tension, if you ask them back they'll probably not tell you the honest answer, and so the games begin. Being flirtatious is fun regardless if you attracted to the other person, but try to make it clear that you're not seriously flirting. Don't overdo this, it will make people unable to trust you.

@Jamesc The union between two people, traditionally a man and a women. Modern interpretations may wary. Practically you spend a lot of money to make your feminine partner happy for some time. Assuming they want to get married. There are also legal implications.

It's a great way to get a headache

@Artimus I would distance myself as much as possible from your ex and anything that reminds you of what happened in order to, move on as much as possible as quickly as possible. While not become completely numb, that's a miserable existence. Running is a great temporary solution, just run as fast as you can, exhausting yourself. It clears the mind so you can deal with your own mind when it's especially bad. I have found this to be a uphill battle, it's important not to lose hope and be ready to face it head on.

@SelfHelpGuy Don’t send unsolicited photos of any bodypart to anyone, I would do the same as your girl. It’s like sending random “funny” memes, it’s very uncharismatic. 9/10 times they don’t find it funny, if it’s a inside joke it might slide. I mean if she did not find you photo funny, she “can’t” really say anything truthfully.