philosogi

@Joyous LOL don't put words in my mouth

@Ross Why is this a worry? Edit: maybe better to ask yourself this question and make it a subject of deep inquiry.

I hear you and struggle with similar issues, except for me at one point, the miserable ego would follow me into my alone-time and ruin that too. It got so bad I finally went to a relational therapist.

@jes Like other commenters, I also think it's subjective to what your body wants/needs, which is going to have to be something you're experimenting with and getting sensitive to. When I feel my food addiction getting out of control, doing some intermittent fasting (IF) helps, and I find I usually end up eating too much the night before too, which makes me not hungry for breakfast (the addiction says I "deserve" to eat because it's breakfast-time but my bloated feeling says I'm not feeling good.). So in my case, the healthiest breakfast was no breakfast for a while. I think it's sometimes better to say what to avoid than what to have. Big things to avoid (in order of priority) are sugar, processed foods, and too many carbs, and excess meat. Best things are a balanced small meal of fruits and vegetables (fibre and nutrients), protein, fat (fat is not evil; just bad fats and too much), and some complex carbs if you can handle them without getting addicted. Also avoid any foods that are addictive for you. (I have a bunch: bread, butter, banana+peanut butter combo, milk+granola combo, tomato+cheese+bread combo... haha and the list goes on...). FWIW I'm not sure if I trust blended fruit drinks. They seem similar to juices in that they can give a sugar rush, which would make them more addictive than chewed food.

Ugh yes!! I'm finding it really difficult to talk about most things besides self-actualization. Just have little interest in everything else that seems so much less important. Have you worked on finding what your current life purpose could be? A truly enlightened person's ego wouldn't get hurt by anything, and it wouldn't get gleeful from anything. I think some questions to clue a person as to whether the ego is talking are: "Am I comparing myself to others subconsciously? Do I want to be better than them? Do I think I'm lesser than them?" "Did I say that to reinforce/create/manipulate my identity?" "Did I say that to prove myself?" "Was that a 'humble brag'?" "Am I doing this to look better/be cooler to others?" "Am I playing the victim?" etc...

Wash, rinse, and repeat, every time you notice yourself caring about someone else's opinion. I think it also helps a lot to visualize what it would be like in one of those interactions, what it would feel like to not be caring about any other opinions. Like, take some time, say half an hour, to just sit and visualize how you'd want the situation to feel. Then it'll help you when you encounter it for real.

They're going to be different depending on the person. If it was me, I'd think about something that is bothering me or had recently bothered me, and ask myself why I did it, and keep following the "why" thread asking successive questions so that everything is broken down into elemental pieces. So for example: Thing that is bothering me: I felt angry after spending time with a friend (sometimes I even have trouble identifying this) "How do I feel?" "Angry" "What does that feel like?" "...Like I have a ball of fire in my stomach" "Why do I feel angry?" "I don't know." "Am I sure? Did I feel angry 3 hours ago?" "No. I guess it was after seeing the friend." "What happened?" [insert recall of the time spent; probably identify a part of the conversation that my emotions reacted to] "So it was when the friend took out the phone and started texting while I was telling a story?" "Guess so" "Why did that make me feel angry?" "Dunno. Normal people would feel angry about that!" "Maybe, but I'm talking about me here, not other people. So why did that make me feel angry?" "The friend should respect me more!" "I deserve respect? Doesn't the teaching I've been doing say that I don't *deserve* anything?" "I guess not" "Am I sure I felt angry? Is there another feeling under the anger?" [insert resistance here] "I guess I felt hurt." [insert a while of just sitting with the new *hurt* feeling and feeling what it feels like] "Awww. It's ok. I still love me... Do I still feel angry?" "No, I feel more at peace now." So, I guess in this example, I uncovered the underlying belief that I believe that I should be respected, discovered that my feeling "hurt" was masquerading as "anger," and that I was comparing myself to other people as a point of validation. I also learned that my mind wouldn't easily give the most honest answers. So one innocuous interaction when examined gave me so much information about myself in this example.

This is because of the ways my ego was implicitly taught in childhood AKA usual stuff. So I'm trying to stop taking responsibility for other people's feelings, which stems from a learned fear of repercussions. I think this will mean disregarding - to some extent - other people's feelings in order to enact my own truth, but at the same time not acting selfishly, and not letting this be a license for my ego to externalize my problems. Also, I tend to panic in confrontational situations and default to the people-pleasing role because my ego acts faster and is much louder than me, like a dog that overpowers its human and drags the human so it can go over and bark at another dog. So I want to remember to give myself time in these situations to get in touch with how I want to respond vs letting the ego drag me. To solidify these ideas in my mind, I've created myself some hand-drawn quotes/phrases. I think one is more click-baity; the other is more zen. What do y'all think of the logic? What do you think of the quotes?

Yeah! I think this is why people are afraid of death. They're subconsciously afraid it's a limbo where they have to experience time passing but have no real power or control or substance. Wait, isn't that the illusion world we live in?

I think it's non-definable on human terms. So it's easier to say what it isn't, than what it is. I disagree that scientifically speaking it's chemicals in our brain; I think that's the infatuation period. I also don't think it's linked to things that people do for us. This is human "love," which isn't real/true love. But maybe, in the consciousness that we participate in as illusory individuals, one part of the consciousness connecting with another part of that consciousness could be love. It could last for an instant of human time, or it could last forever. Or maybe, true love is achieved when we can love everything and everyone unconditionally - aka love reality. Is that similar to what you're saying?

Let go Wake up

Guys I don't think @electroBeam was being literal? I think he's just fed up and wants to act assertive. Assertive != asshole. But also, if a person has never been an asshole (even by accident) in their life, maybe they have to experience being it at least once before they can truly understand what grey is.

@Tancrede Pouyat There's a phenomenon in biology that I don't fully understand, that's called "mirror neurons." As I understand it, when you hear/imagine/see another being undergoing a psychosomatic (psychological and physical) event, these mirror neurons mimic to some degree what you imagine they are feeling. That could be why you sometimes feel terrible even when you're applying various techniques? I feel like there's more to this though, based on your post. I'm not sure what you're resisting: feeling too much or feeling too little.

@electroBeam Who put him in charge??? Speak your truth and be ready to accept whatever the consequences are. Chances are everyone else will be thankful someone is being the voice of reason.

Only if you can't do it as readily alone. But it's a skill that can be practiced. You could try going a week or a month with the same discipline as you would with your friends. Does your higher self want to do this? Is there resistance? Why? It's not "cheating," (that implies that there's one way or system of searching for truth) it's just not as effective. Make sure it's not your ego speaking, thinking that there's some extra merit you get from - self praise or others - if you do it alone.

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Ever since I saw the batman slap meme I can't get it out of my head either! I relate to batman here as I always hear people saying things that need to be interrupted. Clearly the author of the original comic has a window into truth.

@Kenya But attachment isn't love.

@Tariq Depends on the friends! Also, you can bring consciousness to the friendships, and steer them in the direction you want. If you don't want to just rely on them to help you do things, don't rely on having them help you with things. If you don't see it healthy to raise expectations for them, don't. I wonder where that leaves you with the friendships? Friendship is a funny thing. I think a lot of people have friends to decorate themselves "look I have like 800 friends on facebook and I go out every weekend and have lots of .... etc, and look at all my photos to prove it" and other people have friends to alleviate their own emptiness/loneliness. What does that leave for friendship? I think that if you have a genuine care to hear what the other has been thinking/doing, it's reciprocal, and doesn't revolve around a soft addiction, then it's a pure friendship. It's a very rare connection!

@xXguitarsenXx Friendly warning: Don't fall into the trap of thinking there are shortcuts and don't be impatient. Look up some biographies of people who have gained enlightenment; read their life stories. It's fascinating and illuminating. Ask yourself the question you just asked Leo ("can't psychedelics be like a catalyst?"). See what your deepest highest self thinks about it. You probably can't answer it right away. You might need to ponder this question for days or weeks or months. Do you need someone else to tell you their answer? Cause it's not going to be the same.

@Joyous Weed can be a useful tool, as long as it's not a habit/distraction. Romantic partners can be beautiful, as long as they're not a habit/distraction. You were having a beautiful time until you either judged yourself and/or worried that some other person might judge you if they could see you. That judgment is the key. Catch your ego doing it next time and accept that your ego has fears, but that you will take care of everything for the ego so it needn't worry. You're not going crazy. If you feel like you're following your truth for the sake of it, have at it. It's most other people who are blind for not seeing the beauty of reality! They're not ready to accept or even search for reality because they think they already understand it. No need to judge them; just don't let their hypothetical judgments distract you from your own truth.

@Huz As you suggested writing it down, I find it very useful to write things down. Give your ego some acceptance so it can tell you the things which are threatening to it, so it doesn't have as much motivation to obfuscate the truth. Sometimes the answer to your inquiry is not obvious. Keep trying! You could start with a question that is not too painful first to practice, and then move onto the deeper questions. Or, if you get bored with easy questions, start with a really difficult puzzle to keep interested. If your mind gives a superficial answer, don't let it go. Ask the next logical question that follows the thread.

It depends what your overarching goals are. If your overarching goal is to seek enlightenment, then money can be a tool to sustain you throughout that journey ,or you can choose to live a more money-free life. I know and have met a lot of people who live on very minimal money. It's just not conventionally "comfortable." If your goal is to keep working on personal development alongside your main career, then money is still a tool to sustain you throughout that journey. You are only reliant on money as long as you are reliant on a lifestyle.

It's not helpful to humanity for people to continue talking about heteronormative extremes as if they're the most important and most relevant going forward. People keep trying to classify men and women into two black and white categories, which suggests that they forget that physical gender exists on a spectrum. So does sexuality. So does emotional gender, call it masculinity and femininity. Nor do people inhabit one extreme of an emotional gender identity for 100% of the time. So to self-ossify into one of these categories is limiting. Theory: The genders are going to evolve towards more and more androgyny, both physically and emotionally, and who knows where this could lead? But why limit ourselves to certain roles? Why can't we listen to our higher consciousness (not the ego) instead of resorting to habitual roles inherited by culture? I think we can! F*ck formula.

@Muhammad because it takes away the opportunity for the other individual to experience this facet of "being"

@Mitch Couldn't resist sharing this: