philosogi

I agree that there are no accidents and everything has a purpose, in the sense that the state of "is"-ness is a direct result of the last state of "is"-ness, and so on. A giant complex system of relationships between energies. But it is usually a trap when an ego (i.e., an individual) uses this for its own purposes. What I mean by take away agency is, you're most powerful when you know you are the most powerful. Power in the sense of knowing you are in harmony with the state of "is"-ness. If you're in harmony, the universe will seem to work with you. But what's really happening is that you're working with the universe. It's a paradox of assuming the least amount of control and having the most amount of power. This is very easily misunderstood/misused and there are many ego traps here. A good guiding principle is: if you're using an idea or concept to justify an action (or an inaction), you're probably not in harmony with "is"-ness. Listening and being hyper-aware of the energies around you can help with feeling your way to what the universe (or intelligent universal system) "wants" to do. Action is not always the answer. On the subject of the complex bind you're in with your family, you have my sympathies. It's a tough spot to be in. I can see how that would be very frustrating and painful. I think the best way to support your daughter is to start dealing with your relationship with her husband as well as with her in a healthy way. I don't mean any specific method by this. I think you'll have to explore to find the best way of going about it.

@John Flores I mean, what has your direct experience taught you specifically about enlightenment?

@John Flores I'm more interested in what you've learned by direct experience

@John Flores I think your labeling and categorizing is not so useful if it is limiting, and I'm finding it limiting.

I don't think that "losing" your ego is a helpful goal. (Also, why is there a problem? Is there a problem right now?) The key at this point is to be free of the ego (and therefore in harmony) but not rid of it. Ego is part of what it is to live in this body, because ego is what allows this body to survive and thrive. Try to focus more on the process than the end goal. Look for a deeper answer than just "my ego wants it." Why? when did it start? How did you learn that?

You can do it!! Most people have some sort of addiction (shopping, eating, caffeine, drinking, complaining, etc.....). You're on your way to overcoming it because you're aware of it. It's not easy; don't expect it to be easy. It doesn't seem like you've really committed though. Remember, the only person you're accountable to is yourself. You're only bargaining with yourself. Some ideas are coming to me: I find one way to avoid binge-watching shows is to just not starting to watch a series in the first place. Another way is to become poor so that you are forced to use your wits to live. Choose to live a basic lifestyle without luxuries such as a gaming computer. Give your gaming computer to a less fortunate person (like a kid really interested in coding but who can't practice due to lack of equipment). Use a basic computer that can run the programs you need for school but is really laggy (sorry) for video games.

@The Universe Why do you want success? Why do you want spirituality? The answers to those questions could help.. my two cents.

@Loreena Is that your belief?

Substitute "human" with "ego," and then realize that ego can be transcended. There is a difference between "love" and "need," what you're describing looks more like "need" than "love."

@egoeimai Lucifer wants attention

I'd be surprised if there was anyone enlightened on this forum

@LRyan Also make sure you're not substituting ideas gotten from outside for your own truth. What evidence do you have that this is all being run by an intelligent system? What is this intelligent system? Does the intelligent system take away your agency?

@LRyan You will get another chance to live up to your own standards. You've probably heard this a million times but everyone makes mistakes. Are you a god yet? All you can do in a practical situation such as you have described if you want to stop it happening, is to put everything on the line and communicate your whole truth to the people involved. It works best if you can be un-judgmental when you do this communication. That is to say, be prepared to accept any outcome, reaction, or response. It doesn't guarantee the outcome you hope for. But if you're judgmental, negative, or angry when you communicate your truth (that is to say, if it's tainted by ego), then it has a lower chance of working. Your communication must convey the basic truth that you want what is best for her, and you have to leave your ego out of it. If you say you're on a Self-Actualization path, then you are. Doesn't matter how many mistakes you make; if you say you're on it, you're on it.

Depends on the person! I moved away and it helped me grow more as a person. My siblings stayed and I can see how they are more able than me to deal with the situation at home. Go with your gut. Are your wings clipped? Let yourself fly.

@Yonkon 1. Telling myself that capitalist materialist world is not interested in the same thing that I am so I needn't pay attention to it. 2. Getting in my body (good posture, stretching, physical activity) 3. Meditation 4. Spending time outside 5. Spending time with people I love. 6. Spending a lifetime up until now being shackled to others' imagined expectations, and realizing that I don't need to jail myself that way.

1. Do something interesting. 2. Commit to yourself to not giving into distractions. 3. Let go. 4. Like orgasm, don't expect it to happen every time and you'll have a better time.

@Stoica Doru Related to this, I found that being able to grieve the childhood I didn't feel I had was very important.

Don't *try.* That's the ego. But be open to the change at the same time. Hold the paradox. Don't think too much about it. If you find your mind going back and forth stuck between the possibilities of how to forgive, just observe it.

Don't forget. Your own truth speaks louder than any external information, if you're listening.

@SOUL Women are oppressed in society, so they already start from lower on the spectrum of empowerment. Therefore, they show the greatest initial improvement. The same way as getting from 70% to 80% is easier than getting from 90% to 95%.

@Nahm depends who you ask

I think my right brain doesn't agree with my left brain to some extent. When I smile, the right side of the face smiles but the left side doesn't smile as readily. And science says our right half of the body is largely controlled by the left brain and vice versa. Anyone else experience this/have insight about this?

@jse Hahaha (i don't care from an aesthetic point of view; but from what this reveals about consciousness )

What do you take away from this?

@Dingus Why do you need help?