Merry Mount

Thanks for the recommendation. I am reading it now.

This is what I have I learned about jealousy: It is not about whether he cheats or not. Jealousy is the insecurity we feel when our relationship is not an honest and loving one. Jealousy is all about how we feel about ourselves. Jealousy is silent cries for love, and understanding. Jealousy can be found within all of us, to some degree, and the emotions of jealousy are the same. The degree may differ. The catalyst for the emotions may also be different. You may be jealous of a co-worker’s or sibling's success. It may be that you felt envy. It still has the same detrimental effect on your mind and body. Go back in memory to a time you were jealous of a playmate or sibling. Take your memory as far back as possible to an incident in your childhood when you were jealous. Bring it to the front of your mind and feel the past-remembered emotions. Dig deep into them. Put yourself mentally back to that time. Ask yourself the question: “What was I afraid of?". The answer will sound something like: I'm afraid I am not pretty enough, smart enough, lovable enough, nice enough or worthy enough to be with this person. As adults we have very few new emotions. The death of a loved one is one of the few exceptions. Divorce and death often elicit the same emotion because it is a loss. Jealousy can be just as painful because it sets the groundwork for future insecurities. Our brains were wired to react to jealousy at a young age. You have the opportunity now to re-wire your mind by neutralizing the emotions that are the result of our childhood perceptions. These jealousies are remembered emotions. 80% of these emotions based on these emotions were created before the age of three. We learned these reactions, beliefs, fears and self-judgments while going through the terrible twos. Put that into perspective when you try to figure out your emotions. lol To fully understand our emotions, let's first understand what our emotions are: Emotions as defined in early Greek are: to emote ions (to give-off electrical charges, both positive and negative) If this is a fact, then emotions are electrically charged. The logical way to calm the negative electrical charges is neutralize them by providing positive stimulation. f this is a fact, then emotions are electrically charged. The logical way to calm the negative electrical charges is neutralize them by providing positive stimulation. Go back to your childhood memory. Does that particular person still bring up bouts of jealousy? When we are jealous we tend to exaggerate their qualities and limit our own. Did your jealousy cause you to succeed because you "wanted to show her"? Or do the insecurities that were placed in your brain continue to haunt you and give you an excuse for failure? Do your childhood emotions keep you from success because you're afraid to try? What happened to the person you were jealous of? Does he or she have a perfect life? Is he or she still thought of as pretty, smart, lovable and worthy? Is his or her life today perfect? If not, then you should be able to see where her perception of self fell short of reality. If the person of whom you were jealous is still in a position that you find enviable, then allow yourself to see the traits and opportunities that led him or her to success or beauty. Why was her best trait acquired to begin with? What “not good enough” was her driving force? Is it the same as yours? Well, it sure could be. We create our realities by our perceptions. Once we change our perceptions, we change our realities and then we change our lives.

In order for you to be successful in your quest, your success lies understanding who you are, first. Statistics has show that we create 80% of everything we believe about ourselves and others by the time we are 3 years old. Your relationship "rules" were established prior to your third birthday. Each "mistake" we make is the perception of a past-remembered-emotion of a child. There are three things I would like you to think about, in order to start your journey into self-discovery. Take yourself back to the home you grew up in. Sights, sounds, smells, family and emotions. What were the three things your child felt were most missing? When you find those three things; Imagine you are in a room with everyone you have ever known in your life. They are all talking about you. What would make you most proud to hear them say about you? Compare the two lists. "Whatever we perceived as most missing in our earliest childhood creates our greatest values". If it were not for the perception of missing, we would not value who we are today. Get busy learning about yourself. Only then will you be the type of guy that those kind of women want. (self-assured, with no baggage)