KoryKat

@Hello1 damn I feel this too , ENFP problems aye?? Here is what got me going in a spiral upwards last year before winter depression... Was living in my van , got a gym membership (after watching Superhuman World of the Iceman) and I would wake up, go do Wim Hof 1-3 rounds in the gym, alternating with HRV-Coherence 4-7-8 breathing (until positive flow-state) , and I did a light workout 0-30 minutes , and finished with cold shower (gradually increasing time of cold). Rinse repeat daily I swear the Wim Hof breathing and cold showers are DOPE, and it seems to me a Gym Membership is the best place to start (so you can get around people, i always talked to the workers A LOT, basically like using them as therapists lol) I have regressed now, but starting to turn it around again, i think what I am doing is 'Letting Go' of my present identity, and reimagining who I want to be, as my new present identity... And of course , leveraging any kind of intimate human experience I can get. (Unfortunately my parents/family are all DRY AS FUCK, so they have only told me to go get help and cant realize they could be the help if they knew how to just fucking be real and connect empathetically/genuinely)

Lower consciousness , regular level, superconscious levels. Most people are lower or regular (80-90%?) When u get homeless and no money and nutrition-deprived / poor sleeping / drugs / excessive heat exposure / etc... It just shuts down your brain to where its only FIGHT TO SURVIVE AT ALL COSTS The most primitive level , is body sensation. The second level, is emotions. The third level, is thinking (And you can really nuance these down into limiting-beliefs or older paradigms such as Fixed Mindset vs Growth Mindset... Or developing Critical-Thinking as a thinker, then you could add on higher levels of Conscious Awareness even) But what I am getting at SURVIVAL > THRIVING at the core fundamental level of existence , in heirarchy of needs (see Maslow or Spiral Dynamics or another levels of consciousness/energy map) So if I am nothing but minimum , reproduction and self-preservation are the only things that matter. Everybody has the capacity to go beyond minimum... But maybe 40% of the population is simply minimum development on this consciousness stuff. So i get over it and accept it, because reality is what it is, and everything else is just mental illusions, so a dog is simply gonna eat its own shit because its a dog... Humans are animals. We *really* overassess ourselves as somehow post-animal, but if you follow the anatomy of the brain, it is that "we are not thinking creatures that feel, but feeling creatures that think" and *your gift* is to be at a higher level of this consciousness awareness, (which only means you walked a different path than those who did not, everyone else will be better at other things than you, so we are more-or-less the same shit) I have been getting a new handle on it , by not trying to help everybody, because simply put, "they aint ready" , and Im just focused on finding others that are at near-adjacent levels of development to collaborate with, and just extend compassion to all as a general principle I follow, because in the end , we are all one human family It was a lotttt of work to 'let go' of trying to help everybody, like family, and just let them be, and just find the people who I am gonna resonate with, and understand the world is truly dark and full of monsters... And really, aren't we all monsters to some degree? (Of course I would say there are *real* monsters like Putin that should have their life ended for the greater good, but a lot of his followers are simply disillusioned and born into a world where they have never had the liberty/opportunity that we have been so blessed with by having exposure to ppl like Leo *and also* being right time in our lives when we could receive it. Hope that helps

Hi all, Kory here Situation: I am sitting in my van 24/7 for months. Doordash enough to scrape by. Play Wild Rift on my phone until I can't. Watch an informative video that doesn't relate to bettering myself. (Such as Ukraine conflict or James Webb telescope, future trends emerging). I save all the videos that I could learn to be better from on Watch Later. For lack-of-better explanation: It is like an invisible wall to the side of myself that seeks to be self-empowered. (Seems to me like multiple sub-personalities, and I actively dismiss going into the "Be All I Can Be" sub-personality.) And I don't work on learning skills, working out, meditating , mindfulness, reading, setting goals and working towards them... etc. I have deluded myself into productive procrastination most of life, and taking hardly any action... a dance of balancing myself between monstrous addiction to gaming, with a narcissistic way of believing in this Chosen One syndrome... that by learning all the answers to life, I was somehow going to escape my life of growing up. (Peter-Pan syndrome of an egotistical righteous maniac or something) This invisible wall thing seems to be what is the problem. I feel compelled to keep it a secret at all costs. I can not call somebody and admit it... even now finding words, it is like my subconscious is fighting against me. My whole life it seems, has been the inner-war. Everytime I find a way to break the cycle, the inevitable slip becomes an opportunity to bury it deep and never let it return. Shortly about my past: I grew up in a stable household with my father who neglected me for playing games. I never had enough attention, so I became astoundingly bright (ENFP 7w8 personality). Dropped out of college for raving and learning to pick-up women. Always wanted to write the book "Everything I wish I knew when I graduated school" ... but through my 20s, I went from super popular to being a ghost as Psychology led me to Philosophy and Spirituality where I became lost... annoying everybody to no-end ranting about Spiral Dynamics and Awakening... and its like , it broke me. I lost every person in my life because I refused to change what I was was gonna talk about... more and more, it was realizing I was vastly different from most others, a black sheep. I embraced being far-out at the cost of any social life. So in summary, I didn't grow up. That light of innocence as a child in awe of the world was a radiant star that finally timbered into a flame that died out up until now , I just feel paralyzed by this unwillingness to ... idk? self-accept? self-love? self-something? I can't make friends anymore. It is not that I don't have the ability, it is that it is a war within myself... and people almost never 'see' me, and I can't deal with the imposter that isn't magnificent... It comes across a manic-narcissist and everyone rejects it... I know I have a big ego, I know it is manic-narcissist - but if that is all people are going to see, then to "Hell with them!". And ALL THIS GOING AROUND AND AROUND.... I still am not doing anything to make my life into the way I want it. I'm in this psychosis of war in my mind or something about being rejected for being awesome... while it is all like avoiding simple facts and reality... I don't do shit. I don't have goals or work on my life. I am a homeless bum using people's money to afford myself being useless to society. I do not have motivation. I block out my desires for my dreams. I've let it ruin me to having no social WHATSOEVER. I am blocked from imagining myself going and getting into social life (like finding friends with similar interests)... What happens is , I avoid being so frustrated at life that I go ballistic that I have to talk myself into reaching out for help, and I actively avoid following-up on this stuff, because for whatever reason I am like in avoidance to not being an insane person. Also: this is all intertwined with Cluster B Personality disorders (varying degrees from moderate to extreme throughout my life) The troubling part is I'm wanting to kill myself instead of having a wonderful life, because of something I am trying to avoid some aspect of Self or something, and making things worse for myself seems to be my core drive. I do not know. "have you tried Therapy" yes I hated it. I associate "getting help" with pain or something... ANYWAYS /RANT I love that Leo resonates with me to most of out gurus/mentors I've found, but WHY DO I TRY TO AVOID IT. I know I would love the community here, but I want nothing to do with people in some sort of fear-response. It drives me, thank you for all being here in this community, and without it , I would probably lack any inspiration at all. Warm wishes -Kory edit: tl:dr - It is a driving urge *not* to fix myself. Now I've lost most everything I cared about.

@Matt23 no i believe I am insane and dont want to be "cured" of it. (I would like to be functioning, but I embrace the crazy through and through.) My belief is that this world has no place for me. I must of been 'born ahead of my time' or something it seems like, or I am an alien from Mars . I am extremely strange to both, conventional and unconventional people... @BipolarGrowth @Loba okay so ill try working on journaling and doing a checklist for a few daily routines + a bit more ... (Drinking water , take a walk outside, meditate) It is extremely hard because the more I resist giving up and wanting to turn things around, the harder it becomes to do it... I can never seem to meditate especially, its like my Achille's Heel... The more i fight to get myself to meditate, the more my shadow resents it altogether and less I am able to do at all... And it just keeps getting worse and worse ... Its like I have made it into some sort of PTSD like fear of relapsing into trying-to-be-all-I-can mode. Its like I really have a heart longing for going all into self-improvement, but over the years I have grown to rebuke it to where it is an inpenetrable wall now. Like in a fantasy movie where a person has grown exhausted of dreaming and it is all reluctance to answer the calling anymore.

Just do it. I overthink. I will get hung up on a phrase for hours like arguing against it from all angles while I am floating around in my space. Hopefully being productive, mostly not. Why cant I simply do like I was back in summer last year? I just had one of those "mindfulness?? FUCK! I forgot to be doing this again!!" I was actively trying to hit my best it seemed like, getting my physical body, mind ,energy all good. Not being LAZYY, like keeping organized clean and tidy. What happened? I went back around people I knew. I felt like a king that could take on the best, I showed up at a new job and was like overkilling it... And the echoes of conversations and phrases in mind started sponging up small-town laziness, and it was a morphological unwinding of good habits into old habits, started skipping gym day and 3 months later im suicidal quitting my job on my birthday, because I had 150% at least expected of me by my job, and I was like "nahhh not on my birthday" If i had kept going up instead of going back down, that day could of been my opportunity to prove to myself "I am 150%+" or something, but no... I regressed "Just do it..." The cycle has been driving me crazy. I explore every option. Over and over and over it churns. The mind keeps looking everywhere, and nothing happens. Why do I not restart my morning ritual? Why do I not have habits I am building? Its like extreme Peter-Pan never growing up and maintaining a job. Constantly like 10-20-30 ideas, I try to aim for 1-2 things and the brain storms on. I sing and dance through the rhythm of chaos. I cant think about one thing and just like do it. I keep running away from myself. I keep forgetting goals. I keep moving and thinking, and I can't sit still and get things done... It is so annnoyyyyinggg!!! Much love fam -Kory

I am careful to not position it against them personally... Like i might discuss how i feel about something that people generally do that bothers me (they see themselves in the context) It helps to get them to say what they want, and show them that they want the answer you provide... What ive noticed buttering me up like magic, is somebody describing my problem accurately, like I get that feeling of being understood , and then it doesnt matrer what advice they suggest, because they see me truly, and im open to listening when i feel they get me Can ask them if they are open to feedback straight up.... And then hesitate like "nahhh everybody hates criticism" and they might be say they can handle it, THEN GENTLY test the waters... 98% of ppl cant handle criticism, and half of them will lie that they can... Dont take the gloves off and actually give people harsh brutal honesty , unless they specifically request it (like me) Also , you cant go wrong with the Rapport-Building technique , repeating accurate understanding to their satisfaction... People get juiced up hearing somebody "get them"

EDIT: You have issues with not doing things. Basically, it is Negative Consciousness , you can do 4-7-8 breathing w/ gratitude and attitude of effortlessness to switch to Positive. You can get practice facing this shadow/demon/lower directly consciousness by cold shower / Wim Hof breathing. (Try to manage meditation/flow state while taking a cold shower!) Pomodoro timer is good. Harsh punishment as accountability is great (pay $20 if u dont). Have a list of reasons WHY that motivate you... (Imagine you had to pay $1,000,000 if u failed... Imagine all your dreams coming true and how you would feel to see it as reality if you succeeded) you can use self-hypnosis and like Tony Robbins sudden burst of physical energy (go fucking nuts cheering for yourself , get emotional state to 10/10) Work on process-oriented goals (doing 1 minute versus just doing it) and tune-in to your Flow State (parasympathetic with gratitude/effortless mindset) Keep doing the smallest achieveable step you can. Wanna start the gym? Put your shoes on! FUCK YES! WOOHOO! Now rinse repeat, going 1 step further... 1 rep? SUCCESS!! Get used to the habit in reflections and CONSISTENCY IS KEY. GET MOMENTUM! Self-Talk - Brian Tracy's goal setting video, use it for self-talk like "I am getting up to do 1 minute of work now!" (Avoid trying to persuade yourself, just stick to your motivations (different motivations for your lower and higher consciousness) I like to tap into my identity at the cosmic-level (level 3 i call it, not the same thing as the higher energy-vibration of consciousness) , there is some deeper shit on it... Like self-realizing that you are the eternal energy of the cosmos from the Big Bang as an infinite creator aka "God" (however u like) and everything is merely your mind as a VR-headset simulating the reality you want to see SORRY, INFORMATION OVERLOAD AHEADh Who are you? What is reality? Let's start with Wilber' AQAL framework for a Reality Overview "All Quadrants , All Lines ,Levels, States T,ypes 4 Quadrants of Reality Reality seems to come back to the Points-of-View, 1st , 2nd , 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th (consciousness can become Aware of its own awareness) and go to higher levels of perspective in the mind States of Consciousness - (im rusty on Wilber's version Gross/Subtle/Casual , but I will highlight Nondual and Dualism , Dualism is Yin and Yang, Nondualism is Oneness ... (like people take psychedelics to feel this Oneness state) Levels/Stages - (Vertical Personality Development) I like Terri OFallons StagesInternational , Spiral Dynamics SDi is the most popular, Maslow Heirarchy is is the original, and David Hawkins is one of the my favorites Levels of Consciousness Lines of Development ( like how well you can detect flavors , or notice aesthetics) Types - (Horizontal Personality Development) aka Big 5, MBTI, Enneagram, etc... (MBTI is flawed pseudoscience, but worth checking out) You see, consciousness can be separated like Lower / Neutral / Higher , which seems to be directly caused by Sympathetic or Parasympathetic Nervous System dominance... which is controlled via breath 4-7-8 (lifehack to change negative to positive) Consciousness operates Bottom-Up , not Top-Down... so 'being'>feeling > thinking . (see Consciousness ) Triune Brain Theory Start with "Why" Cultivate your Self-Talk to be a Self-Relationship. I play both the "devil" and "angel" and its give-and-take , there have been times it was toxic, and now there are boundaries like I will punish that "devil" side with cold showers and breathing exercises if it personally attacks... (learn to love the company as time with yourself, not "being alone") There are like 3 levels of identity (ego-based, then ?? , then cosmic-based... , reconfiguring your Identity to be a Level 3 Identity is a BIGGG upgrade KEY POINTS - DEPROGRAMMING - CAN NOT BE UNDERSTATED (Beliefs are not real, just the effects) (Emotions are strategies to outcome) (Thoughts are deceptive) Letting Go (a powerful technique for many problems) - CRITICAL-THINKING (my strategy Radical Openmindedness + Healthy Skepticism) - The delusional trap? Watch out: Skepticism is a dangerous tool when Self-Bias is unchecked (like objective verification) -The great misunderstanding is that Science is totally objective truth, except it is self-biased to its own objective perspective as the only truth... which is a flawed assumption. Science is just now admitting this in 2022 "Rethinking the Definition of Reality" Everyone is actually simulating reality as Consciousness, and mistaking their perception and interpretation for the real thing. "People dont' believe what they see, they see what they believe" Audit Yourself! (Creating notes then seeing patterns as you reflect across a number of instances is OP! ) David Hawkins Map of Consciousness Explained (there is a Part 2 on her channel) Personally, this is what has blown my mind recently: 7 Hermetic Principles of the Kyballion Also I'm impressed by Joseph Rodriguez - he has been covering Napolean Hill (super popular), Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard... this Power of the Subconscious Mind is a great one I thought Meditation is a huge deal (coming back to this later) How to Learn and Teach (leaked pdf) How to Speak MUST WATCH documentary Superhuman World of the Iceman (WIM HOF!!)) Avoid the channels Spirit Science, and Gaia imo, they both seem like bullshit. Leo's videos God-Realization Explanation, and the one regarding Neediness and Lonliness were some that helped me (Actualized Clips!) also his videos on Meta (content vs structure) and (superpower) Metacognition , Metaperspective, MetaAwareness, etc Escaping Ordinary channel is good Tom Bilyeu channel is good (Impact Clips) Optimize.me and app (comprehensive crash courses for lots of topics) things I didn't cover Habits Mindsets (Abundance vs Scarcity) (Fixed vs Open) Principles (Leose's list of Principles is a great piece) Integral Life Practice handout (Wilber) Paradigms (cant solve a problem at same level it was created aka change your paradigm!) Eckhart Tolle Chakras (i know little but think they seem solid) Yoga (as underrated as Philosophy itself probably, but Im a noob here also) Enlightenment Biohacking Science of Optimal Mind - Dan Brown (Science of Awakening) "just be yourself" as flawed advice. Left brain - focuses on the reality as individual bits of info Right brain - holistic osmosis (see TedTalk Stroke of Insight) Pomodoro (concentration timer, take 5-15 minute breaks to "zone out" aka Diffusion mode) Process-orientation > perfection-orientation (take 1 step, meditate for 1 minute, focus on process mastery) Character Virtues Values (systems of values being linked to our stage of perspective on Spiral Dynamics , which is a major reason people disagree = different value systems) Worldviews (the epitome of Paradigm-tech, Leo says they are like Master Keys) Chinese? Worldview - Flow States! (See Flow and Psychology of Optimal Happiness) Buddhist worldview? , Attachment = suffering? Find your "thing" - Ikigai venne diagram. Consumerism vs Creationism Im having fun wriing this, but will have to come back later! Much Love - Kory

I need help with this actually.... I was looking at freelancing, there is a podcast/video by Anik Singal (LURN) called Make First $1000 with Microgigs... Would like to start getting passive investments like niche websites / affiliate marketing , setting up a training business maybe with like course content Digital marketing seems solid way to go once you get into the grind of things .

I just found out, this is the norm for us younger... Because our lives have been nothing but full of uncertainty and changing times Sounds like my life, but I am 33, and I feel like I tasted success early, but then I doubted myself and went down the rabbit hole... Dude, you want to talk about habits you can seriously leverage for productivity, and they only take a few minutes a day! 1) very cold shower, control yourself to be happy+relaxed, the longer you forget about trying to get out of the cold, the better! 2) breathing techniques, I was alternating Wim Hof and 4-7-8 (while going to the gym I might add, which I hear is BY FAR the primary GO-TO for getting productive) I found this useful for focusing, I've been meaning to do it again. (and running a Pomodoro timer) Also for crypto trading - I would check out Alex Becker microtrading and Cameron Fous, my opinion is they seem top notch Also also : Accountability!! Set up a system to punish yourself... Offer to pay them $20 if you dont work (or whatever you can substitute for $20, but it has to SUCK losing it) Also also also : work on your Identity! (check out Psycho-cybernetics 101) If you want , I will hold you accountable, and you can help teach me this stuff as a way to check your learning. I hate to say "You just gotta do it" but there is a couple Procrastination videos on Optimize.me and I bet HealthyGamerGG has a good procrastination video too Honestly what really helped me back in the day, was watching people do the thing like a mimic.. so like , watch a livestream video / make friends with people doing it, and just keep being a sponge... and using your voice externally to say "I am working on this now" (present tense) so you can hear yourself, preferably around others so the pressure of embarassment pushes you

Napolean Hill says otherwise I am gonna be real with you... you better have something to offer Leo of serious value to him... He really cares about people , enough to tell somebody NO out of respect to prioritizing the kind of people who will do great things towards his ultimate aim. But I admire the courage to try anyways! Seriously , MASSIVE value to him , or finding his personal endearment for you is probably a minimum

Cool, Ive been looking for writing/journal based contemplative work I can do What about the lower levels of energy like on Hawkins scale, dont they have certain limitations they have to overcome/let go of, in order to move up? Or can you just assume the highest form of consciousness ? Also im looking for advice on these Zen Centers / Buddhist temples if you have any, id like to meet locals on the same wavelength

Hello my good people! I am relocating from TX to SoCal (between LA and San Diego) (living in van) and I am looking to get networked with locals that are like-minded about the spirituality side. Trying to avoid -religious dogma , -tourist , and -costly programs If anyone has suggestions, I'm all ears. I pretty much just decided on a whim to travel, and Ive always been down to live a monk-style life... Although, I am a radical hardcore visionary/ Transpersonal studies , and I would like to work on entrepreneurship on the side (high level of immersion but not completely) Much love all -Kory Edit:// Should this be under Self-Actualization? Mb

Also I created a internal split... Indulging in old habits. I kept quietening the voice telling me to do what I should do, now I'm suffering some subconscious permeation of despair... It's like I can feel I need to like "snap out of it" but it's become so heavy than I can't. And and also also: I've been suicidal since November and can't talk about it with anybody. It's like standard practice that everyone tries to put me in rehab like in a straight jacket or something... I just need the *affect* of love. I'm not going to kill myself, but I've been envisioning it for last 80 days or so.

Hello everybody, I especially love this community and what it stands for, who we are. On that note , who am I? Let's jump into the weird: I am a freak on a leash. A puppet to a shadow. The shadow being my ego of course. And whatever I am, I am A LOTTTTTTT of it. And it's kinda freaky. Briefly real talk: Hi , I'm Kory , I live in my van last my months around Texas. I'm 33 , madly philosophical , and I've driven everyone out of my life, and it's been a struggle to not numb my mind on League of Legends and weed while off/on following this stuff for years. I was totally in the underground cult-like dating/pick-up scene dropping out of Computer Science college degree to go alllll the wayyyyyyy down the rabbit..fkin. hole. These 2 lines from Rudyard Kipling's "If" poem (beautiful btw) really get me. "If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools" It's like the truth has become the reason I hate people. My therapist is as con-fucking-fused as everybody else. I even got a really qualfied one this time... *Sigh* It's because I use a lot of next-level consciousness language in my opinion , and stuff from Leo got me so far "say bro, what if everything is a mind game ,and everything is consciousness..." Yeahhhh no, nobody understands it. Here I am, Leo and Tom Bilyeu are my two favs , looking into finding a sense of Maslow's "Belonging" , because it's like I am this monster, an enigma, a freak of nature, and now I've tested it...this is not something a therapist or mental health professional can help me with , truly... I do not belong with the drones of society and I've exhausted every last fiber of my being trying to prove myself wrong. What now ????

My main problem now isnt that I'm homeless in my van unemployed and not looking for work... It's ultimately my lack of being able to connect like eye-contact. It's this dreadfully agonizing fear and pain of an explosion of panic when I interact with people. I've slowly whittled my life to *literally* ZERO people I talk to, Everytime I work somewhere, I peace out in 3-6 months as the people wear on me. I can't stand most people. I can't call my family and ask for help because I'm so stuck on my high horse or something. Ive had this chronic misunderstood-swan syndrome (being a swan among ducks and being excluded) it's like I've always been exceptional and when people compliment me and personally relate with me, my performance can be extremely good... But when I feel there is no hope of fitting into anywhere, I just dunno why I bother. I'm hopeless. Out of the 3 motivations Power/Achievement/Affiliation , I was driven for power to help others , but now I believe I'm so strange after countless negative experiences with people. I always wanted to be the peoples' champion, but now I am emotionally affected like unwelcomed. I really need to find community and connect with people in a way I can be like a "peoples champion", but I've gotten so bad now that I'm totally and completely alone now, rotting away in my van. The problem is the negative feeling I get interacting with people ... And that that is my strength (social) and it's become my weakness now, due to a lot of negative trauma added up. Thanks, bit confusing, but the 'social panic-fear' is where it seems sourced. -Kory

@Gesundheit2 my original curiosity was women/dating , and I have been looking to more self-related manners directly instead (getting my life straight before chasing women) But having sex with women got me high on life in a way that I was all about it... But now it's like an uphill battle trying to do this by myself, because it has been hard to go back to my past ways

@flume Radical Honesty has been on my list to read. quit therapy , they just want me to talk to them and it's really not self-actualizing directly. When you say releasing *one at a time* you mean like a single thread of thought processed in my mind, and processing emotions , just individually mindfully? What about true/ultimate self-alignment? I guess it's all separated out like Lego blocks to function as needed?

I will think it over. Thanks. The absolute domain is nice. It's one I've found quite helpful. I just know the reality is my being , form energy body, is emotional , and it gets unhealthy sickness due to isolation... Absolute domain has not been a liberating force from the sickness of isolation of our soul-expression-uniqueness

I responded hastily while being tired. Editing out.

I am looking on Twitch at Mental Health and Mindfulness tags and seeing a vacancy for the next Alan Watts-like character to become a star. There aren't Discord channels I can find with communities for the anime-weebs and normies out there. All these gamers are mentally insane and needing leadership , such as HealthyGamerGG's mental health community. If this unfolds and we all awaken, then it's not a question of 'if' it becomes mainstream, it's 'when'... And fat saggy men are streaming in bikinis in hottubs on twitch as a meme and getting famous + the number of people being suicidally insane being astronomical.. What are we doing? I say we start an army. We can make Leo our George Washington

There is a video with Kim Barta and that older guy with glasses who is on Integral Life channels called Shadow and Light of Higher Stages of Consciousness or something... I think around 30-60 mins he starts using the analogy about 'Knights of the Round Table' as the multiple perspectives and giving each their own kingship authority , not just equality, that was really powerful

Win/win?