Epsilon_The_Imperial

Leo, this is Epsilon here from the forum, and I would really appreciate it if you would comment on this post here. For a while now, I have sort of taken a break from your content and from consuming personal development information in general, just for a few weeks. One of my biggest problems with the culture of self-help and spirituality is how these fields eschew higher, theoretical understanding and knowledge in favor of practical knowledge and a direct, unmediated experience and integration of the Real, Absolute, God, or however you want to call it. The prevailing assumption is that it is impossible to develop a personal understanding of these experiences because the way that human understanding works is that it is based on thoughts. Those thoughts have to grasp onto objects, language, and mentally-constructed spaces and environments within which these different mental images can occur. Like you said, these thoughts and beliefs are grounded in assumptions, assumptions which define how the thought plays out. Furthermore, thoughts are often subject to self-serving biases and circular logic. Our thinking, even when we use the help of intuition, can never be the thing itself. It is always a synthetic reality that we create because it equips us with mental tools for interfacing with our environment. Our suffering, our emotions, our aspirations and our fears all play into how we construct our beliefs and concepts. The point is, we're not good enough for the absolute truth, we have to put ourselves aside and subject ourselves to a rigorous practice and study of even the fundamentals of fundamentals before we can proceed with any certainty or hope towards an immanent experience of non-duality. Even becoming truly mindful of your thoughts and actions takes effort, concentration, and consistency to punch through the illusions-so to speak. So what is my problem? The problem is that with the self-help spirituality culture, it doesn't realize that it is also a culture with its own assumptions. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not about to trumpet the divine truth of a "rational" universe, nor am I going to project any spiritual dogma or spiritual misgivings. What I'm concerned with is that self-help spirituality culture claims to be self-empowering, but it can also be oppressive and dismissive of the personal needs and agendas of the people who would otherwise be okay with using these techniques or tarrying with these different consciousness-based philosophies.This is the same problem with academia, where you are subject yourself to the Truth, the universals which define everything else. You don't really matter. You're biased and flawed, shut up and do the work. I myself have already defined my life purpose to be a philosopher-sage, where I can navigate both the abstract and the concrete to make both immanently tangible under the light of intuition and my own experience. When I read the phenomenology of spirit or the critique of pure reason, my intuition does a lot to make these concepts real for me, in a way where I can just see these things play out in my life or in the world around us. Even though I am aware that this really only applies to our base level of consciousness and that it is still a model which probably falls apart somewhere, this sort of rational-intuitive understanding has still benefited me enormously. It is beautiful and sweet in and of itself, even though it takes suffering and a perceptive eye to reach this level of philosophical understanding. Even though it may be dismissed by self-help culture and self-help spirituality as merely theoretical nonsense, this is still practical for me because to me, it's important that we also use our intuition to develop a big TOE with abstract concepts by making them real to us in our own experience. It may not be the Absolute Truth, but it would be myopic and oppressive on the side of mysticism to reduce all the effort found in philosophical-intuitive understanding to mere illusions, just as it would be the same for philosophers or rationalists to reduce all mystical practices to mere illusions. Regardless of whether or not something is in line with the absolute infinity of God, it doesn't invalidate the personal desires of people who would seek to develop their own big TOE which fits in line with their inclinations or proclivities. Every person is different, and it's perfectly fine if they don't do all the practices or think about their experiences in the same light as a strictly spiritual person would. That's not to say all perspectives are valid, but all perspectives should be tailored to the person while maintaining a grounding in the universals/Truth/experience/being/ existential understanding. It's never been my goal to contain Truth within a conceptual framework, but it's always been my goal to love perspectives and see the truth in them, spiritual or otherwise, to develop an intellectual ethics of love which brings me closer to the thoughts of other people so that I'm also closer to their reality. In turn, I see my own reality in a new light and become aware of what structures my assumptions, but at the same time differentiating my own and empowering myself with my own philosophy. It would be oppressive and cruel to discount the value of that as being merely delusion, because to discount the ideas of a person would also be to deny the suffering and needs of that person; all synthetic reality is based in suffering and in ego, but it comes out of suffering and ego when it comes across what Levinas calls a "trace" of the divine. Even though people aren't aware of it, there is always some connection or distortion to the Divine, however small, which helps us as well. The same goes for the ego and for the ego's needs as well. Rather than denying the ego or clinically addressing how the ego can be strengthened or loved, it shouldn't be looked down upon to truly value the ego for all of its suffering, delusions, and emotions. It doesn't seem to make logical sense, but we're also important, the individual which thinks that it persists even through Enlightenment, because the illusion can still be beautiful. We still matter.

Leo, one of the first things covered in the course is about stoking your creative, personal vision, and I have something to ask. Over the last 2 weeks, I've been mulling it over in my head that I want to become an intellectual sage as well as an Enlightened Mystic. I have a compelling vision of achieving intellectual and spiritual mastery in my life to attain both an abstract and conscious understanding of life. Far beyond just being an academic or a spiritual teacher, I feel compelled to synthesize East and West in a personal theory of everything which enhances my perspective on who we were and where we are going. I can't help but feel attracted towards philosophical, intellectual, and consciousness-raising work, as if it were what I always wanted to do. In retrospect, that always seemed to be the case. I feel a great sense of satisfaction beyond happiness, as if I am complete, as if my other desires fall away, and all that is left is the work. Whether I'm reading some "abstract" work, or letting my intuitions guide me, I always feel as though what I'm doing comes from me and nobody else. But here's the problem. I feel that what I am doing is an expression of my will, but is that fine? Does it have to be an even higher, more altruistic vision? Can our life purpose simply be doing work that means the most for us? Does it necessarily have to be altruistic in nature? Furthermore, how can I get to the point where I can start to gain the experience and the opportunities necessary to create my own career out of this?

.....Crap, I need to do more work.

Simply put, lying to yourself creates chronic suffering in the long run.

Meditation purifies your thoughts and desires. You may solve your desires through action, but new ones will always come up based on your unrealistic expectations for yourself. Meditation shows you that you can live inside your own body and not through the expectations of others.

Leo, what are some of the most prominent characteristics of stage yellow asides from holistic, systemic thinking and a latent awareness of the other stages?

@Leo Gura Could you elaborate on what you mean by school and university damaging your psyche? I can kinda understand based off of my own experiences with school, but I'm curious what you think.

it doesn't make sense for people to talk about the course unless you have actually taken it and are able to discuss it in the context of your personal growth, otherwise what i see here is a lot of projections on Massaro without actually taking the time to discuss what he's saying or trying to understand why he says the things that he says. I don't say this as a fanboy of him, but I think it's weird why people aren't giving him a chance, it's not as if he mentions a few things here and there about vibrations and suddenly he's a fake who wants to sell scams. No, if that's your logic then that just means you don't like his teachings because it conflicts with something you think that you know.

Everyone will always manipulate you in some way. You really can't avoid it. Are you going to continue to bitch about it? Endlessly? What are you talking about when you say help? Isn't that more manipulation? You're really too much . You're taking things too seriously about not being manipulated, don't you realize that you manipulate yourself? If you did, then how are you blaming other people for manipulating you? I really want to be nice here, but I know that it won't get through to you because you don't want to accept the help that others have given you, because if you wanted to, you wouldn't be asking for it when it's already abundant. In fact, I would suggest that you stop posting for a while and sort these issues out by yourself because no one can accept the present state you are in except you.

The Problem: . There are a lot of people who have done Enlightenment and Spirituality work for some time. They may have made some progress, and even a substantial amount, but this gives them an undue sense of "knowing" and "realization". Typically, when called on out this, they retreat to the fact that they're at a higher consciousness or are merely being authentic. The problem is that if this work is supposed to be a method of stripping beliefs, the way that many spiritual people go about spreading the ideas behind this work often makes them look identical to the ideologues and close-minded people that many of us rightly denounce. Guidelines: . How to notice that you have a spiritual ego? . Characteristics . Rough placement of when this occurs most fervently on the "journey" . Differences between spiritual ego and "regular" ego? . How to dissolve spiritual ego? . How to notice this in others?

The truth only hurts when it destroys illusions that preceded it, otherwise, Truth can be the most beautiful thing. The problem with people who try to shove their views into your face as if they're completely right and you're wrong is that they typically don't understand the experiences that you interpreted to come to the conclusions that you do. Your experiences don't matter, their does, and apparently it's easy to rationalize to other people why they're wrong and you're right. It's spiritual ego, but it's practically the same as "regular" ego.

I need help right now. I've been working on my college applications, and I've been thinking about what I wanted to achieve with my life. When I reflect on my career prospects, I originally wanted to become some sort of doctor as decided by my parents. However, over time, I've come to realize that I would not enjoy becoming some sort of surgeon, cardiologist, or whatever. I realized that I was on that path purely because at the time, it seemed like the best way to make a living, but I can't find it in myself to do that kind of work. Now I'm lost, and as I'm looking over a list of Universities that I have in my hands, it hit me how purposeless I really was. Simply put, I don't know what career I want to go into or what big change I want to bring to the world. When I first stumbled upon Leo's videos, I was drawn by the Enlightenment and personal-development concepts that he was bringing up. For me personally, I feel that it's something that I want to dedicate my life to. I want to become Enlightened and to explore the field of spirituality and the raising of your consciousness more. I want to develop my model and understanding of the universe and of society to unseen heights. Yet, I'm not sure how to go about making money off of those things, nor do I feel the need to spread the message to other people. I'm not a prophet, and I don't like putting my image out there. What can I do? All I wanted from my career was to make some money so I can support myself and focus on personal development/ Enlightenment.

I have watched Leo's video on the Netti Netti method as well as some of his other Enlightenment videos, and I haven't been practicing Netti-Netti yet because of this one hang-up that I'm having. How can I question the self if I already have the intellectual concept in my mind that, " Oh, well Leo and the others tell me that I'm pure awareness or nothingness detached from the identity of the ego- eternal, nondual, etc. etc." So when I'm doing it, that concept always comes up in my mind and I can't shake it. It feels like I can't genuinely question the self because whenever I start to question something such as the sense that I'm in my skull, it always goes something like this. " Am I somewhere in my skull?" " Well Leo said that I'm not because any sensation that you have is not there constantly, you are not aware of the sensation that you are the skull, so at that moment do you disappear?" " I guess not, it also seems like an illusion because it's the center of the senses, but we are not merely a collection of senses." " GAAH what's the point of going on? I already think that I'm nothing or awareness or some crap like that." I don't think that I can genuinely question myself because the conclusion is foregone. I mean, what else can I question other than my senses, my memories, and my mental processes? Or maybe I'm not questioning them deeply enough?

If only Enlightenment would give us all Supreme Superpowers over reality.

I was thinking about placing some quote here from a famous philosopher or teacher, but then I realized that it would be too pretentious. I thought that I could maybe talk about my life so far, but I think I should develop that further a bit before I can figure out how to make it more interesting. Poetry? A nice video? Hell, I just gotta start. My name is Richard, I'm from Southern California and I'm here to share my personal journey with you. I feel as though for the first time in my life, I am truly free, and I was utterly lost. For the past few months I was stressing out considerably about what I would do in the future. But it wasn't always like this, because for the vast majority of my life, I was kept under the rules of my parents. I was kept under the rules and expectations of what society has considered a good and successful person to be. I was kept under my own neurotic need to feel as though I had to hold onto something special and to have something for myself that nobody else could truly understand. A treasure of my own that was unique to my experience, which has a beauty of its own that no one else would be able to intrude on, or judge, or something that they could take from me. Coming from a Vietnamese family, my dad and mom were always big on education, my earliest memories from kindergarten were of my dad sitting back in his large armchair. I would be working on my homework assignments and he would force me to bring them up to him. When I didn't get it right, he would simply tell me sternly and forcefully to do it all over again. But to a 5 year old me, that struck the fear of God into my soul. I didn't want to fail, and I didn't want to upset my parents or get disappointed because at that age, they were my entire world. I remember waking up one early morning when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, it was 6:00 AM and it was sometime in the spring. The details elude me now, but I can only remember that I went into their room to look for them. They weren't there, and neither were they there in the kitchen or in the backyard or in the bathrooms even. The whole house was empty. They were gone, and I was alone. There was no one there to coddle me, or tell me that everything was going to be all right. For an hour or so, I legitimately thought that they had abandoned me, that I had to fend for myself. Of course they came back, but I still remember that feeling to this very day, even when everything else fades into the background and is lost to the ocean of time. I knew nothing of the beautiful world that lay outside the concrete and dead plant material that formed a strange, jagged cube around me. I lied, I do remember one detail, the light. Before I knew that they were gone, I remember that there were some beautiful rays of light that came in from the windows: radiant, resplendent, and golden. Showering the scene with a heavenly hue, a Midas touch. What I would do to apply that beauty to everything that I see. It was because of this that my parents put into my mind the notion that I should become a doctor one day, that I would spend the rest of my life healing people and helping them and all of that jazz. Yet now when I actually ask them why they wanted me to become a doctor, it was because they thought it would make good money! On top of that, it's clear from the way that they speak of it that they've bought into the romantic image of the medical profession! But now when I think of becoming a doctor, I can only think about going from hallway to hallway in a sickly clean, sterilized environment with big egos and deathly ill physicians who have no life of their own. They sacrifice their entire lives and devote all this time and energy for their work, and it becomes their life. Yet I know that when I do that, my heart would be crushed. I would be going through the motions from day to day, and I would barely have any time left for myself when all is said and done. When I think about what I want to do with my life, all that I can think about is a place of pure peace. I visualize a quaint and comfortable cabin leaning towards the rim of a glimmering lake, with snow-capped mountains present in the distance and my back to a forest of trees. I would have all the time in the world to read, meditate, and contemplate. That's what I want to do, but I don't know how I will get there or have the financial freedom to do that. If I were able to do that and gather wisdom, knowledge, learning experience, and Spiritual insight, I would be living the kind of life I want to live. I have a deep appreciation for learning, because as I do so I feel as though I am piercing through the veil of our limited perception, no matter the field. It always interests me how people can describe what they view as reality, to model it and to try and find some semblance of truth. That has driven my intellectual pursuits to where I am right now, this weird but exciting place of spirituality. I'll reveal more of myself as I go on, but right now I have to commit to a few things: . Meditate at least 20 minutes a day . Report my findings and my personal experiences here at least once a week . Install new habits as I find them. Note, this is for me, not for you. I will always be happy to accept advice and criticism, but if my journals aren't the most entertaining, than I apologize for not meeting your standards. I have to be completely honest here otherwise I would be deceiving both myself and you, and neither of us would appreciate that. With that being said, I will start.

I do not have any personal experience of Enlightenment, so take my words here with a grain of salt. From what Leo and some others here on the forum have said, that seems to work if you are determined. However, there is one catch. Enlightenment occurs very differently for everyone, and before latching onto any one particular method as the best way, keep your mind open for any other methods as you come across them in the course of your learning. That's not to say that you won't commit to Netti Netti and SDS, but that its results might not be as fast as you expect. The thing is, the spiritual teachers base their methods and judgments off of their own experience with them, so it would be good to get to understand your own ego first. If you don't, there always comes the possibility of self-deception with emotional torment that the ego creates in response to whatever method you try.

Leo never said that it was a method to be used for Enlightenment, the Meditation practices are really for developing your awareness and not trying to find the True self. That's like saying there's a contradiction between contemplation and meditation when they're used for different situations.