Lynnel

Well from some point of view it is : you're gonna pursue it thinking it's gonna make you happy. And since you can never achieve happiness this way you're lost. But once you realize there is no you to be happy and you will be in a state of eternal bliss - and whatever the mind or the body doesn't doesn't matter. You can still enjoy the things of this world. But No thing is essential or can provide your happiness - including a mind concept of ahealthy relationship or whathever else.

@Wintfa11 You do it ANYWAY, no matter how you feel ! If you really feel indiference doing it or not shouldn't be a big deal and you should be able to do it easily

@Wintfa11 It only means your mind is blocking off the fear and you rationalize it as indifference. Why would you be indifferent ? You're trying to meet her then, you're like oh no why let's not do this...it's just your mind tricking you !

@Matthew Lamot You mentionned advaita in some other topic, and also with what you've just said, what books/sources would you recommend ?

@Epiphany_Inspired Thank you for the high quality of your answer ! I believe I view attractiveness as a form of status, and people who aren't high status enough for my ego - well I don't want them as my friends x) I will probably move out of this limiting belief once I've had quite a lot of sexual experiences and really do understand what I appreciate in a women. I just didn't get to know enough of them to understand what I really like - hence I believe I can't make the difference between a partner and a friend. ALSO, having sex as friends is a great options and I hope SOMEDAY this becomes a standard ! Any additionnal advice appreciated

@Azrael Could you give some insight into how you "achieved" that state ?

10/10 One of the best books ever !

Wait. Are basically saying that personnality is innate and comes before the ego ? Is it like like the natural expression of consciousness that shines trough the form ( diamond = and diamond being of different shapes meaning that personnalities are different) , but not a series of thoughts and mental stuctures/feeling ? A video on authenticity would be really helpful.

He said many times : it's up to you, and it doesn't matter.

@Cuzzo That only means you've been faking positivity to try to geet some result - it's like the beggar on the street trying to be nice and then once you don't give him any money he starts to insult you and you're very gland you never gave him any money It's gonna be harsh and it's normal, you have to persist trough it. Also, go to therapy. Best of luck !

So true. No one is going to miss you and most likely even be glad that you're not creeping out girls anymore to be totally honest

@Emerald Wilkins I guess that would be an additional challenge

First being friends and trying to make it romantic after is a nice thing in theory but practice of millions of man has showed it doesn't work that way. Meaningful connection happens for ... strange reasons, but one of my best love stories was a girl I met on the street I'm not focusing on male inequality, because inequality happens only on a personnal level, because inequality is percieved powerlessness in another form. Would it suck ? Most likely yes. Because if you will find her attractive well you would want some sexual developpement, and if she's not attractive she isn't interesting to talk to, hence it's never a win win situation. I will actually start a whole topic on this because I find this interesting. Overall as its often said women often lack self-awareness on what actually attracts them and I tend to find this very true. (Pick-up is not robotic or insincere or creepy in any way, but most of people are indeed).

Well, as the custom goes : There is no self to love - because you are love - even if you are not love , it can be said that its one of "your" "true" "attributes" of who you are. If you want your form identity to love itself more read Teal Swan's book shadows before dawn. It's the best one I can recommend for that

I can see how this could work but also I'm unusually sceptic for this one precisly because it sounds a bit too good to be true. I read for instance that you should not skip breakfast because not having food puts your body into the saving energy mode which will stockpile fat, => counterproductive in the end.

@Ross Woah. Relax. Your ego is massively freaking out for some reason. You cannot possibly blame a source of information for your actions, do you ? While something might be recommended to you it doesn't mean you HAVE to do it. Your actions remain your actions no matter what. Unless you actually tried to rape her or really overdid it she will most likely forget about it or simply label you as a uncool guy and you'll be amongst the last 300 guys who approached her. Stating that talking to someone who is slightly intoxicated is moraly wrong is simply hilarious. Rsd are banned in saudi arabia and countries under sharia law, because girl cannot legaly have sex or flirt without marriage. On what to do : Relaxing - going on rsd forums to blame them and get maybe some constructive feedback - learn why girls I talk to find me rapey - how to stop freaking out - watch leo's video on morality Honestly this kind of advice might simply not be your piece of cake, hence if you don't find it productive for you simply ignore it and move on! Best of luck !

I have been studying the dating scene for almost 6 years now, and practicing what is called "cold approach" pickup for a year now with really great results. People in the self-help community are generally not really aware of how this whole thing works, and with the media's bad view of pickup (Black magic and so on) it can be a really confusing question. Feel free to ask any questions to get my personnal perspective. I will always explain the reasoning behind my anwser so that there is ground for debate. This is meant to be a value offering post and I hope will contribue to the actualized.org community.

@Roland You're welcome ! Hope it went well

I find this utterly hilarious because you seem to miss the man's perspective. Of course from your point of view you don't have to do anything because the guys just come and talk to you and you're free to choose whoever. You know what's gonna come with patience for a man ? Nothing. Without taking action there's gonna be no results and if you're unattractive you're gonna stay unattractive. That's it.

I've tried it once and it did not work for me. I just can't understand how it's supposed to work in the first place, seems like a really uneffective method compared to other emotional techniques.

@7thLetter Don't forget that the way your mind views people is to some extent related to the way it views itself and your form identity. It's a bit off-topic but have you also noticed that people that usually seek help and are just starting, or doing this for only 1 year or 2/not doing it seriously or whatever are generaly way more complicated to interact with than let's say normal people who don't do self-actualization ? Like if normal people have a normal degree of "fucked-upness" which makes them barely interesting the ones that actually engage in self-actualization because of their deep problems are even worse and often not frequentable at all?

@Leo Gura Thank you a lot for making the forum ! You totally deserve a dedicated community, and I really hope you get some more public exposure by having this forum and are helped by the feedback all the users provide in their discussions here. I wouldn't call this manipulation, it does look like a WIN WIN situation for me, one where everyone gets interesting data for himself.

I'd like to explore the whole unconscious side of me more, which for sure contains a lot of repressed emotions which I'd like to let go off. Does anyone have anyone idea on how to bring them to the light ? Same for the rejected, repressed or "forgotten" aspects of self ? How do we bring the light deep into the subconscious ?

I believe it's outside the self-actualization stuff and wouldn't be that usefull. That kinda would be a waste of Leo's potential.

+ 1 It's really a great and excellent idea