Lynnel

@Charlotte Too much pressure/expectations or just "casual" ego backlash because you've been doing a lot of changes in your life. If you feel shitty and there is no reason it's usually along the lines of something negative is being processed ( spiritual purification) or maybe it's just your mind revolting. I know there is resistance but someone should invent a specific name for the ego backlash emotion where you just feel shitty and loose part of your willpower. Also, it's not like a "normal" emotion where sitting with it will get it integrated. Agony maybe ? Well I guess Going slow is sometimes going fast. You've been posting arround about a LOT of issues. I know there is SO much to do but take it a step at a time otherwise you're just gonna get overhelmed too fast.

@Shin Their whole body feels very '"fresh"' and not as worn out as older girls. You don't yet see all the drugs/alcohol/partying damage. Again take this not with a grain of salt but like a whole salt mine

@Psyche_92 Dude younger girls are amazing ! (Conditions apply).

Yeah back to more relative problems. I've been great friends with two females attending my lectures for quite a long time, and I considered both of those relationships important and special. But since the beginning of this year they became actually quite closer together, way more than I'd like to, to a extent in which I feel betrayed and secondary to their relationship as I feel they prefer each other over me. So I feel very betrayed as I feel like I have lost two great friends - I do not want relationships where I directly feel secondary and not as important as I view the other person. I already talked about it to one of them and she told me that every relationship is different and there is nothing to compare but I don't feel this way. You always have to prefer someone over someone else. There is always a implicit choice. Any advice appreciated. I mean I'm fucking dying here. I feel that relationship are so complicated it's not even funny. Like sometimes I wish We could just live with robots. And I believe I have great social skills (self-deception here ?) Or at least above average experience. Lord. Why is every relationship and relating to other so freaking complicated !? ( PS: @Emerald this might be a petty issue for you but I always love hearing your advice ! )

@Joseph Maynor Yeah you're like another extreme of this neo avaita : don't do the work, nothing exists already, oh this is all an illusion so there is no ego anyway, no one is doing anything, nothing is happening, etc. It's just mental masturbation !

@Shin I mean I'm amazed at how aware I thought I was becoming and actually how little aware I am ! This is so decieving and tricky it's just mindblowing. I'll be sure to add more spiritual work in my self-development diet.

@Spiral Nah I hope to solve this differently. @Shin Can you shine a bit more light on my ego ? that actually felt great ! I laughed because that was so retarded. I got on my high horse again and ego came crawling in the back. It's still dying and still mad though. Amazing. Thanks for both of you, of course !

Guys - of fucking course do not do that if you care about your privacy. Remember you cannot delete posts by yourself !

Yeah there is so much speculation about enlightenement is gets annoying. I mean you can't escape keyboard jokeying in any community but still it remains quite sad. Like go out there and do the work - you won't feel the need to speculate so much then.

There are a lot of different death exercises such as Leo's video, one tool from the tools (imagine you are on your deathbed) and more stoic meditations on death. Usually I brush it off with beliefs such as yeah w/e the ego is gonna die anyway and who I am is eternal so no problem here death is in no way scary. Of course that's just some beliefs I take to be true and I have not checked for myself because I'm too afraid I guess ? I just reject it because it would be too painful to realize how much time I've wasted so far overall, I believe. So I'm wondering how I can visualize death properly and get myself motivated that way ?

How would you even find one ? The same for healers ? How would you distinguish serious healers from scammers ?

@Shin Nah it's totaly not. My life purpose is inspiring people to a life worth living @Max_V Yeah I know I like mentionned five times that would be very usefull to do but this is way outside of what I'm planning to do with my life ! That would never ever be my greatest gift to this world.

I am still waiting for someone who's life purpose is to do that for friendships ( based on people's awareness level/spiral dynamics level maybe ?) That would be phenomenal ! I'm calling it now someone is going to try that for sure.

@Nahm Anything you recommend to cleanse all the damage done by those over the years ? I will second the refined sugars : it's pure poison no matter how you look at it.

This book is actually pretty good. What I dislike is that there is some sort of endocrinating loop as there is a very good reason to always use the tools as explained in chapter 5. It's always annoying when any technique or school is doing propaganda for their own thing by including a endless loop inside it. Never stop doing x or y from our school, this is the only way, or huge doom will follow ! Excellent book otherwise.

@Hardkill I've thought this over quite a few times and autism/asperger seems to be on a "spiritual" level just a very low level of awareness. It feels like a lack of consciousness. I'd bet good money that psychedelics would help for those issues immensely. + Typical advice : do not shit where you eat - don't to pick up at the gym !!

Oh no, is everyone doing some book review project gonna report the same book with his video about the very same book ? And here I was so glad Frode stopped self-promoting !

Let's disregard the fact that "you" are the ego. I've recently read ego is the enemy by Ryan Holiday and I recognized myself in almost every single thing. I took a very honest look at myself and thought good lord it's a blessing I never achieved success as I would immediately crumble and my heavy dormant ego would go rampant. I seriously took a look at all the shit storm going on inside. It is...mindblowing. There is so freaking much anger, manipulation, strategic manipulation, so many many lies to get this, to do that, to achieve this, so many white lies, so many weird ass sophisticated strategies, so many fantasies of me being amazing, so much arrogance, so much of me being above people, getting this prize, getting this fame, being richer, feeling better than every single person who ever walked on earth and exercising divine vengeance on everyone who ever wronger me, a deep desire to hurt all those who have hurt me, so much armor, so much defenses, such a lack of authenticity, such a heavy egoic agenda, including fantasies of how I shall achieve my life purpose in such a magnificient ways that success will line up and I will feel so special and so amazing and girls will line up to fuck me and my life will get so much more amazing and I will be able to "connect" with people and feel so clever and amazing and have my own wikipedia page. (Now I understand to some extent what Leo meant by you are the devil !!! There is so much shit going inside you do not want to look at ! It's a whole new world !!! => If I was good at photoshop I would make a whole new world meme ) And I had put "contribution" as my second value !!!!! This is an amazing self-deception. I don't care about the contribution, I just want to accomplish my egoic agenda as fast as possible and my "life purpose" has become entirely corrupted to achieve that. What mastery work ? Ego wants this over in a week ! I could go on forever with this whole egoic shitstorm but that can quickly become sickening. So, how can I unburden myself from this ? I'll look into more shadow work, more trauma work but more concrete ressources would be helpful since I'm trying to clean my motivations regarding my life purpose and to gain more lightness and simplicity in my life. I don't wanna spend my whole life coping anymore and feeling like I'm trying to get by with a huge egoic backpack and intense armor disconnected from others and the world.

Oh I thought you were talking about the Power of now not the "practice the power of now". Well in that case I'll check it out even if I'm a bit sceptical.

Dude Neo-advaita is not just for me. I'm not the mind was a great insight and I've kept it at it. I'm more of a let's do something very concrete guy. @PsiloPutty I'm so sorry I forgot to answer ! I kept a mental note about it but was quickly ovehelmed with real life ! Sorry can't relate to that

@PsiloPutty Thank you so much for this ! I never got a very complete answer on this and I'm very glad you were so complete. I really appreciate it. Reddit usually is like yeah/no/maybe I don't care much so It feels good for a change I found it all very usefull ! I didn't like the lemon tek method because you get to eat the mushroom entirely and I don't feel that being very healthy I would much rather not eat the mushroom pulp so I feel less intoxicated. I guess adding lemon to the mushroom tea will do the trick too ? I read somewhere that this lemon juice claim wasn't actually valid from scientific standpoint too - thus I prefered to try the shroom tea ! Aside from chanting ( and actually, what would you chant ? "om" or something along those lines ? I really need to read Jed Mackenna) what would you recommend to do if the experience gets quite hairy ? Or if you get scared/paranoid ? Just chant trough it ? I've read that mushrooms can sometimes become malevolent at higher doses. Also I would love to hear some advice about the endless loop thing - where you get the idea that you're gonna get stuck forever in this strange loop and your mind convinces you the only way out is to die. That sounds quite scary and since I don't wanna fuck up my life I'm taking this very seriously. I'll try the 4 g. when I get a good set and setting a I'll be sure to report back. I have quite some exploration to do in this domain. Thank you once more for your effort. I'm sure other people will also appreciate reading this.

I'v been following "your mate tom" while doing my research on mushrooms and found him very informative. But he recently posted this new video : Basically he says that psychedelics are the type of " get the message and hang the phone" and that iboga fucked him over completely. I see a lot of self-deception, as Leo stated, first iboga can fuck you up big time and more importantly, ego being part of you is also a big self-deception. Is his ego is just in a self-induced depression because he rushed too far ahead in his work ? I'm never taking iboga for sure and I'm just wondering since we could all learn from his mistakes.

@Nahm I have a daily kriya yoga practice and I start my day with awareness with some light stretches to become aware of the body. I expected a more "cleaning" type practice to adapt @Shin I know awareness is amazing and I most likely underestimate it but I don't think JUST increasing my level of awareness will do the trick. I feel like I need some "active cleaning process" if you wish. That's how my mind tends to function anyway. Maybe I need a spiritual doctor to assign more SDS for me ? @h inandout Thanks! This is proposterous. I was glad I got some validation - and I was also glad this thread got popular. This is proposterous if you think about how we can always turn anything to nourrish the ego in a positive way. At least I'm aware of it ! Either way I'll share any great tips if I ever find some. (I feel like kriya yoga works wonders for me).

@Shin I would ten to agree but I feel that practice would be some form of short term ego repression and not true growth. Even if I can see the wisdom in not trying to be good and look good that's for freaking sure But life is not as easy as just stopping doing it

@Shin go for asus - they are usually high quality. Acer is pure garbage as far as I know and breaks really fast.