Nos7algiK

That's just dangerous thinking and disrespectful to those that do suffer from these ailments. Not everyone can just "think" their disorder away. To deny their existence is foolish. But, there is nothing wrong with questioning truly what they are. A few years back I would 100% agreed with what you are saying, but it was fitting my own self-biases and not holding empathy for others unlike myself. It's also extremally self biased and somewhat dangerous to spread around how our mental ailments are the reason for our "enlightenment". This information in the wrong hands could lead to self harm or harm to others. I don't disagree the medial industry handles these disorders improperly in more cases than not, but we shouldn't trivialize or generalize groups of people and make grandiose statements about such a complex topic.

Yes, many women I've talked to had straight up porn addictions. It's a universal "problem".

Just like we can carry our insights back over from our trips sometimes are heightened sensory awareness is brought back as well. I agree with Leo and wouldn't call it HPPD either and personally I would take it as a blessing. It happened to me as well pretty early on in my tripping days. I've never talked about it on this forum, but for me it's more than just visual noise but rather my visual field now defies what if physically possible. I obtain what some would call a visual psychic power that is always on. But, besides that I'm not going into detail about what it is for I'm not here to compare my spiritual peen size lol. But, noticing this is what really helped give me faith that all of this was "real" when it comes to awakening and I wasn't just going crazy. Other than that I can understand why it may be a bit alarming or concerning since you've been years having the same sober state until now. It can make sleeping a bit uneasy specially when it's amplified by closing your eyes or in the dark. My suggestion is to attempt to "look past it" or try not to focus on it at night. Also, try not to attach a negative stigma to what is happening. All is well, take it as a "gift" or a sign that you have progressed and expanded yourself. Try not to worry also that it will get worse if you do decide to take more psychedelics. It may become slightly more defined or in tune, but you aren't going to ruin your vision by doing more with safe practices. Again, all is well and try not to read too much on the "scientific" bs on HPPD either. It potentially could just lead to worry, when really the scientific community has pretty much zero idea what they are talking about here.

My partner is an intp and holds all the qualities you have listed. I'm an infp myself and this makes for a pretty great combo. I'm not too overly expressive of my own emotions or should I say the more negative ones since happiness/joy/love are commonly expressed, but it's not because I don't feel them. But, rather one of this personality types defining qualities is great introspection skills and a deep understanding of one self. Also, extremely receptive to other's emotions. This is great for her so she can express how she feels whenever she wishes without judgment and due to me having my own emotions down pretty well, I can use my own experience to help guide her through her emotions and help to calm and give her a since of understanding. Which helps her, in turn, develop these tools for herself giving her more faith in herself and those around her. I say this because I don't want to see others loose faith, specially in the terms of finding a lover. I know you can't just snap your fingers and find someone just like that. But, with enough patience something will come your way. Usually this happens once you truly let go of the idea of a partner and focus on your own self love. You do not have to be perfect for someone will love you for who you are now or who you will be. They will bring the best out of you and the idea of perfect will be replaced with harmony. Your love for them and their love for you will project out into the world allowing you to love all unconditionally. This, in turn, is like watering your own garden and will only cause everything around you to grow. Thus fulfilling you with more growth later. Patience is a virtue. The qualities you hold in yourself are not to be shared with just the common man or even a great man. But, rather someone who is exceptional and it takes time to cultivate such a person into your life. You will not regret waiting.

The endless battle is the idea of when all feelings are introspected deep enough they arrive at the same point, Nothing. Nothingness maybe is a better description. Not the idea that I can't find it, but rather there is no ground to arrive at. There is no Absolute reason for the feeling itself to have manifested once it's out of the moment it was conceptualized. This nothingness has potential to be anythingness. It only remains "true" the moment it is felt. I can pretend like I have the answer as to why I felt something, but it is just a narrative my ego tells to me to validate my reality/existence. I don't disagree, but I have no reason to consider my past feelings is a better way of saying it. It's not that I can't contemplate, but rather the above statement I made will arise. This doesn't mean I will never again contemplate what I perceive as the past as if I think it is hopeless. It still has it's usefulness. It's not that I do allow feeling. I fully allow the feeling, the feeling will pass. There is no reason to latch onto it for I know attempting to understand it will either give me my ego's validation or nothing. There is no reason to purposely dismiss it for it's not seen as a threat or a blessing. I suppose if something extreme happened I wouldn't be able to hold this mindset. Though I suppose no matter what I do, even if I latch completely onto my feelings and spin the greatest of narratives, I'm still in the present moment. I don't discredit feeling at all. I just believe we should breath with it.

I always found that searching for what is "true" when it comes to feelings is an endless battle. Once I contemplate the perception of a prior moment, I'm taking away my being from the now. Therefore removing my self in what is actually true, which is the present. The now is everchanging, yet constant. Temporary, yet ever lasting. So I've adapted the mentality of "it is what it is" or a permanent state of contentment within the present moment. There is no need to spin a narrative about what I feel or how I feel. This too shall pass.

Wanted to let you know that your viewpoints on all of this are very much appreciated in my eyes. @Preety_India @Emerald I watched the The Yin and Yang of Stoicism video you shared. It was very lovely and well done. As I mentioned before I've always enjoyed Emerald's work.

Nothing is permanent is a paradox just by stating it. If nothing is truly permanent then the concept of "nothing is permanent" is a permanent feature of reality. But, that is just playing word games. Nothingness is the concept of the cup being only as useful as it's emptiness. Without Nothiness, there could be no somethingness. It only "is" and it is not separate from you. Sensation is conceived from Nothiness. The idea of time, temporary is conceived from Nothingness. "Nothingness is the womb in which infinite possibilities are birthed from". But, "from" is not accurate for Nothing/Infinity are One.

Nothing(ness) is permanent, eternal. NoThing is permanent. All imagined constructs within reality are impermanent. But, there are no construct(s) for it is not its, but rather "that which is" and that is Infinite. Which is "now" and that is also Nothing, eternal.

Of course this is the case, it comes with the territory. But, the solution to problems rarely exits by fixing the poles of the problem. Rather taking a holistic approach to the situation, there is a "solution". But, solution is not the right word for it for that creates another pole. All of these concepts we are discussing are nothing more than imaginary, self fulfilling, and gives the illusion of a ground when there is none. The mind(ego) does not it when it can't feel it's own ground. The finite can only be finite, if it also holds the seed to infinity. The concept of Indra's Net describes this very well. This is why the dualistic nature of our reality is highly relative. "truth" is that which you perceive it to be, or rather that which you are "now". "Truth" would be all the "truth"s summed into one within the essence of nothingness. No One holds the answer, but as One we do. This idea alone is why I don't refute people' claims completely even if they don't resonate with me. For I know I'm ignorant and I can never truly know the finite due to it's infinite nature. I can "believe" to know, but really it's just a self delusion or confirmation biased. So with that, the philosophy is to meet my perception of other "As, I am". Which is just a fancy way of saying to be myself regardless of who I talk to. If there is an attractive female, there is no reason my ego needs to play mental games and treat her differently. Same goes for someone who may be homeless. Allowing reality to play out, remain present, without past ideas/experiences tethering you to what is possible I believe is a key to peace. Even if I'm not fully there yet. Because I am peaceful and present, reality reflects that when I meet others. Specially in person, so I can only confirm my own biases. But, this is how reality works and it will always conform to what you perceive it to be. If it did not, you would realize very easily that it's an illusion and it would no longer work on the self. As many times and I say "I" or "self" there really is no self. It's just consciousness, just awareness, and not even those two. It just is what it is. Though, I would call it Love.

I'm in full agreeance to everything you are saying here. I can not stress the importance of introspection and personal development. Not just in the concept of relationships or sexuality. But, how they affect us within on actions towards everything. Though, personally like to take a more non-dual approach to it all. It's difficult for me to unsee my experiences with all of that. But, for the sake of conversation I'll agree with this dualistic view on it all.

I'll give it a watch in a bit. Probably going to go on a walk then do it when I get back.

I agree with what you are saying. I just think what you are trying to convey to men on here, specially about female sexuality is a bit too deep of a teaching for their current understanding. Many are just dipping their toes in how to even interact around a female, let alone be able to listen and understand her. Personally, I established many healthy female friends in my life who I saw as strictly plutonic. Except for many my younger years, I never had an issue just seeing them as a friend. Many have a surreal idea that if you are friends with a woman you must court her or that the friendzone is such an evil place to be. But there is no zone when there is a mutual relationship of friendship that is being honored. A lot can be learned from both parties and it feeds a heathy emotional understanding of both. Giving women a safe space and open heart space in order for them to express themselves freely and comfortably is not only healthy to understanding the opposite sex. But, understanding the feminine aspect of ones self. But, this idea relies on the idea of a man and woman having a healthy friendship without deviant desires interfering which is easier said than done and I understand I'm an outlier when it comes to this dichotomy.

Wouldn't it be more effective to educate men on their own feminine side? It's difficult to teach others about external emotions/feelings another has within without being able to recognize that in yourself as well. Without this self recognition the mind will warp how the other feels through their own lens. So how does one see the other side without seeing it inside their self first? This is and has been my entire argument. But, it would be nice to understand why it needs to be done or why a man's feminine side doesn't need to be embraced to understand.

@Emerald We are only running around in circles here. If we continue to talk about this we are going to just repeat the same ideas over and over. I don't believe either of us is truly right or wrong. I understand your personal perspective, not because you are a woman, but because you are Emerald. This doesn't mean I have to agree with you. I don't fully disagree and I do feel like what you are saying helps at a certain level. But, I should be more wise to understand it's pointless to argue against the relative nature of the ego's self biases. You can assume you understand my perspective because I'm a man, but my view has little to do with my sex and more to do with me being Nos7algiK. If you wish to know deeper, I do not agree with most men on the forum and find it somewhat cringing and will only set themselves up to be devils in a woman's eye. But, that may stem from being out of touch with my own masculine side. I honestly can't say. When it comes to someone I do agree with wholeheartedly on this forum @Etherial Cat has a very healthy balance within herself and a great perceptive on it all.

As someone who was diagnosed with it as a child, though I didn't try meds till I was an adult I can say this. I didn't stay on meds long. They made me feel like a zombie and very disassociated so not taking them was the lesser of evils. I believed I had it and I believed it affected my life greatly. It wasn't until I tried psychedelics that I realized I created the entire disorder in my own psyche. It was a self validating paradigm of belief that was made stronger due to others such as my parents and doctors telling me I had it. The moment I had this realization of self deception was the moment it instantly disappeared from my life. But, take this all with a grain of salt for I am only one person and my example isn't a broad statement for others with ADHD.

You are right, so I'll take my leave from this. I should have stopped playing the ego games long ago for I knew what I was doing.

@EmeraldBoth parties don't understand each other equally. This isn't a man vs woman ordeal, but rather a person vs person ordeal. This has very little to do with a person's capacity to listen and largely has to do with a person's inner knowing of them own self or lack there of I should say. If we can not know ourselves and I don't mean our surface level ego bs, then how can we expect to know others? You are a damn teacher...are you really teaching your students this stuff? You have some great content and if others latch onto that they will also latch onto this idea as well. It's not a healthy idea, it's not a "this is what I've experienced" idea, but rather it's a completely biased and condescending one. When I was much younger I used to believe women couldn't understand me, specially as a man. I learned how foolish I was by looking inside my self and dropping the silly belief. I started to allow others to understand me and having faith they could. Having a prior biased against their understanding means I made unconscious psychological actions that will only revalidate my world view by withholding myself away. Once this biases were removed my relationships with women(and men) grew hundreds of times more meaningful. Just as you do not appreciate someone holding a biased against you due to you being a woman, others won't feel the same regardless of sex. Again, this is a personal lack of understanding that causes all of these issue. I would say the misunderstanding of self is equally shared in all sexes and races. I could never personally not see someone as an equal again and give them myself as Nos7algiK and nothing more/less. For me to ever treat someone anyone a different way(outside of being more mindful with children) would for some type of insecurity or trauma to arise in me. There would be hidden sexist or racist tendencies regardless if they are truly hateful or not. No, it's not just "that's my experience" because that's exactly how sexism and racism is formed....

This is extremally helpful and it's much appreciated.

Personally, I would not do it. But....If you don't you may always wonder if you made the right choice. It's not a good idea regardless, but it might be best for you to see first hand why it's not a good idea so it doesn't come to this again in the future. 95% chance she will either say nothing or possibly talk to you for a bit which will only fizzle out in a short span of time. Just be kind if you do talk to her. Though you have truly learned your lesson when you no longer make the mistakes at all. But, then again advice on the internet pales in comparison to how you actually feel right now inside.

A large portion of men have no idea how to value a woman. A main part of this is due to not valuing themselves or rejecting their feminine side. Even when a woman tells them their needs, specially their own desire for an emotional connection or intimacy. Many will deny this for their own self biases. With self love and understanding all of this will come into fruition. No longer will people need to conform to men/women stereotyping when it comes to dating. But, regardless personally I've always seen the emotional connection between two individuals as the hierarchy of the physical connection. It is not difficult to truly listen to others so they can be expressive and open up to you. But, there seems to be an aspect within men that instead of listening to emotional queues to help aid said emotions. It's instead used for exploitation or emotional intelligence isn't developed enough to notice them at all. Regardless there is a lot of demonization of both genders that happens, specially on this forum. I wouldn't say this is healthy at all, but I don't blame others for using their own experiences as a backdrop for how everyone else is. There are many lovely individuals out there, but we need to be more lovely ourselves in order to attract them.

If you do not satisfy a woman emotionally, she will leave you.

@Emerald I don't disagree with screening. But, I don't agree with women being the prize or selector. I personally believe both men and woman should be screening, obviously. But, the prize should be the moments that are created within each others presence or a possible relationship that may be established. I'm a strong believer of personal boundaries and knowing what someone wants in another. But, if only one party is doing this eventually it will collapse on itself. There is a high chance then the man will use emotional queues to mirror/reflect the woman in order to get in her best whishes. The issue with this is, the man is partially blind to what he truly wants and values in a woman and is too caught up in the game over something authentic. This is my personal gripe with the philosophy of being won over. Destroy the game, the dance, or the prize and no game will be played, no dance needs to be arranged, and no prize needs to be won. The dynamic I speak of can be found in a stage of friendship prior to the idea of wanting to be with another. For setting a stable base of friendship is extremely important for anything else healthy to be built on. Screening should naturally happen for both parties as this friendship develops and a relationship will be more "fallen into" over asking for courtship or loudly declaring ones interest because the feelings can be universally reciprocated without actually stating them.