Beam

The middle of Vancouver island , Canada

bazera don't worry others feel the same way when you enter the room !

Glad to come across this thread today Recently started organizing my life as it was as messy as my notes currently are , scattered. Using a Journal as mentioned by Christian has grabbed my attention , I'm going pick one up as I hand write my notes 95% of the time generally have a mess of loose leaf notes to deal with. The one online note stash is in my outlook express Hotmail account where info is kept that can be needed online.

I am just finding these few things out as I'm new to the game , Try to come to terms with your ego and learn to ignore its self serving tendencies. Its my understanding that it will change when you change not before and not easily at that. Being aware of its presence is a blessing with meditation you can learn to ignore its advice when it comes up.

First off almost lost my house to Taxes talk about a stressful situation , rather then pull my hair out I thought it wise to pull my life together , today I solved my tax problems and stopped the house going up for a tax sale. freak me green I have been putting in from 10 to 12hrs a day of study but in a relaxed way , I have stopped watching all TV programs ,all of them , instead I'll read or watch a video that improves my understanding of myself and my journey. I have been looking into my recent lack of performance and how my internal world has caused it. Week two of looking into my ego and my fears has shown me improvement is needed for me to make the crucial next step in my life. A small business that I have wanted to start for for years working with the disabled. I have been for what ever reason living detached from dreams of success in a small business , not anymore I finally feel inspired to get off my ass.I Am now doing exercises and weights studying and learning to be myself I had my wake up call !

Do everything you can to ensure you get on that cruise ship and start working and socializing You have a grand opportunity in front of you right now , don't let it pass you by. You will have a good opportunity for growth with that job , inter-personally wise not so much a career. You can still study and keep meditating when your at sea

Today on a ride to the grocery had stopped under a tree for relief from a thunder shower and thought it was a perfect time to meditate. The rain on the leaves began to take me away from the moment like the static of a big cosmic radio , I relaxed and chilled , when I got up to leave found had been there for near an hour , but it felt like minutes. My first time warp

I suggest to start a causal sexual friendship with a girl your currently attracted but have not asked out , don't get caged by the first girl you bed , like people would do in the 1950's Get out there and be a man , unruly and all if only for a short while to allow yourself that growth.

I have a question , whats a good method angle of approach to work on a fear of failure and rejection that override common sense ?

Thanks Ayla , I read your post , was not at peace within myself in the past and knew what anger and frustration could or would do to me Thank you too for the tip WelcometoReali... I am going to try reading a hard post threw to the end and deal with my emotions more so try to be objective. I am having a strong feeling that this issue can be dealt with using simple exposure and relaxations techniques. So i don't get pissed off at this people.. sounds funny I know but that's where I'm coming from..

your exhibiting all the traits of a human , your wise enough now to notice the ego for what it is a self serving part of ourselves

I don't actually have anyone in my life who is negative Its the people mostly strangers that are encounter in everyday life. like a disgruntled shopper or a pissed off person raising his or her voice. I have gotten myself out those situations for 10 years now by simple walking away. My issue is I'm overly sensitive to it

Don't worry about your height guys we come in all sizes 5'6" is just one of them. Tall people can feel insecure as well , try not to take your height to seriously it does not determine you , your self confidence does so work on it. accept yourself and all other people short tall or round. confidence is where success lies not in your height , and remember woman like a confident short guy just fine. I'm 5'9 and still feel short I seriously think men worry too much about their height.

Been riding my full suspension rocky mountain MTB at high speeds for my excitement , 60 mph on a gravel hill produces a lot of adrenaline and is absolutely dangerous but worth the risk imo. Also ride the mtb all over the city as well jumping curbs along the way you would never know I'm 51 years old..lol Last year lost 40 lbs of bulk and am now going to build myself up with muscle , this weak started lifting weights and doing a pretty fierce ab routine to get things rolling. The golden plan is to build my Mind and Body at the same time.

My limited understanding is to and let them pass on by as they will on their own if you give them no value / attention. What you are waiting for is breaks in the imagery those are the valuable times of self control / mindfulness.

I have done my first week using two 30 min meditation breaks a day but found sitting distracting for what ever reason. Being new to this I tried doing it lying on my back on a bed in a darkened room. Many many people prefer the sitting position , it certainly will not shorten your life in any way whats so ever. Too little sitting is as bad as to much sitting everything must be done in moderation. Tip: cut down on the intake of table sugar and sweets for a meaningful effect on your life

Transcending time

If you give praise to the person who put out the fire it would set your ego straight on the matter. If you get a chance shake the persons hand , it may teach your ego to be more respectful. Grab the bull by the horns

Nice to hear of your growth you have done well friend and it sounds like you left a dark nasty place. Good Job ! My issues revolve around a current rut of lazy thinking and slothfulness in my actions or lack there of. Had a rude awakening that I have welcomed and decided to improve on , have been improving on. Currently reading articles and watching YouTube videos to get my brain in gear , enjoying it immensely. Leo's video's grabbed my attention do to his straight forward no nonsense approach , Love it. In short life has found meaning again and I'm only on week 1 of 10 to 12 hours of self work a day. First time meditating as well it has made me much more aware of my thoughts in this short time , priceless. Hats off to Leo for his intelligent videos / approach